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145 Comments
- cor315, on 06/26/2009, -3/+120Cracked should have its own school. Learning would be so much more fun.
- EggAndMuffin, on 06/26/2009, -1/+110Mosquitoes are annoying *****.
- Pilomotor, on 06/26/2009, -2/+94Fun fact: the reason rats got blamed for the black plague is because they were so numerous, and the reason they were so numerous is because all the cats keeping their population in check were killed by people at the beginning of the plague outbreak because cats were associated with witchcraft and were therefore blamed for the disease initially.
- bonk2k, on 06/26/2009, -1/+86Thanks again cracked for starting my day out with the unshakable feeling that I have bugs crawling all over me.
- Alias1431, on 06/27/2009, -0/+46Eighty seven cocoons.
- PterionFracture, on 06/27/2009, -1/+46You don't have to be an ***** to be annoyed by mosquitoes.
- cyrix, on 06/27/2009, -0/+42The more you know. *cues rainbow star*
- amabaie, on 06/26/2009, -1/+42So if we do mass spraying to rid ourselves of mosquitos and the possibility of various dieases they carry, we could totally upset the entire ecosystem., right?
- Calamier, on 06/26/2009, -6/+46FALSE. Wasps do indeed deserve to be hated.
I was attacked by a wasps nest while mowing the FENCED in backyard after my dad locked the sliding glass door and told me he would only unlock it when I was done. I've had a ridiculous fear of wasps ever since...
I dislocated my shoulder in an elevator after discovering there was a wasp in there with me. ***** Wasps. - bytor4232fb, on 06/27/2009, -0/+29The more you know.
- unsocialentity, on 06/27/2009, -0/+26I have a pet rat, sweetest rodent I've ever had. She's never bitten me, I was able to potty train her in about a week and I can let her loose without worrying about her chewing on cords or getting wedged somewhere.
- Agalychnis, on 06/26/2009, -1/+27Picture under the title for Mosquitoes is not a mosquito. Crane Fly. Not even related, just looks a little similar.
- mbelrose, on 06/26/2009, -0/+25Mainly attacking and blocking, though it could be sacrificed to the Lord of the Pit.
- Vodd9, on 06/27/2009, -2/+26............................................________
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..................................., - bytor4232fb, on 06/27/2009, -0/+23I agree. Wasps are dicks. Now bumblebees, they kick ass.
- Jordan117, on 06/27/2009, -0/+23***** cockroaches. I encountered a good 2-inch flying one in my bathroom at 3:00 a.m. last night -- had to smash it with a shoe while it was busy preening its hairy little legs. The shoe split its body apart, and its head landed a few feet away... antennas still waggling, as if nothing had happened. Disgusting little bastards.
(Also, Pixar's already had a cockroach character -- remember WALL-E's pet? -- and it hasn't done a damn bit of good to erase the ick-factor.) - Sylocat, on 06/26/2009, -0/+20Especially since we haven't yet found any chemical that is poisonous to mosquitoes but isn't ALSO poisonous to a million other forms of life as well.
- bytor4232fb, on 06/27/2009, -0/+19Rats are awesome. They make kick ass pets, smart as dogs. Loved my pet rat growing up.
- jdandre, on 06/27/2009, -0/+19Are you sure it isn't a Chiuaua?
- edud, on 06/27/2009, -3/+21What? No Perez Hilton?
- inactive, on 06/27/2009, -0/+18Dugg for *****, the friendly tuxedo wearing cockroach.
- wc3452, on 06/27/2009, -0/+17Is that cracked's fault or the meth's fault?
- deathandtaverns, on 06/27/2009, -0/+17DDT was so close to perfect. So close... stupid birds
- DivineMonkey, on 06/27/2009, -0/+17Try riding a motorcycle with a bug in your helmet.
- Llanowar, on 06/27/2009, -0/+16I still vote for the complete destruction of mosquitos.
I really hate those things.
I'm one of those people that truly wouldn't hurt a fly. If I have a fly, wasp, bee, spider, whatever in my room, I catch it and release it outside. If it's a mosquito I kill it with glee. - MrBogard, on 06/27/2009, -0/+16Any insect that sucks my blood is ***** asking for it.
- MrBogard, on 06/27/2009, -0/+16I always use Listerine after a rimjob.
- asgardshill, on 06/27/2009, -0/+15Those bastards at Pixar tried to cute up that roach by making it emit little squeaky sounds. It didn't work - they're still destroy-on-sight around here, along with wasps.
- wraiyne, on 06/27/2009, -0/+14pussy
- Barackalypse, on 06/27/2009, -1/+15I would have thought "politician" or "central banker" would have made the list for sure.
- wraiyne, on 06/27/2009, -2/+16i just spent a whole 10 seconds with my eyes half a centimeter away from my monitor to try and see what you were talking abaut and i found... nothing.
was that what you were trying to show us? because, im feeling a little gay now. - jzhan009, on 06/27/2009, -0/+14perez hilton DESERVES it
- wontonforevuh, on 06/27/2009, -1/+14Dugg for picture of magic card.
- Lefts, on 06/27/2009, -2/+15No, think of the second law of thermodynamics.
Mosquitoes take our energy and redistribute it to the bottom of the food chain, which isn't as efficient as the alternative, starting from the sun to plants.
Arguably though, the alternative isn't as readily available as the parasite. ***** mosquitoes though. There is nothing I hate on this planet more than them. - rl41, on 06/27/2009, -1/+14Well played, PterionFracture...
- tomasmarc, on 06/26/2009, -1/+13Disgusting and true.
- inactive, on 06/27/2009, -6/+17You can get E. coli from licking someone's butt hole.
- netneutrality, on 06/27/2009, -2/+13Spiders.
Not on the list.
Rightly so. - imkookoo, on 06/27/2009, -0/+10I never had one as a pet, but I think rats are cute. I never got why people get squirmy over them. :\
- premiumballin, on 06/27/2009, -0/+10Save the cans!
- Sylocat, on 06/27/2009, -0/+10Dare I ask how you know that?
- Lefts, on 06/27/2009, -0/+9You're already infected with E. Coli.
In any case, the only one that really, really does not belong on that list are mosquitoes.
And then maybe cockroaches. - jack2454, on 06/27/2009, -0/+8cracked FTW
- Tubetrotter, on 06/27/2009, -1/+10How to Catch Mosquitoes
The almost fail-safe approach, with a glass:
Mosquitoes are stupid. If you wait until they are within swatting distance, and startle them with a swipe, they usually hurry to a surface and sit very, very still. Perfect. Get a glass, not too small, and approach the stealthy mosquito very slowly with it. when you're 3-4 cm away from it, quickly cover the beast, which will jump right into the glass, perplexed and dazed. Then you insert a piece of carboard under the glass and turn it over, leaving your container where you see fit for the blood-sucker to die from loneliness.
The grab:
This is trickier, but still better than clapping away at the fiend. Clapping creates a HUGE vacuum (relatively speaking) that tend to blow the insect away, be it a mosquito or a fly. The only tip for you there is that all insects on a surface need to jump-start, so you'll more likely hit it if you clap some centimeters away from where the flying nuisance is actually sitting. The grab is better though, because you use only one hand to catch the assailant in-flight, without creating a vacuum. Once you have spotted the mosquito, keep a sharp eye on it, and do a full squid dinner-snatch. If the first time fails, continue rapidly. You WILL catch that bastard!
I cannot tell you how many winged terrorists I have catched this way, and how secure and confident I feel about myself, knowing how to act under threat. It's been a pleasure sharing with you, so that you too can feel safe. - tspchen, on 06/27/2009, -0/+8am I the only one that has a hysterical fear of mosquitoes ? I mean when i get bitten by one, I feel exactly like a kid having his WoW account taken away...GOD I HATE THEM !!!!
- ceredron, on 06/27/2009, -0/+8amen
- dehn, on 06/27/2009, -1/+8This list should have had the common house fly on it. Those ***** wouldnt leave me alone at lunch today but if you ever say I wish flies didnt exist some know it all will feel the never ending need to tell you that without flies we would be knee deep in your own *****.
- Lefts, on 06/27/2009, -0/+7They should have been, but I guess since spiders usually keep to themselves in dark, uninhabitable corners of the house they don't get noticed as much.
That is, unless your house is overrun with their food, in which case you got bigger problems. - raggydoll, on 06/27/2009, -1/+8you were doing ok till "catched" came up...
- 88dkanor, on 06/27/2009, -3/+10I get freaked out when there's a bug in the car with me. I can't imagine being trapped in an elevator with a wasp.
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