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421 Comments
- inactive, on 11/14/2009, -22/+517Whoever wrote this deserves a ***** Pulitzer. This so perfectly describes the masses of ignorant, uneducated talibangelicals out there.
- Expl0siv0, on 11/14/2009, -24/+427I would digg a million times if I could.
- Misinformant, on 11/14/2009, -86/+488This isn't even really satire. This is a completely accurate depiction of pretty much every tea-bagging libertarian imbecile out there.
- neognostic, on 11/14/2009, -13/+353I live in a county where 2/3 of the people voted for McCain/Palin.
This is not a spoof, this is a literal depiction of people I meet here every day. - kingofinternet, on 11/14/2009, -5/+271we live in a time where reality is more ridiculous than satire and satire can simply describe reality.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED - wwwonka, on 11/14/2009, -3/+218man, if the words "the" and "onion" weren't in the URL, I would have sworn this was a true story.
f-ing scary. - Kungfumantis239, on 11/14/2009, -12/+173Scary thing? These are the people with the guns.
- ArvickHero, on 11/14/2009, -9/+167When satire news becomes the best news..
- paulvq, on 11/14/2009, -6/+151Libertarians don't even claim the teabagging movement anymore. The wingnuts are hijacking the name "libertarian", but they're only Libertarian about taxes and only when a Democrat is president.
- ironhide, on 11/14/2009, -16/+143I don't even think most libertarians could agree on what libertarians stand for.
- kelsvowels, on 11/14/2009, -4/+120I know it says The Onion at the top, but this is definitely a true story.. I know so.
- starlon2, on 11/14/2009, -22/+126Man, you need to brush up on your politics. This doesn't come close to describing libertarians. Libertarians don't care if gays get "married" or not. It shouldn't be up to the government to decide either way. They don't care if prostitutes do their business. They don't care if you light up a joint. Most libertarians know the Constitution far more precisely than your ordinary American, and agree that it does not grant the federal government unlimited powers, which both Democrats and Republicans seem to believe it does.
This article describes a fundamental Christian, more than likely a Republican, but could be independent as well. I'd be surprised if very many libertarians believe that what you hear on mass media has any real credence, which this guy in this article asks you to turn your ear toward. Most libertarians feel mass, corporate media is a problem, not an answer. - wwwonka, on 11/14/2009, -9/+104well *****, let's get rid of FREE police protection, and FREE fire department protection, and FREE road repair, and FREE libraries, and FREE traffic control, and well you get the point...hopefully.
- LawIsGone, on 11/14/2009, -14/+100"Aren't Libertarians those ladies who work at Libraries?"
- spookyttws, on 11/14/2009, -0/+85The Onion has really been on a roll the past few weeks.
- Averness, on 11/14/2009, -2/+79Bush was your hero wasn't he? When he said 'mission accomplished', to you it was, and still is right? That article was about you.
- Semblance, on 11/14/2009, -9/+81Ha ha! That's every douche-bag conservative that watches Fox News.
- archiesteel, on 11/14/2009, -4/+73"* Free = 80% tax on income and purchases"
Yeah, because Canada has an 80% tax on income and purchases...
Oh, wait, no it doesn't. In fact, taxation levels are comparable to the US. I guess you're just lying, then. - snapcase, on 11/14/2009, -10/+78Pretty much nothing portrayed in that article is a Libertarian view. That's Neo-Con republican and fundamentalist christian speak. They've pretty much taken over the Republican party, which no longer stands for any of the things it used to in years past, and now you're helping them to do the same thing to another party. Don't call them what they are not the party they're parading as.
But of course I'll be buried into oblivion anyway. - joshreed104, on 11/14/2009, -1/+65It's not really mocking the left or the right. It's mocking idiots.
- YodaOfDarkness, on 11/14/2009, -12/+75What about the part where it says The Onion is a communist-run conspiracy, huh? Why doesn't The Onion deny that it's a communist-run conspiracy? I'm not saying it is, I'm just saying the Constitution says so.
- detcade, on 11/14/2009, -2/+65Palin commits constant blunders and shows a complete lack of experience. Suddenly, she doesn't represent Republicans.
Joe Wilson shouts at Obama, demonstrating a childish lack of self-control. Suddenly, he doesn't represent Republicans.
NY-23 is won by a Democrat. Suddenly, it no longer matters.
Countless people baselessly compare Obama to Hiter/Stalin/et al. Preachers pray for his death. Suddenly, they're not "real" Republicans.
FOX News proves itself time and time again to be intentionally misleading and biased, relying on the emotions of viewers rather than research or logic to up the ratings and make money. Suddenly, linking them to the Republican party is censorship.
Someone criticizes conservationism and general Republicanism. Suddenly, they're dismissed as fascists.
Acting like fascists while trying to call people fascists seems to be a specialty of people like you. - ironhide, on 11/14/2009, -0/+56mmmmm...onion rolls.
- geodebug, on 11/14/2009, -6/+58ooh, I'm going to keep this link handy for every time some self-styled political analyst on Digg says some new law or idea is 'unconstitutional'. As always, thanks Onion for being awesome.
- piieerrrree, on 11/14/2009, -17/+69Dugg for hilarious and mostly accurate portrayal of [cancer].
- Averness, on 11/14/2009, -9/+60No, it doesn't. No even close.
I bet you listen to a lot of talk radio? - duckferret, on 11/14/2009, -2/+52To be fair, that's your own fault.
- acroyear2, on 11/14/2009, -4/+54Buried for not really being satire. Shame on you Onion!
- elliotys, on 11/14/2009, -5/+49Why are our fake news sources (the daily show and the onion) the most inciteful and politically relevant? Well whatever the reason I am grateful.
- smord, on 11/15/2009, -5/+48There's no way that "promoting the general welfare" translates to a guarantee of universal health care, a concept that was unheard of in the 18th century. Curunir is right, the article takes a satirical jab at liberals with that line.
- ileftfark, on 11/14/2009, -2/+45Where the chick that believes that universal health care is mandated by the Constitution. It was hidden in the text of the article.
- detcade, on 11/14/2009, -7/+48This is absolutely beautiful.
- fangor, on 11/14/2009, -4/+42I'm really sad that I did not expect this to be the onion :<
- JasonAdams13, on 11/14/2009, -4/+42What I hate the most is the people like that who say America was founded as Christian country. Just because it was founded by Christians, doesn't make IT Christian. That's like saying Christianity was founded by Jews, therefore Christianity is Jewish, and America is a Jewish country.
- detcade, on 11/14/2009, -10/+48You say that as if the people blasting Obama have "reasoning"
- detcade, on 11/14/2009, -4/+41"Ideas are bulletproof"
- V - perogi21, on 11/14/2009, -11/+47I'm embarrassed and dumbfounded that this is what the typical digger believes is the libertarian party. The people who I have met are nowhere near this
- Silentnite85, on 11/15/2009, -5/+40Then practice your own constitutional right and arm yourself.
- kingmanic, on 11/14/2009, -25/+60Libertarian: Someone who thinks a simplistic philosophy that appears to be unachievable will fix every problem in the world. Often doesn't even understand that philosophy. World view often shaped by some interaction with badly written and badly thought out fiction from a 20th century Russian woman.
See also:
idealist - katie82, on 11/15/2009, -1/+35My condolences.
- RatatRatR, on 11/14/2009, -0/+34The college daughter's line.
- archiesteel, on 11/14/2009, -2/+35"you get the point...hopefully"
Don't count on it. - copypastry, on 11/14/2009, -0/+33If you really need to get your hate on, go to google image search, type in "person", select image search for faces.
Pick a random person's face, and start your hate!
Two minute hate GO!
Today I hated on this guy: http://abcofnc.moonfruit.com/communities/6/004/005 ... - Earthacis, on 11/14/2009, -0/+32A GOP in libertarian clothing as it were?
- richirwin, on 11/15/2009, -1/+33Given that we have republican Senators attributing lines from the Declaration of Independence to the Constitution, the Onion is closer to reality than ever before. And that's saying a lot.
- elliotys, on 11/14/2009, -2/+33Hey superkendall. . .Let me be the first to say
WHOOOSH!!! - ironhide, on 11/14/2009, -1/+32You got us, the Onion is part of the "vast left-wing conspiracy"
- archiesteel, on 11/14/2009, -2/+33An anarcho-capitalistic state wouldn't be run by the people, but by corporations.
- derealbhoy, on 11/15/2009, -2/+32How can anyone stand up for Bush and hate Obama. I love being European, this ***** just makes no sense to us. One sends troops to disrupt and destroy the lives of thousands of innocent people and the other tries to give health care to the less fortunate.
[I'm not saying European politics isn't a bit ***** up, it's just not as blatantly humorous as this.] - curunir, on 11/14/2009, -18/+48Idiots are on both sides, and they touched on that, too:
"He believes the Constitution allows the government to torture people and ban gay marriage, yet he doesn't even know that it guarantees universal health care." -
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