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The Top 10 Products Only A Douchebag Would Buy [PICS]

toplessrobot.com — #5) A Barbed Wire Tattoo

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  • jonxblaze, on 03/20/2008, -9/+61#1 is my favorite..although I'm waiting for the shirt that says "I love Vaginas" to come around!
    • trogdor282, on 03/20/2008, -3/+4I saw a shirt today that had a picture of a bull and said "HORNY"... close enough?
      • unicronband, on 03/20/2008, -3/+181Comment abuse, but...

        You know what else is a douchebag move? Stealing peoples' submissions.
        http://digg.com/odd_stuff/10_Products_Only_Doucheb ... (submitted 2 hours before this from the exact same link)

        And before you jump on me for being a whiny bitch, this wasn't my submission, I just happened to digg the earlier submission and notice this. I just have an interest in maintaining the quality of digg and get annoyed when "top diggers" reap the benefits of duping "bottom digger's" submissions.

        So go ahead and bury me into oblivion.
        • PueSi, on 03/20/2008, -0/+30Further proof that the dupe filter is worthless
          • otatop, on 03/20/2008, -1/+36It's not totally worthless, it just relies on the honor system, and the "top diggers" don't care.
          • Elranzer, on 03/20/2008, -1/+8Bu..bu...but... zaibatsu needs those click revenues to LIVE!!!
          • SpaceMonkeyZero, on 03/20/2008, -1/+10I wish you could put top diggers on your block list and never see their submissions.
          • h3lx, on 03/20/2008, -0/+5'SpaceMonkey' is brilliant.
        • isewise, on 03/20/2008, -0/+25Not the exact same link, but all the other things you said I agree with completely.
          Check out what I found another "top digger" doing:
          http://38.114.207.18/97c4d505e582e5ad8ffdcb22c7b47 ...
          • PueSi, on 03/20/2008, -0/+22And yet they bitched and moaned when Digg changed the algorithm .
            Top diggers are hurting the community by discouraging people from submitting,knowing they'll never make it to the frontpage.
          • BoneheadFarker, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4Jeez...a thief AND a liar..."bad with computers" my ass...
    • dtfinch, on 03/20/2008, -1/+11http://www.cafepress.com/buy//-/pv_design_details/ ...
      • one1plus1one, on 03/20/2008, -5/+4Those vagina t-shirts would look great if two hot-girls were wearing them and walking down the street.
        • fantasticFlan, on 03/20/2008, -1/+16That could be said about anything.
    • DangerCollie, on 03/20/2008, -0/+21The ones I despise are the "find 'em hot, leave 'em wet" firefighter t-shirts. Most often worn by people who are not actual firefighters. An actual fireman owning one those isn't riding on my team.
    • chewyrunt, on 03/20/2008, -1/+3http://ilovevagina.com/
    • one1plus1one, on 03/20/2008, -0/+29I once saw a dude wearing a t-shirt that said:

      "I'm not a gynocologist, but I'll take a look."
    • JackyJ, on 03/20/2008, -6/+13You know... because Digg is a good indicator of what douchebags would buy. LOL Apple is kool!!!
    • zomgflamer, on 03/20/2008, -3/+2Whats wrong with the sweat shirt. Its your life partner, you betta love it!!!
    • blakeinstereo, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1I've seen a Vaginahollic shirt. does that count?
    • Lord_oftheTrons, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1http://www.mooseshirts.com/product.php?productid=1 ...
    • faskippy, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1My son has one that says: Nice Mammaries!
  • madmondo, on 03/20/2008, -26/+15Great list I've seen plenty of douchebag with this stuff
    • philman467, on 03/20/2008, -3/+31...and I'm guess that most diggers own a bluetooth headset. awkward...
      • dickeywayne, on 03/20/2008, -4/+8Yeah, and I was doing so *good* until I got to that one!

        At least I don't wear it *all* the time. When I'm driving, and for long, boring conference calls at work.
        And it's a tool, not a fashion accessory!
        • LordVance, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2Yup, the driving-while-talking fine in NJ is $100 - and it was just changed from a secondary (meaning they cannot pull you over specifically for that offense) to primary offense. If I have to look like a douche to avoid talking myself into the poor house, so be it.
        • Dokkodo, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3My douchebag neighbor wears his while mowing the lawn.
        • Jonjonr6, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2The only reason I can figure this guy put Bluetooth headsets in there is just for those who wear them all the time. Otherwise, there's nothing douchebag about a headset.
          I thnk most of these "dhouchebag list" writers only wrote these lists is a weak attempt to establish notariety, whcih ironically, makes them douchebags.
          • Inquisition, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2That's my impression as well. I hate seeing those douchebags that wear them as if they were surgically attached. I saw a guy in a rather upscale restaurant wearing one while having dinner with his (i'll have to go with) prostitute.
      • hobbitsareneat, on 03/20/2008, -0/+12I like how you used "douchebag" as a plural. Actually quite funny to read.
        "And over there you'll notice a herd of grazing douchebag.."
    • schrankage, on 03/20/2008, -1/+10ya, let me go hide my axe.
      • Dokkodo, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4Yeah, anyone who buys into the "wear this, get chicks!" campaign is a douchebag.
        • Jonjonr6, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1Actually, my local radio station talked about this not long ago, and there were several girls who called and actually said they like the scent.
          I say, wear it, just don't let anybody know what it is.
    • LostnTransition, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1It seems like a lot of diggers are conflicted as to which items are truly douche in nature. I think the whole list should be set up and people can vote each item from 1 (normal) to 10 (super douche) with another option added reading "Judging someone based on the their watch, necklace, or shirt makes you a complete douche loving *****."
  • OBDriftwood, on 03/20/2008, -25/+32I think anyone with those blue-tooth ear peaces should be required to have the little laser light attachment like Picard had when he got assimilated by the Borg.
    • zaibatsu, on 03/20/2008, -4/+41I've got one but, I use it in the car. so I'm one of those guys moving his hands around wildly while driving.
    • 10001110101, on 03/20/2008, -2/+38Guess I'm a geeky douchebag - the addition of a laser would make me want to buy one.
    • centerblack, on 03/20/2008, -2/+29It's illegal to use a cellphone while driving in California, unless you're using a hands free device.

      I get free calls to anyone who has Cingular/ATT, and the iPhone can conference a bunch of calls together so they're also good for games. As an added bonus, the NSA and ATT spend time going through transcripts of my counterstrike or battlefield games.

      But yea, people who use them while they walk around the store are weird.
      • xL0Sx, on 03/20/2008, -1/+6Actually that law doesn't take effect until July I don't think.
      • z0mb13, on 03/20/2008, -0/+7You might wanna check out ventrilo.com or teamspeak.com . Either of those will be less hassle than using a cell phone for games.
        • expert01, on 03/20/2008, -1/+4But not as fun
        • centerblack, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3Yea Vent/Teamspeak work too. A lot of times I'm only talking to my brother and the cellphone sounds better and requires no button pushing etc. The mode where it waits for you to talk and then starts transmitting drops part of what I say out usually.
      • Sophistifunk, on 03/20/2008, -0/+7Seriously, they actually bothered to make a law, and it says it's fine if you use a hands-free???

        It's not holding the ***** phone that makes you crash, it's talking to a person who's not there!
        • joel8x, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3So true - but if you have both hands free to grab the wheel in a split second emergency it could make a huge difference. Also, you are less likely to move your head around to check the mirrors while holding a phone up to your head.
      • RevJonathan, on 03/20/2008, -1/+3I'm glad I live in a state that respects my personal freedoms.
        • sneezachoo, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2here here.
        • diggrim, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2CA legislatures are also proposing mandatory control over thermostats in citizen's homes (but not businesses)!!!
    • fearlessfx, on 03/20/2008, -2/+19lasers make everything cooler
    • terajoule, on 03/20/2008, -1/+8I want sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads!
    • tangerine, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1I dugg just because it mentioned blue-tooth cyborgs we see running the streets talking to themselves.
      Let's just make it a one-side face mask like Phantom & get on with it!
      • Inquisition, on 03/21/2008, -0/+1I am patenting the design for fake earpieces that just have the little blue flashing LEDs. They would be distributed through Red Cross shelters so the crazy homeless people could talk to themselves and not look so crazy!
  • hokie47, on 03/20/2008, -6/+93I bet the first guy with that tattoo must cry himself to sleep every night. Now I just wish that women would get tramp stamps of Magic Eye games.
    • squishee, on 03/20/2008, -2/+27It's a schooner!
      • dropbox, on 03/20/2008, -2/+13Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a Sailboat.
        • asdfrewq, on 03/20/2008, -0/+10A schooner is a sailboat, stupid!
        • Philbert, on 03/20/2008, -0/+7When will I get to see the sailboat?
          • Dokkodo, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2Never, but you can see her schooner.
        • postalblowfish7, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY! THAT OVER THERE IS JUST A GUY IN A SUIT!!!
    • stonebone4, on 03/20/2008, -0/+33He does, but his tears are made of Gatorade.
    • Sleepfist, on 03/20/2008, -0/+7The thing that's so infuriating about douchebags is that they have no clue that they are douchebags. Also, their behavior is reinforced by dim, trashy skanks who actually allow these retards to mount and penetrate them. No, this guy still thinks he's pretty awesome, and thinks that all you geeks are just jealous because he gets to pound so much vag.
    • kaje, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4You questioning my fanhood? You meet this. That's barbed wire. It goes all the way around. Boop boop boop boop boooop!
    • ogremidget, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1 Tracy McGrady (plays for the Houston Rockets) has a barb wire arm tattoo.
  • MakiMaki, on 03/20/2008, -13/+212Puka Shell Necklaces ... hate em. Easiest way to spot a douchebag, apart from the popped collars and sideway baseball caps.
    • Bukowsky, on 03/20/2008, -1/+49popped collars piss me off more than anything else...
      • vafada, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3same. There a guy in my gym who lift weight with his popper collar on. So annoying yet funny hehe
    • antiorblkflag9, on 03/20/2008, -3/+71Don't forget to leave the sticker on the brim of the hat
      • Ajajadude, on 03/20/2008, -1/+21That's more gangsta-wannabe
        • DarkDx, on 03/20/2008, -24/+4Since when a friggin sticker or a popped collar dictated what we are? Oh wait,, this is digg, what "locatz22" and "uberzdugg" said has to be true, right!
          • AKBryant54, on 03/20/2008, -1/+24You're obviously a douchebag in denial.
          • thedragon4453, on 03/20/2008, -0/+24He's offended because he is sitting at home with his collar popped, puka shell necklace, and sideways hat with the tag on it still.
          • KenCW, on 03/20/2008, -0/+11Someone's looking up prices on barbed wire tattoo removal
          • digitalpencil, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3lol ^
    • digitallysick, on 03/20/2008, -16/+12Popped collars are stupid, but nothing wrong with puka shell neckaces, especially when you live at the beach. Everyone has bead/hemp/pukka stuff on the beach.
      • BoneheadFarker, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Just because everyone's doing it doesn't mean they're cool...




        Wait...what?
    • carpeclunes, on 03/20/2008, -3/+38I sometimes wear a puka shell necklace, but I am Hawaiian and live in Hawaii. Am I a douchbag? I don't know what to believe anymore.
      • selmer, on 03/20/2008, -12/+2If you don't know what to believe about your own douchbagness...well, I'll let someone else finish that one.
      • DarkSamus, on 03/20/2008, -15/+4yes, yes you are
      • fantasticFlan, on 03/20/2008, -1/+21Exceptions given for tropic islanders
      • PueSi, on 03/20/2008, -1/+45You live on a ***** volcano, you're badass.
      • joshhan, on 03/20/2008, -11/+4RTFA ...

        You weren't a douchebag before you posted that comment, but now you are. Congratulations!
      • pedo, on 03/20/2008, -0/+7the article clearly states "Unless you're a Hawaii native..."
      • VargVikernes, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4Who the ***** cares what people think about you. Wear whatever you like and for god's sake, don't take advice from Digg. Most of guys here have pens in their shirts and still need to get laid.
        • LostnTransition, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2Thank you, I'm glad someone said it. Digg has been deluded with this mindless *****. Honestly anyone that judges you simply because your wearing a necklace have your collar up or are wearing a blue tooth (I still think that one is a little weird, leave it in the car) But for ***** sake if your going to judge someone based on their appearance alone. Your a super douche....
      • Bilabrin, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2Puka shells on a hawiian - Not douchey
        Asking whether you are douchey or not - douchey
    • SpookyPig, on 03/20/2008, -0/+7Don't forget being orange.
    • toppgun, on 03/20/2008, -3/+1thats also a bro style.
    • Philbert, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4Sadly these all seem to be things that define my nephew, I've never seen those shell necklaces before, but he wears a lot of gold necklaces.
    • temporaryescape, on 03/20/2008, -13/+1there's nothing wrong with tilting your hat... it's personal style preference - similar to wearing your watch on a different wrist.
    • LogicBomB, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4You may be cool but you'll never be 4-popped-collar cool. (I love that poster)
  • oreonblade, on 03/20/2008, -7/+313A company that makes douchebag paraphernalia should make a shirt with four collars that stay popped. With 'Female Body Inspector' emblazoned on the front. And a barbed wire imprint on a sleeve.
    • robotdrone, on 03/20/2008, -3/+150Made with cotton doused in AXE. And comes in pink only.
      • hurt911gen, on 03/20/2008, -1/+32It also has to be bleached, cost $130 and be made by Abercrombie and Bitch.
      • inverselogic, on 03/20/2008, -2/+3It also tans you as you wear it!
    • InfinitySnatch, on 03/20/2008, -1/+14Now you've just gone too far.
    • Ringwurm, on 03/20/2008, -13/+12And has a built-in bluetooth headset. Can't forget that.
    • centerblack, on 03/20/2008, -9/+6It should also spray tan you while you wear it.
    • zzzpoohzzz, on 03/20/2008, -1/+26oh... damn... i guess i should get rid of that shirt.... that was one of my favorites :(
    • PunkRampant, on 03/20/2008, -0/+7*****, I would buy it for the novelty value.
    • hammburglar, on 03/20/2008, -1/+3my option on the calvin tattoos:
      http://www.flickr.com/photos/22613933@N07/23472773 ...
      • hammburglar, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3that doesnt say tattoos. that says stickers. you read it wrong.
    • Hoogs, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1I would actually buy one and wear it to the mall just to get people's reactions. Maybe hang around outside A&F.
  • tehpwnerofn00bs, on 03/20/2008, -7/+91I'd add to that list: any baseball cap, with the intent of wearing it seriously off-kilter.
    • antiorblkflag9, on 03/20/2008, -2/+51leaving the sticker on
      • isunktheship, on 03/20/2008, -0/+27and the tag, sometimes dangling in your face...
        • MyDiggIsBig, on 03/20/2008, -0/+28and not bending the bill
          • InferiorWang, on 03/20/2008, -0/+8I used to work with a couple guys that did all of those. That crap drives me insane.
          • LordVance, on 03/20/2008, -0/+10That's the one "fad" I just never got back in high school. Why is that "cool" or interesting again?
          • ShinRaTDR, on 03/20/2008, -6/+1"Why is that "cool" or interesting again?"

            Having a not-ratty cap? god forbid.
          • bigbadgoat, on 03/20/2008, -0/+6Ohh, so the only way to have a clean looking cap is to wear it at some obscure angle with the stickers and tags still attached and the bill perfectly straight?

            right.
    • one1plus1one, on 03/20/2008, -4/+9What!? It's not cool to wear your baseball cap like that anymore? Damn... I'm out of touch.

      Well... I guess I'll just drive around in my Trans-Am, wearing a hawaiian shirt, unbuttoned to display a thick gold chain, with my really long mustache, and my big sunglasses, and sideburns, with a beegees tune blasting on 8-track (Nights on Broadway). That will never go out of style. Disco lives. F**k the baseball caps, then.
  • ennTOXX, on 03/20/2008, -42/+8HAHA! Ok that proves it, I'm a Douche Bag people. Nice digg... :||
    • OneLess, on 03/20/2008, -0/+6What the ***** is up with that smiley? I'm seeing it more and more lately, and every time I see it I think it's the Mayan numeral for 12.
      • bjornski, on 03/20/2008, -0/+8It's a channer thing. Kinda like wearing your baseball cap sideways and spraying yourself orange.
    • chrisreynolds, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1ah ***** comments. digg me wherever, I clicked the wrong spot.
      • ophello, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1you know you can just...not type anything or press submit, and it wont post a comment...right?

        you need to experiment more. open your mind.
  • TEHxINTERWEBS, on 03/20/2008, -7/+28If only my state's law didn't require hands free headsets...
    • isunktheship, on 03/20/2008, -6/+68sounds like your state is a douche bag.
      • antiorblkflag9, on 03/20/2008, -6/+1filled with
      • NonLeftistDiggr, on 03/20/2008, -3/+7Definitely, but I'm pretty sure douche bags on digg love what our douche bag state is doing (CA) in general.
        • centerblack, on 03/20/2008, -3/+6Next they can make it illegal to drive while female.

          I wish all people would look before switching lanes.
          • Ajajadude, on 03/20/2008, -3/+2They should make it illegal to drive while rich. Apparently, if you have a lot of money, you must forfeit all common sense.
        • isunktheship, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1after june 08 our state will officially be filled with douche bags *tear*
      • dshigure, on 03/20/2008, -2/+5Who could possibly be a bigger douche bag than someone who drives, on the phone, with a headset?

        Someone who swerves into you, while driving on the phone, without a headset! :-P
    • cquilliam, on 03/20/2008, -1/+9I think this is more geared towards those people that don't use the headsets for driving-only. They're the people that walk into retail stores talking away to someone on there like they're the only person in the world.
      I have one, and I use it when I go back and forth to my parents house (4 hour drive). If i get a phone call on the highway, I don't want to be fumbling around looking for my phone. When I get to town, the earpiece stays in the car.
    • joot2112, on 03/20/2008, -10/+4Is that your ***** excuse for wearing a blue-douche? You don't seem to realize nothing and no one is important enough to require speaking on the phone while driving. Shut up and drive.
    • TheSpook, on 03/20/2008, -2/+1What state do you live in that *requires* you to use hands-free? Does that apply to land-lines too, or just cell phones?
      • selanep, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2Some parts of Illinois such as Chicago requires it while driving and soon California will too
        • TheSpook, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1He/she didn't say anything about driving.
      • wankelrotary, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2A growing number of cities and towns require you to use a headset while driving, otherwise you'll be slapped with a hefty fine.
    • saruyama, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2Maybe you should just concentrate on driving.
  • danjeeva, on 03/20/2008, -20/+7Clearly, whoever wrote the article doesn't know what an acronym is.
    • jthei, on 03/20/2008, -6/+4It's pronounced "Foobie" for instance "The FBI conficated all my kiddie porn" or "thuh foobie kon-fuh-skeyt-ed awl muh kid-ee pawrn"
    • codered1322, on 03/20/2008, -0/+6At first I thought you were way off but then I looked it up. I did not realize that the term acronym was up for debate. From Wikipedia:
      "Initialism originally described abbreviations formed from initials, without reference to pronunciation. The word acronym was coined during the mid-20th century for abbreviations pronounced as words, such as NATO and AIDS. Of the names, acronym is the most frequently used and known; many use it to describe any abbreviation formed from initial letters. Others differentiate between the two terms, restricting acronym to pronounceable words formed from components (letters, usually initial, or syllables) of the constituent words, and using initialism for abbreviations pronounced as the names of the individual letters. In the latter usage, examples of proper acronyms would be NATO and radar, while examples of initialisms would include FBI and HTML."
      • bjornski, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3I didn't know that either, cool. Thanks.
      • Elranzer, on 03/20/2008, -5/+2And the accuracy of Wikipedia is NEVER up for debate. Especially when edited by an Internet full of people who can't tell the difference between its/it's and there/their/they're and your/you're/yore.
  • mjpanzer, on 03/20/2008, -10/+216"If someone asks if you watch 'Lost,' and then gets all bent out of shape when you reply 'no.' THAT is the definition of a douche-bag" -John Mayer

    **To anyone who is thinking about replying "you're a douche-bag for quoting mayer," I am aware, so please don't waste your time.**
    • DeathJux, on 03/20/2008, -48/+12You're a douche-bag for being aware of your own douche-baggery for quoting John Mayer.
    • NonLeftistDiggr, on 03/20/2008, -3/+36FK that, you ever heard past his popular stuff and heard him play the blues on that stratocaster? Douche bags can't do that.

      But you're still right.
      • zzzpoohzzz, on 03/20/2008, -0/+19i was gonna say about the same thing... the john mayer trio cd was pretty freakin sweet... hes an awesome guitarist
      • cjmal, on 03/20/2008, -1/+21John Mayer is hardly a dochebag. Quite the opposite.
      • themanflounders, on 03/20/2008, -0/+9Continuum is amazing too. He's freaking hilarious too if you've ever caught him in an interview.
      • codered1322, on 03/20/2008, -0/+11Him wearing a bearsuit around a parking while people tailgate before his show. It is really funny.
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXUi93hbPq8
      • bigtommy20, on 03/20/2008, -15/+1nothing more straight than a bunch of guys talking about how cool/awesome john Mayer is... unpop your collars and find your balls gentlemen.
        • cjmal, on 03/20/2008, -0/+10homophobe much? And the day I start wearing a popped collar is a day I get one of those stupid barbed wire tattoos mentioned in the article.
        • Dokkodo, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3Homophobic is another big sign of being a douchebag, and/or being in the closet.
        • NonLeftistDiggr, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2sure BIG TOMMY, whate ever you say.

          digger with Big in his name = douchebag
    • isunktheship, on 03/20/2008, -6/+40John Mayer isn't a douche bag quite yet, but his current level is "ass-clown"
      • purelithium, on 03/20/2008, -1/+10John Mayer will never be a douchebag, after his hilarious parody of Two girls, one cup. Hilarious.
      • xXIrsotehkewlXx, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1He can be a douche bag. I'd still hit that.
    • getisboy, on 03/20/2008, -3/+3Lost rules so we are justified.
  • MODAT, on 03/20/2008, -40/+68Everytime I see someone wear a bluetooth headset, I want to punch them
    • centerblack, on 03/20/2008, -12/+123At least we'll have our hands free to knock you the ***** out.
    • kurtwinter, on 03/20/2008, -7/+94Because wanting to punch someone for wearing an electronic accessory is a great way to prove to the world that you aren't a douche.
      • ShinRaTDR, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4Right, that should be reserved for things that more than half of the digg populace have informally agreed are qualifiers for the title of "douchebag". Just in case your catching up:

        Popped collar/baseball cap/anything remotely from hiphop culture that can be made to seem that white people have "stolen" it + mentioning their imminent punching = digg up

        People who use some form of technology + mentioning their imminent punching = moral lecture.
    • psykiv, on 03/20/2008, -3/+11Personally I hate the damn things. However, I know a few business people that spend *ALL DAY* on their damn phones. We're talking people who consistently use over 5,000 minutes a month. Having a bluetooth headset is pretty damn useful to them. Holding up a phone for that long is a pain in the ass.
      Personally if I'm by myself (like in my car) i just put the phone on speaker and in my shirt pocket.
    • one1plus1one, on 03/20/2008, -3/+7I'm having trouble getting used to the idea that there is no microphone in front of my mouth.

      The mic. is against my ear... I don't talk with my ear... I talk with my mouth.

      (I know I know... it picks up the bones vibrating or something like that) but it just feels weird talking like that -- like I'm talking to the air, or to myself.

      I need an object in front of me, or in front of my mouth to talk to.

      I'd prefer a star-trek like communicator pin on my shirt -- that way I could aim my mouth kinda downwards like I'm talking into something.
      • Orb9, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2Well, just shape your hand like a microphone and talk into your hand next time you have your ear piece in.
      • gmiley, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Pretend you are talking into one of your front teeth. Problem solved.
      • bjs3171, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2because your chest is much closer to your mouth than your cheek?
    • gmprunner, on 03/20/2008, -5/+4Then you have some serious anger management issues. Don't hate me cuz you ain't me!
    • yacks, on 03/20/2008, -0/+5Personally I only use my bluetooth headset at home or in the car.. If i'm shopping I don't talk on cellphone unless I need to ask someone something.. and I cant stand speakerphone.. being on it or using it.
    • Kzoo, on 03/20/2008, -1/+3I don't go quite as far as wishing to be violent... but I do hate those things. There's a time and place people. It's generally -not- wherever I see you. It -is- possible to put it on when you do need to use it.

      I see a lot of these at the zoo where I work. To those people (and people on phones in general there) I want to say get off the phone and go have a good time with your kid! How do you think your 5-year-old feels when you're supposed to be having fun together and you spend the whole time with someone else?
    • TBBucs, on 03/20/2008, -2/+5The thing about bluetooth headsets is that it automatically answers calls for you. I don't know about everyone else, but there are quite a few times where I check the caller ID and decide to ignore the call.
      • havokdu, on 03/20/2008, -0/+5They only do that if you set it that way. Some headsets like Plantronics have an answer button.
    • WikiEasy, on 03/20/2008, -1/+5Do it.
    • KenGHarrison, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2They're especially useful if you're in Sales. Fact of the matter is that time that you'd normally waste driving from one customer to the next becomes really efficient since you're actually able to make and answer calls while you drive. Just make sure you take it off before hitting the mall.
    • FecalHurler, on 03/20/2008, -1/+4Yeah I hate accesories that make my life easier too... Like cars and computers.
    • coldeve, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1I especially hate people who use bluetooth headsets while holding their phones in their hands at the same time. You only have to lift your arm up a little to put the phone next to your ear. Is that so hard!!??
      • dood, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Having your hand and phone up next to your head can block some of your peripheral vision, which is useful while walking around.
    • Akraz, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3I missed the point on whats wrong with bluetooth headsets?
    • TheSpook, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1Did you give the headset a try? Imagine driving to the convenience store in your General Lee to get your Colt 45 fix, not having to take your hands off the wheel to answer your wife's last-minute request for some Wintergreen Kodiak!
    • OSU09, on 03/20/2008, -1/+0I think it's stupid when people walk around with it in their ear, yet are not even on the phone. Or like the article said, people who are dirt poor have the bluetooth. I mean, I can buy a phone for free with a bluetooth, it's not an expensive product anymore.
      I think bluetooths and people who use them are probably #2 in my book of douche bags. Of course, #1 being popped collars frat boys! :)
    • bjs3171, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1me too, and one of my best friend constantly has one on.
    • DoShurikn, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1You might also be interested in the fact that it's now illegal in Quebec(and maybe Canada) to talk with a cellphone without hand free device in your car. Which, I believe make it a good reason to purchase one... but not to wear it all the time
  • nico623, on 03/20/2008, -10/+47AIDSBurger in Paradise.
    • antiorblkflag9, on 03/20/2008, -1/+16that's kinda unrelated
      • niteskunk, on 03/20/2008, -1/+15It's a formula he's following, my good man. Pop culture references and/or popular phrases = a way to get dugg up. For other examples, see "***** the RIAA' in articles about the Olympics.
      • tapeworm77, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3He pulled a Family Guy.
    • supremebeing18, on 03/20/2008, -8/+3***** YOU JIMMY BUFFET, YOU ***** SUCK!
    • micahwilli, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1I laughed so hard reading your comment I had a hard time clicking the "thumbs-up" button
    • thejumbo, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3Actually, Jimmy Buffet ANYTHING is a good indicator of douche-i-ness. ***** those people and their ***** 'island' mentality. Bunch of uncultured tools who think Destin, FL, is fukkin paradise.
  • Peko, on 03/20/2008, -17/+3Article is fail, since I do not have any of these items.
    • isunktheship, on 03/20/2008, -3/+11admitting you're a douche bag?
      • hiroyukibatosai, on 03/20/2008, -3/+1You must be a douche bag then.
  • shadus, on 03/20/2008, -31/+15Most of it indicates nothing at all. It's like a list of things the author didn't like... shrug. Epic Fail. No Lulz. Buried as lame.
    • chrispeters, on 03/20/2008, -2/+27I'm betting you own at least 5 of the 10
  • keviniskool, on 03/20/2008, -3/+182All they had to do was step in a New Jersey nightclub and the article practically wrote itself.
    • onionlayer, on 03/20/2008, -1/+8So unfortunate for my state
    • UNDERSTAR, on 03/20/2008, -1/+7God, I wish I can move out of Jersey!! *weeps*
      • njhardc0re, on 03/20/2008, -4/+0good leave, no one wants you there
        • starkruzr, on 03/20/2008, -0/+9Your nick makes you an automatic douchebag.
    • triskele, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3Sadly Long Island suffers a similar fate.
    • njhardc0re, on 03/20/2008, -3/+0Plenty of douchbags yes, but a good amount of hot girls... more than ive seen in any other states ive been in.
    • mbgalvin, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1New Jersey has nightclubs? You mean strip club?
    • starkruzr, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2http://www.njguido.com/

      The worst part is that they take clubbing as VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS.
  • jrattner1, on 03/20/2008, -29/+5Author: People who buy watches with big faces are ballers. Although I agree with your bell curve comment, you need to accept the fact that some people have, and are willing to, flaunt the money they have in the form of worthless consumer items.

    So step your game up, watches with big faces aren't for DoucheBags but rather for Legends, and the rich
    • isunktheship, on 03/20/2008, -1/+14more like legendary douches...
    • NonLeftistDiggr, on 03/20/2008, -1/+6or people that should be buying food and clothing for their kids. Except for the disabled, worthless material ***** is the reason my half and my "employer's half" of social security is taken out of every pay check
      • CobaltBlue, on 03/20/2008, -3/+1Yeah, those old people and their worthless material ***** like food, heat and shelter.
    • zzzpoohzzz, on 03/20/2008, -0/+8just because a watch has a big face doesnt mean it's expensive...
    • Jacob, on 03/20/2008, -0/+6The rich generally will get smaller more streamlined watches. Usually costing them way more than the giant watches cost. Just because it's big and gold doesn't mean that it's for the rich, unless they are rich d-bags.
    • kram87, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Agreed. I have a very similar watch to the one in the article except its a different model number and it looks fine on me. It really depends on the size of your wrist that determines whether or not the face of the watch is too big. Whoever is wearing that watch in the article has very tiny wrists.
    • Chromatik, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Let me guess, you re the ***** that makes generic gang signs in pics you take of yourself on your cellphone too right? Thug life for realz yo. Please go kill yourself and spare the rest of us from your rampant and blatant douchebaggery. You and all of your ignorant ilk should be put out of my misery.
  • SpaceDreamer, on 03/20/2008, -7/+127... and the Hummer
    • antiorblkflag9, on 03/20/2008, -4/+7Should have been number 1
    • rand0mm0nkey, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1Was waiting for someone to say that one.
    • absurdist, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2Hummer or hummer?
    • theycallmebubba, on 03/20/2008, -4/+5Here in SD (Idk what the statistic is elsewhere), we've got a HUGE number of guys driving trucks that are sixteen times the size of a typical household, and have more lights on them than a professional stadium. THEY are douchebags. Them, and anyone else who feels it's necessary to drive around at any given time of day with your brights on...
      • one1plus1one, on 03/20/2008, -1/+6You should purchase bumper stickers that say:

        "The larger the vehicle, the smaller the penis."

        and slap it on all the Hummers in your area.
    • TnTBass, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2No, a hummer is kind of a cool vehicle (the real hummers - the ones where you can run over multiple people without feeling a bump). However, the H2 and H3 definitely fit that description.
      • serif69, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Driving an H1 as a regular citizen on public roads makes you King of the Douchebags. Driving an H3 makes you Princess of the Douchebags.
        • wiggimt, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1What does driving an H2 make you? Black?

          /apologizesforracistjoke
  • PolishLogic, on 03/20/2008, -3/+28Not one mention of vinegar anywhere.
  • rrny, on 03/20/2008, -21/+0I love my Penis.
  • chrisinsocalif, on 03/20/2008, -4/+48Damn, I have two of the 10, I am part douche bag. The truth hurts!
    • D3koy, on 03/20/2008, -6/+30I think having even one makes you a full on douche
    • sealhands, on 03/20/2008, -1/+39the fact your name says "socalif" is another indicator. you need an intervention
  • Llanowar, on 03/20/2008, -2/+41Haha, hilarious, My brother swears by Axe. I'm so gonna have to show him this.
    • InfinitySnatch, on 03/20/2008, -6/+21Oh man, this should sure change his perspective.
    • lualaura, on 03/20/2008, -4/+36Actually ... I like the way Axe smells despite the annoying commercials.
      • Pake, on 03/20/2008, -3/+15Agreed. It smells no worse than cologne and it cost MUCH less.
    • njhardc0re, on 03/20/2008, -4/+4Axe basically shouldnt be on there.
    • cruzweb, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Yah I don't think axe belongs on this list, and I know that because despite the garbage commercials, I get a good response wearing it. The product works, end of story. They should have had pink polo shirts on there instead.
    • ZanCakes, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1I don't know, my encounters with men who wear axe has... lets just say been different. For instance, I was walking to work and this guy passes me, takes a container of axe out of his pocket, sprays himself and looks back at me as if he's expecting me to be ripping my shirt off in lust for him. I think he was an abnormally large douche bag though - almost 4 popped collars cool.
  • Rammy912, on 03/20/2008, -42/+54whoever made this list is an idiot. axe isn't douchebagy, neither is a watch wit a huge face, or a bluetooth headset.
    • hiroyukibatosai, on 03/20/2008, -14/+91Are you sure your not a douche bag?
      • TheSpook, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1I love it when people degrade others and do not take the time to spell correctly. :D
    • bagelmaster, on 03/20/2008, -14/+8The watch and bluetooth headset are definite yeses. Maybe not axe, since that just makes you not smell like ass. Like after gym class in high school... everyone used it. Well, everyone with friends anyway.
    • cliffzdude, on 03/20/2008, -2/+59Covering up the smell of ass with Axe doesn't mean you've eliminated the ass.
    • gmprunner, on 03/20/2008, -10/+10I agree, this list is pretty dumb.
    • zeiben, on 03/20/2008, -1/+7sounds like somebody wasn't able to cancel their hanging truck balls order on e-bay....
    • icebrk, on 03/20/2008, -7/+2I couldn't agree more. Although this surely opens me up for being called a doucebag I happen to LIKE the smell of AXE and as long as you don't take the Ads seriously, they sometimes can be pretty funny. And what's with hating on Breitling? I paid good money for mine and having come from a family of Pilots felt pretty good about being the first one to be succesful enough to afford one, plus I think it looks cool. Being a douchebag isn't always about what you do but rather why you do it. If you want a good douche-bag video check out: http://shizzville.com/video/stop-douchebaggery!
    • keithc01, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2Yeah, I own a big watch and my mom puts Axe in my stocking every year. But I am definitely kind of a douch bag, especially when I'm drunk. But I'm not a fratty, popped collar, self-important douch bag. Bluetooth headsets are fine IN THE CAR. But nowhere else.
    • bjs3171, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1the big watch thing I have no problem with. Puka shells and axe, though? no.

      oh, and i've never seen balls on a truck, but i would surely kick them right off if i ever saw them.
  • mikeynez, on 03/20/2008, -19/+29311) A Nickelback CD.
    • soupnrc, on 03/20/2008, -4/+10A true sign of douchebaggery
    • 01001001, on 03/20/2008, -10/+27Any Creed CD
    • one1plus1one, on 03/20/2008, -10/+7Any Celine Dion CD.
      • Philbert, on 03/20/2008, -1/+12That's gay, not douche bag
        • Darkhacker, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1It makes you gay douchebag. The gay community has it's own little set of standards for douchebaggery; Celine Dion and Mariah Carey music, frosted hair, talking with a lisp, etc. It's an unfortunate fact that when the media talks about gays and when people think of gays, they think of the gay douchebags rather than the normal ones. Not all gays act like that, just like not all straights wear puka shell necklaces with polo shirts.
    • Villp, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4That would be #0 actually...
    • inverselogic, on 03/20/2008, -2/+9Any CD....
    • moletimer, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2It's....not mine. Someone put it there, I swear.
      • SpiraetSpera, on 03/21/2008, -0/+1"Rap. Metal. Rap. Metal. Whitney Houston."
        "It's for my girlfriend."
    • Abjure, on 03/20/2008, -3/+4Any Coldplay CD
      • Darkhacker, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2I like Coldplay. =/
      • soupnrc, on 03/21/2008, -0/+1Yea, Coldplay is a really good band. They write some good tunes.
    • shadowfoxmi, on 03/20/2008, -3/+1gay douchebags!!
    • dpazar2, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Photographhhhhhhhh (in drawn out choppy "fake" low voice)
  • AndrewDB, on 03/20/2008, -7/+82I think the people who buy the balls for their trucks are just putting something on their truck that they lack in person.
    • expert01, on 03/20/2008, -0/+22First time I saw those on a truck I asked someone what they meant; I was told the person driving the truck probably took it in the ass.
    • doronster195, on 03/20/2008, -3/+9I just thought that it would be a funny thing to have on a a car... I guess I'm too simple minded... (I don't have balls on my truck, but I don't see the douchebaggyness in it.)
    • SRSco, on 03/20/2008, -2/+16I remember seeing those stupid balls here on Digg and I was like "those balls are stupid" and everybody buried the ***** out of me. I wonder how many of you buried me then but dugg this up?...Douchebags.
      • ronaldinho, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1who buried the ***** out of you? I don't know, out of all those things on the list, fake balls on your vehicle has to be worst offender that indicates your douchebaggery
        • expert01, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Well... fake balls in your boxers...
  • cheesypasta, on 03/20/2008, -6/+13Big Johnson t-shirts
  • Cyrus042, on 03/20/2008, -16/+4Californians are allowed to wear Puka shell necklaces too as far as I'm concerned.
    • damndj, on 03/20/2008, -9/+19California is full of douchebags.
    • centerblack, on 03/20/2008, -0/+6Careful, CA is already getting a lot of ***** over the Bluetooth headsets.
    • praisethelard, on 06/06/2008, -2/+4Only if you surf.
  • seantubridy, on 03/20/2008, -4/+91For some reason the Bluetooth headset bugs me the most. You're eating dinner. Take the ***** ear piece out!
    • 6minuteabs, on 03/20/2008, -0/+30That's the distinction right there. If you're on the phone, fine. If you're like my friend walking into my house, sitting down, and still having the ***** thing on 20 minutes later like a piece of jewelry, you are in the same camp as my douchebag friend.
    • cdubd, on 03/20/2008, -0/+15It is so ***** true. I always see some fat dude with a mustard-stained white t-shirt, basketball shorts, and mangled skate shoes wearing a bluetooth head set. If you aren't in a car, there is no reason to use it. How many people receive so many calls that it becomes too difficult to just hold the phone to your ear? I even see kids in my classes wearing them...in class.... people never take them off!!! It drives me insane!!
      • FlyingSpaghetti, on 03/20/2008, -3/+3The only thing worse than a wireless earpiece is a wired one. Yes, there are still douchbags walking about with a wire hanging from their pocket to their ear.
        • akschnare, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3Jason Bourne used a wired earpiece. Are you saying Jason Bourne is a douche bag?
    • linagee, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3It's stuck! lol.
    • srdrums, on 03/20/2008, -0/+5Yes, big difference. I understand someone who's doing business during the day and they're driving around, but I swear I've seen people at a symphony concert with the bluetooth headset still attached. Damn bluetools.
    • snotrokit, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1while not necessarily a douchebag, worth a mention are the people who drive around with full freakin headsets with gigantic boom mikes on em. Crack me up everytime. They look like a time life operator in the 70's.
      • nextyoyoma, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1where the ***** do you live? I've never seen that.
    • AdamWest2122, on 03/20/2008, -2/+1I find these replies ironic since it seems just a few years ago people were saying the same thing about cell-phones in general. "It's fine if you are a businessman and can't miss a call but anyone else should just use a payphone." and now that cellphones are standard it is the earpiece that is under attack.

      The simple rule I use is, if you saw two people talking to each other physically, would you be against it? At a movie for sure, at a restaurant probably not unless they were being loud, etc. Now why is it suddenly horrible to do it electronically? Two people in a store discussing which brand of chicken is the most free-roaming, or one person talking on their cellphone to their spouse about it.

      So cellphones don't seem so evil, they are just a way of talking in the modern age, where we can deathmatch with people across the ocean like it was a local lan party. So cellphones are not stupid, but walking around with a plastic device pressed to your face trying to do whatever you are doing one handed is smart, but a wireless earpiece freeing both hands is seen as being a douchebag? No, I'm sorry, earpieces are smart (and no I don't own one), walking around one handed is what is stupid.
      • Darkhacker, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1"just a few years ago people were saying the same thing about cell-phones in general"

        We still do. It's all in how you use it. Remember that Family Guy episode with the guy in the elevator, "you wanna pick me up?.... you wanna pick me up?". That still exists today. It didn't go away. I still see people on the cell phone dictating everything they're doing. "Yeah, I'm at the grocery store, looking at bread. This one is too stale. Oh, this one is good" and that goes on the entire time. Their counter-part is probably those people I see in public with a cell phone up to their ear who only say "yeah, cool" about once every twenty minutes and are silent the rest of the time.
    • HotBaconSauce, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1Go go Larry David http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/clips/how-to-deal-with- ...
    • truthhurts28, on 03/20/2008, -1/+0i believe that most people wear them to look important. Or they want you to think that they have money or something.
  • dizilbdog, on 03/20/2008, -4/+13Ahh I like my G shock watch and my Jawbone headset...
    • UNDERSTAR, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2***** you all who hates on the Casio watches!
    • bjs3171, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2G-Shock isn't that big. not small, but there's much bigger.
  • NonLeftistDiggr, on 03/20/2008, -13/+8Hmmm the Seattle water article reminds me of another one,.... bottled water (except at a gas station, remote area,... blah blah blah)

    How about any clothing that cost more than what is sold at target?

    PS Blutooth headsets or equivalent are going to be required by summer if you live in CA and want to use the cell phone in the car.... and no, not all of us get all retarded about driving when a call comes in. Outside of the car... bluetooth ear piece = douchebag
  • ravan46, on 03/20/2008, -6/+369Using a bluetooth headset doesn't make you a douchebag. Wearing it *all* the time does.
    • Ipwnyou, on 03/20/2008, -1/+50Agreed. I wear one when I drive but want to punch people who wear them in public.
      • dn11, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2i'm detecting a theme here
      • DrDash, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2As an avid driver I wear one when driving... and really isn't that what they ARE for? I drive a manual (of course) and need both hands. I am also a big believer that hands free of any kind helps you concentrate more on driving.
    • thedragon4453, on 03/20/2008, -3/+4I would argue that if you are planning on using your bluetooth headset outside of the car, and you DONT wear it all the time, you are an idiot. there is nothing funnier than seeing someone fumble around for the headset when a call is coming in instead of just picking up the phone.

      That said, I usually do wear my headset a lot. I have a 10 month old, so it is much more convenient to take calls and still be able to pick her up with both hands.
      • Rotzooi, on 03/20/2008, -0/+6DOUCHEBAG!
      • RachaelMichele, on 03/20/2008, -2/+2Thank you! I have a 7 month old and a 22 month old and my headset is a lifesaver sometimes. My hands are always full! That being said I would never wear it to dinner.
    • mapkinase, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2Especially when they see them in the places of worship. You are talking to God, for God's sake, leave it in your car together with your Hava Nagila mobile phone!
    • WarMachineWCLH, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2Thank you, I was going to say that if you didn't. I wear it when driving, you try driving a manual transmission without it. While possible it's not exactly fun. In fact my bluetooth pretty much stays in my car all the time.
    • joel8x, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1I wear one during most of the day while I'm working because being on the phone is a huge part of my job. I do think that worrying so much about other people's preferences makes you more of a douche. In fact I'm pretty sure that whoever wrote this article is one of those kids who remained a virgin until his 20's because he was too afraid of what other people might think of him if her were seen with any girl besides Natalie Portman.
  • NDUO, on 03/20/2008, -1/+6And what do you buy a douchebag that buys this stuff? Obvious: http://www.mailadouche.com/
  • DeepFriedFetus, on 03/20/2008, -0/+16"Tell you what Bruno, when you come back with a real barbed wire on your arm, I'll squeeze that ***** on real nice and tight for you."
    - George Carlin (though horribly paraphrased)
    • Shawn4168, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2I have a friend at work that got so sick of the barbed wire tattoos, that he actually converted the phrase "barbed wire" into binary and had THAT tattooed around his arm. Geeky yet amazing.
    • BrewBeau, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Good one. In that same bit, he talks about the muscle shirts as well. "You know what you smell like? You smell like an anchovie's *****" - Carlin
      • DeepFriedFetus, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2My favorite line from that bit: "These macho guys think they're real *****' cool - well listen skeezex, you ain't cool, you're ***** chilly. And chilly ain't never been cool."
  • cal5k, on 03/20/2008, -23/+7Does it strike anyone that declaring people to be Douche Bags is a pretty douchey thing to do?

    Get a life. The world does not wait with bated breath for your approval.
    • themanflounders, on 03/20/2008, -11/+6Totally agree
    • meells, on 03/20/2008, -3/+2'bated breath sounds a little personal,.......but baited breath isnt much better i guess. Misspelling overlooked.
      • one1plus1one, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1What is "baited" breath anyways?
        • meells, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1it refers to the same idea as baiting a hook.....you are caught by an idea, and you catch your breath waiting for the resolution...your breath has been baited. Not the greatest idiom, but there ya go.
    • Shenanigans, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1Nobody likes to look at themselves when they make fun of other people.
  • bingobongony, on 03/20/2008, -3/+7Who gets the feeling that zaibatsu will be submitting LOTS of toplessrobot stories in the future, and that miraculously, all of them will make the front page of Digg?
  • Potent1al, on 03/20/2008, -13/+2douche bags also make a pointless list that stereo types people on what they choose to spend THEIR money on
  • isunktheship, on 03/20/2008, -4/+66#11 popped collars http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t177/briskith10 ... (***** YOU)
    #12 anything gold in excess, if it's in your clothes you're an instant d-bag.
    #13 the brand "famous", look at this guy.. http://www.rockstarclothing.co.uk/images/f_f2.jpg
    #14 those gay jackets with the repeating patterns that EVERYONE ***** HAS.
    • MyDiggIsBig, on 03/20/2008, -6/+4by #14 do you mean those giant horitzontal striped sweaters? because yes, i noticed this 6 months ago and actually counted 14 people wearing them during my 1 hour stop at the mall.
    • dvdave, on 03/20/2008, -1/+16Dugg for the dude wearing 5 shirts!
    • thedragon4453, on 03/20/2008, -2/+13Thanks for mentioning #14. Those jackets are ***** retarded.
    • Kendralee5, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2OMG, I thought that I was the only one who hated those ***** pattern jackets. They are so UGLY. There is about 3 people I use to work with that wore those, and I made sure to remind them every day how stupid they were.
  • CaptainM4d, on 03/20/2008, -8/+14Bluetooth should have been #1. I see people with headsets everywhere. INCLUDING MY NIGHTMARES
    • b1kerguy, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2dude, that's messed up
    • Hoogs, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1They're annoying because if you're alone and someone with one of those walks by talking, you think they're talking to you. Sometimes someone will say "Hi" and I'll almost say hi back until I see their stupid little headset.
    • tre101, on 03/20/2008, -0/+0Worst are the people who walk around with them on all day just in case someone calls.

      Have you ever tried having a conversation with someone with a small blue light flashing out of the side of their head? It's a challenge.
  • Xproject01, on 03/20/2008, -4/+24They need to add "Pre-frayed Abercrombie visors worn backwards"
    • badenglishihave, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4How about pre-frayed ANYthing?
    • TheSpook, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2And how about dudes wearing hair picks in their fros? Douchey and ghey.
  • D3koy, on 03/20/2008, -1/+5How big on the watch? The face on my watch is about 1-1.25'', but it fits well...

    And let's not draw the line at "I love my penis" clothing, most novelty shirts are douche-y....like "the man/ the legend"
    • paulsmerdon, on 03/20/2008, -2/+3The mm is a better unit of measure for the face of your watch.

      1.25" translates into 31.75mm which is actually quite small for a man's watch. I would say a big face would be anything in excess of 42mm.
  • kurtwinter, on 03/20/2008, -11/+4I agree with 9/10 of these. Real douchebags don't wear bluetooth headsets, especially while driving.
  • LostinService, on 03/20/2008, -2/+8Large faced watches are a sign of a good watch, so long as it has a thin depth. a 32mm watch face with a 2mm depth would be perfectly acceptable. To wear a small watch face with a suit would make you look retarded.
    • paulsmerdon, on 03/20/2008, -0/+8The size of the face of a watch has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the piece. In fact, most HUGE watches are complete trash. While thinness can be a indicator of quality, some high end watches have complications which necessitate the use of a thicker case.


    • jololli, on 03/20/2008, -1/+7I think it's more that 80lb guys look ridiculous with a big watch on their wrist. Especially if it's a nice or flashy watch and they're wearing jeans and a tshirt.
    • Hoogs, on 03/20/2008, -1/+3I think the guy who wrote the article is just jealous.
    • PabloIV, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1I think you're alright with most classic brands. Although I did see an unusually large Tag a couple of days ago.
  • cowsgonemadd3, on 03/20/2008, -3/+3#4 should be illegal...
    sick
  • highPhone, on 03/20/2008, -1/+16dude, a set of balls for your truck!!! i didn't know such a thing existed
    • digitallysick, on 03/20/2008, -0/+18Take a drive to the southern usa, everyone has them, and its stupid.
      • Arramol, on 03/20/2008, -2/+5Where in the south? I live in Texas and (thankfully) have never seen these.
        • skyshock1, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4Texas ain't the south. Alabama is the south. Truck nuts EVERYWHERE.
        • Tddupre, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4in Kentucky they have them everywhere to
        • Kzoo, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Fortunately lower numbers where I spend time, but I suspect a little further north (Ocala-ish) they can be found in greater abundance.
      • cdubd, on 03/20/2008, -0/+6Southern california....it's full of Bros, raised trucks, and plenty of truck nuts....I feel like a prisoner in my own home...surrounded by these people
        • Jadler88, on 03/20/2008, -0/+6Ha! Dug for paranoia.
          • praisethelard, on 06/06/2008, -0/+1I share the same sentiments, unfortunately. But, fortunately, I have never seen a pair of truck nuts.
        • ledzep19752000, on 03/20/2008, -2/+3What did you expect living in Northern Mexico?
      • leopardflames, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1all the "bling-bling" cars have silver balls to match their spinning rims in richmond. i saw a set of blue ones on the back of a red pick up the other day. mostly ghetto thugs or rednecks have them in richmond.
    • DangerCollie, on 03/20/2008, -0/+7Sadly they do exist and they automatically get the driver moderated +5 Douchebag.
    • bagelmaster, on 03/20/2008, -0/+5You're blessed to not live in a redneck area. Too bad I can't say the same :(
    • PixelMagic, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4I live in Alabama :(
    • fotbr, on 03/20/2008, -0/+5They've infested Chicago, St. Louis, and Indianapolis as well.
      Either the rednecks are spreading, or there's some other group that also likes plastic balls.
    • yacks, on 03/20/2008, -1/+3I'm waiting to see them on a '81 Honda Civic...
      Funniest thing I have seen on the road still is a Semi-Truck with Spinners..
      • praisethelard, on 06/06/2008, -0/+2Funniest thing I've seen was a semi with the words "Go to school so you don't end up a smelly, fat truck driver like me" on the back. There were also some words that were peeled off, but you could still kinda make out what they said. I don't recall what they said...but I remember it being funny.
  • Misinformant, on 03/20/2008, -1/+4If it was posted "Posted at 5:00 AM Mar 19, 2008" then how did I see it months ago...like twice?
  • MatthieuR, on 03/20/2008, -8/+17#10, well 2 girls I dated (separately) claimed to really dig the smell.
    Fine, I'm a douchebag :(
    • TitanX13, on 03/20/2008, -4/+5same. i got in a car full of girls and i had them sniffing me up. kinda like the commercials. it was kinda odd but enjoyable
      • DigitalHippie73, on 03/20/2008, -3/+10Its a douchy thing to wear because it probably means you saw those gay commercials and thought, "Wow, I bet that really works!"
        • PunkRampant, on 03/20/2008, -5/+4Well you're awfully pretentious.
        • AKBryant54, on 03/20/2008, -4/+2Axe was the least douchbaggy thing on this list, probably why it's in the number 10 spot.
      • karaokekidd, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1I have Axe beat, I use the Adidas spray.
    • foltaggio, on 07/11/2008, -6/+1digg*
    • Kzoo, on 03/20/2008, -1/+6Eh, if you use it because you (or someone special you know) like(s) it, no big deal. If you use it because of what the commercials imply, well...
    • starkruzr, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2What if you just use Axe deodorant?
      • mortinmaxwell, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1If you have to ask you are a douche.
    • enkafan, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1I'm not gonna lie, after fooling around my girlfriend we were going out and I didn't feel much like showering, so I sprayed some of that ***** on to cover it up. We ended up not going out.

      Axe, like Cologne, will work fine when your subtle about it...
  • digitallysick, on 03/20/2008, -13/+5Buried, I don't see a problem with pukka shell necklaces, or really any necklace for that matter. What's wrong with a bluetooth headset? Yeah, it sucks to wear it and have people thinking you're talking to them when you aren't. But what other option do you have? Can't use speaker phone everywhere you go. And last, big face watches , i have no problem with http://www.invictawatch.com/ Invicta makes excellent watches, some of which have really big faces,
    • pattyman5000, on 03/20/2008, -2/+9Are you a douchebag though?
    • karel747, on 03/20/2008, -4/+16Just accept that you're a douche-bag and move on. Your rationalizations make no sense.
    • psylence, on 03/20/2008, -2/+6When you can't figure out who 'the guy' is, it's you... Tragic to see it demonstrated.
      • fuktheworld, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Literally, perfect example for a demonstration though
    • ustna, on 03/20/2008, -2/+3Invicta? Are you serious? LMAO!
    • ThorsSon, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1Invicta's web developer is a douchebag for building a web page that immediately plays music upon loading.
      You are a douchbag for sending me to that page.
  • sq2shooter, on 03/20/2008, -1/+36The blue tooth mention should have a disclaimer that it is okay if you exclusively use it in your car because you drive a stick shift. That is my excuse.
    • doronster195, on 03/20/2008, -1/+21You drive a stickshift, so you don't need to worry about being a douchebag.
      • enderwiggin13, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2Jeep Wranglers have manual transmissions...and 95% of those are driven by popped collar, pooka shell necklace, pre-worn tilted abercrombie visor, axe wearing douchebags. So try not to generalize. :P
        • sq2shooter, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1I resemble that remark. Well at least the Wrangler part. Fortunately none of the other things apply.
    • ledzep19752000, on 03/20/2008, -1/+4Unless it's a ricer!
    • WikiEasy, on 03/20/2008, -3/+2You're still a douche. :p
    • RetardoCrisp, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2I agree, they are a necessity in the car. It can save lives so if that makes you a douche by keeping your attention and hands where they should be in a car, well be a proud douche my friend. I will drive along side you and we can be bluetooth'ed douches together. I drive an A4, hopefully you are not driving a Honda otherwise I can't be seen next to you, sorry man. Hahah
    • RetardoCrisp, on 03/20/2008, -0/+1BTW, mine is a little thin indiscreet all black Motorola one, not one of those huge silver Borg edition ones. =P
    • gamben0, on 03/20/2008, -0/+0I quit using mine when even the reflection of the blue light annoyed the crap out of me. Long live speakerphone!
    • LooterMcBeer, on 03/20/2008, -1/+1My G35 has it built into the car so i dont have to look like a douchebag but i still do because noone can see anything except me, talking to myself, staring up towards the review mirror.......
  • liah, on 03/20/2008, -0/+27I'm a girl and I actually do love the smell of Axe. :( Does that mean I'm a douchebag, too?
    • tmyprod, on 03/20/2008, -1/+28I think the feminine is "Douchette"
    • markperia, on 03/20/2008, -2/+15The thing is most of them use too ***** much of it. Other than that Axe isn't bad.
      • njhardc0re, on 03/20/2008, -1/+0my friend takes a puerto rican shower in it, after a real shower! not cool..
    • codynyc74, on 03/20/2008, -1/+3 my wife likes the smell of axe also.:)


      but mark peria has it right. Its fine as long as its not too strong.
    • njhardc0re, on 03/20/2008, -4/+4I wear axe and ive had plenty of girls that love the smell.. who ever wrote the article probably wore it and never had one girl come by him.. hes the douch
      • Chromatik, on 03/20/2008, -0/+5Whatever makes you feel better... : )
      • TheSpook, on 03/20/2008, -0/+3In my observation, most girls like douche bags when they're young (I think they call it "confidence"). Some of them have to go through a divorce or two to find a man who will treat them right.
    • digitalpencil, on 03/20/2008, -1/+15Not necessarily a douche, it does however indicate that you have the nasal receptors of a 14 yr old girl.
    • evilregis, on 03/20/2008, -1/+10No, but it makes you a douchebag enabler. Please stop enabling douchebaggery. Please?
    • thejumbo, on 03/20/2008, -0/+4I think it makes you the nozzle.
    • PRlME, on 03/20/2008, -2/+2there are no girls on the internet your lieing!
    • stang4783, on 03/20/2008, -0/+2Axe, the Irish shower
  • themanflounders, on 03/20/2008, -14/+6"The one caveat to this might be the surprisingly large percentage of Bluetooth users that look like they're dirt poor and yet are sporting a shiny new headset to field the incoming calls on their cellphone that's been 'temporarily disconnected.'"

    Not pretentious at all. Nothing like making fun of "dirt poor" people eh? I used to like the term douche-bag when referring to people I really didn't like, but it has been taken away by all these Digg articles and kids behind computer screens making fun of everything with or without a pulse. Who cares what you over-cynical sarcastic people say any more.
    • sougly, on 03/20/2008, -2/+4The true douchebags are the ones who are confident in their abilities to judge a person's personality based solely on what they wear.
    • lordno, on 03/20/2008, -3/+2If you stopped at the first sentence I would have given you a point.
    • pagno, on 03/20/2008, -2/+2"Who cares what you over-cynical sarcastic people say any more."
      Apparently, you, seeing as you took they time to comment. Also, words like "cynic" and "sarcastic" are complementary. So if that was an insult, try again, this time try to suck less.
      • themanflounders, on 03/20/2008, -2/+1Well I certainly take the time to explain things that I disagree with, most people don't. I disagreed with the comment about the 'dirt poor' because it is obviously ridiculous. And as for the semantics, cynic and sarcastic are words addressing completely different things. Sarcastic is the way with which you say something, and cynical refers to the subject matter. I shouldn't have had to explain that to you, and wasn't going to but you were too rude for me to resist. It's so easy to be so rude from behind a computer screen eh?
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