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103 Comments
- bixby1, on 07/14/2009, -1/+71Yes, but how do you defend yourself against a woman with two dildos?
- Myers3979, on 07/14/2009, -1/+54If you have to call the cops when your girlfriend is poking you with a dildo you should realize there's more than one problem.
- c0mputar, on 07/14/2009, -1/+40The alternative is that he physically overpowers her and then she calls the cops and he goes to jail for domestic abuse... because when you have a weeping women on the stand, who gives a ***** if she provoked him with a dildo?
By doing what he did, he'll lose less face then he would have had he reacted like any other normal guy. - whendovescry, on 07/14/2009, -2/+36The guy obviously didn't see Bruno.
- Chakat, on 07/14/2009, -1/+34A friend of a friend was living in Amsterdam illegally a few years back and as such, realized they needed something for personal protection because going to the police to report a crime would mean certain deportation. So, what they did is they went out to one of the local sex stores and purchased the biggest, nastiest donkey dick dildo they could find. Their logic in the matter was that if someone ever did attempt to mug them, they'd pull out Mr Flopsy and beat the person senseless with it. After all, who would willingly humiliate themselves by going to the cops stating that they were trying to mug someone but the person beat them with a dildo?
- davin3000, on 07/14/2009, -1/+25Looks like he wasn't feeling any...
*Puts on sunglasses*
...good vibrations
I've ALWAYS wanted to do that. - DarkShroud, on 07/14/2009, -1/+24Unless you have nanny cams hidden throughout your home you can't defend yourself against a woman unless she's trying to kill you. Even then the Police will grill you like it was your fault. A decent amount of women like to get physically violent with guys despite that fact they'll usually go down in one hit. And our society likes to pretend otherwise.
- DaDrake, on 07/14/2009, -0/+20And you are the gullible recipient of that friend of a friend. But that's just what a friend of a friend told me.
- dougieo, on 07/14/2009, -0/+18yeah, probably gonna get dugg down for that last bit...
- BenBenMan, on 07/14/2009, -0/+17YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
- Snuffs, on 07/14/2009, -0/+16I would bet money that the dildo was his. Thats why she was upset. I should be a detective and detect things.
- CTK14A, on 07/14/2009, -0/+15http://weinventedfun.com/images/uploads/feature_do ...
- cfuse, on 07/14/2009, -0/+15A friend of mine's girlfriend was violent and frequently assaulted him. One day, he was competing at a dragon boat race in front of about 20K people. His girlfriend decided this was a really good time to beat him up - so when she came at him he grabbed her arms - and the whole crowd booed him. So he let go, and after he had let her hit him about 5 times (and this chick was ex-army, so she was *really* smashing him) he grabbed her arms again - the crowd didn't say a word this time.
- benroy, on 07/14/2009, -0/+14If assaulting someone with a dildo is "simple battery"...What per se constitutes "complicated battery"?
- dougieo, on 07/14/2009, -0/+14oh dear, the Yahoo Answers crowd has found digg...
- Sornos, on 07/14/2009, -0/+14What the hell is wrong with you?
- bicyclethief, on 07/14/2009, -0/+13I can already hear the cops at the scene: MA'AM PUT DOWN YOUR DILDO AND STEP AWAY FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND.
- inactive, on 07/14/2009, -0/+12Assaulting someone with anal beads, obviously.
- CTK14A, on 07/14/2009, -0/+11Picture a big floppy dildo in a ziploc bag with 'Exhibit A' written on it
- jasonh1234, on 07/14/2009, -1/+9I heard "beating" and I imagined something the size of a club being swung like a bat and knocking him out and bloodying him up. He got poked in the crotch with a vibrator. Misleading title? I think so.
On another note... Does the news SERIOUSLY need to report what apartment # they live in? That's just wrong. - ZackM, on 07/14/2009, -0/+8This is why they should be kept in the kitchen.
- digiguy, on 07/14/2009, -0/+7Did she wash it first?
- thegamingguy, on 07/14/2009, -1/+8Brilliant reference! Beat me to it.
- gijoe, on 07/14/2009, -0/+7911 tape or it didn't happen
- FitteMas, on 07/14/2009, -1/+8I love a perfectly fitting reference on digg in the morning, it smells like victory.
- B1665r, on 07/14/2009, -0/+7This is why you don't pressure your girlfriend into getting the second abortion. The relationship never works after that.
- bicyclethief, on 07/14/2009, -1/+7He must have been a dick.
- RadiatedAnt, on 07/14/2009, -0/+6I see she found the hidden weapon in grand theft auto...
- B1665r, on 07/14/2009, -0/+6vroom101 has obviously suffered a lolbotomy.
- treminaor, on 07/14/2009, -0/+6This reminds me of GTA San Andreas.
- inactive, on 07/14/2009, -0/+5Give the man some credit. At least he didn't tweet about it like Perez Hilton.
- TheNepenthe, on 07/14/2009, -0/+5I got 5 days in jail when my ex called the cops on me because I hit him with a pillow. I really wish I was lying. But it is a funny story.
- sardiax, on 07/14/2009, -0/+5this.
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1508 - dvsbastard, on 07/14/2009, -1/+6Is it harder than protecting yourself from a woman with a black dildo?
- TyrelVnne, on 07/14/2009, -0/+5At Least!
- str8lazy, on 07/14/2009, -0/+4I dont even need to read the article I just LOL'd
- boardwalk, on 07/14/2009, -0/+4Smells fishy
- s0nicfreak, on 07/14/2009, -0/+4Dildos don't vibrate.
- expert01, on 07/14/2009, -0/+4Funny, I had the same thought when I had an apartment. It's one thing to beat an intruder with your hands, stab him with a knife, or shoot him with a gun. It's a whole new level to humiliate him by beating him with a dildo.
- Swivelstick, on 07/14/2009, -0/+3beating? why not use it properly....
- nikki2300dk, on 07/14/2009, -0/+3Why do they publish her name and address? Does this make her a sex offender?
- ASSASSYN360, on 07/14/2009, -1/+4{Police officer}- Ma'am put the dildo down!
- techdever, on 07/14/2009, -1/+4make yourself a present and learn how to talk, you dildo!
- Napiertt, on 07/14/2009, -0/+3Hatchet Harriet
- shrontzy, on 07/14/2009, -0/+3Don't be such a killjoy.
- sjbdallas, on 07/14/2009, -1/+4At least she didn't poke him in the ass with it.
- decapitor, on 07/14/2009, -0/+3Well there's no coming back from that.
- skipvt, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2That's what they said they bought it for, but actually...
- inactive, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2Did anyone read the comments on the article page? Hilarious. Digg's is better, of course, but...
- uknowwhoibe, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2"Nine times out of ten, it's an electric razor but, every once and a while, it's a dildo. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinate artical A dildo, never your dildo."
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