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A Gentleman's Guide To Toppling Foreign Governments

asylum.co.uk — The only guide you'll ever need for overthrowing the sub-saharan dictatorship of your choice…

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25 Comments

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  • Lowenfels, on 11/04/2009, -0/+9"Get your arms from a reputable vendor."

    Why didn't anyone tell me that before I tried to become the King of Romania? Goddamn gun-jams.
  • untreadatom, on 11/05/2009, -1/+71. Find a third world country whose resources you want to exploit for unbelievable profits, while ignoring the indigent population. (Oil works well, but fruit, or even a slave wage workforce can fill in for your resource)
    2. Make sure that the leader you want to topple is somehow interested in lifting the population out of poverty (extra bonus points if he is a socialist, but former priests work)
    3. Lobby the United States government to help so they might share in your expected profits.
    4. Get the CIA to do your heavy lifting.
    5. Sit back, get rich, and enjoy said profits.
    Examples of this procedure at work: Cuba, Iran, Guatemala, Honduras, Chile, Haiti, Cambodia, Bolivia, El Salvador, Haiti (again), Honduras (again). Whose next? You decide!
  • jeremiahjw, on 11/05/2009, -0/+5I'll certainly keep these in mind when I take over the country of my choice. :-)
  • 100thwindow, on 11/05/2009, -2/+6Uh oh, an unsavory remark about Obama. I predict a flame-fest coming your way.
  • VitriolAndAngst, on 11/05/2009, -0/+3This list is useless without Kissinger and Negroponte weighing in with their practical experience.
  • CCCPSpy, on 11/05/2009, -0/+3What about when the CIA stops backing you, and the local guerrilla faction (with Chinese/Russian backing) catches wind?
  • untreadatom, on 11/05/2009, -0/+3I just thought that my method is tried and true. The united states just has more experience in toppling governments than any other country in the world.
  • emecks, on 11/05/2009, -0/+3Changing the name of the list of financiers for my coup now… Wonga list indeed.
  • phpld, on 11/05/2009, -0/+2Somehow the word "gentlemen" lacks a certain geno se qua.
  • Yomoxu, on 11/05/2009, -0/+2Who would want Haiti? It's a shiathole.
  • Bowd99, on 11/05/2009, -0/+2*Je ne sais quoi

    To add to your point, "gentleman" is an adequate word. Scratch the surface and you'll find that most Knights and Lords of the realm are the most unscrupulous, ruthless and downright dodgy *****. Just more evidence that the political system, monarchy and class system of the UK is corrupt beyond the point of repair.
  • untreadatom, on 11/05/2009, -0/+1The CIA normally worked with some governmental agency and was actually working on behalf of the US government. The Russians supplied self organized guerrilla 'revolutionaries' and were not interested in the profits they would get after the overthrow.
  • charliemarx, on 11/05/2009, -2/+3I for one welcome our new gentleman overlords.

    Sorry, someone had to say it.
  • 100thwindow, on 11/05/2009, -1/+2Well put.
  • simbait, on 11/05/2009, -0/+1I absolutely have to bookmark this page.
  • Lowenfels, on 11/05/2009, -0/+1I'm no idiot....so, sorry.

  • cjsmith87, on 11/05/2009, -0/+1Canada, Oh Canada
  • Bloodweaver, on 11/05/2009, -0/+1It's so hard to find good help.
  • govsucks, on 11/05/2009, -9/+9For information on how to topple a first world nation see: Us Government, Bush Administration and Obama Administration financial plans.
  • mrcoderga, on 11/08/2009, -1/+1A century of interventions around the world that resulted in the overthrow of 14 governments -- in Hawaii, Cuba, the Philippines, Puerto Rico, Vietnam, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Honduras, Panama, Chile, Iran, Grenada, Afghanistan, and Iraq.

    Can you name this overthrower? Hint: It's not the author of this guide.


    If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

    -- James Madison
  • Skaistrendy, on 11/05/2009, -4/+4Alright! US bashing! Even when this article has nothing to do with a Americans
  • toxicshok, on 11/05/2009, -1/+1Most governments toppled for resources are run by brutal dictators and the puppet state that replaces them is done by brutal dictators.
  • untreadatom, on 11/05/2009, -1/+1I would check your facts on that claim.
  • inactive, on 11/05/2009, -1/+1Rules about regime change:

    When the CIA helps oust a left-wing socialist president it is called toppling a democratic government

    When the Russians help a marxist force toppled a capitalist president it is called "a revolution"
  • KahRahTay, on 11/05/2009, -4/+1it's not that it was an unsavory remark about Obama, he mentioned Bush as well. it's the tinfoilhattery that's getting him buried

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