digg

Join DiggAbout

Discover the best of the web!
Learn more about Digg by taking the tour.

See the original image at theonion.com

Giving Inner-City Youths the Opportunity to Pole-Vault

theonion.com — Take a look around at the state of our schools, the violence on TV, and the drugs on our streets, and you'll see why so many of our children are struggling for a better life. These kids need someone on their side. They need a powerful force to set them on the right trajectory and keep them out of prison, or the morgue. They need pole-vaulting.

Bury
show profanity settings
expand all
  • scififan9009, on 03/27/2008, -1/+20Pole vaulting saved my mom from a burning windmill. Serious.
  • pstroll, on 03/27/2008, -1/+11The priests taught me how to pole-vault when I was in school
  • geek22, on 03/27/2008, -4/+2A must read. A classic Onion piece. hylarious.
  • offspring06, on 03/27/2008, -0/+11Pole-Vaulting is the answer. Its so crazy that it may work.
  • itstodd, on 03/27/2008, -1/+8Hmmm... Do i smell a new democratic government program???
  • zomgwaffles, on 03/27/2008, -7/+3sweet, now they will be pole vaulting over those barded wire fences to steal more stuff.
  • chrissku, on 03/27/2008, -0/+3The greatest invention ever was the Flowbee
  • poleag, on 03/27/2008, -1/+9You always hear about inner-city and suburban kids, but what about us outer-city youth? We're struggling out here.
  • krusader3z, on 03/27/2008, -12/+4I don't support helping any inner-city youths.

    I also wish the severly abused welfare programs were highly regulated.

    And I wish food stamps were eliminated tomorrow.. I really do

    Maybe a couple days without food will make people reconsider spending 2 thousand on "rims", yapping on their prepaid cell phone, and wearing designer clothing. Then sayin "shanequia, the white man is holding me down, i aint gittin ahead"
    • iofthestorm, on 03/27/2008, -1/+7I see where you're coming from, but the reality is that not everyone who is struggling/on welfare is wasting their money like that. But there definitely needs to be a way to make sure that people on support programs aren't abusing the system. Also, lighten up, this is satire ;).
    • dagoonmaster, on 03/27/2008, -0/+4please tell me you realize that the onion is a joke newspaper right... like this is funny funny ha ha....
      • krusader3z, on 03/28/2008, -2/+1My tax dollars going to pay for some loser is not funny 'ha ha'
  • dopexile, on 03/27/2008, -4/+6Uhm intercity youth already have a similar physical event... except they call it climbing over a chainlink fence to run from the pole ease
  • lukemandese, on 03/27/2008, -0/+7We all should have the right to pole vault.
  • 65daysofstatic, on 03/27/2008, -1/+9All I have to say is, Allison Stokke.

    Seriously, Allison Stokke.
  • damonic, on 03/27/2008, -0/+3A yoot? What's a yoot?
  • flashingcurser, on 03/27/2008, -4/+2This would be great sarcasm if Paul LaBradford actually existed and he really is a successful black business man. I'm having trouble finding him or "Voyage Capital". Can anyone confirm that he isn't white guy making blog spam?
  • invisiblehat, on 03/27/2008, -2/+5Hey krusader3z, now whilst I do detest welfare abuse, I truly hope that there will be a day when you find yourself in need of assistance from the government.
    It is easy to sit there and say those kind of things up on your high horse.

    It will be delightful when this country's current economic state finally affects you and your family and you find yourself ***** and in need of food stamps. Hopefully the day that happens is the day you get your wish and see food stamps eliminated.

    I hate the abuse of public services as much as anyone else. However I hate assholes who think it will never happen to them and people that think they are better than others just because they were born into more comfortable circumstances.

    And no, I am not from the inner-city. I am of upper-middle class roots. I just empathy for my fellow man.
  • DrHyde, on 03/27/2008, -0/+2The kids in Warsaw need to play Pole Vault ...
  • moolf, on 03/27/2008, -0/+3pole vaulting? no way, i've seen too many lives destroyed by pole vaulting. the high jump is the real future for the youth
  • ColonelJessup, on 03/27/2008, -1/+1They need to learn pole-vaulting to better escape the cops when they are being chased by them. Instead of scaling the fence, they could just pole-vault over it, saving precious seconds of escape time.
  • bearythebear, on 03/27/2008, -2/+0it will surely help them escape jail
  • cubicledrone, on 03/27/2008, -2/+0Sure would be nice if we had some decent jobs again. Not going to happen of course with the blow-dried phone-flipping crouton hoarders running the illiterate three-ring circus of the "workplace". It would be nice, though.
  • KDAY12, on 03/27/2008, -0/+1I was a pole vaulter at the U. of Michigan. I have done my part to make this world a better place. Have you done yours?
  • flmumb, on 03/27/2008, -0/+1I saw the title and said "Either this is a new fad or the onion".
  • Ghostalker, on 03/28/2008, -1/+2Next up, drive-by poling.
  • secondfiddle, on 03/28/2008, -2/+0?????????????????????
  • triskele, on 03/28/2008, -0/+1Not sure how this is relevant, but one of my high school teachers who was a student once upon a time still holds school records in Triple Jump and Pole Vaulting because they stopped those events end of that season. This was in the 60's.
  • Sheff, on 03/28/2008, -0/+2Pole vaulting inner-city youths will eventually get their asses handed to them by illegal immigrant pole vaulters after America finishes the wall.
  • Nekura20x6, on 03/28/2008, -0/+1Filed under "Things That Sound Dirty, But Aren't"
  •  

    Login or register to add a comment

    Create a new account or login to join in the conversation on Digg. You'll also be able to Digg stories to help promote things you like.


© Digg Inc. 2008 — Content posted by Digg users is dedicated to the public domain.
DIGG, DIGG IT, DUGG, DIGG THIS, Digg graphics, logos, designs, page headers, button icons, scripts, and other service names are the trademarks of Digg Inc.