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126 Comments
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -4/+69....should be a mandatory class for all geeks.
- sockpuppets, on 10/11/2007, -3/+54I always wear my "It isn't going to suck itself!" tshirt. It's a hit with the ladies.
- timtimtimtim, on 10/11/2007, -3/+54How not to suck at socializing: stop playing World of WarCraft.
- shawshank62, on 10/11/2007, -1/+52That is all superb advice, but don't just read it...Go to the bar, bookstore, party, wherever and try it out. It means nothing if you never leave your comfort zone.
- Reywood, on 10/11/2007, -8/+52Do: Be attractive
Don't: Be unattractive
really all you need - illt, on 10/11/2007, -4/+44yes, very simple for those who don't have social anxiety.
- SteveyDevey, on 10/11/2007, -0/+21No, what's pretty pathetic is that you feel like you have to put people down who are just interested in better themselves and/or becoming more social.
- Cyberdactyl, on 10/11/2007, -0/+20This is good, basic advice.
I realize there will be many who put down the advice given, but remember, there are ten of thousands of people who have all but forgotten, or never learned, how to act in a mixed setting. - oMeSSiaHo, on 10/11/2007, -1/+21a·so·cial
1. not sociable or gregarious; withdrawn from society.
2. indifferent to or averse to conforming to conventional standards of behavior.
3. inconsiderate of others; selfish; egocentric.
an·ti·so·cial
1. unwilling or unable to associate in a normal or friendly way with other people: He's not antisocial, just shy.
2. antagonistic, hostile, or unfriendly toward others; menacing; threatening: an antisocial act.
3. opposed or detrimental to social order or the principles on which society is constituted: antisocial behavior.
4. Psychiatry. of or pertaining to a pattern of behavior in which social norms and the rights of others are persistently violated.
Sorry but that always sorta bothered me. - Djmc, on 10/11/2007, -0/+19I'm fine in social settings, around people i dont find sexually attractive, if there is a girl I like in a bar/club, my body starts doing things to me, the normal things stomach turns, sweaty palms, and I wont say a word. Why? I dont understand. (unless I've had a few beers)
If we talk about evolution, surely we should be in control of our bodies absolutely when we see someone we think are the right person to propogate, I think its a case of our bodies have not evolved at the same pace as our social setting - trer, on 10/11/2007, -2/+20So what do you do if you're ugly?
- wiremonkeymommy, on 10/11/2007, -2/+20I find politics or religion to be great conversation starters!!
- bachdog, on 10/11/2007, -0/+17"your smile should be mirrored and report will build from there."
didn't the author mean "rapport?" - marcosc, on 10/11/2007, -1/+17Don't pull an iPhone and pretend to be cool...
- Buckiller, on 10/11/2007, -1/+15"To Do:
....
Do stuff"
*sigh* - lolwutt, on 10/11/2007, -3/+17if that means "i have social anxiety so this doesn't apply to me" then you're sorely mistaken. Just battle social anxiety by putting yourself out there and talking to new people and it will be gone soon enough.
- madvibe, on 10/11/2007, -1/+14Not really. You never heard the expression social butterfly?
- thecompkid, on 10/11/2007, -1/+14Who you callin' geek?
...
Well, okay, maybe I am a geek. I mean, c'mon, I can't even *pretend* i'm not a geek. (notice asterisks, major geek sign, that, and actually knowing what they're called) (notice correct usage of they're, major geek sign as well) - otaking, on 10/11/2007, -0/+13End your sentence with a period!
- lolwutt, on 10/11/2007, -1/+13If you're ugly, stop blaming your lack of social skills on your face. It has nothing to do with the words you speak and the way you present yourself. Ugly people can make good friends with strangers, and they can lay beautiful women. You don't need to dance or be rich. Get over it.
- SampaChic, on 10/11/2007, -0/+11sure... that with abortion and death penalty... :)
- SampaChic, on 10/11/2007, -0/+11if you're ugly, be funny
- SampaChic, on 10/11/2007, -3/+13First Two things to do if you want to improve your social skills:
1 - stop checking digg every 10 minutes
2 - stop spending your whole night on WOW - kaynesan, on 10/11/2007, -0/+10Or have money.
- Ridikul, on 10/11/2007, -1/+11I have social anxiety and it's very hard, you can't just do it.
- SenorCardgage74, on 10/11/2007, -1/+11Somehow I manage to be really popular in social settings and have never really been rejected in the "making friends while out sense", but for whatever reason breaking the ice with people I dont know still scares the ***** out of me.
I dont mean the above as a boast either. I just mean to illustrate my weirdo situation, which is a situation that confuses the hell out of me.
When I can muster up the courage to try (which is rare) I never encounter any resistance. And I recognize this. Yet Im still terrified most nights to chat up or even maintain eye contact with people, whether I know them or not.
I usually end up hiding back in the DJ booth.
Its strange. - agalis, on 10/11/2007, -5/+14Initiate conversation:
So... how 'bout that new software.
Yeah. - pagemaster, on 10/11/2007, -4/+13I like turtles?
- SampaChic, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9it's probably fear of rejection. Even though you know it's not likely, there's still a small chance and you fear it
- CurlyHayami, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9Definitely dugg...my past three years in highschool-I was a social wreck(with each year a little better than the last.)
I'm hoping to change things this senior year. - Ebulating, on 10/11/2007, -1/+10This advice applies just as well to those of us with social anxiety. I know, I've had the worst SA my doc had ever seen, but I overcame it through a lot of hard work and appropriate medication. The problem is, after you struggle to get to where everyone else is, you're left with the social skills of a grade schooler. Thats why articles like this REALLY help. The best thing I ever did was to identify people with great social skills and try to emulate them.
- bonyicecream, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7It's like... trying to get yourself to jump off a 15 foot cliff.
You know you won't die, but you know it'll be difficult as hell to not ***** it up and end up hurt.
I love crazy analogous metaphors. - IllBeBack, on 10/11/2007, -2/+8I don't think you read the article very thoroughly. You may want to go back and look again.
- lolwutt, on 10/11/2007, -1/+7You're right, it's evolution. Originally, talking to someone outside of your social circle was very DANGEROUS. Your life was in danger if you interacted with strangers, and it would be in danger if you left those already in your social circle (you rely on them for food, sex, etc). Nowadays with strangers everytime you open the door, our brains still invoke fear at the thought of talking to new people.
However, if you want to talk to beautiful women, you just have to do it. Do it a lot. Do it no matter how scared you are. Just constantly do it and eventually you'll become confident with it. - UrinalPooper, on 10/11/2007, -0/+6Good article, but I'd prefer an How To Avoid Having to Socialize article a bit more.
- otaking, on 10/11/2007, -0/+5Yeah, haven't you ever seen a good looking person who just seems shy? People might come up and talk to them every once in a while but they can't follow through. They lack confidence. They're me. lmao
- xxTazxx, on 10/11/2007, -1/+6Although theres some merit in what you say, if you look around you thats not normally true. I personally think confidence is a lot more important than attractiveness (which is important no doubt), since I'm sure you've seen people you'd think are attractive but due to a lack of confidence or shyness do not make that many friends.
- VanDaniel, on 10/11/2007, -0/+5pedophilia, 1955 Pulitzer Prize nominees, and norwegian cardboard.
- DigMyNose, on 10/11/2007, -0/+5Worked great until I stared at her breasts. Why wasn't this in the article?
- MyDocuments, on 10/11/2007, -0/+5yeah.. gives you tons of interesting things to talk about..
... if you're into guys - IllBeBack, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4They're ***** buddy-flies.
Wah wah wah... - JrGhoull, on 10/11/2007, -1/+5i find that i'm at my best in clubs. i'm in my sort of..animal mode there. everything is on full blast and i'm really not holding back. i find the real trick to it all is say to urself "this is the one and only time...so why not now" basically i'm referring to the fact that odds are you will never see that person again...ever. so you might as well make ur move, since at worse the person will reject you, and you wont see them again anway
- inspecality, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4From "floating" around talking to everyone.
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -5/+9I start off ok, but then I get way too ***** faced drunk, get a ride home and crash. So now I just play D&D MMO, get ***** faced drunk, then crash.
- SenorCardgage74, on 10/11/2007, -1/+4P.S. Im not attractive in most any sense of the word, but I can be sorta funny on occassion, which people seem to like.
- DiggRestrictsMe, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3i suffer from social anxiety myself, but it's kinda weird. It's like the people I feel i might actually identify with are even worse off than I am... but it's only subjective. I consider them to be nerdy and astute toward the details, and at the same time they suddenly quote star wars or something and suddenly their image deteriorates. I'll make a little joke (becuase i know a bit of star wars lore too..) and they jump down my throat about how it's totally inaccurate.
The bottom line is you have to go with the flow. The real question is "Do I want to know this person at all?" If the answer is no, then all that "socialization" is wasted. If the answer is yes, then the question becomes "Do I want to see behind their stupid star wars jokes?"
whatever... - wannabenomad, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Yeah sure, because if some smug ***** comes up to me and challenges me on my intelligence, I'm going to fall all over myself trying to impress him and show him how interesting I am.
I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the girls who "have nothing else to offer the world" are just blowing you off because you're being a prick. - otaking, on 10/11/2007, -1/+3What happens if yourself is asocial and shy? The point is to break out of your shell. Of course you will be yourself. You are who you are and that will always be reflected. Being more social shows who you are to other people.
- littlebean9, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Although i don't like these: "do this and that" guides online that teach you how to be a better person, the guidelines are somewhat helpful. there are things that you don't think about when in a social situation... i found myself rolling my eyes at random people i don't know more than once... but i only thought about it now...
dugg.. - slowmotiony, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2I had a pretty bad social phobia and suffered from lots of anxieties. I found an NLP trainer in my city and after few sessions i feel I can finally fight it and not let it take over my life. Once you find a way to beat the pain, going out is fun as hell. Good luck.
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