5 Possible Futures For Michael Phelps

112 Comments

VinnieDaMac, on 08/22/2008, -1/+80Michael Phelps' name will fade into obscurity for the next ~4 years only to be brought up again every ~4 years, just in time for every Olympics.
goonsquad3, on 08/22/2008, -7/+77Get Laid.... a lot
PigGeneral, on 08/22/2008, -2/+53Star as Aquaman.
bananasluggy, on 08/22/2008, -11/+47Join the Navy SEALs?

I bet he'd pass the fitness test. ;D
KungF0o, on 08/22/2008, -10/+45Michael Phelps puts his swimsuit on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once his suit is on, he wins gold medals.
Daxx22, on 08/22/2008, -2/+31http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v474/NovaSk/MJ2Z ...
Ductapemaster, on 08/22/2008, -3/+277. Seaworld performer
Vikaas, on 08/22/2008, -2/+23Michael Phelps and Paris Hilton? That would make one awkward child.
ricoboy24, on 08/22/2008, -3/+22He should be a Lifeguard.
dha07030, on 08/22/2008, -2/+21*****, I would retire.
jazzfunkblues, on 08/22/2008, -2/+18He got a DWI within 3 months of the last games, any guesses on what he'll accomplish this time??
Stormwern, on 08/22/2008, -2/+15Only serious ones? What about:

Conductor
Store shelf-reorganizer
Bird-imitator
Windmill
Cartoon fight choreographer
etc
Charlotte_Web, on 08/22/2008, -1/+13I think Aquaman wants to star as Michael Phelps.
hgielrehtaeh, on 08/22/2008, -4/+15Local grocery store stocker: he'll reach the top shelf with his freakishly long arms.
andyb747, on 08/22/2008, -1/+11John Holmes was a swimmer?!
jasdf, on 08/22/2008, -2/+12I like the last one, just live a normal life and enjoy yourself.
swingerbone, on 08/22/2008, -0/+10called Driving Under the Influence (DUI) in some places and Driving While Intoxicated (DWI) others...
stormgren, on 08/22/2008, -1/+10except to fellow swimmers.
Scrappy1850, on 08/22/2008, -1/+9thats what happened last time. "michael phelps? oh yeah, that fast guy! i remember him."
inactive, on 08/22/2008, -2/+9Especially considering he can't really do any better.
MasterPlayer, on 08/22/2008, -5/+11Women impregantor?
stormgren, on 08/22/2008, -2/+7It would be like Ussain Bolt competing in the 100m, 200m (something many athletes do, including swimmers like Piersol in the 100 and 200 backstroke)...

and then deciding to do the mile, shotput and pole vault and three relays. Yes, the swimming events are as different as the sprints are to the field events. Just because Michael Phelps is capable of doing all those things doesn't mean it's something everybody does. Most swimmers specialize in one or two events. The events are not similar any more than the track and field events are. It would be like a 5000/10000 meter runner winning the 100 as well. If you were a swimmer you would know that it's that amazing.

Hey they're so similar, they're both running, right? And gymnastics? It's all tumbling through the air, I see no difference between the different types. (/sarcasm)
Bakdan87, on 08/22/2008, -3/+8Dugg for number 5!
Chimone, on 08/22/2008, -1/+6Marry rich sounds good to me
inactive, on 08/22/2008, -2/+78. Porn Star
Cozpolt, on 08/22/2008, -2/+6He should start a pizza and french-fries restaurant.
http://restaurantmnd.ytmnd.com/
mlvassallo, on 08/22/2008, -0/+4Man, Matt Biondi was a million times better looking in the face than Phelps is on a good day.
noahco, on 08/22/2008, -2/+6What about track, gymnastics, diving or any other sport that allows a person to participate in more than one event. Also, you obviously don't know anything about swimming. I'm pretty sure the 200 free is quite a bit different than the 400 IM and they are both quite a bit different than any relay. So there are a lot of differences or else wouldn't there be more people that accomplished the same thing? And also it's not just the medals, it's the amount that he beat people by and the amount of events he participated in in such a short period of time.
HayString, on 08/23/2008, -0/+4Whoever dugg us down obviously needs more cowbell. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhSkRHXTKlw
Scrappy1850, on 08/22/2008, -1/+5john holmes would not have been able to fit in that swim suit
theartfuldodgr, on 08/22/2008, -2/+6Federal distinction between DWI and DUI:

DWI = driving while impaired ( BAC > .08 )
DUI = driving under the influence ( BAC < .08, or under the influence of drugs.)
Local distinction can vary though, in most states there is no difference between the two.
mrlivingston, on 08/22/2008, -2/+6Soylent Green
bdbr, on 08/22/2008, -1/+5With a mustache like that, its a wonder that Mark Spitz never made it in porn.
anillop, on 08/22/2008, -0/+4Meanwhile Brenden Frasier is siting on his giant pile of money laughing all the losers making fun of him. For some reasons I don't think he minds your criticisms.
IsangMahal, on 08/23/2008, -0/+38. Get back to his role in "The Office" as Jim Halpert.
EtherGnat, on 08/22/2008, -0/+3DWI is actually the correct term in this case. Maryland (where Phelps was arrested and blew a 0.08) defines DWI as a BAC of 0.08%+. DUI is defined as 0.04-0.07%.

http://www.dmv.org/md-maryland/automotive-law/dui. ...

It should also be noted that he was underage, which means there was no legal limit. He was in trouble if he blew a 0.01%.
Mariasha, on 08/22/2008, -2/+5Would be funny.....

If you hadn't stolen it from the guy who posted it yesterday.
kavutu, on 08/23/2008, -0/+3Drown in the bathtub??
cyrix, on 08/23/2008, -0/+3Yet he only has a 30" inseam. I'm only 6'1 and I have a 32" inseam. He's got some short legs and long arms. He's like a ***** gorilla.
theutopian, on 08/22/2008, -1/+46. Lay on the beach for the rest of his life checking his massive bank balance from endorsements occasionally.

7. Blow his money and fame on hookers and coke.
inactive, on 08/22/2008, -2/+510. Worst Sumo Wrestler
roguemedia, on 08/22/2008, -0/+3Looks more like he's going to be busy enough and rich enough with all the corporate dick waiting to be sucked.

http://www.naturalnews.com/023930.html
Scrappy1850, on 08/22/2008, -2/+5there are about 40 medals in fencing
emalen, on 08/22/2008, -1/+4He has 14.
Mr.Gone, on 08/22/2008, -0/+26: Get caught up in a sex/drug scandal and fall from grace as I LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH!
mpaige, on 08/22/2008, -0/+2The Surreal Life?
eliotmat, on 08/22/2008, -0/+27. Become a giggalo
XtheXlanternX, on 08/22/2008, -0/+2Um. Phelps already makes tons of money doing speaking engagements.
Scrappy1850, on 08/22/2008, -0/+2it wasnt a fed crime. the DUI and DWI distinction is purely a state by state difference. like soda, pop and coke.
bigcynic, on 08/22/2008, -0/+2With his speech impediment, he's a shoe-in for announcer.
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