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176 Comments
- jerryjamesstone, on 07/13/2009, -4/+193I would comment but my cat hasn't told me what to say just yet
- hutch619, on 07/13/2009, -0/+175Meanwhile, cat scientists discover "Humans Use Laser Pointer to Manipulate Cats".
- johoshua, on 07/13/2009, -13/+129As for my comment, meow meow . . .meow. . .meow meow meow.
Translation:
I welcome our new cat overlords. - trafficlight, on 07/13/2009, -3/+103My cat just eats a bunch of food and pukes at my feet when she is pissed.
***** bitch. - jrm125, on 07/13/2009, -6/+93power of the pussy
- kennyboy019, on 07/13/2009, -1/+85My 20lb cat will actively try to get me to pet him when I'm in bed or he's hungry. And by actively, I mean he will attempt to massage my jugular vein with his 1/4 inch claws.
- Pash1994, on 07/13/2009, -0/+76FTA: "Asking around, I find I'm not the only one who, if I wake up early, often lie pretending to still be asleep so my cat doesn't start this!"
This is my morning ritual. If I twitch, the purring and head butts start. God forbid my nose starts to itch. - bookelly, on 07/13/2009, -1/+72Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
- ZaZ2137, on 07/13/2009, -3/+71How do you know your cat isn't making you say all of this?
- badqat, on 07/13/2009, -4/+66I have no doubt my kitteh is my master...
- Jones82, on 07/13/2009, -1/+56that's what my 2nd wife did
- doctechnical, on 07/13/2009, -0/+47I have a friend in Detroit with several cats. About 6:00am they enter his bedroom and wake him. He more or less sleepwalks down into the basement where he fills the food/water dishes. Then he goes back to bed. 7:00am, nom nom nom finished, they harass him awake again. Now he has to go fill the bird feeders so they can watch the birds through the kitchen window.
So no, you're not alone. Just pussy-whipped :) - rocknog, on 07/13/2009, -0/+47Translation - time wasted on digg is time that could be spent obtaining cheezburgers for him.
- Jabrams2, on 07/13/2009, -6/+51Cats?? evil little manipulative creatures??? you don't say.....
- KSUdesigner, on 07/13/2009, -3/+43He's just trying to get you to use proper grammar.
- Jones82, on 07/13/2009, -0/+36You're putting the pussy on a pedestal
- zip000, on 07/13/2009, -0/+36My cat doesn't manipulate - she yells at me until I do what she wants. It is very effective.
- doctechnical, on 07/13/2009, -2/+36Pro-Tip: If kitty starts to "play" and doesn't use velvet paws (ie, claws extended a little to far, it hurts), scream. Scream at the top of your lungs. When kittens play-fight that's the universal sign (MEOOOOW!!!) that we're past our safe word. After a short while kitty will know where the line is, and not cross it.
The key is to think like a cat :) - SalmonGod, on 07/13/2009, -1/+34sprinkler system + motion detector
- alanocu, on 07/13/2009, -9/+41I am a slave to my Persian cat. His wish is my command. I'm such a sucker. What can you do though? They lick your face, sit in your lap; the purrrrrrrrrrrrrrring makes me sleepy at night. Oh, god I'm such a loser.
- staffa, on 07/13/2009, -0/+30I for one welcome our ancient cat overlords
- Forgorin, on 07/13/2009, -1/+26pervert
- lemur, on 07/13/2009, -12/+36This article reeks of the typical anti-cat bias that's found in some cultural groups. The main problem here is projecting negative human emotions onto the cat, giving the cat intentions it doesn't have. The desire to "control" and "manipulate" are uniquely human motives, and cats don't experience them because their brains are much too simple. I find it difficult to trust people who actually believe animals can have sinister intentions or other human-like qualities when the vast majority of animals are inherently simple-minded and easy to read.
For example, the relationship between a pet cat and its owner has some social component. If your cat likes you, your cat will express affection by doing simple things such as rubbing against you. Cats typically purr when they are happy, so if your cat purrs because of you it means that it likes you. Cats will also express needs; for example a cat could meow at you if it wants affection, is feeling hungry, wants to go out, etc. Cats can feel and express simple emotions such as pleasure, pain, and desire, but they do not have any concept of manipulation or control; a cat will just learn that if you feed it, it may expect food from you (a reasonable and innocent assumption).
In most cases people naturally adore and care for cats. Cats just happen to make good pets, but the cat didn't plan it that way and if you really think that's true then you have issues. - Megatronz, on 07/13/2009, -2/+25Kitteh used meow.
IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE! - yocouchdigga, on 07/13/2009, -1/+22hey, buddy! calm the ***** down. let's not get hostile in here.
- anotherjack, on 07/13/2009, -0/+21This was the absolute #1 most common thread in garden newsgroups, newsletters, etc.
The short answer is - it can't be done. The longer answer is - Some things may work in some cases with some cats. These methods include: sprinkling or spraying the area with cayenne pepper. Hooking up a sprinkler with a motion sensor, so that kitty always gets a bath. Getting a dog that lives in the yard. Chicken wire underfoot makes them unhappy when walking. And finally, get a spray bottle and fill it with a solution of 1 part "florida water" or other weak perfume, two parts water, and one part your own urine. Cats mark their territories with urine, so a regular application of your own scent on the boundaries of the property will let them know it's yours, in cat language. I've seen people have success with the last method. - santixx, on 07/13/2009, -0/+20Dogs receive food and affection from their owners and think: "They are gods". Cats instead think: "WE are gods".
- bjs3171, on 07/13/2009, -1/+21ew, no.
- rolf, on 07/14/2009, -0/+20@ell0bo
How? Did she kick you out in turn? - doctechnical, on 07/13/2009, -0/+19I've often wondered why the manufactures of "sound soothers" don't include a cat purr sound. Outside of a post-coital drop-off, falling to sleep at the sound of a kitty purring on your pillow is the best way to get to the land of Morpheus that I know
- gizmo12688, on 07/13/2009, -0/+17Trying?
- Maddoktor2, on 07/14/2009, -2/+19Cats rule, dogs drool.
- DoodleMaster, on 07/14/2009, -1/+17Cat BDSM
- staffa, on 07/13/2009, -1/+16To eat rats.
- subtrafusel, on 07/13/2009, -2/+17I have a cat and you're absolutely right, lemur.
From what I can tell the people who own cats that feel/think this way about cats do so as they enjoy the feelings or idea that they are being controlled. It makes them feel secure. That concept makes me a bit ill. Truth is that if anything we are the ones in control of them. I don't let that idea run away with me, though. What I like about cats is that they don't feel so much like children as dogs do (I don't dislike dogs, love all animals). I like cats as they can entertain and take care of themselves whenever they wish as they're not much removed at all from their wild ancestors--they were never bred to be. Dogs are dependent as they were deliberately bred to be so: bred to work for us, to be our slaves to put it bluntly. Cats simply aren't slaves and that's about where it ends... - ftc08, on 07/13/2009, -0/+15merrorwr, rorrw merrow merr arrowr.
- inactive, on 07/13/2009, -3/+16I just finished burying your comment.
- asgardshill, on 07/13/2009, -0/+13Plant some lavender or pennyroyal in there. Cats hate the smell. If you don't want to plant anything, lay some chicken wire on top of the bed. Cats hate walking on it.
- DarkLaughingMan, on 07/13/2009, -1/+14Puppy eyes? Begging? Scratching? Dogs do them too.
- awinters, on 07/14/2009, -1/+13My cat did that all the time and now that I think about it, it did sound like a baby crying. He would do it when he wanted me to get up or when he wanted me to pet him. It was different than the wailing when he wanted food or the sound he made when he would want me to open the window so he could sit in it. I was like his personal servant for 16 years.
- notquitegone, on 07/13/2009, -2/+14That's purrrrrr-culiar.
- hutch619, on 07/13/2009, -0/+12did you decide to go back to the 1st wife?
- d3dm, on 07/13/2009, -1/+13Since there are a number of cat-lovers here, how can I keep my neighbor's cat from crapping in my flower beds?
I don't want to cause harm to the dumb animal, but I'm tired of coming across cat turds when I'm pulling weeds and planting bulbs. Any ideas? - Forgorin, on 07/13/2009, -0/+12This is your best bet.
- zbeast, on 07/13/2009, -7/+18Cat's have no control over me.
Meow, Meow, Purrrr, Purrr.
coming master. - rocknog, on 07/13/2009, -2/+13Ugh, I don't blame 'em. Lavender makes me sick to my stomach. Though to be fair, that's because I associate it with the smell of a week-old rotting turkey because lavender mop solution was used to clean up the putrid juices (my God, that turkey, never encountered such a foul stench in my life - it awakened eldritch horrors deep within my soul, it was so bad).
- Jeepy, on 07/13/2009, -0/+11This story combined with their mind control parasite that affects half the world's population means that the Catacalypse is upon us. Keep your eyes peeled for the feral cat armies. The end is neigh judgment day is upon us. If you can read this, you are the resistance.
http://www.livescience.com/strangenews/060803_tgon ... - doctechnical, on 07/13/2009, -0/+11The solution that tops all others: Strategically situated German Shepard. They're one damned territorial dog.
However, getting your mail on time may be an issue. You take the good with the bad :) - DigDugDigger, on 07/13/2009, -0/+10For wubs.
- enantiodromia, on 07/13/2009, -1/+10to allow humans to create larger and larger food stores to support larger and larger communities which led to the invention of math, money, language, and agriculture.
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