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122 Comments
- Tyrghast, on 11/11/2009, -1/+232Why won't limewire connect?
Probably because of the two hundred computer crippling viruses you got the last time you used limewire. - rwbrinso, on 11/11/2009, -10/+206America: where this is the No. 1 searched thing on Veterans Day. Sigh.
- havek23, on 11/11/2009, -8/+196"Why won't god heal amputees?"
That made me lol more than the parakeet one... - Johntotherescue, on 11/11/2009, -1/+157veterans fought so you can have the freedom to get your parakeet to eat your diarrhea
- EuropaCar, on 11/11/2009, -3/+100why don't you leave the 'punch line' out of the title
- clone206, on 11/11/2009, -1/+94If you click on the first result, one of the answers is golden:
"Actually, birds such as a parakeet will typically adhere to a strict diet of nuts, fruits and vegetables with no dairy. If you have eaten dairy recently, perhaps that's why your parakeet won't eat it..." - MasterEvilAce, on 11/11/2009, -1/+66You can lead a parakeet to diarrhea, but you can't make it eat.
- amabaie, on 11/11/2009, -3/+64Well, at least we know what people have on their minds.
- jordantneff, on 11/11/2009, -3/+53AMERICA! ***** YEAH!
- TheBigBad, on 11/11/2009, -2/+49then why won't it?
- matthewf01, on 11/11/2009, -2/+48I typed "why" in the firefox search bar and google suggest also came back with such gems as:
"why is there a dead pakistani on my couch?"
"why is my poop green?"
"why did I get married?"
"why did michael jackson turn white?" - christoast, on 11/11/2009, -7/+53The answer to that question is simple,
Who do you think made the amputees, amputees? That's right. - angrytortilla, on 11/11/2009, -3/+34It's an honest question, really, and we demand answers!
- catalysis, on 11/11/2009, -2/+33Punishment for masturbation.
- nic2020, on 11/11/2009, -1/+23Actually Matthewf01,
The "why is there a dead pakistani on my couch?" question is not as random as it seems to appear. This is actually a dialogue spoken by Hurley's mother (a character) in the popular TV show 'Lost'. Season 5 if I am not wrong :) - ileftfark, on 11/11/2009, -0/+20He was showing some of the gems you can find on Yahoo Answers... this was a question actually on there. Probably a channer trolling, but funny nonetheless. Now, there are millions of copycats, and the original was probably deleted.
- iammikecohen, on 11/11/2009, -1/+21It was a Yahoo Answers post that showed up on Tosh.0 and people like recreating it like so:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=200907 ... - Gr00ver, on 11/11/2009, -1/+18All part of Gods plan.
- drmangrum, on 11/11/2009, -1/+16Not quite the same thing, but it works.
Chumba wumba gobbledy goo
life isn't fair, it's sad but it's true
Chumba wumba gobbledy gee
When your poor legs are stiff as a tree
What do you do when your stuck in a chair?
Finding it hard to go up and down stairs
What do you think of the one you call God?
Isn't his absence slight-ly odd? (maybe he's forgotten you)
Chumba wumba gobbledy gorse
Count yourself lucky you're not a horse
They would turn you into dog food
or to chumba wumba gobbledy glue. - christoast, on 11/11/2009, -2/+16The simple answer to this age old query is that parakeets do not eat diarrhea.
- ldailey06, on 11/11/2009, -0/+14http://www.whywontgodhealamputees.com/
- ldsan, on 11/11/2009, -1/+15apparently it has something to do with tosh.0
i tried to figure it out with a quick search, but couldn't turn up any useful links.
anyone else wanna elaborate please? - elliotys, on 11/11/2009, -2/+15Parakeets hate the texture, take an immodium and try again in a couple of hours.
By the way, thanks for putting the joke in the title. /s - plainOldFool, on 11/11/2009, -1/+14*****, that actually makes sense. The last season of Lost better not suck.
- Jordan117, on 11/11/2009, -1/+13Well, the #1 thing starting with "why won't."
- jordantneff, on 11/11/2009, -1/+12http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0diCvwHJjY4
- Sucka27, on 11/11/2009, -1/+12We all knew it was you so we said "HAHAHA OH ***** THAT *****!!!!! NO ***** WAY MAN!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAAHA NICE TRY DUDE!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!"
- plainOldFool, on 11/11/2009, -1/+12He won't marry you because you insist on force feeding your parakeet your diarrhea.
- norwegianlegion, on 11/12/2009, -1/+11I can answer the God not healing Amputees question:
God only responds to calls for help through prayer, and the prayer has to be done right. Kneel and clap your hands in front of you. Keep your head down for piousness, or up if you want to be dramatic, but if you keep your head up that prayer better be ***** good. Start with Dear God, state request, say amen. Throw in Holy Spirit or other holy bodies for holy brownie points.
The problem is, amputees who have lost an arm can't clap their hands together to properly pray, and leg amputees can't kneel without falling over. They could technically get a box or something, but we all know God hates cheaters and wouldn't count it. Anyway, since they aren't praying correctly, it's like they dialed the wrong number, so probably got Ghanesh or some ***** god, and we all know he's a pussy god who can't even summon a simple ***** plague on infidels. I dare you to smite me, Ghanesh! Oh wait, you can't! I bet the best you can do is put a rock in my shoe. Pussy.
So yea, it's not that God hates amputees, it's just that he placed them in a cruel situation where they either can't change the radio while they drive or walk without looking like something Tim Burton thought up. But hey, at the very least he didn't make them soulless, sodomizing Canadians. - 11oops, on 11/11/2009, -0/+9I guess the title must not be like any of these either then?
http://digg.com/search?s=parakeet+diarrhea+-b& ...
p.s. I love the Imodium A-D adsense on that search. - Onion575, on 11/11/2009, -2/+10Lol, women don't know how to computer.
- pitchblackjava, on 11/11/2009, -0/+8I don't get what the big deal is. I've been asking this about my bird for years.
- JustinLeung, on 11/12/2009, -0/+8Why aren't we asking this on Wolfram Alpha?
- DulcetTone, on 11/11/2009, -3/+11Why won't Budgie eat my Fudgie?
- slapded, on 11/11/2009, -2/+10why does the google logo look like a penis
- Skirrie, on 11/11/2009, -0/+7It's the rapture, Ikea style.
Assemble your saint!
Some parts not included or may be delivered at a later date. - hivoltage815, on 11/11/2009, -0/+7Better not let your wife see a cache of the "why did I get married?" query.
- jshhmr, on 11/11/2009, -2/+8Thanks John. Haven't had soda come out the nose since 5th grade.
- Gguillorn, on 11/12/2009, -0/+6And on that note I'm calling it a night.
- zip000, on 11/11/2009, -2/+8I manage a computer lab as part of my job; when I came on originally, they claimed the computers were secure, but when I actually went through and cleaned them up, most of them had a crippling amount of crap on them, and most of them had limewire on them as well.
- sebnewall, on 11/12/2009, -0/+6Paging Dr. Greenthumb..
- Dinosquid, on 11/11/2009, -1/+7more importantly, why didn't he make me oatmeal this morning? Chopping legs is more important than making me breakfast? BREAKFAST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY. And I prayed wicked hard. Kid.
- tastybbq, on 11/11/2009, -1/+6I like the "What are" first result better.
- havek23, on 11/11/2009, -0/+5Haven't you seen that guy who regrew his fingertip using that pig bladder powder? They're testing it further, but it's very similar to stem cells.
- dennisa31, on 11/11/2009, -0/+5he wont marry you because your not in the kitchen
- tikiman453, on 11/12/2009, -0/+5if you don't get that parakeet to eat your diarrhea, then the terrorists have won.
- diskoh, on 11/11/2009, -2/+7I'm glad this one got front-paged instead so I didn't have to auto-bury it for photoshopping the word "fail"onto it.
- smemily, on 11/11/2009, -0/+5I always thought pig bladders were for inflating, and playing ball.
- SethEllis, on 11/12/2009, -0/+5***** you. My parakeet just died last night.
- iamacyborg, on 11/12/2009, -0/+5stupid commie parakeet
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