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A hilarious craigslist ad "with a twist"

i17.tinypic.com — A Craigslist adult ad (with the naughty bits thankfully censored). This guy really has some very specific needs. Any takers?

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  • gbarberi, on 12/06/2007, -3/+145Uh... that's some fantasy.
    • Dylson, on 12/06/2007, -4/+18...
    • gijoel, on 12/06/2007, -1/+10Why you could have gone home any time you wanted. All you had to do was jerk you man ***** and say there's no place like home
    • StealthMonkey, on 12/06/2007, -0/+31I don't understand why everyone is making fun of my craigslist ad. Sure, maybe my dreams are dangerous and maybe even impossible, but does that mean I shouldn't dream?
    • DrGonzo, on 12/06/2007, -3/+1Holy Sh!t
    • SquigglyP, on 12/06/2007, -0/+32This guy doesn't need porn. Just the Weather Channel.
      • CoopSa, on 12/06/2007, -0/+28and another dude to JO with... but none of that gay stuff!
      • bigt8dogg, on 12/06/2007, -1/+3"OH *****! IT'S RAININ!!! C'MON MAN!!!! OH OH OH!!!"

        Yeah dude... Good luck stayin' hard with yer life "hangin' in the wind"...

        Other people's kids, I'm tellin' ya.
    • shaherazad, on 12/06/2007, -0/+16Who hasn't fantasized about ejaculating into a tornado?
    • JettaMan, on 12/06/2007, -1/+8JO... jump off? jack out? I just can't figure it out.
  • novadaemon, on 12/06/2007, -8/+295My country never ceases to disturb me.
    • nphase, on 12/06/2007, -5/+33Only in Texas.
    • rugby4ward, on 12/06/2007, -0/+7That is very ***** up.
    • Pillage, on 12/06/2007, -0/+34I can't imagine a first date.
      Girl: So what is your ultimate fantasy.
      Guy: well, it's a little silly. It's to Jack off a hairy straight guy into a tornado and have our semen be sucked up into the belly of the beast...so uh..there's that.
    • stephant, on 12/06/2007, -6/+6My country has never made me more proud. For whatever faults you have found with this country, at least we're free to be weird (and stupid . . . I'm looking at you, Digg Commenters). Try running this ad in Iran and see what happens. Oh wait, here's what happens:

      http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/7/21/1879/65145

      . . . And it's on dailykos so I don't want to hear you fools tell me I hate Iran or Islam or something. There were better articles about it but I chose to link this one to head off debate from the people that can't think at all.
      • lpse2000, on 12/06/2007, -3/+2Wow, is that Amaeinejad in their cage with them tormenting them before they are killed? What sick ***** that horrible regime is.
        • stephant, on 12/06/2007, -2/+2Fine logic. Apply that logic to Bush and you'll impress me. Seriously, give it a shot. By the way, you were one of the people I was "looking at".
          • lpse2000, on 12/06/2007, -1/+2Hey brutha, I don't know if you detected sarcasm, but I was being serious. That is a horrible regime.
  • Frostman3D, on 12/06/2007, -4/+236That's the most absurd JO fantasy I've ever heard. And I thought I had some weird JO fantasies. (PM me...)
    • scott2007, on 12/06/2007, -2/+99How many PM's have you received so far?
    • davidrools, on 12/06/2007, -0/+82I've never heard the term JO until now...and didn't know people fantasized about em...but I guess if you had to have one, unloading into a tornado would be pretty cool.
      Not sure about having a "JO bud" though...sounds kinda gay
      • pretendr, on 12/06/2007, -0/+87kinda?
        • dumpyhumpy, on 12/06/2007, -0/+62No, sorry, you're wrong. Must've missed the second line : "No gay stuff"

          Just a man looking for a hairy hand job from a dude during a tornado. That's all. Texans don't take too kindly to folks insinuating such things.
          • adrianmonk, on 12/06/2007, -3/+17Yeah, what is it with the "no gay stuff" type of comments in personal ads? I hate to break it to this guy, but if your ultimate sexual fantasy involves another man's hands on your penis (and/or the other way around), THEN YOU ARE GAY.

            (And also in major denial, for what it's worth.)
    • dankosaur, on 12/06/2007, -20/+9Jacked off by Kevin Rose? Come on, that's a pretty common fantasy around here.
    • skatiN64, on 12/06/2007, -0/+1I would if I knew how, for shame
    • curiousgrge, on 12/06/2007, -1/+1Could be worse... it could be a JO to OJ fantasy.
      • BoneheadFarker, on 12/06/2007, -2/+1That's a new one. I've never actually heard of an orange juice fetish before...
  • econojon, on 12/06/2007, -1/+230This man is straight? Really?!
    • mfpratte, on 12/06/2007, -1/+67thats what he keeps telling himself
    • AmICoolNow, on 12/06/2007, -1/+62Well he did say no gay stuff...
      • turpenine, on 12/06/2007, -0/+35not gay like handjobs or anything.
        • evodude, on 12/06/2007, -0/+23Uless they're tied to the pole and there's a tornado. But it's still not gay because...stuff.
    • anonymous666, on 12/06/2007, -0/+70As long as the balls are not touching
    • bman784, on 12/06/2007, -2/+47What straight man wouldn't want a JO buddy?
    • TConX, on 12/06/2007, -0/+41"I'm not gay, but I've always had this fantasy where another guy jacks me off in the middle of a tornado... NOT GAY!!!"
    • whatsupimphil, on 12/06/2007, -0/+22"straight guys only,no gay stuff... poss. handjob exchange"

      uh huh
    • falstaff, on 12/06/2007, -1/+35Straight as a Senator.
    • standsolid, on 12/06/2007, -0/+2Yeah, that kind of stuff is contagious.

      Don't want to get any gay inside of your tornado JO fantasy.
    • stilesja, on 12/06/2007, -0/+7Look the guy practically called "No *****". You can't call him gay if he says "No *****". Thats the rules.
  • ani625, on 12/06/2007, -9/+107Gay. not that theres anything wrong with it.
    • 2Deluxe, on 12/06/2007, -2/+121Man + Man = Gay. Why do some people refuse to accept this?
      • sgtbutterscotch, on 12/06/2007, -1/+15But it is not gay if a man watches another man jack off and they are not gay.
      • Namaha, on 12/06/2007, -2/+6Because they're from Texas, and being gay offends God.
    • Starskey, on 12/06/2007, -1/+13No of course not!
      • racer108, on 12/06/2007, -1/+5I mean, that's fine if that's who you are.
    • JaredXM, on 12/06/2007, -0/+3My father's gay!
    • K4P741NxKRUNCH, on 12/06/2007, -1/+7I would love to digg up that comment, but I think I'm going to leave it at 69 diggs.
    • patch6, on 12/06/2007, -0/+6Can't a guy jack off into a tornado with another guy without being called gay?
    • charlietuna, on 12/06/2007, -1/+1I just wanna be loved.. Is that so wrooong!
  • heat0, on 12/06/2007, -4/+332straight guys only no gay stuff
    • mfpratte, on 12/06/2007, -0/+45such as masturbating together
    • XenoSNK, on 12/06/2007, -11/+4I just thought I'd comment on your 69 diggs.
    • maci01, on 12/06/2007, -1/+6Maybe he meant no nancy gays.
      • scbysnx, on 12/06/2007, -0/+10yeah, no fairy stuff like kissin and huggin. Just straight gay watchin each other jack off.
    • littlebear, on 12/06/2007, -0/+2no Gay man i know has that kind of fantasy.... must be a straight thing.
    • SubFrequency, on 12/09/2007, -0/+1I'm just a vegan looking for someone to enjoy a nice hamburger with. Hit me up!
  • ducksinthewind, on 12/06/2007, -12/+4um, and that would be manly disregard for the fact ... he lives in a dump! ok, all told, this ad is ewwwwwww
    • micahkl, on 12/06/2007, -0/+15The fact that he lives in a dump proves that he's straight. Don't let the possible handjob exchange fool you.
  • ripstuntz, on 12/06/2007, -1/+285Poor guy, just looking for a vortex of man love.

    BTW -- How do you find this ***** BabyMan? Do you ever sleep?
    • str3ama, on 12/06/2007, -31/+6the better question is Why did BabyMan contact him...




      just kidding..don't kill me
      • evilesttoast, on 12/06/2007, -2/+19 We'll do the Digg equivalent of killing. Burying!
    • theskunkworks, on 12/06/2007, -4/+32it was on reddit's front page yesterday
    • triblinator, on 12/06/2007, -0/+5Back when there was a story about the strangest craigslist ads, someone posted a link to this in the comments. I saw it then... its possible (though I insinuate nothing) that he saw it too, and submitted it now because it works well with the picture section.
      • capiCrimm, on 12/06/2007, -2/+8more likely he stole it from reddit yesterday.
    • andy17null, on 12/06/2007, -0/+2He got it from a Somethingawful photoshop. It's the second link in the article text on yesterday's update:
      http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/burgin-ii.php
  • greasedupduck, on 12/06/2007, -4/+5thats umm...something
  • BackEnThaWomb, on 12/06/2007, -12/+11lol, dick pics.
  • modderphucker, on 12/06/2007, -2/+96whats next? skeet in the eye of a hurricane?
    • D3koy, on 12/06/2007, -0/+15Well who hasn't done that...
    • vsujohn2, on 12/06/2007, -1/+4Skeet in the eye Hurts! You better thing before you do that!
  • mdjohnson1, on 12/06/2007, -11/+77Twister is not THAT good of a movie.
    • dagnabbit, on 12/06/2007, -4/+22Quite the contrary, if you ask me.
    • G-RaZoR, on 12/06/2007, -1/+23Actually it won an oscar....for best movie ever made.
    • DrGonzo, on 12/06/2007, -2/+2I think Shania Twain's music video made the movie that much more enjoyable. I'd almost say it was better than the movie.


      Helen Hunt!?. What edge of the world did she fall off of?
    • clickwir, on 12/06/2007, -1/+1I don't think it's so much that the movie was good, I think he might just get aroused by a tornado and the movie just happens to be a good example he can use.
    • ch0irb0y, on 12/07/2007, -0/+0sar-casm: a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark:
  • pedrovoltaire, on 12/06/2007, -16/+7"cocaine is a very powerful drug"
    • whitezombie420, on 12/06/2007, -2/+42"cocaine is a *hell of a* drug"
    • andregriffin, on 12/06/2007, -3/+5Can't stay here, this is bat country
      • capiCrimm, on 12/06/2007, -1/+5"We can't stop here, this is bat country!" ~ Fear and Loathing

        and a `He's my doctor and it's heart medicine` type of quote would have been a better fit.
    • CyclonusRIP, on 12/06/2007, -1/+16Of all the things cocaine makes a person do, I'm pretty sure it wont turn you gay and give you fantasies about having a circle jerk inside a tornado. You might wanna ask your minister about that just to make sure though.
  • str3ama, on 12/06/2007, -9/+38Asides from the fact that this guy is in denial about being gay or bi, he simply doesn't understand the physics behind a tornado. How exactly do you climax 'into' the tornado without getting sucked in yourself..that's some really messed up cartoon physics..
    • greenlight2001, on 12/06/2007, -2/+110HELLO?! Leather straps tied to some pipes! DUH!
    • Joshuarr, on 12/06/2007, -0/+45The trick is to find a tornado strong enough to suck your goo, but not strong enough to suck you. It's tricky, and risky, like the man said --- but not impossible.
      • clickwir, on 12/06/2007, -0/+12Remove "tornado" replace with "woman".
        • Drakoola, on 12/07/2007, -0/+1Wow nice that makes the original post almost twice as good.
    • davidrools, on 12/06/2007, -0/+32Yeah and hopefully you don't get impaled by the debris flying all around you at a hundred mph. i guess if you're in to THAT kind of penetration.
    • ophello, on 12/06/2007, -0/+15the debris that hits you at 250mph will probably make you soft...
    • clickwir, on 12/06/2007, -0/+6I don't think he specified that he wouldn't get sucked into the tornado. Or even that they would survive the ordeal.... he's just looking for the goo into the tornado effect. Anything after that is upto your imagination. Damnit, didn't he do enough of the imagining for you!?!? :-p
      • str3ama, on 12/06/2007, -1/+2I really wonder if this guy found someone willing to do this with him..I can just see the headline 6 months from now:
        "2 Men die in freak tornado accident.
        The men were found naked 3 km from what looked to be a cattle post. Police report that a sign found in the vicinity proclaiming "I'm not Gay". Anyone with information on the incident is asked to talk to police"
  • ycohain, on 12/06/2007, -2/+115Sounds like fun, I'm already a JO bud with someone who is into Armageddon and was looking for some Liv Tyler/Ben Affleck animal cracker magic...
    • stilesja, on 12/06/2007, -0/+4Mmmmm.... fresh glazed animal crackers.
  • buddamus, on 12/06/2007, -4/+5I'm scared
  • Sell, on 12/06/2007, -2/+14Holy Hell.
  • renagadex2, on 12/06/2007, -2/+155We have a level 5 semen twister heading our way!
    • notoneofus, on 12/06/2007, -5/+18If a tornado can drive a piece of straw through a telephone pole, what will it do with a torrent of jizz?
      • Chaoticfist, on 12/06/2007, -0/+26I am so disturbed right now that something like that even passed through your mind....
      • Namaha, on 12/06/2007, -0/+20Dugg for the concept of torrential jizz.
        • Joshuarr, on 12/06/2007, -0/+9I just registered torrentialjizz.com -- will be posting pictures soon.
        • RetroEvolute, on 12/06/2007, -0/+2You were serious...
      • pendrachken, on 12/06/2007, -0/+3Download it.... as long as it isn't using comcasts networks anyways....
      • mattcoady, on 12/06/2007, -0/+6Sounds like the premise for the movie "Pregnant town"
  • mceggy, on 12/06/2007, -1/+24I'm stuck as to what to flag it as...
    All of the above?
  • shadowspawn, on 12/06/2007, -4/+3I knew this had to be about using a hand, a twisting motion with something, and a picture advert if it was from craigslist. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    If you close your eyes and ignore the tickle of the mustache...
  • ieataquacrayons, on 12/06/2007, -0/+21I'm going to it, so I can vote it best of craigslist.
    • ieataquacrayons, on 12/06/2007, -1/+6Didn't realize the date was 10-23. Fail.
  • gormenghast, on 12/06/2007, -10/+22No one else agree that minus the dude in the ad, this would be awesome?
    • gormenghast, on 12/06/2007, -4/+30i cant believe no one wants to nut into a twister. come on guys.
      • str3ama, on 12/06/2007, -0/+2reading your comment just made me realize something..sure you jizz into the twister, but what goes up must come down. Theirs a chance that it's going to come flying down on someone's head, face, house or car..and you can only hope that they take it as bird poop.
    • sgtpppr, on 12/06/2007, -1/+8with another guy? The point of the ad isn't to do it solo...it's to find another guy to do it with.
      • str3ama, on 12/06/2007, -0/+1actually the point isn't so much that its another man, but that he's fantasizing about jizzing into a tornado.
    • clickwir, on 12/06/2007, -0/+3No.
  • ClockworksNine, on 12/06/2007, -2/+40He should go to 4chan, there are a lot of JOs there, a few assholes too.
    • homersaysdoh, on 12/06/2007, -8/+5Rules 1 and 2...
      • ShadySpace, on 12/06/2007, -1/+10***** Anon and their rules.
      • Namaha, on 12/06/2007, -0/+13*sigh*

        1. Rules 1 and two specify to not mention /b/, they say nothing of 4chan as a whole.
        2. ONLY APPLIES ON RAIDS.

        but no one cares about raids anymore, so rules 1 & 2 can go die.
  • syl1985, on 12/06/2007, -13/+64What the ***** is a JO?!
    • inotocracy, on 12/06/2007, -1/+51Jack off.
    • pilot3033, on 12/06/2007, -15/+35You... you are kidding, right?
      • syl1985, on 12/06/2007, -11/+23No, I'm not kidding - I don't read the ***** classifieds like a tard so I am not up on the lonely acronyms.
    • homersaysdoh, on 12/06/2007, -1/+102Job offering...DUH!
    • unearth, on 12/06/2007, -1/+75I have never come across that acronym before.
    • ophello, on 12/06/2007, -3/+5urbandictionary...try it
      • stuffelse, on 12/06/2007, -1/+4yeah right, you didn't need urbandictionary, you already knew that
    • dawheelo, on 12/06/2007, -4/+14you
  • ChaosProfessor, on 12/06/2007, -3/+43when i joined the police i thought there would be semen everywhere
    • ecoyd1, on 12/06/2007, -1/+19I assume you all have guns and crack.
    • 2Deluxe, on 12/06/2007, -6/+2Isnt that why you get your uniform cleaned?
      • ChaosProfessor, on 12/06/2007, -1/+10you looser you haven't seen superbad
    • aspec, on 12/06/2007, -1/+4No, you misunderstood, there are lots of sea men... ex navy. Especially swat, it's all ex delta and seals these days. Sorry to disappoint.
      • SPECOPS, on 12/06/2007, -1/+0You mean those are all the ones who can't make it past hell week, and drop out.
  • laterthandawn, on 12/06/2007, -0/+78That shot right past "disturbing" and well into "WTF" territory.

    As an aside, I wish I had enough free time to dream up "JO" fantasies of such epic proportions. I wonder what that guy does for work.
    • pilot3033, on 12/06/2007, -0/+11he's been around for 59 years.

      I'm sure by the time anyone gets to that age, one would have constructed many interesting fantasies.
    • greenlight2001, on 12/06/2007, -3/+1Retired. Said it right there in the text. Just had to, you know... read it.
    • kilric, on 12/06/2007, -1/+29State Senator.
      • adrianmonk, on 12/06/2007, -3/+0Please don't say that. The ad was posted to the Houston craigslist, and I happen to live in the capital city of Texas. Which means if he were a state senator, that puts him about 150 miles nearer to me than previously thought. This is not what I want.
        • BoneheadFarker, on 12/06/2007, -0/+1I'm pretty sure that there are people at your work or in your neighbourhood like that. Well...maybe not like THAT guy, but there must be guys with freaky fantasies walking by you everyday...
    • Nichiren, on 12/06/2007, -3/+4Let's all just hope that he doesn't work anywhere near kids. And yes, that was full of epic WTF.
  • beedo34, on 12/06/2007, -4/+5haha. it happened in houston. i'm gonna have to watch out for this freak.
    but, after all, crystal meth does horrible things to people.
  • XTCinOvaltine, on 12/06/2007, -2/+13Quick question: How did you find this?
    • greenlight2001, on 12/06/2007, -0/+14You don't perouse the adult ads on craiglist? Makes for a good laugh.
  • BD86, on 12/06/2007, -4/+2All I can say is WTF!?!
  • illusionweaver, on 12/06/2007, -3/+1Wow. Just wow. And I thought I was messed up....
  • joshuaer, on 12/06/2007, -7/+2And now thanks to digg they guy who he works with who is also into this will hook up with him. The bad news every one know!
  • nudedos, on 12/06/2007, -0/+83As long as there is no "gay stuff" I'm down.
    • str3ama, on 12/06/2007, -1/+3I would classify giving another guy a handjob as 'gay stuff'..but hey that's just me.
  • Balath, on 12/06/2007, -7/+2This is possibly not real. Damn if it is, but I'm skeptical. He lost me with his ultimate fantasy. Regardless, I think we should ALL respond to him.
  • supahbaaad, on 12/06/2007, -4/+1seriously! i wanna do that tornado thing to like the one in the movie twister, but definitely not with this guy!!!!
  • BigTun4, on 12/06/2007, -0/+29I had no idea two guys could "Exchange Handjobs" and it not be "Gay stuff"? :-O
    • Jareth86, on 12/06/2007, -3/+61Clearly, you've never been to the republican national convention.
  • altautah, on 12/06/2007, -0/+23deploy dorthy!!!! DEPLOY DORTHY!!!!
  • treas, on 12/06/2007, -0/+58I was about to go jack off

    and then i read this.
    • floridiot2, on 12/06/2007, -0/+14Then you got a buddy.
    • stilesja, on 12/06/2007, -0/+7So what stopped you? Did you decide to wait for a tornado?
  • ygarcia, on 12/06/2007, -0/+13I can't wait for his wife to stumble upon this while looking for used couches on CL.
  • kilric, on 12/06/2007, -4/+1I'm glad to see this freak isn't in Florida. LoL
  • ginsu, on 12/06/2007, -1/+2wow...just wow.
  • browwiw, on 12/06/2007, -3/+25It's ***** like this that makes wish I still smoked pot.
    • GuacamoleSan, on 12/06/2007, -0/+1*Sigh* even with smoking pot this is still disturbing, just prevents you from throwing up in shock
  • colinbrady, on 12/06/2007, -9/+4I didn't find it hilarious...
  • xlar54, on 12/06/2007, -1/+16Well, at least he had the sense to realize that being inside a vortex while JO-ing is not safe. Stick with chaining yourself to pipes while outside JOing to a tornado a mile or so away. Yeah... thats better...
  • johnsonjoeb, on 12/06/2007, -0/+9So...if I go, am I upwind or downwind of you?
  • XXXXXXXXXXXXXX, on 12/06/2007, -3/+4just tell me the place and time baby
  • micahkl, on 12/06/2007, -1/+1Why get a twister to suck you off when Houston is crawling with hookers?

    Uh, allegedly...
  • sfcaptainrob, on 12/06/2007, -3/+11God bless Texas.
  • Sithlrd, on 12/06/2007, -1/+11"It's not THAT the wind is blowin... it's WHAT the wind is blowin."
    • SteelFrog, on 12/06/2007, -0/+2Don't worry, it won't be a Volvo this time around.
      • darlingt, on 12/06/2007, -0/+3And from the looks of that ad, it won't be a vulva either.

        Sorry; I had to.
    • BoneheadFarker, on 12/06/2007, -1/+0You call your boyfriend "The Wind"?
  • synapzgap, on 12/06/2007, -0/+4Is that Senator LARRY Craig's list?

    But seriously...

    W T F ?
  • BigBucksT, on 12/06/2007, -0/+6***** hilarious. My God this is a funny country.
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