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Bush To Olympians: 'Bring Back Lots Of Valuable Gold'

theonion.com — President George W. Bush delivered an encouraging motivational message to Beijing-bound Olympians Monday, urging them to "compete swifter, higher, and stronger in their pursuit of gold" so that they may achieve not just the glory of victory but the hard cash value of the much-needed commodity.

Who dugg this? Made popular Aug 6, 2008

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  • SportsAnna, on 08/06/2008, -8/+47you know, I wouldn't put it past him to say something like that...
  • Ljay90, on 08/06/2008, -4/+41It's all part of his new stimulus plan.
  • acis1, on 08/06/2008, -6/+34insert gold standard comment here
  • boerema, on 08/06/2008, -1/+19I think we all know that the people of China have long perfected the art of gold farming.
  • lemur, on 08/06/2008, -3/+18If Bush thinks he's going to come between Chinese and their gold, he has another thing coming. Has WoW taught him nothing?
  • tehxen3, on 08/06/2008, -4/+19Reminder: this is from Onion.
  • panickedthumb, on 08/06/2008, -9/+22It would be funnier if it weren't believable.
  • obsolite, on 08/06/2008, -0/+8China to Olympians: Do well and we still kill your families.
  • Spuy767, on 08/06/2008, -3/+10China to Olympians: Do well or we kill your families.
  • RFtesla, on 08/06/2008, -2/+8It's the onion you moron.
  • boerema, on 08/06/2008, -7/+13obviously not.
  • Chahrlie5, on 08/06/2008, -3/+9***** bush etc etc
  • hokie47, on 08/06/2008, -1/+6Bush is going to be there for 4 days too. 4 days of Daily Show gold.
  • lemur, on 08/06/2008, -1/+6If Bush played WoW he'd be one of those people that just dance around in their underwear at spawn points.
  • IphtashuFitz, on 08/06/2008, -2/+7Yet another Onion story that I would have believed as true if I had read it somewhere else. Bravo Onion writers!
  • ericthegreat, on 08/06/2008, -0/+4Can't we have "theonion.com" automatically tagged as comedy?
  • MisteR2, on 08/06/2008, -2/+6They've been right about Bush so far...
  • abajaj2280, on 08/06/2008, -6/+9"We shall use that gold to help us win the war against terrorism!"
  • TexasShiv, on 08/06/2008, -7/+10What's sad is this is completely believable....*sigh*
  • bearcat8543, on 08/06/2008, -0/+3***** bush, etc.
  • colto, on 08/06/2008, -0/+3I'm not an even an Obama supporter and I think you're an *****.
  • roddack, on 08/06/2008, -0/+2I want to paint his yohoo gold, its kinda my thing

  • LucasVB, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1The Onion is our only realiable news source.
  • Depthfunction, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1Might have been more appropriate if it were Ron "Restore the Antiquated and Obsolete Gold Standard" Paul instead of Bush.
  • manzoire, on 08/06/2008, -1/+2I keep thinking that these onion articles on Bush are real. I wouldn't be surprised if he said that.
  • andrewpmk, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1**** the Olympics.
  • mohsenxp, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1they did get that sweet golden AK47 though.
  • Blandyman, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1Todd: Presidential five!
  • Blandyman, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1lol wut?
  • MacSuxWindozSux, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1What's sad is that it's not true. I laughed thinking he's gone and done it again, then saw it was the onion. I'm a little disappointed.
  • ZeeZee2k, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1Well, aren't you guys funny
  • Blandyman, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1Only if you love GOOOOOOLD
  • inactive, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1crazy
  • Sumtin2Say, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1If the medals are made in China, its not gonna be real gold regardless of whether or not they have a good mining operation. Might have some lead in them though.
  • Torx, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1getting tired of the onion's news on digg.
  • ubergeek09, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1If you haven't realized by now Bush cannot be "taught" anything..
  • Jespoir, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1That's a completely unfounded comment. Thanks for bringing the intelligence level down.
  • Stemnin, on 08/06/2008, -1/+1My name is George W. Bush and i'm a Troll Cheney!
  • TrueXtremeIcon, on 08/06/2008, -1/+1Comment of the day.
  • tehxen3, on 08/06/2008, -2/+2Uncool is the new cool.
  • XeN0cidE, on 08/06/2008, -1/+1Oh *****.
  • DeFex, on 08/06/2008, -1/+1lol good luck getting gold with all those Korean and Chinese gold miners.
  • gameoverx00, on 08/08/2008, -0/+0Hey guys. For more information on the Beijing Olympics and just sports in general, check out my blog: http://talkaboutsport.blogspot.com
  • friedcalamari, on 08/06/2008, -1/+1China to Olympians: Do well and we still kill your families or we’ll castrate you.
  • Br3ach, on 08/06/2008, -2/+2Damn The Onion, their political jokes are so close to reality I forget to check anymore where these stories come from.
  • scm83x, on 08/06/2008, -0/+0Interestingly, he said the same thing to the troops leaving for Iraq in 2003...
  • Ph0biA, on 08/06/2008, -1/+1Onion Roll'd
  • anon748296, on 08/06/2008, -2/+2the medals aren't even gold anymore. they're just gold-plated. same as the oscar movie awards.
  • inactive, on 08/06/2008, -1/+1we gonna need that gold, cuz with the U.S. dollar the way it is, you know.....
  • leerayIG88, on 08/06/2008, -1/+1i love goooold
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