What is Digg?170 Comments
- dtele, on 05/07/2008, -10/+87I COULDN'T BEAR TO BE LOCKED UP THERE.
- RealmDown, on 05/07/2008, -0/+51Remember, you don't have to be faster than the bear, just faster than your cellmate.
- inactive, on 05/07/2008, -1/+47Awww...look at those cute ears. They look just like Mickey Mouse. Oh now he's nibbling my arm...he's so friendly....ow....that hurt.... wait...ow....stop! STOP! Let go of me! AAGGGGHHHH!
- inactive, on 05/07/2008, -4/+46Picnic basket weaving course, full attendance!
- akkibaba, on 05/07/2008, -2/+36 I'm too grizzled to enjoy your joke. We're just polar opposites when it comes to a sense of humor.
- arlok789, on 05/07/2008, -8/+41You ever ***** with a bear? Not fun at all. Crazy friend had one as a pet. Had to get rid of it when the neighbors complained.
- PDF84, on 05/07/2008, -1/+29Wrestle the bear and win your freedom.
- frankingeneral, on 05/07/2008, -4/+31Where's PETA to decry the slave labor being employed here? It should be illegal for this prison to use a bear as a guard. Bears deserve an equal salary...
- yellowfish04, on 05/07/2008, -2/+26What's scarier? A prison guard bearing arms or a prison guard with bear arms?
>,< sorry.. - hankidic, on 05/07/2008, -2/+23I love my state. :-)
Next is a moat full of ill tempered sharks, with laser beams on thier frickin heads of course. - arkboysooner, on 05/07/2008, -1/+18I thought this for sure would be an Onion article. Foiled again!
- sportsbooks, on 05/07/2008, -0/+17The bears would attack people just when they feel threatened by them. But it is a good way to scare the inmates to not escape. I think it would be a good idea to build the prisons in woods.
- inactive, on 05/07/2008, -0/+16You're on to something there. Better yet, let's use the bear for the death penalty. We'll get rid of an inmate and the bear gets a free meal. We all win!
- Haroshia, on 05/07/2008, -0/+16The greatest threat to America guarding some lesser threats to America. Beautiful and terrifying.
- InfidelAl, on 05/07/2008, -0/+16You can get by a dog, but NOBODY ***** with a [bear].
- Ninjapope, on 05/07/2008, -2/+17That's seriously the most bad ass thing I've read all week.
Just need some bear calvary to top it off. - yellowfish04, on 05/07/2008, -0/+13That bear looks very pleased with his new promotion. Probably the photo they took for his badge.
- SuperVepr308, on 05/07/2008, -0/+13Fling salmon and hop the fence. It's worth a try!
- bgrah449, on 05/07/2008, -0/+11Godless. Killing. Machines.
I'm all for it. - BenKenobi88, on 05/07/2008, -1/+11Ok, badassness aside...if I was an escaping prisoner, and I could get past guards with guns, I'd take my chances sneaking past a bear, who probably would be sleeping anyway.
- nekochan, on 05/07/2008, -1/+11or worse, armed bears.
- daizaru, on 05/07/2008, -0/+9Not to mention the guy they hire to humanely take care of the bear.
- elijahalcantara, on 05/07/2008, -0/+9What if they hibernate?
- matschig, on 05/07/2008, -1/+10I've never understood why we don't just build prisons underwater.
- jftitan, on 05/07/2008, -0/+9OK, free food..... the bears get free food. three meals a day, and free roaming of the prison grounds. As for food, it all depends.. Dark meat, white meat, we have some blend in there somewhere.
- Metellus, on 05/07/2008, -0/+9Dugg down so I don't have to think of Austin Powers as old school
- inactive, on 05/07/2008, -1/+9I live in East TN...home of the Smoky Mts....also home to "oh ***** there's a bear in my yard!"
- AngryAngryBrian, on 05/07/2008, -0/+8Back in college I took a class on corrections and part of it was a tour of a med level prison. This prison is in the middle on nowhere nothing but forest for miles around it. This story reminds me of a story the guard told me. Because the vast majority of the inmates come from urban areas they would tell them stories about all the bears, wild cats, and wolves that lived in the woods. Including a story where an escapee managed to get outside the gate and the only thing they found was his hand covered in blood and fur. So anytime a bear or any other creature wonders close to the prison the guards point it out to the inmates. I sleep better at night knowing that the inmates at that prison a deathly afraid of the miles of dark forest that surrounds them and the carnivores and omnivores that call it home.
- jftitan, on 05/07/2008, -0/+8No, because Bears have rights... so if you kill a bear, the bear police will hunt you down. But then again, if we make sure to have two bears on patrol, I think if the inmate managed to kill one bear, he would be to tired to deal with the second one.
Just hope the inmate has a picnic basket in hand. Might only have to deal with one bear. (the not so hungry one.) - Kersius, on 05/07/2008, -1/+9The bear isn't actually being employed by the state, it just lives in the woods that are on the prison grounds. RTFA.
- talonstriker, on 05/07/2008, -4/+12Prisoners escaping will run into berry bad luck...
- directrix13, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7That'd be a hell of a commute.
- inactive, on 05/07/2008, -1/+8You're trying too hard. Fail.
- alpinecow, on 05/07/2008, -2/+9head...hurts...too...many...puns
- RealmDown, on 05/07/2008, -1/+8These are wonderfully unbearable.
- plytheman, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7Something about these pun threads just claws at me until I add to them...
- Dubbsacc, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6If he manages to kill the bear, does he get to live?
- serif69, on 05/07/2008, -2/+8It would certainly give me paws.
- Rotzooi, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6Poor bear.
- ellisgl, on 05/07/2008, -0/+5Next step, get the bear working for the TSA.
- Akintunde, on 05/07/2008, -2/+7...#1 threat to america, folks.
- Kikkoman, on 05/07/2008, -1/+6Kuma vs Inmate
- nekochan, on 05/07/2008, -0/+5nah, the bear's in his habitat and getting free scraps of prison food.
- AndrewDB, on 05/07/2008, -1/+6I guess Chuck Norris wasn't available for rent.
- matschig, on 05/07/2008, -0/+5For some reason i was expecting this to be from the Onion.
- frostieDude, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4Next will be a moat with alligators.
- Abomonog, on 05/07/2008, -2/+6Okay inmates. Here's how you get by the bear. Bring a candy bar or preferably some blueberries with you. When you see the bear lay them on the ground and walk away. While the bear is eating escape. DO NOT put any food in your pockets or you may lose your pants on the way out. Black bears are pretty peaceful but brown bears and grizzlys get pissed easily. I hope these guards realize that these bears can break into that jail anytime they want and will eventually attempt to do it. They are on the grounds because they smell the kitchen. It's only a matter of time before the bears get brave enough to enter it. As anyone living in northern Wisconsin can tell you doors, even reinforced ones, do not stand a chance against a hungry bear .
- FeloniusMonkey, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4Maybe it'll finish what the bear in Anchorman started, and rid this planet of Will Ferrell.
- nickert0n, on 05/07/2008, -1/+5Silly Willy Nilly all stuffed with fluff hes...
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