What is Digg?176 Comments
- jetboyterp, on 07/14/2009, -7/+272EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time... - serif69, on 07/14/2009, -1/+203They even manage to make us put this same story on the front page twice.
- voze, on 07/14/2009, -3/+163I could have sworn I read this same article about an hour ago. Must just be a glitch in the matrix.
- Hyperian, on 07/13/2009, -38/+180I, for one, welcome our new feline overlords.
- diggit83, on 07/14/2009, -2/+91Since they cant actually speak, the desperate meow, then trott to the food bowl is about the only way I will know they want food.
How are they controlling me? I choose to take care of them, when I adopted them.
/shrug - mksmothers, on 07/14/2009, -5/+83I lived with my uncle's for a summer. He fed his cat turnips. I told him I didn't think cat ate turnips. He told me, they didn't...for the first thirty days or so.
- blumer, on 07/14/2009, -0/+71How much like it? Was it the same cat article?
- Rudegar, on 07/14/2009, -6/+74my cat's breath smells like cat food
- s4g4n, on 07/14/2009, -1/+52The bird informant in the safe cage is win.
- snagglefoof, on 07/14/2009, -4/+51Excellent copypasta.
- benderillo, on 07/14/2009, -2/+37I do anything for pussy
- Fleagleman, on 07/14/2009, -0/+31Ever since we brought the baby home, I can say that the cats no longer control anything. And it shows in their behavior. They're much more vocal and more clingy then they've ever been, because they know our attention is not on them. Funny how two little ***** can become doe-eyed cuties in a week's time.
- JinxCrow, on 07/14/2009, -5/+35Pffft...yeah right I'm not controlled by a cat...
*bbrrrmrrreow*
FINE I'LL FEED YOU IN A MINUTE, SHUT UP KITTY. - sfcaptainrob, on 07/14/2009, -3/+33I for one welcome our new overlord thing overlords.
- Lateralis1, on 07/14/2009, -2/+31Your cat is plotting to get you! http://www.catswhothrowupgrass.com/
- DarthVolta, on 07/14/2009, -5/+33FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:RE:FWD: OMG THIS IS SOO FUNNYY FOR CAT AND DOG LOVVERRSS
- CivicTV, on 08/14/2009, -0/+26The brain parasite they give you doesn't hurt either.
- askantik, on 07/14/2009, -5/+31You mean like cat food? Wild cats don't eat processed kibble.
- eKalb33, on 07/14/2009, -0/+26No, Kitty this is my pot pie!
- IllBeBack, on 07/14/2009, -0/+22Re-read the cat part in Stewie Griffen's voice and it will be all the more diabolical.
- hfactor, on 07/14/2009, -5/+24How funny, forcing an animal to eat species-inappropriate food.
- thegreenspanput, on 07/14/2009, -1/+19excellent
- bizzywho, on 07/14/2009, -4/+21dude...
you like ***** cats? - rob132, on 07/14/2009, -1/+16With the new Dupe filter in place? Unpossible.
- marmotjmarmot, on 07/14/2009, -0/+15whoa.
- Sarthax, on 07/14/2009, -0/+14My cat is a scavenger. He loves the fish, beef, chicken, and pork. But I nearly shiat bricks the first time I saw him jump up and steal some broccoli from a plate and eat it. He's also eaten spicy noodles left in a bowl and bread.
Don't tell me cats don't eat "human food" because mine loves it. - inactive, on 07/14/2009, -1/+14i for one welcome our new stopping posts about overlords.
- kingofinternet, on 07/14/2009, -11/+24all our base are belong to cats
- Rain12913, on 07/14/2009, -0/+12Cat food is species-appropriate because a cat can be sustained on a diet that consists solely of cat food. Turnips are not species-appropriate because a cat cannot live off of turnips alone. That doesn't mean that cats won't eat vegetables, just that they can't live off of them solely.
- wiggum1, on 07/14/2009, -0/+12Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!
- eKalb33, on 07/14/2009, -0/+11My cat's name is Mittens.
- OfNumbers, on 07/14/2009, -3/+13This wasn't on the frontpage or anything less than 16 hours ago.
http://digg.com/d1wb51 - Nebarik, on 07/14/2009, -0/+9my kitten prefers to sit on my face, trying to smother me without fail every night
..i wish i was making a innuendo - dang46, on 07/14/2009, -0/+9"The doctor says I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there!"
- Zippo, on 07/14/2009, -1/+10Cool story, bro
- inactive, on 07/14/2009, -0/+9funny, your mom said the same thing about you.
...no wonder. - BaXiK32, on 07/14/2009, -0/+8You have two babies?
- miggie, on 07/14/2009, -0/+8My cat like to steal my broccoli too. The first time she did it I heard a tumb in the kitchen. I go in there and she is still the steamed broccoli I left out to cool.
- Rocketbird, on 07/14/2009, -0/+8You're not asleep. You're on digg!
- inactive, on 07/14/2009, -3/+10Looks like someone just got a clever chain email from Grandma!
- ummmmmmmmmm, on 07/14/2009, -0/+7my cats do control me. my kitten (the one that's in my user icon) never fails to sit on my chest every morning before my alarm goes off. sometimes i'll gently push her off, but she'll come back and sit on my chest until i get up to feed the cats. it's a vicious cycle.
- humptyz, on 07/14/2009, -5/+12My cat master wishes me to inform you that this is all BOLLOCKS and not true! Further, he states that cats want nothing more than for us to enjoy serving... He states that I must go.
- comradeTJH, on 07/14/2009, -0/+6I think I found a similarity with women here.
- antdude, on 07/14/2009, -0/+6It might have been. I'm not sure.
- devila2208, on 07/14/2009, -0/+6try curling up with a warm mousetrap on a rainy day
- ummmmmmmmmm, on 07/14/2009, -0/+6only if they're infected with toxoplasmosis
- AegisC, on 07/14/2009, -5/+10I think studies like this show what a shame it is that we don't fund science more than we do. If the idiot republicans hadn't been in power the last 8 years, we would have found this breakthrough years ago.
- AndrewDB, on 07/14/2009, -0/+5http://digg.com/pets_animals/Cats_Use_Special_Purr ...
... Why is my cat purring at me telling me to digg this though????
Must. Not. Listen. - Sherman901, on 07/14/2009, -1/+6You asked so politely... it's cute.
- kellbell383, on 07/14/2009, -0/+5Principal Skinner, I got carsick in your office.
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