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Seven Compliments That Won’t Get You Laid

divinecaroline.com — No urban legends, no made-up magazine quotes —these are (sadly) the real deal… from the not-so-savvy sector of bad complimenters out there.

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  • jggube, on 06/03/2008, -4/+16"I like women with a little gray in their hair." made me lol! :)
  • 1aaaa, on 06/03/2008, -3/+48this is of no use. what are the 7 that WILL get me laid?
    • biotch, on 06/03/2008, -0/+7There are none.
      I can save everyone a few minutes of reading time by changing this article to one sentence:

      "Compliments dont get you laid."

      You're welcome.
    • phuibonhoa, on 06/03/2008, -0/+5"My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself..." Not a complement, but works every time ;)
    • pilot101, on 06/03/2008, -0/+1simple, bust out your wallet
  • kterrance, on 06/03/2008, -4/+8if you use "you remind me of my mom" then you need a therapist more than a quickie.
    • Hangly, on 06/03/2008, -2/+3Most men end up marrying women who remind me of their mothers in some fashion. There's nothing wrong or unusual about that.
    • lamiaconfitor, on 06/03/2008, -0/+1Yeah, I had a woman say something similar to me...
      "You remind me allot of my dad."
      I couldn't help but assume it was a giant turn off.
  • FrancoisLyon, on 06/03/2008, -3/+46if you're in the position to compliment a woman's labia, aren't you already getting laid?
    • biotch, on 06/03/2008, -0/+3haha i was gonna say by that time its too late isnt it?

      But in the article she never says he didnt get laid..... she just says it creeped her out :)
    • itsgotyou, on 06/03/2008, -1/+2Or you have the bestest job in the whole damned world!
  • Sillywombat, on 06/03/2008, -2/+137 compliments that wont get you laid? Hell, there have to be thousands.
    This is digg, try something like 7 compliments that WILL get you laid.
    • joeydoo, on 06/03/2008, -0/+1I'm wondering right now if.. "your face looks just like the one in my fridge".. will maybe work. Is that one of the thousands?
  • trumpydumpy, on 06/03/2008, -11/+461 diggs and on the frontpage? Digg me down if you want, I'm still going to question digg's frontpaging methods. How does it work? Why do some articles get frontpaged at much less than 100 diggs (usually stupid comedy links or videos) while some take much more than 100 (Anything questioning the establishment)? As for this article, buried for stupidity.
    • solidus636, on 06/03/2008, -1/+3I'm sure it takes into account the speed of the diggs on the story.
      • trumpydumpy, on 06/03/2008, -3/+2Well it's great to know people are scrambling to digg ***** like this while important stuff goes completely unnoticed. Idiots.
      • houndeyex, on 06/03/2008, -1/+2I think that's part of it. 89 diggs in less than 5 hours.
    • LocalDocal, on 06/03/2008, -1/+1Anything questioning the establishment? You're suggesting that Digg is secretly protecting the rich and powerful? Are you serious?
    • Surferess, on 06/03/2008, -0/+1Here is why: http://socialblade.com/digg/diggfpdata.php
      You have to check the friend ratio. If more friends dugg you get a lower score. If just random people digg their vote is worth more. This story currently number 88
  • fatjoe, on 06/03/2008, -3/+13Here's one of my own

    Hey you know you look a lot like my next girlfriend
    • rhbama13, on 06/03/2008, -6/+3I have one too.

      lets go back to my place and I'll give you a pink sock!
    • itsgotyou, on 06/03/2008, -1/+2Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I see the woman that I'm going to marry.
    • ReyX, on 06/03/2008, -0/+2Hey you know you look a lot like my next ex-girlfriend.
    • ElbertF, on 06/03/2008, -0/+6You look a lot like my next rape victim.
  • HookmasterCH47, on 06/03/2008, -1/+14... and that was the second time I had crabs.
  • trumpcard, on 06/03/2008, -8/+1Ask her a lot of doubts even if you already know about it girls like explaining things.Atleast from my experience.
  • Murrabbit, on 06/03/2008, -4/+18Something else that won't get you laid: Splitting up your 1 page of content across 2 pages just so you can place more advertisements.
  • Jarasmen, on 06/03/2008, -7/+3Okay, okay, okay, wait... DUH.
  • KingGorilla, on 06/03/2008, -2/+15Here's my personal book of pickup lines. Say as many of them as fast as you
    can. Don't stop for any reason.

    If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a bit?
    I find the most attractive part of a woman, is the boobies
    Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast
    She's built like a steakhouse, but drives like a bistro
    I'll be all over you like a fly on some very seductive manure
    • Nousakan, on 06/03/2008, -5/+1Dugg for bistro.
    • phuibonhoa, on 06/03/2008, -0/+10Be warned, I suffer from a very sexy learning disability... what do i call it Kif?
  • misconstrued, on 06/03/2008, -1/+10Number 3. Saying, “You have a very attractive labia.” won't get you laid? If you've already gotten that far and you don't get (or haven't already gotten) laid you've got problems...
    • ToadLeg, on 06/03/2008, -1/+8#3 sounded like the author just had some issues. A partner said her vagina looked good, presumably while having sex, so it bothered her? "Never say that to a woman"? so what she means to say is "have sex with me, but don't talk about it" but wait, then she says "opt for the dirtiest, most porn-worthy word possible." Wow, so it's not ok to talk about the sex, unless you use your porn voice. Ok... WTF?
      • misconstrued, on 06/03/2008, -0/+3Maybe she'd rather he use the phrase Camel Toe....? :)
      • dazparkour, on 06/03/2008, -0/+4She means she would rather you called it a *****. *Sigh*.
      • lamiaconfitor, on 06/03/2008, -1/+2This woman was just looking for a way to brag about her labia. incidentally, women, please don't use the phrase I love your beautiful C@@k so often...
  • FireStalker, on 06/03/2008, -2/+3"why miss those are some loverly ***** u got there!"
  • gALEXy, on 06/03/2008, -5/+0“You have a very attractive labia.” - Just one eh?
    • valosonthor, on 06/03/2008, -0/+1Labia is the plural form. Labium would be the singular, but you've never heard it 'cuz nobody's got just one.
    • WoollyMittens, on 06/03/2008, -1/+1You fail at latin.
  • rhbama13, on 06/03/2008, -5/+2“You have a very attractive labia.”

    if you are asying this aren't you already getting laid?
  • Welsh001, on 06/03/2008, -1/+3Where was the "Do you play WOW?" that line usually stops girls from even talking to you.
    • lamiaconfitor, on 06/03/2008, -0/+2Just the ones that aren't actually worth bagging.
      In my opinion, a pick up line should be a vetting for poor mates: "Could you possibly be a temporary replacement for my hollow vision of perfection?" is probably the most useful pick up line in my arsenal. that followed by the xkcd shirt "Maybe if this shirt is witty enough, someone will finally love me." which isn't as much of a pick up line as it is a cute conversation starter.
  • Hangly, on 06/03/2008, -3/+4A better idea is to not try to pick up snarky self-important women who expect potential mates to perform for them by delivering just the right line.
    I just don't think witty remarks are that important in a relationship. Maybe it's just me.
    • lamiaconfitor, on 06/03/2008, -1/+2Or just don't be an obvious man slut trying to pick up women with 'pick up lines.' be honest. ***** all else.
  • bj1989, on 06/03/2008, -5/+3Studid. This is basically just a list of insults you could make to a woman. What am I supposed to do with this? It's not even funny. On top of that it's inaccurate, some guys still manage to get laid by calling girls fat.
  • jwiesenborn, on 06/03/2008, -1/+10***** this "divinecaroline" *****. down with rhyming URLs!
  • DocM, on 06/03/2008, -2/+4"Hey, wow! You don't look *that* bad for once!"

    Works every time.
    • lamiaconfitor, on 06/03/2008, -0/+1yeah, digg him down, because I am sure he is serious.
  • falafelkiosken, on 06/03/2008, -2/+4"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies"
  • xtrench, on 06/03/2008, -1/+4Great, another woman-'know it all'. Just what I need...
  • nowhereelse, on 06/03/2008, -1/+6"You don't sweat much for a fat bird"
  • anagoge, on 06/03/2008, -1/+3I only read this story because of the image of a cute girl.

    And by read, I mean looked at the picture and then left.
  • BlackJackJester, on 06/03/2008, -0/+4Dangit, there goes my arsenal. This just leaves me with, "Aren't you that girl from that Girl Gone Wild video?", and that's only worked once.
  • lamiaconfitor, on 06/03/2008, -1/+2These are just as stupid as the advice the article is picking on. the best way to hit on a girl is to genuinely get to know her. Either that or just walk up and say... "Let me see your genitals." depending on the class of woman you are looking to attract and why.
  • Oea420, on 06/03/2008, -1/+2The article wasn't the best, but the advice given at the end is very very true.
  • itsgotyou, on 06/03/2008, -0/+5Hi. I bet you like anal.
  • chrispr, on 06/03/2008, -2/+3Got to 3, stopped reading.
    Why is trash like this on digg? :(
  • CosmicKeys, on 06/03/2008, -0/+1Hmm, that site kinda reminds me why I find the "sex and the city", relationship obsessed female stereotype so shallow.
  • luckyguy2000, on 06/03/2008, -4/+41. “You look like Gregory Peck.”
    2. “I like women with a little gray in their hair.”
    3. “You have a very attractive labia.”
    4. “I love your pedicure! Is your polish Cherries in the Snow?”
    5. “You can’t possibly weigh that much!”
    6. “You look a lot like my ex wife.”
    7. “You remind me of my mom.”

    the article has an additional explanation for each one.
    • Sulzer, on 06/03/2008, -0/+2thanks for saving me the time; article sounds pretty 'meh'
  • Philbert, on 06/03/2008, -1/+2This weekend I was at a bar and trying to chat up this girl who I thought looked like Jennifer Garner (Ironically her name was Jenny) and I told her so. Unfortunately she seemed more interested in a guy that looked like David Beckham and things didn't go anywhere. Anyway I was thinking about it later. Suppose Mr. Beckham wasn't around and things had gone well. Do you think she would be then wondering if I was thinking about Jennifer Garner the whole time we were together?
  • sweetweb, on 06/03/2008, -0/+2I once received "you look like my favorite porn star, can I have your phone number?"

    haha was that a compliment?
  • kaosethema, on 06/05/2008, -0/+11. If I'm telling her “You have a very attractive labia.” am I not, technically, already getting laid? I know saying it while look down yonder won't get me laid AGAIN but the title said "won't get you laid" (one timers are not always that bad).
    2. and if i'm complimenting your genitalia, are you worthy of mine if you're gonna get all weird about it? (some people freak out on the porno version names)
    • kaosethema, on 06/05/2008, -0/+1DON'T EVER...
      watch a video from from her film school days and notice that she was a lot slimmer then... then turn around and like the genius you are, you say "wow, you were skinnier then" and then you ask "what happened?"

      i was kicking myself the whole train ride home.
  • kaosethema, on 06/05/2008, -0/+1watch a video from from her film school days and notice that she was alot slimmer then... then turn around and like the genius you are, you say "wow, you were skinnier then" and then you ask "what happened?"

    i was kicking myself the whole train ride home.
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