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The most incredibly messed up "Choose Your Own Adventure" you'll ever play

atrianglemorning.com — Join the circus. Start a nuclear war. Go back in time and sleep with your mother. Play the first two levels of Castlevania. I don't remember the books being like this when I was a kid!

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  • chakalakasp, on 10/11/2007, -1/+325You know, the life of a hobo is a bit less exciting than I'd pictured it to be.
    • merripen, on 10/11/2007, -1/+128True, but I still played it out for an hour and a half. It doesn't really ramp up much, aside from Montana.
    • monsterenergy, on 10/11/2007, -44/+5a while ago i played a board game called 'nuclear escape' made by germany during the cold war. there were options such as 'add more missile silos' or 'triple bomber plane number'

      pretty ironic since it was made during that period of time..
    • supermanred, on 10/22/2007, -3/+154Ive been playing as a hobo for hours now and still have yet to get an xbox achievement pop up on my screen.
    • fober, on 10/11/2007, -24/+8I don't how the ***** it happened, but I think I just killed a family of Indonesian pink alligators in another dimension with a spatula.
    • pants428, on 10/22/2007, -23/+79am i the only one who wants the "snorg tees" girl to put my dick in her mouth?
    • Tripacer, on 10/11/2007, -1/+118***** got killed by a manticore at the school...

      seriously, who sends their kids there?
    • noopzilla!, on 10/11/2007, -2/+93the manticore keeps eating me
    • merreborn, on 10/11/2007, -1/+189> Get some fish sticks.
      You got some fish sticks. YOU WIN!



      I think I like this game.
    • gxcdesign, on 10/11/2007, -4/+40that manticore is ***** annoying, why can't I just kill him?
    • tincansandtwine, on 10/11/2007, -3/+66I just opened a door in my house and genuinely expected a manticore to be behind it. Scared the ***** out of me for a second.
    • maerc, on 10/11/2007, -1/+81Why does the manticore eat me when I try to put her top on?

      WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

      I just wanted to be a good person...
    • bakagaigin, on 10/11/2007, -2/+15Reminds me of the original Shadowgate for NES, that game had some ridiculous deaths.
    • havokzero, on 10/11/2007, -3/+36Ahahaha... I initiated a nuclear apocalypse.
    • Lixie, on 10/11/2007, -1/+18I used a double barreled shotgun on Shakespeare and started speaking German.
    • Lixie, on 10/11/2007, -1/+19I won the game! I won the game! Not a "You Win", but a full screen "You Win the Game" message.
    • diggcopblowme, on 10/11/2007, -2/+18I have successfully fathered myself.
    • elmafudd, on 10/11/2007, -1/+47For the full screen "You win the game"
      Manhole > Jump in > Right > Detroit > Gas station > Go back > Straight > Sneak into pipe > City > Alley > Docks > Gangplank > Bridge > Click "ship"
    • LocalDocal, on 10/11/2007, -2/+25@chakalakasp (#6837291) said: "You know, the life of a hobo is a bit less exciting than I'd pictured it to be."

      Yeah, it would be kind of nice if following the trail of the hobo (the first thing I did) was more than, I don't know, just riding on trains? Then again, what would also be nice if half the options didn't end up with me being devoured by the Manticore.

      Hell, the game loves the Manticore so much that it even lets the thing devour me two more times regardless of what options I choose after starting over.
    • Nok1, on 10/11/2007, -7/+28If you wait for hitler (and click the wait button 183 times) he actually comes back. (I tried it twice to make sure)
    • monarch00, on 10/11/2007, -3/+18Did anyone else notice that the nuclear missile looks surprisingly phallic??
    • fsckface, on 10/11/2007, -7/+4Joallie! Gers dun beddum frut ski bon moerd tone tone flod bedder.

      Jer don sun fland merdoos.
      GUN FERN
    • icehawk, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4Lol i got double game over - eaten by a manticore and a giant spider
    • dn11, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2"Reminds me of the original Shadowgate"

      That's the first thing I thought of. But I loved that game anyhow. It's strange how creepy and atmospheric those old 8 bit graphics and music could be.
    • CountC, on 10/11/2007, -0/+5Am I wrong for wanting to father myself? :(
    • huckdunsany, on 10/11/2007, -4/+9Im in ur sewerz, nookin ur countreez!
    • vajra918, on 10/11/2007, -5/+3win!
      http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z230/vajra918/Capture.jpg
    • jrbrewin, on 10/11/2007, -1/+1yeah, that happened to me too.. wrong coding choice! :
    • tech42er, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2@digg
      How? The manticore always eats you. Ditto the secretary scene.
  • lifeofthunder, on 10/11/2007, -1/+48I think I destroyed the English language just now.
    • Buckiller, on 10/11/2007, -8/+65I got eaten by a manticore at just about every point in this game... worst game ever.
    • eq2s, on 10/11/2007, -0/+44You are surprised and killed by a Manticore! It quickly shreds your flesh and devours you.
    • BoneheadFarker, on 10/11/2007, -2/+7@Buckiller

      Would you rather be eaten by a grue?
    • doddilus, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9I killed shakespear with a shotgun, destroying the english language, and then got eaten by pi

      truly the best choose your own adventure ever
  • awgg919, on 10/11/2007, -5/+79What the hell is a Manticore and why must it devour me!
  • WUThad, on 10/11/2007, -0/+119A school with an open manhole, a hole in the fence, and a manticore that randomly shows up is no place I would want to send my kids.
    • theoverlord, on 10/11/2007, -0/+74Which is exactly why your kids won't survive the nuclear war.
    • porfirio, on 10/11/2007, -0/+29If they do survive the nuclear war they surely won't live through that damned manticore
  • orb_nsc, on 10/11/2007, -1/+96Whoops, I caused global thermonuclear war in six moves.
    • razrielle, on 10/11/2007, -1/+42i did it in 5
    • GawtMilk, on 10/11/2007, -2/+65HOW_ABOUT_A_GAME_OF_CHESS
    • DarkDynamite, on 10/11/2007, -5/+4Greetings proffessor falken.
    • coit, on 10/11/2007, -7/+7The best move is not to play at all.
    • FieldAnonymouse, on 10/11/2007, -9/+3Close, but I believe the actual line is "The only winning move is not to play."
    • coit, on 10/11/2007, -1/+7I was talking about this game, not the movie.
  • DCB360, on 04/11/2008, -35/+4*****
  • imsteve22, on 10/11/2007, -0/+45who would of known, you can win just by looting castlevania
    • MatttK, on 10/11/2007, -0/+13I took Bomberman and apparently got trapped inside a video game where the only outcome was to be eaten by a Manticore.

      But the first time I played, I went to look for survivors in the school cause I knew that I started the game hungry. I went and looted some fish sticks and won the game! Bwahaha.
    • EODMpink, on 10/11/2007, -0/+23Okay. you got me. Take my SHIP.
    • selrahc, on 10/11/2007, -0/+10It's easier that that. You can win just by eating fish sticks.
  • tektalk, on 10/11/2007, -2/+56I hate the ***** manticore, especially during the scene with the secretary!
  • darny, on 10/11/2007, -4/+22so lame. i'm stuck being a hobo.
    • LucasVB, on 10/11/2007, -0/+74Heh, there's a social commentary somewhere in that phrase.
    • moncef, on 10/11/2007, -2/+7@LucasVB

      ahahaha props for that comment
    • nikko11, on 10/11/2007, -1/+9If you are stuck being a hobo, or anything else, just right click on and off the "Play".

      worked for me.
    • rocke86, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8"If you are stuck being a hobo, or anything else, just right click on and off the "Play"."

      If only that worked in real life
    • dn11, on 10/11/2007, -1/+2there are a few places you get stuck in the game - i'm wondering if there is anything more to those spots?
    • Moocat, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1For some reason while being a hobo, the other hobo once turned into a manticore so I clicked on him so I could get back to the start. I don't know if it's random or if it's supposed to happen but doesn't for some reason.
    • rhyme22, on 10/11/2007, -2/+1Try right-clicking and clicking "Play" when you get stuck. In some places (like 1908 Boston) it seems to jump you to totally different places. I wonder if that was on purpose or a bug?
    • tech42er, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1You can do a lot of weird stuff by right clicking play.
    • KingGorilla, on 07/31/2008, -0/+1God damn I've eaten so much beans
  • m2313, on 10/11/2007, -17/+0I just have a please stand by screen....Is there anything I can do to make it go faster?
    Nevermind It loaded
  • mortigon, on 10/11/2007, -4/+34Woot, shoe cobbler's apprentice FTW
    • mortigon, on 10/11/2007, -3/+44Aw wtf, all I can do is fix shoes or clean the chimney.

      shoe cobbler's apprentice FTL
    • ablez3, on 10/11/2007, -27/+5no
      i am a slave to a ***** shoe cobbler!!
      and there is no option to bash him upside his head
      and ass rape him.
    • AKBryant54, on 10/11/2007, -4/+3eww
    • diktator279, on 10/11/2007, -1/+41Why does ass rape always have to be an option for you
    • fudgeigor, on 10/11/2007, -2/+46What do you mean? When is ass rape NOT an option?
    • VampireLlama, on 10/11/2007, -6/+0no donkey punk for you!
  • NCecil, on 10/11/2007, -2/+28@darny

    Now you know how real hobos feel. All. The. Time.
  • razrielle, on 10/11/2007, -0/+25***** ZOMBIE!!!
  • rhyme22, on 10/11/2007, -0/+49I got to a big picture of pi and there were no choices, just pi written to, gee, i don't know maybe 199 places. Nothing is clickable, had to start over. This game rules.
    • mulberryx, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4i got out of that, kind of by accident i think. i right clicked on the flash and clicked play. then i got stuck in another endless loop, but it was an ASCII happy face wandering through the maze :|
    • Spuy767, on 10/11/2007, -2/+1I managed to get to a 1 / 3.14 screen whoever designed this game was on some wicked strong shrooms.
    • MarkOfTheDead, on 10/11/2007, -2/+0mulberryx- whoa howd you get zzt?
  • smurf22, on 10/11/2007, -0/+23Freaking great, Love the opera music with the nukes
  • unknownsoldierX, on 10/11/2007, -1/+55"You get fish sticks!!! You win!!!" WTF?
  • mortigon, on 10/11/2007, -1/+38Oops.

    Sorry America
  • Erriapo, on 10/11/2007, -0/+29woot i became a zombie in a hitler ravaged post apocalyptic world
  • nathanwalker, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7Hell yeah. Anyone make it to the Ankh game? That was funny to find.
  • dpk87, on 10/11/2007, -0/+15Holy crap, I tried to kill shakespear with a flamethrower but hitler appeared and stole my time machine.. I waited for days but he never came, so I left to entire an apocalyptic world where I was attacked by a zombie. But have no fear, I now live a happy life as a zombie.
  • Destinatus, on 10/11/2007, -1/+2Yay, I got the fish sticks! I win the game!
  • m2313, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2You find codes in regard to this year's tax forms. And that helps me how?
    • arjie, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2You win dude. Isn't that better than being in the back room with the secretary?
    • tech42er, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1If a manticore kills you, yes.
  • xCrAzYMaNx, on 10/11/2007, -2/+2haha i got to undress a tax attorney lady!
  • Thermopylae, on 10/11/2007, -1/+31Whats with all the manticores killing me everywhere..
  • ArgusSmith, on 10/11/2007, -1/+22I'm confused; a lot of endings involved naked women and then being eaten by a manticore out of nowhere, or just a manticore eating you for no reason whatsoever.
    • Aroundtown27, on 10/11/2007, -1/+31and you're confused why? Don't your days end like this too?

    • ArgusSmith, on 10/11/2007, -8/+0Not the manticore bit, no. Although combining promiscuity with death seems a bit like a secret message... hidden agendas, perhaps?
    • DangerMouse9, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2They have camps for people like you, but I hear they don't work so well.
  • masterskill, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8I got attacked by pi :(
  • Kyle0wnsyou, on 10/11/2007, -8/+2Best flash game EVAR.

    If someone makes a walkthrough for this I will sick the diggnation on them.
  • Guroom, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Anyone else play for an hour and finally not cause nuclear MAD or live life as a hobo (not to mention the damn manticore...and next thing you know you've played castelvania for two hours?
    • Kyle0wnsyou, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9It's not castlevania, it's A Triangle Morning's other game. Notice the url change?
    • Guroom, on 10/11/2007, -2/+4ha....um...no :) guess a spliff will do that
    • Kyle0wnsyou, on 10/11/2007, -2/+4LOL. Yeah that's probably the only reason I'm still playing this.
  • Flashman, on 10/11/2007, -3/+1That loading screen is classic...
  • Rikushix, on 10/11/2007, -0/+25I GOT CORNBREAD I WON
  • Tanishh, on 10/11/2007, -0/+31 Damn that manticore, ruined it with both the secretary and my mom:(
    • JonLatane, on 10/11/2007, -0/+21Go for the acrobat, you at least get her top off.
    • succubuskiller, on 10/11/2007, -0/+6The Manticore is the biggest cockblocker of all time. The secretary needed help.... undressing herself.
    • tech42er, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1The manticore eventually kills you though.
  • Canadacdn, on 10/11/2007, -2/+0I got fish sticks.
  • dbradley96, on 10/11/2007, -0/+16effing manticore pisses me off....just pops up at the most random times lol!
  • rezist, on 10/11/2007, -2/+15Buried as inaccurate, I was a hobo for several years and saw a lot more action than that!
  • Kyle0wnsyou, on 10/11/2007, -0/+51What I learned from this game:

    Don't trust women in worlds where manticores exist.
    Don't trust time machines.
  • Satanael, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9Worship thy manticore.
    • Kyle0wnsyou, on 10/11/2007, -0/+13and thy harpy
    • pearlygate, on 10/11/2007, -0/+10and thy giant spider
    • leszek, on 10/11/2007, -0/+6and thy zombie
    • betterth, on 10/11/2007, -0/+14And so-eth the Manticore lord spoke-eth unto the masses, "have no other fantasy creatures before me, for in doing so would be to worship false beasts" (The Manticorible, Ch XI)

      You all are blasphemous, IMO.
    • masgaster, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3and pi
  • aschmack, on 10/11/2007, -16/+2Ha, I made it glitch.
    Go down manhole,right,to detroit,to the city,left,shotgun,finish off shakespeare,win,"Fell dee dorn Pitt d'or'Ev'remore",text1

    if you click gosub{ it gives you pi.

    Oh, and, ***** manticores.
    • Satanael, on 10/11/2007, -0/+25Well I'm stuck in 1908 making shoes and looking up a chimney
    • noopzilla!, on 10/11/2007, -4/+7haha ur so kewl!

      it's not a glitch, gay ass
  • d1onysus, on 10/11/2007, -0/+19i didnt live long as a hobo, manticore got there too... :'(
  • b.m.a.n, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3the most screwed up ***** I have played in years....awesome!! lol
  • CLShortFuse, on 10/11/2007, -7/+1you can actually win the game. it will say. "You win the game"
    After I won, I went through every option, and btw, if you fix the green or red wire, you get warped to a random spot in the quest, so don't worry about those
    • Outdoor83, on 10/11/2007, -0/+10If you fix the green wire, you eliminate the Earth from space-time. Only the red will get you to the random spot. Most of which are the damned shooting-shakespeare, as that's like 10 screens and the odds favor hitting it.
  • cheddar, on 10/11/2007, -1/+51Hole in the fence -> circus -> acrobat -> get dressed for show -> help stretch -> put top on

    Boobies FTW. Unavoidable manticore at the end, but you get to see boobies before dying :D
    • dn11, on 10/11/2007, -1/+19"you get to see boobies before dying :D"

      that is every diggers total aspiration in life
    • pmace, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2I saw boobies once.... wait, no, that was something else.
    • MarkOfTheDead, on 10/11/2007, -2/+11me too!

      they were like..........a bag of sand...........
  • Stevethegreat, on 10/11/2007, -1/+3I destroyed the world through a nuclear holocaust and as a matter of fact I started playing Castlevania on a ruined video game store. This game rocks is so so random that it makes it genius.
  • Odjn, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9Too much manticore...
    • Hockey37, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9Never.
    • diktator279, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4I have a fever, and the only cure is more manitcore
    • SocialPoison, on 10/11/2007, -1/+1I have a fever... and the only cure is more... *gunshot*
  • madjack3, on 10/11/2007, -0/+11I found documents regarding this year's changes in the tax code... And Won!
  • radishes, on 10/11/2007, -0/+12I stole a boat from an 8-bit pirate.
    I think I win
  • funkyjunk3, on 10/11/2007, -2/+30How To Win:

    **********SPOILER WARNING***********
    Press:
    Start
    Click here to begin
    Accidentally slip down the manhole
    Go ahead and jump in OR "Wait! Go Back! I don't want to die!"
    Go on
    Goto the right
    Travel back in time to 1972
    Goto the gas station
    Go back
    Go Straight
    Quickly sneak over to the pipe
    Go into the city
    Go on to the docks
    Go up the gangplank
    enter the bridge!
    {click} SHIP!
    --------------------------------
    enjoy the annoying, repetitive psychedelic music!!!!
    • kaph, on 10/11/2007, -0/+30@funkyjunk3 (#6843182)
      That's all well and good...... but where are the boobies?? I'll stick to getting eaten by the manticore :)
    • tech42er, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1Got through the hole
      Go to the circus
      Become an acrobat
      Get dressed for show
      Help stretch

      Happy?
  • Kinjiru, on 10/11/2007, -4/+13LMAO... now try it after doing a huge bong hit!!!!
    • ezkiel, on 10/11/2007, -1/+22Have you ever chose your own adventure... on weeeeed?
    • MarkOfTheDead, on 10/11/2007, -0/+0return of the ninja cyoa book FTW





      and weed.
  • digitallysick, on 10/11/2007, -0/+14I got stuck in the past making shoes
  • gojcaj, on 10/11/2007, -0/+12i just died from Pi
  • MysticSavage, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8I think I just ***** a wookie. Wait, what were we doing?
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