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whowillsurvive2012.com - The Mayan Calendar predicts the end of time: 2012. See the trailer for 2012, opening November 13.
366 Comments
- ScottMitchell, on 10/25/2008, -7/+687Despite the article's title, there were 40 rules written down on the page, plain as day. Unwritten, my ass.
- inactive, on 10/25/2008, -18/+37341. Don't read stupid lists.
- d0nkeym0nkey, on 10/25/2008, -10/+330Men's health is full of *****.
- 9bpm9, on 10/25/2008, -7/+269Are these the 40 unwritten rules a douchebag lives by?
- Trekhawk, on 10/25/2008, -14/+2761. Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex....instead ask if you may thrust your penis in and out of her vagina until you ejaculate. Much classier.
- inactive, on 10/25/2008, -6/+223title should be: 40 Rules to be a Shallow Prick
- inactive, on 10/25/2008, -9/+213wow what a ***** ***** list
- MyNameIsGusto, on 10/25/2008, -0/+19819. Do not bring lunch to work.
So, buy it? ***** that, I'm not spending $7+ a day at the commissary. - foltaggio, on 10/25/2008, -3/+18041. Always put your lists on one page.
- ZincSaucier, on 10/25/2008, -3/+13941. browsers are capable of loading more than they could in 1994 so put the entire list on one page
- Dropperbr, on 10/25/2008, -20/+151I like turtles
- Conguent, on 10/25/2008, -3/+130It seems more like "40 rules to make people think you give a *****."
- Duffle, on 10/25/2008, -1/+115..What a load of *****. "Do not bring lunch to work." What the ***** is that supposed to prove? You don't know ***** about how to spend your money?
- silentforest, on 10/25/2008, -19/+13331. Do not come on to the new female pastor, unless she winks at you during the sermon.
AHH! Palin winked at all of us! - dannyboy3020, on 10/25/2008, -10/+117"15. Easy on the mayo!"
Just one of many ***** "rules" in this article - Rikushix, on 10/25/2008, -2/+97Some of these are semi-motivational but some of these are just stupid. They can't honestly tell you to bring wine worth no more than 15 bucks to dinner parties and ALSO tell you not to bring lunch to work.
- wrzhydr, on 10/25/2008, -1/+86doesn't leave me much options then..
- inactive, on 10/25/2008, -2/+85Damn, now I have to get rid of my 1" tattoo.
- rambamslam, on 10/25/2008, -4/+806. When someone in your family is going through a divorce, always side with the blood relative.
But what if in my situation, my dad's brother is married to my mom's sister? - BIOHazard87, on 10/25/2008, -19/+891. Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex.
2. It is more important to have good health insurance than good health.
3. Don't bluff more than once in a poker game with friends.
4. When one of the big bosses at work unexpectedly says something really cheery and friendly to you, he means absolutely nothing by it. Not even if he's your father.
5. Wear as much black as you can. It makes you look slimmer and cooler. But avoid black jeans.
6. When someone in your family is going through a divorce, always side with the blood relative.
7. Pointedly praising something unusual a person owns or has done will make you appear far smarter in his eyes than a 10-minute discourse on world events.
8. Yes, speak softly and carry a big stick. But don't mumble. And don't swing the stick.
9. The man who can't dance, can't converse, and can't provide psychological support to a woman is only half a man; the other half can't cook, can't clean, and badly wants a drink.
10. Do not get a visible tattoo larger than your penis.
11. Be aware that most people are operating on a very condensed version of the 10 Commandments: the part about murder.
12. There will be times when good neighbors are more important than a good neighborhood.
13. Telling a woman, "You're a great person," is taken as the lead-in to a confession that you don't love her.
14. Trying to "teach someone a lesson" never works.
15. Easy on the mayo!
16. Be careful about publicly discussing your hobbies, as most hobbies strike people as somewhat pathetic: most notably, collecting stamps, coins, or anything else, bird-watching, bowling, rockhounding, spelunking, table tennis, poetry, dog shows, chat rooms, polka music, yoga, herpetology, marathon running, and religion. The only hobbies you can safely own up to when among people you need to impress are fly-fishing and golf.
17. Never buy anyone a gift at a kiosk.
18. Never wear clothing that your coworkers avoid—the bow tie, the suspenders, the green suit. While you might think you're expressing your individuality, your colleagues will perceive it as a rejection of their group culture; you'll become a person who probably can't be trusted.
19. Do not bring lunch to work.
20. Rainbows are God's way of reminding us that beauty is an optical illusion, except in sports cars.
21. You will never become a rock star.
22. As you go through life, you will discover that more and more of the subjects you studied in college are useless, with the exception of abnormal psychology.
23. Never make any sort of generalization concerning gender, even if it's so true God himself would back you up.
24. Telling a person in management, "I'm a bit of a philosopher," means you're a total loser.
25. When running in the park on a hot day, do not take off your shirt if you are a really hairy sonofabitch.
26. Never hesitate to admit the error of your ways, when under oath in federal court.
27. Always wear freshly laundered or pressed clothing to work. Even one wrinkle will have certain coworkers creating—and perhaps sharing—scenarios of debauchery or financial distress.
28. Do not say hi to a perfect stranger in any town with a population over 2,000. The friendly gesture in Beaver Dam Falls is a scary act of aggression in Boston.
29. Always imply, in every possible way, that the person you're talking to is smarter, better-looking, slimmer, and more successful than they really are.
30. When choosing a bottle of wine to bring to a dinner party, spend between 10 and 15 dollars. That's for a bottle, not a gallon.
31. Do not come on to the new female pastor, unless she winks at you during the sermon.
32. An ounce of appearance is worth a pound of substance.
33. The way a woman looks, acts, and talks says nothing about how good she is in bed.
34. It is okay to admit in conversation that your accountant used his imagination to save you $500 in taxes, but never admit you saved 5 bucks by refilling the vodka bottle in the minibar with water.
35. Never get into a pissing match via e-mail. If he forwards, you lose.
36. Never suggest to another person at the gym that he's not working hard enough to accomplish anything.
37. People who live in glass houses are idiots.
38. Going insane while watching a great football game is a sign of mental health.
39. When a man meets another man, bonding begins when they both say things they hope no one else hears.
40. The person who sincerely says to you, "I want to get to know you better," is a person you don't want to know at all. - cbanner, on 10/25/2008, -3/+70If they're unwritten, how am I supposed to read them?
- Totz83, on 10/25/2008, -3/+67I failed on question 1
repeatedly - Llanowar, on 10/25/2008, -5/+66#1 - Just depends on what you're looking for. If you're just looking for sex I think it's fine to just ask for sex. Otherwise you might lead them on.
It also depends on what kind of girl you ask of course. And in what circles you hang out.
#2 - *****. I'd rather have good health than good health insurance.
Don't even want to continue reading. This is lame. - Narcism, on 10/26/2008, -2/+60Back of the knee?
- Jones82, on 10/25/2008, -1/+59That was a good one, plus the other 39
- Snakebane, on 10/25/2008, -1/+55 40 PREVIOUSLY Unwritten Rules to Live By.
- Hollowpoint, on 10/25/2008, -0/+53Thanks for copying and pasting a random part of the article, great contribution.
- MrsButtersworth, on 10/25/2008, -0/+53There's a reason these rules are 'unwritten'. They're stupid as *****.
- Narcism, on 10/26/2008, -2/+54Wrong, it was one page with javascript.
- fivenodes, on 10/25/2008, -6/+55Anus?
- JoshuaGross, on 10/25/2008, -2/+49I demand my 5 minutes back!
Ah screw it, I'd waste it anyway. - waxcrash, on 10/25/2008, -5/+49I have never met a straight man that reads Men's Health.
- GalacticRerun, on 10/25/2008, -6/+45I bring lunch to work. It's an act of coolness. In fact, I'm so cool, I even carry it in a plastic shopping bag.
Number 39 made me laugh though:
39. When a man meets another man, bonding begins when they both say things they hope no one else hears.
I did that recently, in fact, I did it by breaking number 23:
23. Never make any sort of generalization concerning gender, even if it's so true God himself would back you up. - wrzhydr, on 10/25/2008, -0/+39bringing my lunch saves me around $75 a week in food expenses. so ***** that rule.
- inactive, on 10/25/2008, -1/+3941. Never take advice from Menshealth.com
- DougUpndown, on 10/25/2008, -1/+38I'm not sure why you're being dugg down... usually, people get dugg up for condensing 4 pages into one single list.
Just one of the mysteries of Digg.com - iamdak, on 10/25/2008, -1/+36How about when your brother's wife is hot and ready?
- inactive, on 10/25/2008, -0/+34Yeah, I bring my lunch in a plastic Safeway bag too. I wonder what the problem with that is?
- orp2000, on 10/25/2008, -1/+3440 "unwritten" rules written by some vapid, empty-headed, generation nexter. Really stupid stuff trying to pass for entertaining and clever and achieving neither.
- JMCtg, on 10/25/2008, -4/+36Hey, at least they were all on one page... sorta
- spoogieking012, on 10/25/2008, -5/+36it wasn't written on "the page"
it was written across many pages - iamdak, on 10/25/2008, -1/+32Hopefully the diet is high in fiber.
- MrChunks, on 10/25/2008, -3/+33No, he's right. It's bollocks.
- drex8, on 10/25/2008, -0/+2841. Never sign up for any free trial issues.
- ABJ974, on 10/25/2008, -0/+28I definitely break the rule about bringing lunch to work.
- Yage2006, on 10/25/2008, -4/+32These look written down to me.
/Buried inaccurate - d0nkeym0nkey, on 10/25/2008, -2/+29oh boy, trust me, you don't even want to know
- mrswix, on 10/25/2008, -1/+28***** a!!
- bigfreakinlion, on 10/25/2008, -0/+27This list is designed for sycophantic pussies who are afraid of anything "outside of the box".
- hopefuel, on 10/25/2008, -0/+2640 typed rules to win at douchebaggery..
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