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See the original image at aol.com.au

Kansas Woman Sat on Boyfriend's Toilet for 2 years

aol.com.au — Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple says a man called his office last month to report that something was wrong with his girlfriend. The sheriff says the woman's muscles had atrophied and that medical personnel had to remove her from the toilet because she was bound to it by "natural means."

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  • anand407, on 03/12/2008, -32/+9what a heap of crap !?!?!
    • Gonz037, on 03/12/2008, -3/+1No *****!
    • battosai787, on 03/12/2008, -6/+3That AOL is still around??? If so, then yes "what a heap of crap."
    • sgtbutterscotch, on 03/12/2008, -4/+1So are Australians familiar with the states of the USA? Just curious because the article did not mention a country that the story took place in even thought the site is AOL News Australia.
    • jmpeagle, on 03/12/2008, -0/+8http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23595533/
      FTA
      "Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital."
    • sanman, on 03/12/2008, -3/+1I wouldn't want to have that job
      I'd quit on the spot before going in there
      You'd probably die of nausea anyway
  • pepelu12, on 03/12/2008, -45/+2was that meant to be ironic, anand407? cause I laughed.
  • jmbaby, on 03/12/2008, -55/+1interesting article. i liked it.
  • filmadic, on 03/12/2008, -158/+3Hey just got your shout. I won't send you any spam. I'll continue digg your stuff if you digg mine. Thanks!!
    • Myonosken, on 03/12/2008, -0/+94You're what is wrong with this site's system. The point is to Digg articles based on merit, not to circle jerk.
      • endlessoul, on 03/12/2008, -0/+28Tell that to MrBabyMan and his circle of jerks.
      • TheWorm, on 03/13/2008, -1/+30Digg friends are like Superdelegates. They ruin the true democratic process. I have no friends on Digg. I will never get to the home page. I've stopped trying to submit articles.
        • endlessoul, on 03/13/2008, -1/+3I- and I'm sure a lot of other Diggers- feel the same way. I've submitted a few only to get 6 diggs.

          I don't think that's how Digg should be.
          • gyrfalcon, on 03/13/2008, -1/+1Republics are not supposed to have "true democratic" processes. Who wants a system were every idiot arm chair citizen gets the same equal vote?

            Seriously why don't we just text message our votes... It can be like American Idol.
    • Mikhail101, on 03/12/2008, -0/+19I dugg your mum, thanks!
  • DarkSenay, on 03/12/2008, -7/+87Is that Eva Mendez in the thumbnail?? Damn you. Now every time I see her I will think of a fat woman on a toilet.
    • darkchild82, on 03/12/2008, -1/+8ha ha...sorry dude. Actually i don't even know if that is her, it was the only 'woman' image that showed up at the time of submission - so I chose it. I doubt someone that hot would sit on a toilet for 2 years.
    • mykalimba, on 03/12/2008, -0/+15Hmmm... the article didn't mention anything about the woman being fat. Interesting that that's the image you conjured up, though.
      • wiifm69, on 03/13/2008, -4/+8Only lazy fat people get stuck to toilets, couches, you name it, they can't be ***** moving off it
      • Karmavs, on 03/13/2008, -1/+6Presumably being attached to the toilet by "natural means" requires a lot of surface area to attach to…
      • Murphy1205, on 03/13/2008, -0/+0You are correct, she actually is anorexic
    • Tyrghast, on 03/12/2008, -1/+8She most likely wasn't fat...
      • expert01, on 03/13/2008, -1/+4As if you can sit on your ass for two years without moving and NOT get fat.
      • SpaceMonkeyZero, on 03/13/2008, -1/+2They said her legs had atrophied. I still think she was fat with toothpick legs.
    • jbonik, on 03/13/2008, -0/+0It's Amber Smith, who is apparently a Sexy demigoddess. She's in the men section of the link. I just noticed here at the bottom of the page when I scrolled down expecting there to be more story.
  • Voxster, on 03/12/2008, -0/+86The story alone is insane - but to have a "Mr. Whipple" in the storyline makes this one a classic.
    • mrgreenjeans, on 03/12/2008, -2/+24See what happens when you squeeze the Charmin?
    • mwmccullough, on 03/13/2008, -0/+2Does Adam Savage know?
    • barf314, on 03/13/2008, -0/+0More importantly than simply his involvement, it was Mr. Whipple's actions that got her off the toilet.
  • AlDaTbagsNChina, on 03/12/2008, -6/+33I don't like to leave the toilet ether. I even eat there
    • leftnutz, on 03/12/2008, -2/+17Haven't you heard the saying "Don't ***** where you eat"?
    • tidu, on 03/12/2008, -1/+41When you think about it, eating on the toilet is the pinnacle of efficiency.
      • Lutremi, on 03/13/2008, -1/+11Not with an 8 hour digestion time, unless you sleep there too.
        • Brodels, on 03/13/2008, -0/+12like he said, the pinnacle of efficiency.
        • skudave, on 03/13/2008, -0/+138hrs? Burritos fly through me like my intestines don't exist.
          • edwartica, on 03/13/2008, -1/+4You might want to get yourself tested for tapeworms.
          • expert01, on 03/13/2008, -0/+6Any idea where to buy tapeworms?
          • Lutremi, on 03/13/2008, -0/+3Clamp fresh earth with your hands and CHOMP
      • azimuthal, on 03/13/2008, -0/+10How about putting the food straight in the toilet? Much more efficient.
        • sporg, on 03/13/2008, -3/+1Im sure most of the American food they are eating belongs in the toilet anyway its certainly not fit for human consumption.
          • SpaceMonkeyZero, on 03/13/2008, -0/+3HURR HURR AMERICANS BAD SEE I MADE A JOKE LIKE YOU HA HA HA.
          • card51short, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1wow...touchy
      • Darkhacker, on 03/13/2008, -3/+3Why don't you inject the fat straight into your ass and cut out the middle man?
    • HumbleDialog, on 03/12/2008, -0/+17Whenever I hear about stuff like this, I wonder... what causes someone to just decide "***** it. I'm not getting up."
      • defwheezer, on 03/12/2008, -0/+4I'll let you know- IF I ever decide to get up!
        • jametta, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1What makes some one wait two years before thinking there might be something wrong? She's not the only one who's mentally deficient
    • SuperWinner, on 03/13/2008, -7/+4Sometimes while playing WoW if I feel too lazy, I will pee in a big gulp cup... thats about as lazy as I can get
    • MattBD, on 03/13/2008, -1/+2Bloody hell, and I thought I was weird for using my PDA to check e-mail on the bog!
  • suzywang3000, on 03/12/2008, -31/+8she must be very obedient girl - wifey material.
    • edwartica, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1I kind of like my women to, I dunno, get off the pot and actually go places myself.
  • jayberz, on 03/12/2008, -5/+208Kind of a crappy way to spend your time...
    • inbred, on 03/12/2008, -3/+64You are punbelievable...
    • impedance101, on 03/12/2008, -13/+4I see what you did there.
    • yohnstoppable, on 03/12/2008, -1/+59She flushed the last 2 years of her life down the toilet
    • edwartica, on 03/13/2008, -3/+9Your pun has clogged my head with laughter....someone get the plunger.
    • toonworld, on 03/13/2008, -1/+3I see your Pun-Fu is as strong as mine!
    • lowerlogic, on 03/13/2008, -1/+15If I were her boyfriend I would have dumped her.
  • iceperson, on 03/12/2008, -2/+19Apparently she was squeezing the charmin because they had to call in Mr. Whipple..
  • Strawgate, on 03/12/2008, -22/+25Her parents grew her right, however she might have accidentally mistaken the toilet for the kitchen.
    • Avor, on 03/12/2008, -1/+13What's odd is the guy directly below you quoted you from the site and is getting dugg up while you are getting buried.
      • hove, on 03/12/2008, -0/+6That's because we don't read who submitted the comment so we all assume that he plagiarized it!
    • Mikhail101, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1I cant believed I lold that that derogative statement
    • StolenLamp, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1I assumed the guy below you quoted it properly and that you stole it. My bad.
  • RevChris, on 03/12/2008, -22/+44From the Article:
    Guest: Straw Gate Wednesday, Mar 12, 2008 06:41 PM GMT-03:00
    At least she was partially right staying in one place her whole life, she must have mistaken the toilet seat for the kitchen.
  • Waskonator, on 03/12/2008, -12/+43More info http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23595533/from/ET/
    Also, my submission http://digg.com/odd_stuff/Woman_sits_on_boyfriend_ ...
    • mahdaeng, on 03/12/2008, -0/+8FTA: [[Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat.]]

      What the - ?!?!?!?!

      FTA: [[Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.]]

      Um, how about both?
  • Accolade1, on 03/12/2008, -0/+39Sounds like something out of the movie Se7en.
  • PropCulture, on 03/12/2008, -1/+32Clearly, she needs more roughage in her diet.
    • cojerk, on 03/13/2008, -0/+3That must have been some steamer she was working on!
    • TheUngod, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1Clearly she needs more diet in her diet
  • paintballing66, on 03/12/2008, -0/+18Sounds like a healthy realtionship
    • SuperWinner, on 03/13/2008, -1/+1I bet it stank after two years...
  • vptel, on 03/12/2008, -6/+17i spent 2 years in room once, Digg, Facebook, Msn, Digg, Facebook, Msn, Digg...
  • Dundasbro, on 03/12/2008, -2/+19Needs more fibre obviously.
    • fogster, on 03/12/2008, -0/+6Fiber's cool, but I think WiFi's all she'd need.
  • Narrwald, on 03/12/2008, -8/+2Huh.
  • Longbow97, on 03/12/2008, -21/+5...and on Day 8, God made 2 girls 1 cup.
    • edwartica, on 03/13/2008, -0/+3And there it is....the obligatory reference to 2 girls, 1 cup. I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and erase the video before it ever reached the net.
  • CYcolone, on 03/12/2008, -5/+15As a life long resident of Kansas, somehow this does not surprise me...
  • Striff, on 03/12/2008, -3/+38***** situation.
  • internutdpl, on 03/12/2008, -5/+4Please, Please, Please stop squeezing the Charmin
  • jmpeagle, on 03/12/2008, -3/+112 years, no showering....disgusting
    • TheSpook, on 03/12/2008, -2/+24Be glad you weren't one of the responding paramedics! I'm wondering what "natural means" means. Did her ass grow around the seat? Om nom nom nom nom.
    • provost, on 03/12/2008, -3/+2generally on the internet I tend to see women receiving showers of the 'golden' variety while sitting on the toilet.
      Nothing shocks me anymore.
    • toonworld, on 03/13/2008, -0/+2gosh... just imagine if the toilet had gotten clogged...
    • stilesja, on 03/13/2008, -1/+2She couldn't wipe if her ass was stuck to the seat could she? Maybe through her legs? Gross...
  • mparker7410, on 03/12/2008, -1/+19Feel good story of the year!
    • SuperWinner, on 03/13/2008, -0/+2I can't believe I am saying this, but this is the weirdest story I have even seen in my time on the internets
  • robgarbo, on 03/12/2008, -11/+3gotta be a hoax
  • TheMidnight, on 03/12/2008, -2/+7Did he work for Home Depot?
  • Akirajds, on 03/12/2008, -7/+2all i can say is "WTF over!"
  • jcaino, on 03/12/2008, -0/+56where did he go to the bathroom at?
    • Vironex, on 03/12/2008, -1/+22Right between her legs.
    • msweet153, on 03/12/2008, -1/+9right on her lap...which makes this story disgusting x2.
    • toonworld, on 03/13/2008, -2/+1Golden showers aren't disgusting... they're sexy!
      Right?
    • stilesja, on 03/13/2008, -1/+2In her mouth. One guy, One girl, No Cup.
    • SuperWinner, on 03/13/2008, -1/+2she was his toilet...
  • jserio, on 03/12/2008, -14/+5http://youtube.com/watch?v=fnguL3DwPaM
    • zspade, on 03/12/2008, -5/+1I can only guess that by your lack if diggs/burries that people have become immune to the Rick Roll.
      • Aidje, on 03/13/2008, -2/+2But it's not a rickroll.
      • Synapse84, on 03/13/2008, -0/+3nope not a rick-roll i've memorized pretty much every one of the rick roll links.

        it's a segment from Tool-Time from Home Improvment, showing off the perfect mens bathroom.
  • inaminute, on 03/12/2008, -5/+4when you gotta go, you gotta go.
  • THETEH, on 03/12/2008, -5/+15WHAT???
  • wright3279, on 03/12/2008, -1/+30She slept there? Clearly disturbed and the boyfriend too.
  • majmera, on 03/12/2008, -5/+7How is the picture related to the article?
  • whatthefu, on 03/12/2008, -2/+11What the *****?
  • WilliamHBonney, on 03/12/2008, -1/+12you can only imagine what that bathroom smelled like.
  • jessenoob, on 03/12/2008, -1/+5Haha, I heard this on the Matt and Ramona show today. I think it's fake because isn't the Whipple guy in some Charmin commercials?
    • michael43, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2Be careful, talking about Mr. Whipple shows your age. Please don't squeeze the Charmin.
  • GrandmasterB, on 03/12/2008, -2/+13I can only assume that being bound to the toilet by 'natural means' does not include super glue?
    • SuperWinner, on 03/13/2008, -1/+3Wait, they didn't have sex for two years? Or did they.... YEECH!!
  • Ubergoober3, on 03/12/2008, -0/+22I think he stopped being her boyfriend about a week after she wouldn't get off. inaccurate.
  • foolawrence, on 03/12/2008, -10/+4next time, she sit on his face. then he call ambulance quicker.
  • vap0r, on 03/12/2008, -6/+7I'm on the toilet now
  • MookiBlaylock, on 03/12/2008, -4/+2What the ***** man!! If the ***** ain't coming get off the bowl.
  • amneosis, on 03/12/2008, -3/+12hi-larious, people with mental problems are an endless source of mirth for diggtards.
  • Jarasmen, on 03/12/2008, -2/+3Um. Why did she do that?
    • mahdaeng, on 03/13/2008, -1/+2It must have been a very interesting magazine article.
  • rholland356, on 03/12/2008, -2/+9How absolutely sad does your life have to be that you reach the decision to sit on a toilet for the rest of your days?
    There is a reality series on one of the cable channels that tells stories about the lives and deaths of morbidly obese people and it is done with dignity and grace.
    • jordanmerle, on 03/12/2008, -1/+14Was "dignity" the name of the bulldozer needed to hoist out the corpse and "grace" the piano box they were buried in?
      • rholland356, on 03/13/2008, -0/+2Well, you know, the show stays with the individuals, friends and family to get you past their appearances and gain some understanding of them as fellow humans.
        And so far, cremation seems to be the prefered method. You might enjoy the series, if you can find it... I think the show titles include the gender and weight of the subject. So, if you spot "The 675-pound Woman" in your cable guide, that might be the show.
      • SpaceMonkeyZero, on 03/13/2008, -1/+1How about the spit used for cremation?
  • welk, on 03/12/2008, -0/+15I hope the house had more than one toilet.
    • xcornbreadx, on 03/13/2008, -0/+4I never thought about that. That opens up a whole new world of horrifying, unthinkable scenarios.
  • brbubba, on 03/12/2008, -10/+31 week without sex would have made me call the police...
    • widoka, on 03/12/2008, -0/+20then i guess you're on the phone with them a lot
  • jdm7, on 03/12/2008, -8/+137a sample dialog from one of their last 730 days
    boyfriend: Hey honey—I'm home.
    toilet girl: yeah. okay.
    boyfriend: you ... you still on the toilet?
    toilet girl: yeah.
    boyfriend: you coming out today? you said you'd come out soon. just ... wanna see if ... you know—if you were feeling like coming out?.
    toilet girl: naw, i'm still gonna hang out in here tonight.
    boyfriend: i'm making hotpockets?!! you sure you don't want to come out?
    toilet girl: tempting—but, no ... i'm good.
    boyfriend: *to self* damn it! o ... okay. maybe tomorrow, right?
    toilet girl: yeah, whatever. hey did my cosmo come in the mail?
    boyfriend: no. it came last week remember?
    toilet girl: oh. oh yeah. i forgot. time just kinda slows down in here, you know?
    boyfriend: yeah. uh, no. not really. cause you being in there is kind of freakin' me out, you know?
    • febryle, on 03/13/2008, -5/+7I was going to digg this comment up, but it has exactly 69 diggs, so I will not.
      • unjustend, on 03/13/2008, -1/+1Why did you up? because its 69 baby.
    • bbear, on 03/13/2008, -1/+9You should write for TV. Good stuff.
      • hypodan, on 03/13/2008, -1/+6Almost reminds me of a random moment on family guy. All thats needed is a random scene after the dialog.
    • cbittle, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1The boyfriend reminds me of Stewie on one of his endless tauntscapades.
      • Zephik, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1I re-read that piece of dialogue with the voice of Stewie Griffin in mind and it actually fits pretty in my opinion, so I gave you a digg.
    • GreenGrassyNoel, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1South Park. "R Kelly, and Tom Cruise are both in the closet, Why dont' you just come out of the closet?"
    • redwritinghood, on 03/16/2008, -0/+0And you are sooo right! Check out the boyfriend's comments in an update posted by AP newswire: He insisted that he tried to coax her out of the bathroom every day.
      "And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. Classic.
  • jordanmerle, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1Guaranteed she weighted over 3 bills.
    Oh and by the way ***** or get off the pot!
  • louiebaur, on 03/12/2008, -2/+1What the Hell? Why? Two years?! That's a long time to sit on the crapper.
    • stilesja, on 03/13/2008, -1/+1Well I guess everything didn't come out all right....
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