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- whiterussian, on 07/09/2009, -1/+48You don't know how to use the three seashells?
- novenator, on 07/08/2009, -3/+31I got mobbed by hundreds of schoolkids in Egypt one time, and everyone wanted to shake my hand, ask me my name and where I was from (that's all they knew in English). After shaking furiously for about 10 minutes, I realized I could half the time since I had two hands, so I reached out with my left, and the poor kid who reached out to grab it suddenly recoiled with eyes as big as saucers.
I guess the left is the wiping hand in Cairo. - JoeB4ever, on 07/09/2009, -0/+28One day, a rabbit and a bear are taking a ***** in the woods.. The bear looks over to the rabbit and says, “Do you have problems with ***** sticking to your fur?” “No,” the rabbit said. So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. "
-Eddie Murphy - xenotek, on 07/09/2009, -4/+30DIGG SURVEY: Thumbs up if the proper way to install a toilet paper roll is with the paper coming down over the top rather than behind the back.
- ale8oneboy, on 07/08/2009, -2/+25Pages of books? No wonder literacy took a while to catch on.
If they had Amazon.com back then, the reviews would have read.
"War and Peace, good wiping material, plenty of pages." - drchimp, on 07/09/2009, -1/+22FTA: "Americans, on average, use 57 squares a day and 50 pounds a year."
57 squares a day? wtf - ThatsNotPudding, on 07/08/2009, -2/+21This is the real reason poodles where developed.
- algaeturd, on 07/09/2009, -0/+19Unless you've got a rip in your *****, salt water would actually be good for it. Basically saline, which is used to clean parts of the body anyway. Ever swam in the ocean? Did your ***** burn? If it did, blame your ***** and not the salt water.
- Anifinity, on 07/09/2009, -0/+18He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!
- mst3kcrow, on 07/09/2009, -2/+19Thanks a lot you *****-brained, *****-faced, ball breaking, duck ***** pain in the ass. *Grabs tickets* So much for the seashells. See you in a few minutes.
- algaeturd, on 07/09/2009, -1/+18Seriously. What a *****.
I've had guests stay with me who have gone through a roll in two days. A roll lasts me up to 2 weeks sometimes. I mean, if by the third wipe there's nothing on the paper, chances are there won't be anything but blood after the 20th wipe. - Talphin, on 07/09/2009, -0/+12I wipe my ass with my right hand, so I think it's funny when people get offended when I extend my left hand for a handshake.
- bakedpajamas, on 07/09/2009, -0/+12Trust me. NEVER use cotton balls. Even in a pinch. They do not work. And BTW, why do women buy giant bags of cotton balls, and leave them there within arms reach, if they make such poor toilet paper substitutes?
I'll never understand women. - jwolcott, on 07/09/2009, -4/+15Primitive monkeys, use a bide.
Nothing like a high-pressured jet of water to instantly clean any mess around your hole. Just be sure to tighten up before the act, as there's nothing worse than having that jet of water penetrate you from behind. - algaeturd, on 07/09/2009, -3/+13I guess so. We voted one into the highest office of the land for two terms not even a decade ago.
- Slipin, on 07/09/2009, -0/+9I'd hate to meet those average Americans.
- jesusfish, on 07/08/2009, -1/+10We love our *****.
- thomasisa1, on 07/09/2009, -0/+8corncob?
- RoroCo, on 07/08/2009, -0/+8Poodles are absorbent, but nothing feels as right as a guinea pig.
- skratakh, on 07/09/2009, -0/+8to be honest i just think this article is typical of a lot of american thinking, so many times i've spoken to people from the states that think everything was invented over there when it wasn't, cars, computers, semi-automatic guns, the light bulb, television, powered flight, radar, the list goes on, (for future reference of the things i mentioned cars were invented in germany and the rest are british inventions)
- primatage, on 07/09/2009, -0/+7I think the reviews may already say that.
- JParsons4, on 07/09/2009, -0/+7http://www.jp-creations.net/tp.jpg
Wonder if I'll get dugg down for that. - Demener, on 07/09/2009, -1/+8I cant believe they cut that scene from the televised casts. Best part of the movie.
- gingerbreadMan, on 07/09/2009, -0/+7There is no way that can be true. Every toilet would be clogged continuously
I call ***** (pun intended) - nyxerebos, on 07/09/2009, -0/+6overshare
- nyxerebos, on 07/09/2009, -0/+6It really depends on your gender. Males probably use 3, women apparently eat the stuff in huge quantities.
- itsthemechanic, on 07/09/2009, -0/+6I'm still waiting for an explanation on how to use the three sea shells.
- unrequited, on 07/09/2009, -0/+6I don't know how people don't use bidet's or something as simple as a tub (if you have the tub spout and not just a shower head)... if you had poop on your hand you wouldn't just wipe it with paper and leave would you? Soap & water keeps you fresh all day.
- inactive, on 07/09/2009, -4/+10Because you have the biggest anuses?
- CanadianRealist, on 07/09/2009, -0/+6It's like that in many places in the world. Which is why it is considered proper to only use the right hand when eating.
- BurtCokain, on 07/09/2009, -1/+7ENIAC wasn't the first computer by any measure. It wasn't even the first US computer. I think the Nazi's made the first Turing complete system, the Zuse Z3.
- ubitendo, on 07/09/2009, -1/+7All America-bashing aside, apparently some people can't even get hard without doing so, the bidet is definitely greater than toilet paper. Water cleaning your dirty ass is way better than dry tissue.
- mac888, on 07/08/2009, -5/+11"clean up after the bathroom act."
what is wrong with just saying it? clean up after taking a sh*t, taking a dump, pinching a loaf, laying a turd... - EllimistX, on 07/09/2009, -2/+7Richard Gere?
- TheVirus, on 07/09/2009, -1/+6Why not just say *****? This isn't some Christian website.
- GoldenGlovez, on 07/09/2009, -0/+5Because your suppose to bring your own...
- inactive, on 07/09/2009, -2/+6Aviation:the operation of aircraft to provide transportation
- evilregis, on 07/09/2009, -0/+4And later, America gave us The Comfort Wipe. America, what would we do without you!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfGXmxJ1vM - ViscidGobs, on 07/09/2009, -0/+4A bear and a rabbit were ***** in the woods, when it started to rain. The bear turns around and asks the rabbit:
"Say, Mr Rabbit, does ***** stick to your fur?"
The Rabbit was very proud of his plush white hairy bits, so naturally he replied: "Why, Mr Bear, of course not."
So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt with it. - inactive, on 07/09/2009, -0/+4Although I don't ask anyone, I'm pretty sure no one uses more then 15 squares a day unless they ate something bad o_O
- Swivelstick, on 07/09/2009, -0/+4Damn females..
- DarkKnight5590, on 07/09/2009, -0/+4You only use the reverse way if you have children who would unroll the whole roll.
- bakedpajamas, on 07/09/2009, -0/+3NOW you tell me.
- Ibox, on 07/09/2009, -0/+3was 25 before Taco Bell came about.
- inactive, on 07/09/2009, -2/+5The rest are British inventions huh?
The first TV wasn't made by one person, it was a Scottish man who had the patent, an American who invented the dissector tube and Russian who invented the icon scope of the TV camera tube.
The first powered flight was a hot air balloon powered by a wood fire made by a French man.
The only semi-automatic gun made by British was a musket by James Puckle.
The first Computer was made by Greeks over 2000 years ago. It was designed to calculate astronomical positions http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antikythera_mechanism
Oh and the first radar was invented by a German named Christian HĂĽlsmeye who did get a patent from England, but over the years, people started to think that an English person made it.
Cars were not invented in Germany.
The first automobile was steam powered and made by a French man.
The first electric powered automobile was made by a Scotsman.
The first Gasoline powered automobile was made by a German. - brandnewx, on 07/09/2009, -2/+4From where I live, we firstly use water jet with soap. We then use toilet paper only to wipe our already clean wet ass.
I don't know if I could ever skip the water-jet step when I tour USA. - schrutefan, on 07/09/2009, -1/+3The development of toilet paper in America is directly related to the popularity of bad Mexican food.
- Auto, on 07/09/2009, -0/+2TP is cheaper than Kleenex. Enough said.
- CanadianRealist, on 07/09/2009, -0/+2See:
http://www.poopreport.com/BMnewswire/three_seashel ... - jerbaker, on 07/09/2009, -0/+2There you go with your logic again. Tradition will keep you safe.
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