What is Digg?98 Comments
- bluepill2, on 08/15/2008, -5/+99Alright here's a joke I haven't heard in a while about the Mexican secret agency, the Judiciales (or Policia Judicial Federal, aka "Los Judas").
It goes, there was once a contest between the top secret agencies of several countries which consisted in releasing a rabbit in the woods, then finding it again one day later (look, its a joke, okay?). So first at bat is the Americans, the CIA, with a lot of high-tech spy gear and satellite photos, and radar ***** and unmanned spy drones and stuff, they get the rabbit in 20 hours. Then its the chinese which conduct a massive raid of all bunnies in the woods which was then filtered down via DNA matching. They get the rabbit in 18 hours. Then its the russians; the KGB-like body had infiltrated the contest officials, paid off several insiders and had a network of small furry creatures selling information all throughout the woods. They get the rabbit in just 16 hours. Then its the mexicans. The Judiciales return in just 5 hours, and they carry with them a dog that has been bloodied and beaten to within an inch of its life, and keeps screaming "I AM THE RABBIT!! I AM THE RABBIT, I SWEAR!!"
I can say this joke cuz I'm half mexican. Now digg me down. - jtbell04, on 08/15/2008, -1/+74Expect to see Carlos Mencia claiming responsibility for that joke in a fortnight.
- jakeshdaddy, on 08/16/2008, -1/+59I can laugh at that joke cuz I eat Mexican food.
- kingmanic, on 08/15/2008, -3/+37MI6 had Russian moles in various high profile management positions.
The CIA is better known for it's epic failures then it's successes.
The NSA and Mossad makes both the CIA and MI6 look like amateurs. I don't know anything about ASIS, so either they do a good job of keeping their activity secret or there really isn't anything to do for intelligence agency in Australia. - bluepill2, on 08/15/2008, -0/+22True that.
And I hate his guts. I don't know a single half OR full mexican who actually likes Mencia. He's a pendejo. - Shogi, on 08/15/2008, -1/+21Munich is a perfect example of how incredibly unglamorous the job really is.
- jakash, on 08/15/2008, -2/+21"What about the A-Team? Putting an end to jibba jabba one fool at a time."
By CodyCastor in the comments. - inactive, on 08/16/2008, -0/+19Ironically, careers section on Mossad's website has an invalid security certificate!
- Merp08, on 08/16/2008, -0/+18I'm Mexican and I hate the son of a bitch.
- thereisnostate, on 08/16/2008, -1/+19There is nothing glamorous about being a spy. Starting pay for the CIA is relatively low. Many of them are just desk jobs. People need to stop thinking hollywood movies are reality.
- fuzzymuzzy, on 08/16/2008, -0/+16"The ASIS is not above dirty business, they just conduct it in lovable Australian fashion. For instance they decided to do a hostage extraction training exercise at the busy Melbourne Sheraton Hotel without bothering to tell anyone at the hotel it was a training exercise."
Times like these I'm glad to be called an Aussie - Scaryclouds, on 08/16/2008, -1/+17Dugg for absolutely ridiculous photoshop of rabbi Mat Damon.
- inactive, on 08/16/2008, -0/+14Travel to foreign lands, meet exotic people and kill them.
- thereisnostate, on 08/16/2008, -1/+12Actually anyone of any ethnicity is free to make a joke of any type at least in countries where there is free speech. Your ethnicity doesn't give you ownership over an entire category of jokes.
- Tagaiz, on 08/16/2008, -0/+11Well, once they get assigned overseas the job is very James Bond-esque. While most of it is just meeting with people, collecting information and that sort of thing, the CIA does break in and plant bugs in other countries embassies or their diplomats houses. There are also jobs in Afghanistan that are much more dangerous that do require full arms training and such. So while most of the employees are working in Virginia and DC there is a lot of spy sort of stuff going on. But you are right the pay does suck however almost all expenses are paid such as housing, utilities, vehicle, children s private school education which amounts well over 50k.
- funkyloki, on 08/16/2008, -3/+12"I don't know anything about ASIS, so either they do a good job of keeping their activity secret or there really isn't anything to do for intelligence in Australia."
Fixed it for ya. - spiffyfitz, on 08/16/2008, -0/+8I want to know how I can get into Black Mesa (or at least Area 51).
- bipolarruledout, on 08/16/2008, -0/+7I would rather work in pornography. They need IT people also and it's still a more respectable field.
- spar303, on 08/16/2008, -0/+7lol so true
- mark076h, on 08/16/2008, -1/+8It would probably be good to work for the CIA for a few years to look good on your job resume.
- notthatnoise, on 08/16/2008, -1/+7dugg for condescending remark about 4chan.
- joeydoo, on 08/16/2008, -0/+6.. or is that what they want you to think! It's all a double bluff.
- nickbarber, on 08/16/2008, -0/+5@MOJIRA
It was a joke. Two half mexicans make one mexican, hence "it has been approved by the entire mexican 'body'." - Azohko, on 08/16/2008, -1/+6Dugg down for not replying. Shameless exploitation of the system to attract more people to your comment, Despite the fact that it is clearly in response to the joke.
Sorry, I'm a hard ass. - jfarquhar, on 08/16/2008, -1/+6Wow, some hilarious Australian stereotypes there, haven't heard those ones before! Fosters? Genius!
- jtbell04, on 08/15/2008, -2/+7Fun Cracked Comment:
"CSIS always has a booth when our university or student union does job fairs and similar activities. It's actually kind of sad, though they do tend to attract more traffic than your average summer house-painting gig. Whether our espionage service should be competing with such outlets is another question."
That's nothing, they had a booth up at my ***** high school. - synthesis811, on 08/16/2008, -0/+4erm the NSA is signals intelligence only, they don't go out in the field so you can't compare them to CIA or MI-6 (and the UK equivalent of the NSA is GCHQ).
- opiniastrous, on 08/16/2008, -1/+5ASIS lost it's ability to carry weapons after that incident, though that was reversed in 2003 or 2004, if I recall correctly.
- Merp08, on 08/16/2008, -1/+5As a Mexican I fully endorse this joke.
Mexican powa! - Mononuclear, on 08/16/2008, -1/+5CIA is always at college campuses trying to recruit people. I personally wouldn't want to work there. They are boring under payed jobs where you work long hours with tons of bureaucracy. Make sure you put a cover on the TPS report!!! You also will most likely have your home phone tapped and have very little privacy.
Take any job with the CIA and you could do that same job for someone else while making more money, less hours, more benefits, more perks, and more freedom to actually do your job and not do paperwork. - inactive, on 08/16/2008, -6/+10Cracked.com is a great way to kill time!
I'm going to get buried =( - delirium, on 08/16/2008, -0/+4You know they're not hiring average joes to be agents right? There's an army saying, it takes 2 people to support every grunt. I think it would take a lot more to support an agent.
- jnordb, on 08/16/2008, -0/+3Did you know that the turtle is nature's suction cup?
- urik88, on 08/16/2008, -0/+3I read an anonymous book written by a spy, that shows the real life of a spy.
Basically, she's an Iraqi refugee that escaped to Israel from the Saddam Hussein regime after her dad got killed under spying accusations. She got a degree in middle eastern politics, got married, and moved into the US.
There after some time she finds an ad from some agency looking for someone with knowledge over the middle east, and she applies. Her job was to be a secretary. Slowly, she starts to get in higher positions, and ends up researching the connections between the terrorist groups and the Islamic aid groups in the US.
So what was her job? Researching, sneaking into hate speeching mosques disguised as a Muslim, and checking the garbage of some people. Then filling reports and let the FBI do their job.
Damn glamorous and fun...
Here is the book:
http://www.amazon.com/Terrorist-Hunter-Extraordina ... - o0adam0o, on 08/16/2008, -0/+3Ive heard the a similar one,
except they were trying to investigate the origins/history of a newly discovered Pyramid. The rest of the countries sent their best historians/scientist/archaeologist for montghs to investigate but none could get much info....The Mexican sent their own secret agency..just 2 guys. 4 hours later they come out with their shirt sweaty and sleeves rolled up and say... "well it took us a while but the F!@#n mummy finally cracked...."
(they managed to beat the mummy back to life and made it tell them everything abnout the pyramid) - mearom, on 08/16/2008, -1/+4kinda lame for cracked, I have to say
- Overcyn, on 08/16/2008, -0/+3can someone explain this? im so lost.
- notthatnoise, on 08/16/2008, -1/+4you never can tell where cheney might be lurking
- travis1982, on 08/16/2008, -0/+3first rule of CSIS...we don't talk about CSIS.
- dkapuchino, on 08/16/2008, -0/+3Either that, or someone is man-in-the-middle'ing your access to the Mossad's website.
- travis1982, on 08/16/2008, -0/+3I am in university right now, planning on joining CSIS when I'm done. I have a couple of friends in their right now..and I have heard some ***** up *****. Something about an engineer being scouted for CSIS but not wanting to join, this guy was a friends aunt's sister's boyfriend's father..or something along those lines..anyways, he "disappeared". Also, CSIS is supposed to be solely domestic, yet they offer positions to intelligence officers over seas? I know CSIS isn't the most competent agency out there, with the Amir and air india bombings and such...but I can't wait to get in nevertheless. Hopefully I' wont be flagged for talking about this..because that would suck balls.
- ParanoydAndroid, on 08/16/2008, -0/+3cryptography = secret writing A.K.A making codes
Cryptanalysis = breaking codes
cryptology = the study of all aspects of the art, including both cryptography and cryptanalysis. - mkamal, on 08/16/2008, -1/+3Hire him instead
http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp-content/images/rick ... - annenk38, on 08/16/2008, -0/+2USMC is not a clandestine service. Still dugg for reference to FMJ
- o0adam0o, on 08/16/2008, -0/+2Yes. Lets just say in Mexico...they treat all their suspects as if they were in Guantanamo...thus getting alot of false confessions after some "interrogations"
- Merp08, on 08/17/2008, -0/+2As a Mexican I fully endorse this joke.
- weeFred, on 08/16/2008, -0/+2They can plant bugs in other countries embassies as technically it's not US soil.
- funkyloki, on 08/16/2008, -0/+2They actually named an operation "Wrath of God"? That is ***** awesome!
- Swanston, on 08/16/2008, -0/+2?? CSIS > CIA
-
Show 51 - 99 of 99 discussions
Check out the new & improved 
© Digg Inc. 2009
— Content created and posted by Digg users is 