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Honey, the Damn Wizards are teaching the Kids again

local6.com — Teacher Jim Piculas does a magic trick where a toothpick disappears and then reappears. Only guess what he's charged with...

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  • Enlightenment, on 05/07/2008, -7/+456
    http://web.archive.org/web/20070809043725/www.pasc ...
    School Board Chairman
    Marge Whaley
    20433 Homossasa Ct.
    Land O' Lakes, Florida 34639
    813-794-2140

    http://web.archive.org/web/20070819182614/www.pasc ...
    Superintendent
    Heather Fiorentino
    813-794-2651

    http://web.archive.org/web/20070825081610/http://c ...
    http://www.ourtownfla.com/G_High_School_Activities ...
    Principal Dave Estabrook
    Charles S. Rushe Middle School
    18654 Mentmore Blvd
    Land O' Lakes, FL 34638
    813-346-1200
    Fax: 813-346-1291
    destabro@pasco.k12.fl.us

    • fr3ddie, on 05/07/2008, -3/+31oooooh an email address.... sounds fun.
      • sockpuppets, on 05/07/2008, -0/+60I dialed these numbers into my phone and there were voices on the other end! HERETIC!!
    • AndrewDB, on 05/07/2008, -39/+8While posting these makes it seem important, I'm sure Marge, Heather, and Dave are already aware of the situation and don't give a ***** what an online community thinks.

      Besides, at least 55% of diggers won't do ***** with the following information.
      • coup, on 05/07/2008, -3/+1345% of diggers is still quite a bit

        (but I do agree it won't matter)
      • czeman, on 05/07/2008, -1/+78I don't know. I have some ideas for a few good prank phone calls!
        "Yes, this is Dumbledore. I'm just calling to notify you that we'll be filing a discrimination lawsuit."
      • loudej, on 05/07/2008, -0/+13public outcry can be pretty effective, especially on public offices
        • wolferz, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4only when the public outcry comes from YOUR voters. I duno bout you but i'm not even in florida.
      • spimby, on 05/07/2008, -1/+3I just fired one off...made me feel better anyway. Let's see what response I get back.
        • wolferz, on 05/07/2008, -1/+2probably none, i imagine by now their email inbox is full. Mostly with assholes preforming pranks or making asses out of themselves.

          as a result those of us who might have had a chance to talk sense into these morons will be ignored.
      • Bennito, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2preceeding*
      • cricketsymphony, on 05/07/2008, -1/+3and 68% of statistics are completely made up on the spot
        • Chaulis, on 05/07/2008, -0/+14100% of over used quotes are annoying.
        • 47f0, on 05/07/2008, -0/+5As are non-hyphenated adjective clauses, such as over-used.
      • dotcomet, on 05/07/2008, -0/+3Email sent
    • afx1, on 05/07/2008, -1/+43let's play "Florida or Germany"
    • LamentMoon, on 05/07/2008, -1/+34Looks like someone wants a free* laptop.
      • Samsong, on 05/07/2008, -0/+14Can I have one without the asterisk?
        • HonoredMule, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7What's wrong with asterisk? Open source telephony rocks!
      • wrongonce, on 05/07/2008, -0/+5I'll have the asterix, if nobody else wants it.
    • kh99, on 05/07/2008, -7/+8Well, I would make sure what the article says is true before sending off an angry letter. This sounds like only part of the story to me.
      • kh99, on 05/07/2008, -1/+24... like maybe they left out the rest of the story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24470824/
      • Gregbertt, on 05/07/2008, -2/+33And the rest of the story is what? He climbed aboard his toothpick and zoomed off into the sky?
      • loudej, on 05/07/2008, -0/+10"The others are: Piculas did not follow the lesson plans, he allowed students on computers even though another teacher said not to, and he told the fifth-period student peer that she was in charge."

        He's a substitute teacher working towards a full-time career. Think about all the awful stuff you hear of in the news - none of this stuff should be career ending. Maybe some negative feedback on a performance evaluation, tops.
        • ToadLeg, on 05/07/2008, -0/+9It sounds to me like compiling evidence against someone and saying that you have fingerprints, witnesses, and his license plate number, and also he is wearing a green shirt right now and only guilty people wear green shirts. Even if the other things he did rose to the level of being reprimanded, why would you even list such a bizarre reason? (seriously though, fired because he let kids on a computer??? Hell, half the time when I was in school the substitute would not know the details on the teacher's lesson plans, so we would just watch a movie)
          • HonoredMule, on 05/07/2008, -1/+5Maybe.

            Or maybe he spent all his time goofing off (not following lesson plan, performing magic tricks, and why did he need to contradict another teacher's instructions to stay off computers if he had material to present?) and leaving students to their own devices (leaving a student in charge implies that he himself was absent).

            It sounds to me like a straightforward case of not doing your job.
          • Nitrodist88, on 05/07/2008, -0/+3You do something like 3 things that you're not technically supposed to do over the course of 8 or 9 months of your job?

            You must be a saint.
        • NYankee2003, on 05/07/2008, -0/+8Maybe not following lesson plans in this district isn't such a bad idea...
    • ParaSwarm, on 05/07/2008, -0/+20Land O' Lakes? Mmmm. Butter.
    • AngeloM3, on 05/07/2008, -10/+5$10 says he found all that info and didn't send 1 email or phone call
    • penguinofspades, on 05/07/2008, -0/+8they are public servants, and as such, should seek to serve the public's interest. ***** up this badly, and they should be held accountable. glad somebody posted their info. granted it should be contained to the public being directly affected, but its a lot less fun that way.
      • C4PT41NM4RV3L, on 05/07/2008, -0/+5Well, I decided to e-mail the principal. Although I probably should have sent him a PDF of the latest version of the Malleus Maleficarum in order to aid him in his quest. I'll post a response if I get one.
    • sx66gns, on 05/07/2008, -2/+33I called with this message;

      "Hello , I am calling to commend you for your outstanding job of protecting our children from WIZARDS!!! ARE YOU ***** RETARDED?"
    • cruzer2727, on 05/07/2008, -1/+4This is why I love digg. Email spamming at its best.
    • drizzlelicious, on 05/07/2008, -0/+14Principal Dave Estabrook,

      I'm sure you've recieved a lot of outrage about the situation with Mr. Piculas, but you have my complete support. Those damn wizards are always corrupting out children and messing with their minds; we don't need the likes of Mr. Piculas in our schools practicing demonic magic in today's modern society. I don't think you need to worry about other peoples' complaints--you are definitely doing the right thing, so keep your head strong. I myself am very concerned about the magic that our children might be exposed to, and it is definitely of utmost important that we keep them safe from such devlish magic. I once saw a man perform one of these so called "magic tricks", and several days later I fell extremely ill. Thank you for your incredible discernment.

      concerned reader,
      *************


      P.S. Are there any "Harry Potter" books in your school's library? Make sure you throw them out!
    • goldenratiophi, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4I called and asked for Battletoads.
      (they didn't have it :( )
    • cheesygoldfish, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4THE INTERNET SEEKS JUSTICE

      THE INTERNET DOESNT LIE
      • bluesdealer, on 05/07/2008, -0/+3... or use any form of punctuation.
    • monoa, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6I think they made a brave and just decision. My penis has been shrinking lately, and the fewer wizards on the loose, the better.
    • monalisaa, on 05/07/2008, -0/+3I sent an email to the head.
      Hope it dosn't backfire.
  • StaticThunder, on 05/07/2008, -1/+197Florida. Go figure.
    • radu79, on 05/07/2008, -1/+359 out of 10 cases, when something ***** up happens, it's Florida.
      Last year they arrested and handcuffed a 6 years old girl because she was 'defiant' with her teacher. The cop's supervisor said he didn't find anything wrong with his behavior.
    • Tryptomine, on 05/07/2008, -5/+23On behalf of the state, I apologize.

      (Can't wait to move away from here...)
    • loveforkarma, on 05/07/2008, -4/+7Everything, Those girls beating up that one girl on Youtube were from Florida. I feel ashamed to be living my stat.
    • JoeHammer, on 05/07/2008, -3/+13Why does it always have to be us? :-(
      • JosephStalin, on 05/07/2008, -0/+22Maybe because we're on America's wang...
        • 47f0, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6I'm about halfway down the throbbing shaft, and I had to chuckle. Makes even more sense when you realize where Tallahassee is in anatomical terms. Hey, but at least we can now include the scary word "evolution" in our state texts.... sigh.
    • Cam_86, on 05/07/2008, -2/+14It has its own category in fark, for ***** sake... "breaking news" "obvious" "sick" "dumbass" "florida" "sad".

      Truly a state to look up to.
    • sgtbutterscotch, on 05/07/2008, -0/+18I don't understand. This read like an Onion tidbit. I don't know what is funnier; that someone accused a teacher of being a wizard, or that this story will forever be immortalized on the internet. The article suddenly, if not comically, comes to a stop without elaborating at all on what the consequences of being accused of wizardry are, as if to say "Yeah, that's about it. We really like messing with our readers."
    • AngeloM3, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6Thats why I live in Rhode Island.... all the stuff that happens here stays under the radar.
      • Lazydriver, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1Same with Vegas.

        Or so the ads say, but really, doesn't everyone brag about their trips to Vegas?
    • Quicksilver4648, on 05/07/2008, -0/+8Wow, I am a student in Florida. I am glad my school board isn't run by overly religious bigots, only rich idiots who make decisions on matters they don't understand.
    • 1timeuser, on 05/07/2008, -0/+20Yes. In Alabama and Mississippi we welcome wizards.

      I await your KKK jokes.
      • insllvn, on 05/07/2008, -0/+9Lvl. 12 GRAND wizards...
        • Zipko, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4Their levitation tricks sucked though. You could clearly see the ropes holding their assistants up.
      • shamanlife, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4Grand wizards would not lower themselves to toothpick tricks.
    • Schmapdi, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7Florida - the reason we can't have nice things :(
    • xstarsprinklesx, on 05/07/2008, -0/+11It's really only certain parts of Florida that are like that. I grew up near Daytona and we had a sub who would bring in magnets and spend the whole period teaching us about their healing powers. No one ever complained about her, we were just glad not to have to do real work.
    • Samohtneas, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1I am not proud to live in the meth capital Polk County. Not two months ago it was all over the news about 19 pedos busted in a mass sting one morning.
      • spartan9817, on 05/07/2008, -0/+0I remember that, oh and the 1 million dollar drug bust in a Lakeland.
    • zyryx, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1I'm surprised it wasn't east texass
  • gordonj, on 05/07/2008, -0/+391Drop him in a pond. If he sinks, all's well, if he floats, burn him at the stake!
  • Trilogy, on 05/07/2008, -46/+62Only in America...
    • Fallout911, on 05/07/2008, -7/+75No, ***** like this happens in other places.....like Iran.......and Saudi Arabia.....oh *****.
      • coup, on 05/07/2008, -17/+8Isn't it possible that this is just an isolated incidence and not representative of the entire country? I mean comparing us to Iran and Saudi Arabia... come on.
      • j0ker666, on 05/07/2008, -7/+4This doesn't happen in Iran, don't just make stuff up!
        If you actually find a case of someone being accused of wizardy in Iran then i'll apologise but until then, just shut up.
      • JAFFA, on 05/07/2008, -5/+1So you are lumping the values of the US with Iran and SA? .... Nice.
    • 1timeuser, on 05/07/2008, -0/+61Wrong. All Wizards come from Europe. I cite Harry Potter as a source.
      • woody56292, on 05/07/2008, -0/+8well actually, in one of the books, there was a student from the USA. ( new york I believe??)
        • vdgmr1213, on 05/07/2008, -0/+21Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Go to the chapter on the World Cup. In the camp they talk about all the people there and where they are from. The discuss other countries' wizarding schools, including the USA.

          I don't know what is worse, that I know this, or that I had the never to explain that I knew this.
        • KingGorilla, on 05/07/2008, -0/+5Ah yes the American witches which originated with the Salem Witches. They would purposely call themselves out because the bewitched fire they were put on tickled so much they enjoyed it. Harry Potter fan. I hate myself
        • woody56292, on 05/08/2008, -0/+1you guys are both awesome. =D
          I am one of those lazy readers who quickly finishes a book, but can never bring myself to read it again, no matter how much I loved it.
          /glances at his lightly used copy of HP7. ( I really should read this again )
    • grr74, on 05/07/2008, -0/+33My initial thought too, but in Congo the law deals with people suspected of wizardry/witchcraft. Last month the Congolese police arrested several women for penis shrinkage/theft.
      • NYankee2003, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1- Comment deleted by author. -
      • 47f0, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2Yep. I'm still trying to get my ex to move to the Congo. Sweet revenge.
      • JAFFA, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4Which puts the belief structure of the Congo and that of the US on level footing.
      • LingNoi, on 05/10/2008, -0/+1lol theft?
    • JamJosh, on 05/07/2008, -4/+3Well at least we're not finding Baby-sicles in everybody's freezers like in Germany....thats right....baby-sicles http://www.eatbabies.com/recipes/babysicles.htm
    • djAnakin, on 05/07/2008, -10/+3Trilogy, with a retarded comment like that, you're now blocked.
    • shtonkalot, on 05/07/2008, -1/+11I know this doesn't apply to all of the USA but as a foreigner this is the sort of thing we often hear about the country.
      It may not be the only country that this happens but I cannot think of any other progressive 1st world country that has so many reports of crazy religious extremism.
      It may not be fair but it doesn't mean that to other developed nations, Americans seem like they are stuck in the dark ages when it comes to science and reason.

      I am writing this from the land of Drunken Aboriginal Firetruck Faceplanters by the way.
      P.S Alcoholism is a major problem amongst indigenous Australian Aboriginals and itself is not a laughing matter, that firetruck thing though... LOL.
      • Trilogy, on 05/07/2008, -1/+2Wow, someone understood. I'm not counting Congo and such in, since their educational system etc. isn't par to so called "western civilization". America, on the other hand, never stops to amaze me. It's either school shootings or religious fights, at least according to the news we get over here (Finland). It's kinda common assuption that any "weird stuff" going on happens in US. Okay, this was super generalized point of view, as well as you see Austria and Germany only as child kidnappers. Too bad there aren't much happy news to get some PR towards being "quite ok place to be".
        Yet, my apologies if my earlier posting hurt feelings of any wizards living outside US.
    • TBITS, on 05/07/2008, -1/+2i thought it was the catholic church that started it.
    • blueswannabe, on 05/07/2008, -0/+0Not true, wizzardry accusations also occur in unspecified-istan.
    • coyote1284, on 05/07/2008, -1/+2Stop using "America" when you mean "USA", it offends Mexicans and Surinam...ians(?). Please, use "USA" for the nation and "United Staters" for the people. *This message brought to you by the rest of North and South America*
    • MooNinja, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1That might be due to the size of America, and the prominence of Americans on Digg. Also, outside of Canada, no one cares about the "rest" of the american countries. Mexico is barely better than most African countries.
    • dontaskagain, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1West Papua is deserves a mention
    • ArcCoyote, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1you mean "Only in Florida". And freakin LAND O' LAKES FLORIDA at that.

      Trust me, most people in the US have the same feeling of WTF about this kind of thing. It's no big deal. I mean, around here even the fundie churches have magic shows and stuff for the kids.

      Local media always picks up on this kind of stuff because it's unusual even for some hick town. It takes a SPECIAL kind of Digg reader to compare the whole damn USA to backwardistan because of it.
  • amanilaenvelope, on 05/07/2008, -19/+226i don't think that fact that his magic trick was wizardry its the fact he put on a wizard hat and robe and told the kids to rub his "magic wand" for special wizard juice.
    • Nollykin, on 05/07/2008, -9/+46'i put on my robe and wizard hat'
      • TheThirdLevel, on 05/07/2008, -15/+1Buried for that historical reference.
      • Rodalli, on 05/07/2008, -0/+12I cast lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a beautiful woman.
        • Avngr75, on 05/07/2008, -0/+13I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 ***** of the Infinite.
          • TheThirdLevel, on 05/07/2008, -6/+0I believe it's "Chicken of the Infinite".
    • fxu1989, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7I am embarrased and proud of living in Florida.

      Embarrassed because of stories like these.
      Proud because we got the lead in banging our teachers.
  • synystar, on 05/07/2008, -30/+62They should banish him to Azkaban the mudblood.
    • 1timeuser, on 05/07/2008, -2/+21Are people digging you down because they think that's prejudice or something? Perhaps even diggers believe in wizards.
      • warkro, on 05/07/2008, -1/+41Everyone has agreed on Monty Python references only. Didn't you get the memo?
    • nyx210, on 05/07/2008, -4/+27Racist.
      • 1timeuser, on 05/07/2008, -18/+4in order for him to actually be a racist, wizards would actually have to exist, you realize this right? They, however don't exist so shut the ***** up.
        • twiztidsinz, on 05/07/2008, -0/+17Wizards arent a race... they're a class.
          And Dwarfs haven't been a Class since the original D&D.
        • NYankee2003, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2Wizards do really exist. I cite the famous US Supreme Court case of Cartman v. Broflovski involving leprechauns.
        • Lythium, on 05/07/2008, -1/+1In order to make himself NOT sound like an asshat, 1time would actually need to develop a sense of humor.
          Oh well.
        • coyote1284, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1@Lythium
          You Are (Not) Alone, Fifth Child.
    • carpespasm, on 05/07/2008, -1/+2Wow, ironic digging down. Nice.
  • timfrietas, on 05/07/2008, -5/+60He's a witch!!!
    • BruceAnderson, on 05/07/2008, -3/+12May we burn him?
    • gmiley, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7Seriously, I thought we got out of the dark ages. Are we going to go through witch trials again?
    • graemee, on 05/07/2008, -0/+10Quick find a duck and a set of large scales.
    • jun2san, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1False. Males who study and practice magic are referred to as wizards.
  • ViRaZ, on 05/07/2008, -1/+138http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDPd3hM5Qtc
    • Ceaser57, on 05/07/2008, -0/+41dugg for (completely necessary) multiple super slow-mo, zoom, and sound effects
      • IAmTheGuy, on 05/07/2008, -1/+10Buried for the same reason. Doing his illusion for a news station which allows someone to go through frame by frame and see how it's done. The Magician's Alliance will blackball him from even the smaller venues in town.
        • estvir, on 05/07/2008, -1/+8I'm not sure if you're joking or not but honestly, who the hell, aside from 5 year olds, wouldn't figure this trick out?
          • jmpeagle, on 05/07/2008, -0/+3it's an Arrested Development reference...calm down
          • 47f0, on 05/07/2008, -1/+3Who the hell wouldn't figure this out? Ohhh, I dunno - maybe average Florida students? (Not their fault, by the way - this state absolutely ***** on education)
          • estvir, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1jmpeagle, they I guess he was joking. ;) I
        • NeoCortex, on 05/07/2008, -0/+8COME ON! How can you respect a man who doesn't even own a $6000 suit?
        • chicken59, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2Watch me turn one hundred dollars into one hundred pennies!
      • juusux, on 05/07/2008, -0/+3man i figured it out even before they started doing the slow-mo. then they just get slower and slower, i'd love to meet someone who actually needed it that slow to see it and figure it out.
      • PunkRampant, on 05/07/2008, -0/+3Was that Darth Vader breathing?
    • PHiZ187, on 05/07/2008, -3/+19The irony of it being a Fox New affiliate. The story that followed was "Are your kids in danger from wizards at school?"
    • onionlayer, on 05/07/2008, -0/+20Ahh but see the video doesn't show him make the toothpick reappear, that is where the magic gets dangerous.
    • irishjays, on 05/07/2008, -2/+2"We could get him a... we could get him a job a hogwarts" -Gilderoy Lockhart
    • Meatetarian, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1I have to think the alliance is gonna frown on this.
  • terrachronos, on 05/07/2008, -5/+59They'd probably already be burning him at the steak if he'd tried the ol "got yer nose" trick with one of the lil idiots.
    • BobaFettTDG, on 05/07/2008, -2/+59Epic "spelling the word stake" fail.
      • NYankee2003, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6Where'd you learn to spell? wizzard!!!! BobaFettTDG is a wizard!
      • SharkyTech, on 05/07/2008, -1/+8His spelling is more delicious.
    • pseudononymist, on 05/07/2008, -1/+24mmm I'd like some A1 with that (steak).
    • graemee, on 05/07/2008, -1/+16I like my steak rare please.
    • nyx210, on 05/07/2008, -2/+5I like steak fries.
  • padraic2112, on 05/07/2008, -1/+203Please tell me this is a joke.
    • EH90, on 05/07/2008, -1/+29It's a joke.
    • nyx210, on 05/07/2008, -4/+2"God bless America.... Land that I love..."
      /sarcasm
    • blinktude, on 05/07/2008, -0/+19its no joke. its wizardry
    • Fordi, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4I dunno, but this story has me imagining a group of officious religious types just DYING to get at Penn Jillette.
  • speel, on 05/07/2008, -17/+4Dumbledores lover?
  • OffPiste, on 05/07/2008, -74/+12School board members are all Democrats. Figures.
    • induren, on 05/07/2008, -2/+42I am confused by your statement. The majority of fundies coming after people in recent years for "wizardry" and "pagan" practices have been closely if not totally aligned with the Republican party. Please explain your statement, as I don't understand what you mean.
    • ganjadude4391, on 05/07/2008, -0/+25yeah.... because democrats hate wizards now. Along with our country, every republican, the NY giants, and barney

      get over the partisan BS
      • Aensland, on 05/07/2008, -0/+3Wait, people hate Barney? I thought his theme song preaches love.
    • duhduhduh, on 05/07/2008, -0/+13LOL, yeah right.
    • penguinofspades, on 05/07/2008, -1/+11dugg down for you ability to render me completely speechless. pull your head out of your ass, not everything in life can should be related to politics. ***** pizza delivery guy wanting his tip, must be a democrat..
      jackass cut me off, must be republican...
      see doesn't work
    • 1timeuser, on 05/07/2008, -0/+31It's true. We are all voting for Obama because of his strong stance against Wizards. Those bastards pay little to no taxes while us in the Elven class are trampled on. Sure, he's a Dark elf, but he has great defense and a furious attack rate.
  • NightVortez, on 05/07/2008, -1/+54Did he put on his robe and wizard hat when performing the trick?
    • SportsViewer, on 05/07/2008, -14/+1I'm going to see how many times I can comment on this without people getting annoyed/noticing.
    • grovest4life, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2I don't know you'll have to ask the trick.
    • Lapdog1123, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2"damn it I told you to never message me again!..." epic
  • NathanielJ, on 05/07/2008, -2/+26"Piculas said he did not know f any other accusations that would have led to the action."

    Someone buy Local 6 News a spellchecker.
    • duhduhduh, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7F F F that's priceless. Only zero vowel word in the english language.
    • graemee, on 05/07/2008, -0/+19It's probably because he failed someone's kid and said "You shall not pass!"
      Yeah, he's a wizard.
    • NCSUspoon, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1Well consider the education of the people in that town.......they believe in wizards.
    • irishjays, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2Obviously it's meant to read: "Piculas said he did not know, f%#K any other accusations that would have led to the action." They just forgot the comma. Common mistak
  • Fallout911, on 05/07/2008, -21/+172A million bucks that it was Christians doing the complaining.
    • SportsViewer, on 05/07/2008, -57/+0I'm going to see how many times I can comment on this without people getting annoyed/noticing.
    • hippykiller, on 05/07/2008, -2/+18I got another million on it for ya.
    • DNABeast, on 05/07/2008, -4/+6Christians are fine with Wizardry. It's the Sorcery that they have problems with.
    • tas08, on 05/07/2008, -7/+9I'm pretty sure legitimate Christians don't believe in wizardry and thus wouldn't accuse people of it..
      • arcooke, on 05/07/2008, -2/+11"Legitimate christians?" That's a borderline oxymoron.
      • JAFFA, on 05/07/2008, -0/+12Water in to wine? Raising the dead? Walking on water? Feeding 5000 from a coupla lumps of bread and a few fish? No sir! Christians believe in Wizardry alright! Its at the centre of their 'faith'.
        • danger127, on 05/08/2008, -0/+1That guy wasn't a human christian. He was Christ.
    • DustPuppySnr, on 05/07/2008, -3/+5Sorry. It was a satanist. They didn't like the competition for their followers.
    • xen0blue, on 05/07/2008, -15/+7wow, what a bigoted thing to say
      • Nitrodist88, on 05/07/2008, -4/+4Why is it bigoted?
      • monoa, on 05/07/2008, -2/+8Not really. You're confusing 'bigotry' with 'statement of fact'.
    • hauntedchippy, on 05/07/2008, -3/+3And yet they will be the ones crying "persecution!"
    • Phoetality, on 05/07/2008, -9/+7Oh for crying out loud. I'm a christian, and even I know a few magic tricks. Theres a difference between illusions and hocus pocus lol.

      Less God bashing plz
      • monoa, on 05/07/2008, -1/+8Hocus pocus, illusions or 'miracles':

        * walking on water
        * water in to wine
        * feeding 5000 with a bit of bread and a couple of fish
        * making a fig tree 'wither'
        * catching a lot of fish
        * driving out demons

        P.S. Which god are we bashing? There's thousands to choose from....
      • tonygonz, on 05/07/2008, -1/+1He isn't God bashing, he's Christian bashing.
    • instigator24, on 05/07/2008, -7/+4Amazing that in a society where people are ruined by making racist, sexist, or even "countryist" comments, Christian bashing is still perfectly acceptable.
    • monalisaa, on 05/07/2008, -2/+3I think its a fair bet.
    • irishjays, on 05/07/2008, -2/+3Jesus was a wizard, he was like level 79, but died young
      • Fallout911, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1I always thought of him as a Bard with magic powers.
      • Fallout911, on 05/07/2008, -1/+1I always thought of him as a Bard with magic powers.
  • pervy_the_clown, on 05/07/2008, -1/+8This can't be true...
    • Anonchrist, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1Why do you think that we don't want to teach evolution? I have lived in Florida my entire life and have been told that all of our history books were filled with debatable lies.
  • sambapati87, on 05/07/2008, -0/+45Who are you who are wise in the ways of science?
    • burnstyle, on 05/07/2008, -0/+19I am Arthur, King of the Britons!
      • TheMastahC, on 05/07/2008, -3/+3Some call me....................... Tim.
    • RedHerringHack, on 05/07/2008, -0/+14King of the Who?
      • Tssst, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7The Britons
        • sindex, on 05/07/2008, -0/+8Who are the Britons?
        • FunkyWitDaSysTm, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7We all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king.
        • Muffinhunter, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6well i didn't know we had a king.
        • dptechie, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6I thought we were an autonomous collective.
        • azimir, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
        • chinny009, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.
        • talonstriker, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1That's what it's all about if only people would--
    • tafkaz, on 05/07/2008, -12/+5No. Just stop. It's already been done twice before in these comments. Someone posts one line from the movie, then someone posts a line from the same scene, then someone posts an almost completely unrelated line from the movie. Now we just watch and wait for an xkcd to turn up.
      • FunkyWitDaSysTm, on 05/07/2008, -0/+12I fart in you general direction!
        • Avngr75, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries!
      • actionscripted, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6When you understand how Digg comments work, you will most definitely be buried for explaining it in a comment.

        That said, XKCD FTW -- always.
      • trogdoor, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6http://xkcd.com/16/
  • EarlOfLade, on 05/07/2008, -4/+10Where is Dumbledore when you need him to whack some sense into that schoolboard?
  • Apocolypse007, on 05/07/2008, -0/+46its easy to tell if he is a wizard! You just have to see if he weighs the same as a duck
    • Farceur318, on 05/07/2008, -1/+12Build a bridge out of him!
      • TheThirdLevel, on 05/07/2008, -13/+1Let's get over the Monty Python stuff, we did this a thousand times now.
    • nukethewhales, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1Its a fair cop.
  • joshzweig, on 05/07/2008, -1/+30....Piculas said he did not know f any other accusations that would have led to the action....

    OMG! He took the 'O' out of the 'of'!
    • TheThirdLevel, on 05/07/2008, -0/+15Vanishing spell...that bastard.
  • Hegemony, on 05/07/2008, -0/+25I see... and will they be stoning him in the town square soon? Or perhaps they'll just sink him in the river to see if he drowns (thus exonerating him).
  • Shaqueefa, on 05/07/2008, -0/+37Please, please, PLEASE tell me this is a joke. I mean, really, wizardry?

    It's not even a cool trick, Criss Angel showed everyone how to do it:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=9fdXN_99EkI
    • DrPh0bius, on 05/07/2008, -1/+22You miss the point. The issue with these particular people is that magic is against "the lords" laws.
      I lived in Florida for a few years, and these people are not in the minority! There was a group where I worked that petitioned managment to force a couple of guys who worked in the warehouse to stop wearing Harry Potter shirts, because it was religiously offensive.
      • iamafatguy, on 05/07/2008, -1/+7Why are you digging DrPh0bius down?
        • 47f0, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7I'm not digging him down - I live in FL, and I hit his thumbs-up with my special power mouse, after casting a repetition spell on the icon - still not much help, I'm afraid. There is not a laser range finder powerful enough to plumb the depths of the massive sinkhole of ignorance in this state. After all, we voted for Bush... then Bush... Then freakin' Hillary.
    • nyx210, on 05/07/2008, -1/+11These religious idiots need to be exterminated.
      • 47f0, on 05/07/2008, -0/+5Not necessary. I think you'll find if you just enforce the existing (but ignored) incest laws, this situation will sort itself out in a couple of generations.
      • jacintoo, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2You sounds like a dalek.
  • induren, on 05/07/2008, -1/+5feeeeeeeking idiots
  • Obsession88, on 05/07/2008, -4/+28Accused of wizardry? What would kick ass!!
    • Hegemony, on 05/07/2008, -0/+25Indeed? What would kick ass?
      • DrPh0bius, on 05/07/2008, -0/+14Being accused of wizardry perhaps? We may never know what he thinks would kick ass...
      • 1timeuser, on 05/07/2008, -1/+12I actually know what would kick ass, but I will never tell you.
        • Avngr75, on 05/07/2008, -0/+9I just read his mind and...

          It's nothing THAT special.
        • Anonchrist, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1He is a wizard! Revoke his membership!
  • posermobile, on 05/07/2008, -4/+15He turned me into a newt!
  • Vindexus, on 05/07/2008, -0/+100I was expecting this to be from the Onion.
    • Anonchrist, on 05/07/2008, -1/+2The Onion sounds like a Florida news paper, so that is fair...
  • rhustang, on 05/07/2008, -1/+32as long as he didn't put on his robe and wizard hat, i don't see the problem.
  • Elliottx, on 05/07/2008, -12/+2*Watches the flood of Harry Potter jokes*
    • TheThirdLevel, on 05/07/2008, -7/+1*Cries at the flood of Monty Python references*
  • FuckingCotter, on 05/07/2008, -0/+35Next in Med-*****-ieval Times news...
  • duhduhduh, on 05/07/2008, -0/+18Boggles the freaking mind. I thought we were living in the 20th, uh pardon me, 21st century.
  • DaLukeMan, on 05/07/2008, -2/+19BURN THE WITCH!!!!!
  • trp5023, on 05/07/2008, -0/+39"performance issues including wizardry" When I heard that "performance issues" I recognized typical school district Cover Your Butt terminology. We didn't fire him because he's GAY, we fired him because of "performance issues" We didn't fire her for being DIVORCED, we fired her for "performance issues". Then I heard that wizardry is a performance issue. What. The. Heck?

    Do you think this would laughable case would go away if he just showed them how to do it? (hint: check the youtubes, it's probably out there already)..
    • DrPh0bius, on 05/07/2008, -0/+12No. You have to understand that there are a lot, and I mean A LOT of people who are basically evengelicals, and they think that magic is the devils work. They picket Harry Potter movies for craps sake! They know he isnt an actual wizard, they believe he is pushing anti-christian morals.
    • juusux, on 05/07/2008, -0/+3religious nuts like these try to hard, they're gonna go to hell anyways. god tells them to love thy neighbor, doesn't specify what religion said neighbors believe in.
    • bluesdealer, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1If you read the full story on MSNBC, he actually DID show the students how to perform the trick.
  • desqjockey, on 05/07/2008, -3/+33You know youre a redneck when...
    • Rodman930, on 05/07/2008, -1/+26Dat boy dun disappeared a stick!
    • down4twenty, on 05/07/2008, -6/+3you know you're a redneck when you dress and behave as such
    • bot001220, on 05/07/2008, -1/+3You equate "science" with "black magic".
      • bluesdealer, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2It's not science; it's sleight-of-hand.
  • DeathJux, on 05/07/2008, -0/+229Haha, The Onion is so hilarious... oh... wait. Oh no. :-(
  • crazyjake, on 05/07/2008, -1/+158well, if he was able to fool everyone with that trick, he can just put on a fake mustache and come back the next day.
    • guany, on 05/07/2008, -0/+20Hello, my name is Mr. Burns.

      Ok, first name sir?

      I .....don't.....know.
    • shamanlife, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7I think I will head down to florida next week and try to get change for my trillion dollar bill that Castro gave me.
  • mrgeekguy, on 05/07/2008, -0/+49He stole several of the children's souls when he took their pictures.
  • dib2, on 05/07/2008, -3/+16When I read the title, I thought it was going to be about the KKK.
    • 47f0, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7A common misconception about Florida. It's an undeserved slam, and you should retract your egregious statement. No proper Florida Cracker would put up with those liberal, tolerant pussies in the KKK.
  • SportsViewer, on 05/07/2008, -10/+2I'm still waiting for my owl to go to Hogwarts... it just got a bit sidetracked.
  • Farceur318, on 05/07/2008, -8/+3WHAT.
  • YZBot, on 05/07/2008, -0/+31More proof that we live among idiots. More alarming is that they are in positions of power above us. I'm sure everyone has had atleast one idiot supervisor that made you wonder how they even got there.
    • Aensland, on 05/07/2008, -0/+3Cronyism, nepotism.
    • juusux, on 05/07/2008, -1/+2oh god yes. foreign fast food manager who got his employees to do computer literacy tests for him, and that was only one thing of many. his higher ups didn't care when i told them about it either, probably didn't want to spend the money to replace him.
  • onionlayer, on 05/07/2008, -0/+19I wish they would show this on the news in the rest of the country so we could all laugh at Florida... well at least the rest of the country that doesn't believe in witchcraft.
  • greenwald, on 05/07/2008, -1/+48Something tells me he is going to be showing that toothpick trick to the US Supreme Court soon.
  • budgetguitar, on 05/07/2008, -1/+22Being accused of Wizardry is a GOOD thing. Now, Warlocketry... that's another story.
    • mcdropkicker, on 05/07/2008, -0/+12Is that a merit badge? Because that sounds AWESOME.
  • justwan, on 05/07/2008, -0/+91Wizardry? Seriously? Seriously!? SERIOUSLY!?
    • twiztidsinz, on 05/07/2008, -0/+6srsly
    • jun2san, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1That's what the article says. That's the article says. THATS WHAT THE ARTICLE SAYS!!
  • charliebucketts, on 05/07/2008, -3/+17
    Wow, can we call this off. I everyone knows god and magic are both imaginary, right?
    • Dumbledorito, on 05/07/2008, -1/+17I've never seen God do the toothpick trick. So far, this guy's one up on the man upstairs.
    • 47f0, on 05/07/2008, -0/+5Scoff if you will, CharlieB - but someone made a word disappear from your post. Try explaining that away, skeptic.
  • xDynaBlade, on 05/07/2008, -3/+13He turned me into a newt!
  • OffPiste, on 05/07/2008, -0/+27Integrating by parts, now that's wizardry.
    • mcdropkicker, on 05/07/2008, -0/+10Yes. After 4 quarters of Calculus, still yes.
    • noahgelman, on 05/07/2008, -0/+5I actually have my AP Calculus Test in the morning. Im pretty psyched for it.
    • woofboy111, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1oh no... I was considering subbing. That pesky intergration by parts ruins it. If normal intergration by parts is wizardry, what is intergrating using tabular method?
    • diggrnumber1, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1and the formula is easy to derive, too!
    • talonstriker, on 05/07/2008, -0/+2Intergrating by parts? Pssh thats easy. But trigonometric substitutions--thats REAL wizardry. You need to know a crap load of spells to do anything.
      • woofboy111, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1I actually find the real wizardry to be able to figure out when to use all of the different techniques. Trig substitution isn't so bad once you get the hang of it. It's just really, really long...
      • DharmaTurtle, on 05/08/2008, -0/+1I'm in differential equations, and have forgotten how to do trig substitution. I'm doomed.
        (And, while we're being nerds, integration by parts is easypeasy. You have a formula and everything. Now, Laplace Transformations... holy cripes that's hard. Friggin gamma function and other words you wouldn't understand.)
  • alienunknown, on 05/07/2008, -0/+7wtf?
    I was surprised to find that this article isn't from the onion...

  • moolaismyfriend, on 05/07/2008, -6/+7I told you Harry Potter is going to be the down fall of mankind!
    • Barclay1188, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1Isn't that the supposed to be the Dragon Reborn?
  • SpeedSteamBoat, on 05/07/2008, -1/+92That's it, Florida. You're out of the union!
    • desqjockey, on 05/07/2008, -2/+23Puerto Rico, youre up!
      • Avngr75, on 05/07/2008, -2/+2Apostrophe please, though kudos for using the correct you're.
    • headzoo, on 05/07/2008, -1/+12Which should have let the whole lot of them secede when they wanted to.
    • jaydoj, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4I'm sorry Florida...but the tribe has spoken.
    • soulkitchen, on 05/07/2008, -0/+4Can we make them Spain's problem again? Or use them as a prison colony, it would be fun to have a judge sentence someone to Disney World.
      • Teh1337Pirate, on 05/07/2008, -1/+3We already use them as a prison colony...for the elderly and retired people....now if we could only put all of them there.
    • Demener, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1God I hate this fetid swamp so much. I spent 3 years of high school in Pasco County. Most of the kids were dumber than bricks and only a few of the teachers were even remotely competent.
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