History Written: Michael Phelps wins Gold Medal #8!

448 Comments

hektur, on 08/17/2008, -18/+372I demand all Chuck Norris (and similar) jokes be changed to Michael Phelps jokes.
Spade914, on 08/17/2008, -10/+325Michael Phelps can walk on water but doesn't want to show off, so he swims instead.

When Aquaman needs help he calls Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps cashed his plane ticket in and swam Butterfly to the Olympics.

Michael Phelps arrived in China riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

Michael Phelps craps out Energizer batteries.

Michael Phelps is the only person in the world that can race a speed boat.... and win!

Michael Phelps doesn't swim through the water... the water swims around him.

The only thing that can defeat Michael Phelps is another Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps qualified with a top speed of 378 mph at the Daytona 500, swimming!

Michael Phelps doesn't have a condo in Ann Arbor, he has a cave in the Atlantic.

One time, at band camp, Michael Phelps slept with all the women.... in one night.

Touch pads reach for Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps was hungry before a race and ate his competition.

When you say "no one's perfect", Michael Phelps takes this as a personal insult.

Michael Phelps only swims through the water because he considers walking on top of it too pretentious

Michael Phelps can swim through dry land.

Michael Phelps doesn't swim with sharks. The sharks swim with him.

Michael Phelps eats whole cows for breakfast and then washes them down with Gatorade.

Michael Phelps sleeps underwater with one eye open.

The First rule of Michael Phelps is: you do not talk about Michael Phelps.

Arnold Schwarzenegger calls Michael Phelps for weight lifting tips.

Michael Phelps is the reason why Ian Thorpe went into retirement.

Michael Phelps will single handedly save NBC's poor summer ratings.

Michael Phelps' pulse is measured on the richter scale.

Michael Phelps can swim butterfly backwards and still beat his own world records.

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps once kicked a shark in the head... Its descendants are known today as the Hammer Head.

Michael Phelps doesn't wear a watch and he never is late, in fact is always arrives in world record time.

Michael Phelps recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Some swimmers use drag suits in practice... Michael Phelps uses a lead suit.

Michael Phelps was what Willis was talkin' about.

Michael Phelps can sneeze with his eyes open... underwater!

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Michael Phelps pajamas.

Michael Phelps built the Beijing Aquatic Center (The Cube) 30 minutes before his first race.
funwithgoats, on 08/17/2008, -12/+313Why yes, gold most definitely is a metal.
otto989, on 08/17/2008, -2/+245Jesus didn't walk on water. He just hitched a ride on Michael Phelps' back.
blurrie, on 08/17/2008, -8/+201***** NBC FOR NOT HAVING IT LIVE ON THE WEST COAST.
***** YOU NBC

but.. mike p. you are the man.
jlian, on 08/17/2008, -1/+174When Michael Phelps swims, he doesn't swim forward, the pool moves backwards.
ElAmo, on 08/17/2008, -5/+175goddamit NBC, why can't you show it ***** live. now when i watch this in two hours it will not be suspenseful at all. and yes, i'm on the west coast, but so are 80 million others of us.
steve9924, on 08/17/2008, -7/+171Wow, this story came out about 60 seconds after I saw him win it.

He'll be raking in the cash now.....
MarianaPeyton, on 08/17/2008, -10/+166Phelps ***** rules.
BestJaxx, on 08/17/2008, -1/+143Michael Phelps can touch MC Hammer.
jdmzpf, on 08/17/2008, -10/+137I liked the Visa commercial immediately following the win, they probably shot that ad before he even won #1

The Olympics was an inside job...
Shuk, on 08/17/2008, -1/+108I'm Canadian, but my heart was pounding this whole race. To witness the greatest swimmer of all time break this record is something that we may not see in any Olympics to come. A truly remarkable athlete!
tzilla12, on 08/17/2008, -2/+100and the morgan freeman commercial was already ready to go.
Shuk, on 08/17/2008, -1/+95I believe he got 1 million bucks from Speedo after his 7th gold, and he'll be getting something like 15 million dollars in endorsements just from this win! But at this point, he's not doing it for the money. What does money matter when you have your name etched in history as the highest gold medal champion of an Olympic games, and possibly known as the greatest Olympian of all time!
fatlucy101, on 08/17/2008, -1/+95Mr. Norris, it was fun while it lasted.
ginnipig, on 08/17/2008, -2/+84The high price of gold wasn't due to investors but because Michael Phelps ate all the gold in China for breakfast.
siobhankeogh, on 08/17/2008, -1/+78My country (NZ) was competing in this race and I still wanted the USA to win so Phelps could break the record.
magusg, on 08/17/2008, -4/+77If there was ever a Wheaties box contender, it's him.
stlredbird, on 08/17/2008, -0/+73Once again Phelps fails to win that elusive silver.
relaxeder, on 04/17/2009, -1/+71He's a fish.

Seriously though, that guy has one of the longest torsoes I've ever seen.
transient0, on 08/17/2008, -3/+70Chuck Norris can walk on water but Michael Phelps can swim through land.

wait..
archer104, on 08/17/2008, -4/+66Phelps phucking phinishes phirst phor the phinale!!!
santaliqueur, on 08/17/2008, -0/+58A day's earnings? More like, "not bad for spending the last 15 years of my life as a fish" He received the winnings recently, but earned it over many years of hard work and sacrifice. Winning the genetic lottery doesn't hurt either.
Pilot85, on 08/17/2008, -6/+61Ah, the birth of a meme.
BlindingEdge, on 08/17/2008, -2/+53When Michael Phelps jumps in the water, Michael Phelps doesn't get wet. Water gets Michael Phelps.
diggadigga, on 08/17/2008, -5/+54This was my reaction when I saw him win it:
http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/6092/la35bac0d3 ...
TheEngineer2008, on 08/17/2008, -3/+51Oops. :-0 Guess I typed it too fast. LOL.

Someone buried your comment, but I gave it a thumbs-up.....you caught it.
AhrenBa, on 08/17/2008, -4/+50Awesome. Great job Phelps! That seriously instills some pride in me!

I really hope that he'll never get exposed as an athlete that used performance enhancing drugs. He doesn't seem like a guy that would, but so many other athletes have been found to do so. *knock on wood*

Nonetheless, amazing job man. You have made your country proud!
Checkerd, on 08/17/2008, -3/+47This. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StXLUh29E0I
cklein121, on 08/17/2008, -0/+42I'd digg each one if I could.
rhythmatic, on 08/17/2008, -0/+42He is ideally built to be a swimmer. Torso/wingspan of a 6'8 guy, legs of a 6'0 guy, double jointed ankles, and size 14 feet. Can't wait to see what his program will be for the 2012 Olympics. Should be another 3 or 4 gold medals in him at least.
mustang30266, on 08/17/2008, -1/+40for the dolphins
JasonMCG, on 08/17/2008, -0/+39"...but 8 gold medals? We're going to need some new adjectives for whatever that is." Congratulations, Phelps.
john2kx, on 08/17/2008, -2/+41and we sometimes confuse spelling for grammar.
prodigymix, on 08/17/2008, -2/+38http://digitalgangster.com/4um/showthread.php?t=59 ...

ex: Michael Phelps only swims through the water because he considers walking on top of it too pretentious
dsgamer, on 08/17/2008, -1/+37"The only thing that can defeat Michael Phelps is another Michael Phelps."

wouldn't that be like dividing by zero?

*explosion!*
piglet1350, on 08/17/2008, -2/+37This guy is awesome on so many levels...an outstanding athlete and still so humble about all of it. Take notes, Michael Vick and Pacman Jones.
ichbeineinrcg, on 08/17/2008, -0/+34Legacy is nice, but look at Mark Spitz--'72 only gets mentioned every four years, and now it'll be forgotten almost completely.
siobhankeogh, on 08/17/2008, -0/+34Dugg for "Touch pads reach for Michael Phelps."
spaceshipsix, on 08/17/2008, -5/+38Ya but you know in the back of his mind he's also thinking ***** yes I'm rich. I don't care what he says.
Cattywampus, on 08/17/2008, -1/+34Part man, part fish, all American!

Congrats to Phelps! I bet he's really tired of talking to Andrea Kremer and Bob Costas...
guyincognito, on 08/17/2008, -1/+34man... that sucks
TheEngineer2008, on 08/17/2008, -6/+39Congratulations to Michael Phelps!
Cajole55, on 08/17/2008, -2/+34Imagine the giant deuces this man drops......12,000 calories per day.
sleeknerve, on 08/17/2008, -6/+38USA! USA! USA!
Shuk, on 08/17/2008, -0/+32If I were him though, I'd care more about the legacy. Not necessarily the "fame" and media coverage, but the legacy of greatest Olympian of all time.
beerhound, on 08/17/2008, -1/+32They had to have done it before the games started. Morgan Freeman was the voice doing the commercial and he was in a car accident and went through surgery. That was on the 4th of August and the games started on the 8th. I doubt they did the voice overs from his hospital room.
achinda99, on 08/17/2008, -2/+33Congratulations to Michael Phelps... For getting the most Facebook friend invites ever...
dkapuchino, on 08/17/2008, -3/+34it will be a short lived one, if at all.
iamanalog, on 08/17/2008, -0/+30Am i the only one that things 1 million seems kinda...low to match one of the best swimmers in the history of the Olympics?
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