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Monkey That Works in a Bar (Seriously. In Japan) watch!

youtube.com — "Video of a pet monkey that works at a bar in Utsunomiya City, Tochigi Prefecture. Apparently he learned how to bring things to customers through observation. I ’m guessing that’s also how he learned to dance." - JapanProbe

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  • pentupentropy, on 05/13/2008, -2/+59Seriously, he's probably better than most of the bar tenders around here =)
  • MikeonTV, on 05/13/2008, -8/+3He makes a mean 'Old Fashion'
  • AManWithNoName, on 05/13/2008, -5/+27There's got to be some witty comment I can make about him throwing poo that makes sense here, but I can't think of it right now.
    • Chachuka, on 05/13/2008, -17/+2You're comment is so spoopid. BURIEDD
      • polloconjamon, on 05/13/2008, -1/+3………………………..,-~*’`¯lllllll`*~,……………………………………
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    • ChromaVita, on 05/13/2008, -1/+28Just don't order the ***** mushrooms and you're good.
    • widman, on 05/13/2008, -8/+4I rather suffer throwing of poo than to be unaware of cum or pee on my noodles.
      • Stupidumb, on 05/13/2008, -1/+3Where are you eating?
      • reubencm, on 05/13/2008, -0/+1how did you come to the conclusion that they were your options?
    • Heavypettingzoo, on 05/13/2008, -0/+51 monkey, many many cups.
    • merreborn, on 05/13/2008, -1/+1There's nothing witty about throwing poo.
      • The3xodus, on 05/13/2008, -0/+1You're just not throwing hard enough :)
  • jflowers45, on 05/13/2008, -8/+74customer: "Give me a vodka tonic"
    bartender: "oooh oooh ooh AHHH AHHH AHHH"
  • casspa, on 05/13/2008, -2/+119Do NOT order the Banana Colada, just trust me on this one
    • amanilaenvelope, on 05/13/2008, -14/+4Don't ever make him mad.EVER.
      walked out of the bar with his crap on my face.
    • havocjaw, on 05/13/2008, -1/+0Banana Colada... Not even if a human made it
    • LeeSoong, on 05/14/2008, -0/+1added plus: no deadbeat nonpaying customers, he bites their ears off!
  • strobelite33, on 05/13/2008, -1/+135i wonder if he ever steals sips of people's drinks, gets ripped, and starts hitting on fat girls. cause then he'd just be me.
    • Heavypettingzoo, on 05/13/2008, -4/+1Are you getting drunk off of sips?
  • SeaweedWater, on 05/13/2008, -2/+68I wished it, and it happened.
    • kutateli, on 05/13/2008, -1/+23Japan does not disappoint.
    • hazri, on 05/13/2008, -1/+0Quit hogging the monkey paws, Homer
    • barf314, on 05/13/2008, -1/+2There's got to be a rule for this: "If you can think it, Japan has done it" ...sans erotica, of course.
  • coolian, on 05/13/2008, -14/+121Good to know there's a place for Bush once he's done.
  • ghee, on 05/13/2008, -13/+7What's with all of this monkey business?
    • JakeyG14, on 05/13/2008, -0/+4Haha, good one, Clarence. Now shoot yourself.
  • evan3168, on 05/13/2008, -1/+73the japanese get everything better over there. They get robots and they get technology before us, and now monkey bartenders.
    • getrealnow, on 05/13/2008, -2/+10Its only a matter of time before japan creates flying monkey robots with the sole purpose of taking over the world ;(
      • luckyguy2000, on 05/13/2008, -1/+8I, for one, welcome our new flying monkey robot overlords.
    • michael43, on 05/13/2008, -4/+3But we're going to have the first monkey president!
      • LeeSoong, on 05/14/2008, -0/+1The Soviets were the first to put a Chimp into Space,
        the Americans the first ones to put a Chimp into Office...
  • Rizzen, on 05/13/2008, -5/+79Never change Japan.
  • Dumbledorito, on 05/13/2008, -2/+15If his name is "Caesar," we're all screwed.
    • LeeSoong, on 05/14/2008, -0/+1this is not the end of the beginning,
      it is the beginning of the end
  • HotSaucePanCake, on 05/13/2008, -6/+11That was disturbing...
    • LeeSoong, on 05/14/2008, -1/+1Did you find the Chimp Lacked Faith?
  • blooperspree, on 05/13/2008, -5/+87Japan/Japanese has really become synonymous with WTF and craziness. That's sorta sad. My first thought when seeing this was holy ***** a monkey in a bar?! wtf? then i saw "Seriously. Japan." and I thought o ok that makes sense.
    • synaesthesia, on 05/13/2008, -6/+5Whats sad about it?
    • Oppslagsverk, on 05/13/2008, -0/+1178% of the weird stuff on the interwebz is from Japan.
  • allfatherblack, on 05/13/2008, -4/+90And under that mask; a single monkey tear...
  • brettmurf, on 05/13/2008, -5/+3Haha, the last shot where they say he likes Enka completely cracked me up. That outfit is bad enough on people.
  • frelk, on 05/13/2008, -9/+2I heard that Ross from "Friends" works in a bar in Japan now. Maybe it's his monkey?
  • GDOG5, on 05/13/2008, -4/+129"Monkey That Works in a Bar" .... Sure, whatever mate!
    "Seriously. In Japan" .... ohhhh! well now ill believe you.
  • iusethisforhwk, on 05/13/2008, -7/+5how much do you think he makes?
  • onionbagel724, on 05/13/2008, -10/+4if you drink enough you might get luck with the bartender
  • have, on 05/13/2008, -7/+4how much does he get paid?
    • luckyguy2000, on 05/13/2008, -0/+2a bad banana every other day and no strokes when he works right.
      • amlistener, on 05/13/2008, -0/+0am going bananas thinking about being served by a monkey!!!!!!!!!!!
    • ElAssoWipo, on 05/13/2008, -2/+5He gets to live in fear of his trainer for the rest of his life, never have any kind of social contact with his species and live in a cage.

      What more could he want? Oh and don't forget that he also gets to ***** and piss on himself because he has to wear a diapper.
      • LeeSoong, on 05/14/2008, -0/+1And is that so different from the women working in Asian sweatshops?

        At least the Monkey gets provided his food, uniform and living quarters.
    • rikrak, on 05/13/2008, -0/+2peanuts, surely
  • Harelin, on 05/13/2008, -5/+9That redefines "even a monkey can do it."
  • Chachuka, on 05/13/2008, -11/+1He's a MONKEY! Get it? hahhaha
  • burjzyntski, on 05/13/2008, -7/+2wow.
    i need to learn japanese.
    then i will teach monkies to do cool *****.
    and then i will do something else incredible.
    • uselessaccount2, on 05/13/2008, -1/+6I`m pretty sure you don`t need to learn Japanese to teach a monkey to do cool things.
      • wutimatang, on 05/13/2008, -1/+3Well obviously you don't know the first thing about training monkeys to do cool *****.
      • Murdats, on 05/13/2008, -0/+5you do if they are japanese monkeys.
  • D14BL0, on 05/13/2008, -2/+25"Can I speak with your manager? There seems to be poo in my sake."
    • getrealnow, on 05/13/2008, -1/+17"He" is the manager...
      • Intamin, on 05/14/2008, -0/+1I love the creative methods Digg users use for emphasizing words--since there are NO ITALICS. :(
  • dangsta, on 05/13/2008, -5/+3monkey see monkey do
  • andrewpate, on 05/13/2008, -3/+13I'm currently stationed in Japan, does anybody by chance know where that bar is? I've never heard of it, but would really like to go there.
    • synaesthesia, on 05/13/2008, -2/+9"...a bar in Utsunomiya City, Tochigi Prefecture". Tochigi Prefecture is above Gunma, so 3-4 prefectures up if you're stationed at Yokota/Zama/Atsugi and a few prefectures down if you're at Misawa. If you're on Okinawa, forget it (and screw you guys for always ***** up with the locals).
      • amlistener, on 05/13/2008, -4/+0absolutely riveting comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    • richpav, on 05/13/2008, -0/+8居酒屋「かやぶき」

      栃木県宇都宮市御幸本町４６８８
      TEL ０２８（６６２）３７５１
      http://homepage2.nifty.com/nanato/i/outside/tochig ...
  • bigbill780, on 05/13/2008, -1/+20Banana cognac biatch

    Also...

    "How many monkey butlers will there be?"
    "One at first, but he'll train others."
    • bigmhanns, on 05/13/2008, -1/+4Long live chappelle.
      • FurtThePirate, on 05/13/2008, -0/+4I'm pretty sure that was a Simpson's quote...
        • panteradactyl, on 05/13/2008, -0/+2Affirmative
          • karlhite, on 05/13/2008, -0/+1Affirmative. I poked one; it was dead.
        • bigmhanns, on 05/13/2008, -0/+2Thats a given. "Banana cognac biatch" is however Chappelle.
    • Arcesius, on 05/13/2008, -0/+3"*licks chops*.... I sure can't wait to eat that monkey!"
  • TripleAStacked, on 05/13/2008, -2/+4Excellent! Now i don't have to get off the couch. Where can i get one?
  • zkscelso, on 05/13/2008, -2/+3yeaah, that's borderline messed up.
  • pcslugster, on 05/13/2008, -1/+7it might just be me, but id pay a pretty penny if i got to be served by a monkey...
  • DuffDemon, on 05/13/2008, -3/+2Dude, you didn't have to say seriously - you just had to say in Japan and I would have believed you.
  • urusaiglass, on 05/13/2008, -3/+4Holy crap I totally studied abroad in that city when I was in high school... I never saw that though... but I was there 8 years ago so who knows... I would have loved to see that!
  • chromerium, on 05/13/2008, -3/+68After a hard day's work down the izakaya, he heads home on the train, and weathers more stares and the inevitable pointing.

    Yes, he knows he's different, and yes he knows its a bit strange to see him wearing cloths, using tickets, etc. He pulls out his keitai, dials the wife, lets he know he's on the way home. Even more stares. The locals don't like the weird sounds that he makes .. but his wife speaks his language, and he feels more comfortable talking to her with it.

    Fifteen minutes later, he arrives, and ambles through the station to the exit. He gives the station master a polite nod on the way past, which is acknowledged. Suzuki-san is a good man, they've been to a few ball games together with friends, and he was always polite, never stared or laughed. Always considered that man a good friend. The barrier beeps and lets him through as he waves his pass at the sensor, and he walks out to his bicycle.

    Most people who are used to the daily sight of him getting onto a bicycle to ride home are unsurprised when he does so, though there is the usual gasps of surprise as usual from random people who have stopped to see the travelling monkey show. Its just one of those things you have to deal with daily, when you're different to everyone else.

    He speeds home, dodging some tourists drunkenly staggering along the footpath. He yells at them to watch where they're going, but they don't understand - they're german or dutch or something, and he zooms down some back streets to his small house.

    He's owned the building for several years, though not in his own name as there are still some prejudices against non-japanese owning homes in Japan, and getting a loan without a guarantor are next to impossible. He's managed to convince his boss to buy this in his name. Japanese people are generally honourable though, so he doesn't worry that the man will evict him from his own home.

    Entering the home, he steps out of his sandles, hangs up his coat and hat, walks inside, and hugs his wife, saying a few words. He eats a sparse, cold dinner, eyeing the television, but the program is disappointing. Some stupid game show.

    He sits down at the computer, opens up his bookmark to digg.com and posts a few comments to some of the stories. Being a Gaijin in Japan is a unique experience, and he doesn't think he'll ever tire of it. Working in the Izakaya has been great fun - his japanese has been improving a great deal.

    Mind you, that damn monkey is after his job, that's for sure.
    • Somedude2137, on 05/13/2008, -10/+7TLDR
      • chromerium, on 05/13/2008, -2/+20Wow, short attention span. You kids these days want everything in one line witty comebacks.
        • itsthebrod, on 05/13/2008, -0/+3Time is money, and I'd be willing to bet a lot of Diggers are Digging during work hours...
      • limpits, on 05/13/2008, -0/+3it took me longer to figure out wtf TLDR meant than to read that post.
    • urgan, on 05/13/2008, -0/+10nice
    • luke16, on 05/13/2008, -0/+12I read it, it was good. 10 points
    • superjarvo, on 05/13/2008, -1/+5He's got it made. Only takes him 15 minutes to get to work. That must be a Tokyo record. My JR trip takes 30.
      • chromerium, on 05/13/2008, -1/+2He's not in tokyo, see? :)

        I dunno, I think if you live and work on the yamanote line, you're probably ok. My wife's family were on one of the lines out of shinjuku and coming into tokyo during rush hour on that train sucked, bigtime.
    • jjustice, on 05/13/2008, -1/+3Just as I finished reading this, "Alone in Kyoto" from "Lost in Translation" came up on my iTunes. Spoooooky.
      • chromerium, on 05/13/2008, -0/+1I'm in ur iTunes, changing your tunes to ones that spookily relate to posts that you read on digg!

        Just kind of rolls off the tongue, doesn't it.

        Just wait, I'll queue up U2's "Where the streets have no name" and it'll blow your MIND.
  • slyzxx, on 05/13/2008, -7/+3man i so wanna to go japan ***** awesome there every thing is awesome DAMNIT
    • jongurizzy, on 05/13/2008, -1/+0ive always wanted to too. i'm going to tokyo thursday...i might check this guy out
  • Somedude2137, on 05/13/2008, -3/+51Really not that amazing..... the U.S. already has one running the country
    • BudgingMidget, on 05/13/2008, -3/+1Zzz...
    • bcerz811, on 05/13/2008, -0/+2ah but not a fuzzy adorable one. id give this monkey a hug, bush...eh...not so much.
  • ClarkNoHeart, on 05/13/2008, -1/+4What kind of monkey is that?

    Serious comment; I would like to know.
  • PhilMoskowitz, on 05/13/2008, -4/+6Why is everything so freaking gaudy over there? For a subtle ancient culture they sure lack a sense of reservation with their television programs and advertising.
    • Harelin, on 05/13/2008, -0/+1We're talking about different generations here. Welcome to the new Japan.
  • aserer511, on 05/13/2008, -9/+4This is not a rare sight in the south



    :) just kidding!
  • br0wnstar, on 05/13/2008, -0/+19Marge: Why didn't you tell me you were bringing home a filthy monkey?
    [pours, then drinks a glass of orange juice]

    Homer: This "filthy monkey" made the orange juice you're drinking!
  • jayrok, on 05/14/2008, -2/+4Maybe it's not actually a monkey, but just another insane harajuku fashion statement worn by a regular Japanese waitress.
    *insert maniacal giggling and kawaiiiii screams*
  • lopla, on 05/13/2008, -1/+6It seems quite human like. What is the vatican's stance on this? Will he burn in hellfire?
  • paisit, on 05/13/2008, -1/+3 :) Does he get salary?
  • MrTea, on 05/13/2008, -1/+8and a fetish is born
  • slacking, on 05/13/2008, -21/+1It's 2:00 AM in the morning and i've been out all night. I come home and check a few of my regular sites. See this story. Now i've read all the stuff that usually pops up on digg and read all the related bullshi it comments. 99 % lame jokes, 1 % real discussion. But this story saddens me. A monkey running around serving people in a bar. I'm not sure why this bothers me so much, i guess it's just one more example of how shallow people are. "Hey, let's go to that bar where they monkey brings you the drinks". what a cheap thrill world we live in. Everything is for sale. I'm sure at some point in the future it will be cool to have a dolphin give you a blow-hole job. why not, it's funny right and if you don't get it then you're just not the trendy hipster we thought you were. Wake up people, it's ok to have a little class. Conduct yourselves accordingly.
    • itsthebrod, on 05/13/2008, -0/+5It sounds like you lead a miserable life.
  • sniviler, on 05/13/2008, -2/+6Planet of the apes .......... a reality ?
  • Mist0r_Wiggles, on 05/13/2008, -2/+4Ok, what can't the Japanese do? Seriously, someone should go make that list.
  • 808ethan, on 05/13/2008, -2/+6Japan is the land of the 0.01%. Most all of Japan is low tech and a bit dull. All the freakout stuff you hear and think "Thats Japanese" is so incredibly rare that if this article would suprise more Japanese people than us.

    Not a funny comment, just think some people like to know how stuff works.
    • 1865, on 05/13/2008, -0/+0Very true. Been there many times and the vast majority of it is quite dull and conformist. Fascinating nonetheless.

      Every country has a freakish 0.01%. Just that Japan's seems to get more attention than the rest. Any theorists believe this has anything to do with the American ant-Japaneseness from WW2 and the 80s when the Americans were economically *****-scared of Japan?
  • bowdie, on 05/13/2008, -0/+11Someone needs to notify Karl Pilkington. Some actual monkey news!
    • TheKarmaPolice, on 05/13/2008, -0/+3that's the first thing i thought of! long live the round-headed manc *****!
  • zohaibusman, on 05/13/2008, -2/+1waoooooo. how amazing
    so we need to learn the monkey language to order in this bar??

    First the Robots and now the monkey. Japanese Trends are strange....
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