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How Adults Can Make Kids' Sports a Nightmare

encarta.msn.com — Some adults pressure their kids in sports to the point where the kids no longer enjoy what should be fun. Adults placing unreasonable pressure on children is nothing new. The only difference is the things they expect their children to excel at. In the 17th century young boys were castrated so their singing voices wouldn't be ruined by puberty.

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johndi 1 year 329 days ago, made popular 1 year 329 days ago

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defectDS, on 10/12/2007, -7/+54When I was about 9 or 10, my mom signed me up for a soccer team. She was so eager for me to get into the game that she signed my up for the "advanced" class. I hadn't really played soccer outside of recess. So there I was, around a bunch of 14 and 15 year old bouncing the ball on their head, alone. It got to the point where the coach encouraged me to try. A kid kicked a ball to me and it hit me directly in the face, knocked me down and gave me a double nose bleed. They were all laughing at me, but my dad was there and quickly took me home. I never went back. :P

So here I am, scarred for life, no real athletic ability, but a successful 17 year old graphic designer. the moral of the story? SOCCER IS EVIL.
- poobread, on 10/12/2007, -10/+18I see your website is nice and healthy.
  
  http://www.primarydesigns.net
- kingace, on 10/12/2007, -28/+4Dude, shut the hell up.
- dclowd9901, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8I am wondering the same thing, too. Did someone hijack it?
- plarp, on 10/12/2007, -24/+5so you are a fat kid who sits in front of the computer instead of out playing with your peers..
- account, on 10/12/2007, -11/+6Sports builds character. Ü
- dmoney06, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8I think being castrated is a little worse than what goes on today...Thats not to say that what sometimes happens with parents and their children's sports 'careers' isn't bad.
- Killah_xxx, on 10/12/2007, -2/+4"In the 17th century young boys were castrated so their singing voices wouldn't be ruined by puberty."
  I wonder if that'd really helped. :(
- candiru, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6at Killah, look at Michael Jackson.
- defectDS, on 10/12/2007, -0/+61. I'm anything but fat. Plus, I go to the gym regularly. :P
  2. I am pretty active when it comes to a social life.
  3. I lost the domain recently and have migrated to timshundo.com, but a new name required a new design and I can't find the time to get it done. Milk cartons don't design themselves!
technique, on 10/12/2007, -0/+26You know, it's amazing -- usually the people showing the worst sportsmanship at kids' athletic events are the parents, not the children. Thank goodness for those brave souls we call "volunteer coaches" to help the kids learn proper behaviour on the field / court / what have you.
- Rikkochet, on 10/12/2007, -16/+2W-w-w-what? I've rarely seen poor sportsmanship in kids' sports by the kids - it's the screaming, abusive parents who need to live vicariously through their children that cause the vast majority of the problems.
  
  Before age 12, I don't think it's unreasonable to say that parents put their kids in sports for the parents, not for the kids.
  "Do you want to go to soccer?" Growing up, I never met a kid who said "yeah!". "I get to go to soccer tonight" was never said - it was "I have to go to soccer tonight"
- FMJ87, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13@Rikkochet
  
  isnt that what he just said...?
- realyst, on 10/12/2007, -6/+0Like Ford Prefect, sarcasm simply doesn't work for some people.
- eonblue, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6As a one time soccer ref I will definatly vouch for that. Kids are nothing, they will listen to and obey you, and the game will go nicley. Parents on the other hand encourage their kids to play rough, yell at refs, and generally become a nusiance.
  
  It's one reason that reffing 15 year olds was easier then reffing a 10 year old game. At 15 some parents show up some dont but they accept whatever the ref does and generally don't care otherwise. 10 year old kids soccer games parents sit there and scream at anything and everything.
kingace, on 10/12/2007, -1/+9Do you really need an article to tell you this? I thought that everyone has had a parent-induced bad experience with sports at least one time or another in their life...
gmillerd, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4Need to get more kids involved ... http://www.nrahq.org/compete/
- GeneralAntilles, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Nothing better for teaching a kid responsibility and patience.
tomasv, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2Last season I had parents coming up to me telling me to tell another parent to lay off her kid. It is really hard for the coach (myself) to decide how to handle this. Especially when the kid is very talented.
buffalodan, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10I hated reffing for the u6 groups. The kids barely knew how to play, yet there the parents were saying that the other team had been offsides. Explaining to an adult why offsides isnt even enforced made my day
GraceMolloy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10The number of times I've seen some overzealous father being tossed off the Little League field would baffle most people.
ShadySpace, on 10/12/2007, -4/+6Man, people will digg most things just due to the headline, apparently. I agree with the sentiment of this article but it's atrociously written.

"I also remember their mother, who, from the water, looked like a giant black mouth floating in the air."

Inferrences regarding race aside, what the hell does the above sentence even mean?
- Bantec, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Curious, what was being inferred?
- doctorcaligari, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I think she meant from under the water...since it distorts and magnifies things above when you are under the surface.
- mancat, on 10/12/2007, -2/+3Have a sense of humor and shut the hell up.
gaberowe, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3Good article. I think if you can afford to have your kids try lots of sports, your kid will be the happiest. Parents need to remember that part of being a kid is supposed to be figuring things out for themselves after you give them coaching--so "ok remember do this son", and then you let them go do it. I think parents get frustrated when the kid is not performing up to their personal level they have in their own heads. Allow the kid to play a sport the kid likes!! They will be much happier and receptive to parental involvement! Duh! One way or another they will find a sport they a) are good at, b) like their team or friends in the sport c) get good excercise d) or find out that they are not very coordinated and maybe something else would be good for them. Either way, I'm really worried to hear that kids are not having much physical education these days. I think that having kids study instead of recess helps a very small fraction of kids be more successful, while not getting excercise hurts 100% of the kids that don't run around outside. The moral, find a balance in having kids play sports and in how you parent your kids about that sport otherwise the kid loses in the long run.
rocketryguy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Reminds me of the scene in "Finding Bobby Fischer" where the officials are lecturing sternly about the rules, and then you see that it's the parents who are getting the hairy eyeball, and the kids are fine on their own. One of the best scenes in the movie imho.
doctorcaligari, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4I think this article reads true for almost all aspects of parenting, not just sports. Some of us were yelled at for missing a catch, while some of us got yelled at for making a "B". Kids need time to be kids and discover things on their own. They can't do that if every minute of the day is structred and scheduled, with an overbearing parent browbeating them.
mc4_a, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3Another hard hitting story for Digg's "duh" category.
Zappa, on 10/12/2007, -4/+5If my kids do not win at sports the beatings will start once we get home.
- CatalystGhost, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5Nice sarcasm... but I had to digg you down for being a bit tasteless. Sorry, man, it's just not all that funny.
DesolataX, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Heh, Reminds me of that one South Park episode, where all the baseball teams are trying to lose... I love that show :D
pkmugg, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1castration ftw!
NSMike, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1This article is still part of the problem. It sends the impression that sports are very valuable to a child's development, and that if you don't participate, then your child is not well adjusted. Sports have value for those meant to participate in them, and those that do it to have fun are usually very nice people... But those who are in it to compete (i.e., the majority) are violent ***** with little to contribute.
csrster, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Adults making kids' sports a nightmare? And there was me thinking this was going to be a story about PE teachers.
ddales, on 10/12/2007, -1/+0I actually got attacked at my son's football game. I volunteered to work the chains, which are always on the visitors sideline. My son's team was killing the visitors and they were very frustrated. Finally, in the 4th quarter, the visitors scored a touchdown on a nice play. I clapped and said that it's great that they at least got one score. I sincerely meant for the comment to be a compliment. Some of the football moms apparently didn't like my comment very much and started slapping me and pulling my hair. It may sound funny, but it was extremely unpleasant because I didn't want to hit back. The football dads saw that the football moms were slapping the ***** out of me and joined in. The riot mentality phenomenon ensued. Fortunately, a couple of our football dads were off-duty police officers and brought the visitors under control and got me to our own sideline where I was safe. The kids, on both sides, were really pissed at the visiting parents at the end.
mugginns, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Sports for young kids are some of the most important activities one can do at that age. Saying they are useless cos you aren't good at them is false.
- GoodBrain, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Saying that they are "some of the most important activities" without backing it up is "false."
  
  I've never been much of a sports fan, but I'm all for kids playing team sports growing up. I'm not much for kids playing full-contact football at the age of 10 though. It might be good for dad's ego, but it's horrible for the kids bodies. What are your thoughts on that?
- pacatak, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Not everyone's parents force them to play, some people actually enjoy the blessed sport, i know i did. If more kids played sports, less would have diabetes, and the like. A lot of issues with being overweight are worse then having bad knees. Then again being overweight can also give you bad knees.
  
  " The surprise in the data is that football is not the most dangerous sport when it comes to permanent disabling injuries. Basketball and baseball, the data show, both cause more permanent disabling injuries, compared to the number of participants. Soccer, which many suburban parents now extol as a "harmless" alternative to football, causes permanent disabling injuries at almost exactly the same rate as football."
  
  From http://www.blueoregon.com/2005/08/is_football_dan.html
- mugginns, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0@ goodbrain
  
  I've met lots of kids that didn't do competitive sports at young ages. They lack social skills, don't care about success, etc. To say that this applies to everyone would be false, but you can't deny learning to want to win won't help kids in the long run. Kids who do well in school and have to go to college have to compete. Then they graduate and have to compete in the business world.
andkore, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0I happen to be somewhat uncompetitive personality, well mostly in sports, and I don't really like sports alot, but my parents force me to play (I'm 15). I really doubt you must play sports to be able to "survive" as an adult. I'm sorta smart (I got a 26 or 27 (can't remember) out of 32 on the PLAN (pre-ACT) test as a freshman in high school (which was the best out of the sophomore and freshmen class in my small-ish school), but I'm sure some people did alot better, but still. And I really don't know why people must be all competitive. In college all you do is do a test to get into college, that isn't head to head competition. And for jobs it's the same, you just do your best in the interview or whatever and see how it goes. I think if anything people are overcompetitive and everyone just needs to be nicer. But hell, this is probably why I should become a teacher or humanitarian worker or something.
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How Adults Can Make Kids' Sports a Nightmare

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