5 Facts About Michael Phelps' 5 Gold Medals

269 Comments

DrCrankenstein, on 08/13/2008, -3/+177Crazy fish bastard.
gibson850, on 08/14/2008, -2/+163He eats more food than a few small countries too.
killerstache, on 08/14/2008, -5/+142the approximate population of phelps made me lol
ChayesFSS, on 08/14/2008, -7/+108#6, Those medals get him more pussy than you
skipthefrog, on 08/13/2008, -2/+76He definitely wins the medals per capita category.
exomni, on 08/14/2008, -37/+110Fact: there are way too many ***** swimming events.

Seriously, it's absurd. A thousand different strokes, a thousand different lengths for each stroke, a thousand different mixes of different strokes, start off on a dive-board, start off in the pool, do it with a team, do it alone. It's absurd that because someone is good at one sport, they can win 8 gold medals in a single Olympics. They need to cut down the swimming events by at least half.

Compare 34 swimming events to 14 gymnastic events. It's absurd. Gymnastics has several different apparatuses, works completely different muscles depending on the apparatuses, has completely different skills for each event, and yet swimming, which is all in one ***** pool, has more than twice the events, almost all of which are dominated by two countries. This is seriously ridiculous.
GlobalFly, on 08/13/2008, -1/+73The guy was built for swimming. He is the closest thing we have to a human fish. There is no doubt he is doing what he was built for.
teh_spazz, on 08/14/2008, -7/+76#8 - His sperm can impregnate women in water in under 1 second.
EtherGnat, on 08/14/2008, -6/+67How is it any different than Track and Field and some of the other events?

Run. Run and jump. Run with other people. Run longer. Run even longer. Run really long.

Who cares how many events there are? It's not like you have to watch them all.
CrackyJSquirrel, on 08/14/2008, -0/+59Yeah, its good because in contrast, someone like me was built for love, but ended up being a programmer, wasted talent I say.
DarkSpoon, on 08/13/2008, -2/+50well, he's manbearfish.
Apocalyptic0n3, on 08/14/2008, -2/+48I laughed my ass off and got a few odd looks in my office when I read "Phelps (appx. population = 1) has five." I swear that's something I would have read on The Word on the Colbert Report
serif69, on 08/14/2008, -5/+45Obama/Phelps '08

Digg would have an aneurysm.
Rippleeffect, on 08/14/2008, -2/+39I am in awe of this man. Everytime he gets in the pool it seems that another world record falls. Most of the time, its his own record already.
inactive, on 08/14/2008, -2/+33He should get the credit for the fact that USA hasn't been blown away by China so far.
inactive, on 08/14/2008, -3/+33#7 - Will have a higher salary then the Florida Marlins...
kingmanic, on 08/14/2008, -1/+30Bah

# make clean
# ./configure --programmer
# make swimmer

There build for swimming.
elfprince13, on 08/14/2008, -0/+27he can swim fast enough to catch up to a trout and grab it. could probably put the pwn on the occasional salmon too.
lalilulelo, on 08/14/2008, -4/+30Go try and tell any swimmer freestyle is the same thing as butterfly. People can swim freestyle for years and still not be able to pull their entire body out of the water for butterfly. 34 does seem a bit much, especially when now it's the same guy switching between events to win them all to make it seem like they are really easy. Phelps makes it seem as if a person who is fast at freestyle is suddenly ridiculously great at every type of swimming, but the fact is, most swimmers are only good at their picked stroke and length and get dominated when they switch to other events.
vgtek, on 08/14/2008, -1/+24Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Phelps is no human.
WELLDOITLIVE, on 08/14/2008, -0/+21FACT- Bears eat beets
ic3man, on 08/14/2008, -2/+22Different strokes for different folks. I personally prefer the stranger.
arunforce, on 08/14/2008, -1/+21He ain't no fish, ***** is Blastoise.
MrSkills, on 08/14/2008, -1/+21... for humorous effect.
Smokeydabear, on 08/14/2008, -4/+22Fact #128: Michael Phelps is Aquaman's long lost nephew.
totorototoro, on 08/14/2008, -2/+19#6: He accounts for HALF of the U.S.A.s total gold medal count as of today.
GravyTrain6, on 08/14/2008, -0/+16you win three internets
Sumtin2Say, on 08/14/2008, -1/+17What you didn't notice is that they exchanged numbers. Later, while you were at class, he was teaching her the breast stroke and the back stroke. That day he had to eat an extra 3,000 calories above and beyond the usual 12,000 for the extra calories her burned tapping that ass. I'm sure his records in her gina still stand.
WELLDOITLIVE, on 08/14/2008, -3/+18Well Chuck Norris has an advantage because he never gets wet. The water just gets Chuck Norris.
bokep, on 08/14/2008, -1/+16Why don't you fetch a calculator
Shuk, on 08/14/2008, -4/+18His fifth gold medal in the relay was mind blowing. By the time he finished his leg of the relay, the world record was a body and a half away. There was no competition! This was after he won a gold 10 minutes prior. This man is a once in a lifetime athlete! He must have been raised by dolphins!
bwebb, on 08/14/2008, -7/+20You have obviously never been a competitive swimmer.

The different lengths require different levels of endurance and conditioning. Where a swimmer might dominate a 100m event because he is very quick and has worked extensively on developing anaerobic muscle for fast, hard pulls, that same swimmer may suck big hairy balls at a 400m event because their aerobic muscle is lacking and they will tire sooner.

Additionally, each separate stroke works a significantly different muscle area. Backstroke focuses heavily on the back (obviously) whereas something like fly requires an incredibly powerful torso. On top of the different arm and upper body variance in muscles between strokes, all of them excepting backstroke and freestyle have different kicks, thereby working completely separate leg muscles at the same time.

As far as dominance by country, these other countries may want to invest in a pool then as opposed to an enormous gymnasium and all the associated equipment, pads, and upkeep on all that equipment just to train their athletes. You can perform 34 medal winning events in a single 100m X 50m pool and all you need to do is keep the pool clean, the pH levels correct, and buy swim suits and goggles. Also, the same two countries dominate gymnastics as well so stop bitching.

When it comes down to it, all Olympic sports are only variations on an original idea for a competition. Your gymnastics is simply run, jump and flip, run further and in different directions and flip, spin on some low bars and flip, spin on some different sized bars and flip, spin on some rings and flip, spin and flip on another bar, spin more on a wider bar with handles and flip...
kingmanic, on 08/14/2008, -5/+18Unless he's gay like many other Olympic level swimmers. In that case it gets him more mangina. Nothing wrong with that if he is.
shutaro, on 08/14/2008, -2/+15His gaze can defeat communism!
thefandango, on 08/14/2008, -0/+12#7. Those medals are made of metals. (mostly gold)
exomni, on 08/14/2008, -6/+18First off, let's look at the events in track and field.

15 running/hurdle/steeplechase events of various lengths.

4 events for high/long jumps.

4 events for throwing things.

Decathalon.

So, obviously a long jump, throwing a discus, and racing on a track have nothing to do with each other. All that's left is 15 running/hurdle/steeplechase events. When we combine the women's and mens events as I did for swimming, that's 29 events.

Swimming has 34.

Is Swimming so much more popular than running that they get FIVE more events? That's a lot of events. Don't humans run and walk? Isn't that what we do? Doesn't it just seem natural and right that SWIMMING should have less than RUNNING?

Now let's look who holds the world records in these events:

Running:

Usain Bolt Jamaica
Michael Jonson USA
Michael Johnson USA
Wilson Kipketer DEN
Hicham El Guerrouj Morocco
Kenenisa Bekele Ethiopia
Kenenisa Bekele Ethiopia
Haile Gebrselassie Ethiopia
Dayron Robles Cuba
Kevin Young USA
Saif Saaeed Shaheen Qatar
USA
USA
Sergey Morozov Russia
Denis Nizhegorodov Russia

11 different people, 8 different countries.

Swimming:

Eamon Sullivan Australia
Eamon Sullivan Australia
Eamon Sullivan Australia
Michael Phelps USA
Ian Thorpe Australia
Grant Hackett Australia
Aaron Peirsol USA
Aaron Peirsol USA
Kosuke Kitajima Japan
Kosuke Kitajima Japan
Michael Phelps USA
Michael Phelps USA
Michael Phelps USA
Michael Phelps USA
Michael Phelps USA
Michael Phelps USA
Aaron Peirsol USA

6 different people, 4 different countries.

In swimming it is not unusual for one person to hold the majority of records (Eamon Sullivan first, Michael Phelps now), because swimming is NOT all that different. But in running, you will see different people will always be better at certain distances. You see a diverse mix of countries. It's not possible for one athlete to be the best at all the events, because the events are so different.
Flame15, on 08/14/2008, -1/+12I went to kavalakabakshikasanokdan once...
MxM111, on 08/14/2008, -1/+12Do you really need to bring politics here?
Chirp08, on 08/14/2008, -3/+14And the way it translate to swimming is exactly what we see. Some of these races are the equivelent of a 1600m or 3200m race, others are equivalent of a 100m or 400m. Just because they don't *seem* long doesn't mean they aren't absolutely brutal to do in the pool.

If you go with the most basic races in track and field, you are already up to 6 variations, 100m, 200m, 400m, 800m, 1600m, 3200m, then tack on the relay and hurdle versions, and then all the side events like pole volt, high jump, etc. and all of a sudden swimming is far from excessive.
aznpwnzor, on 08/14/2008, -0/+10more like a freaking blastoise
slapded, on 08/14/2008, -3/+13beerpong in 2012? dodgeball? it can happen.
aznpwnzor, on 08/14/2008, -0/+10actually they are mostly silver and covered with gold and with a jade inlay or something like that
towjam, on 08/14/2008, -4/+13Chris Tucker: Gphelpsa fish!
loobis, on 08/14/2008, -0/+9I'm Ron Burgandy?
jserio, on 08/14/2008, -2/+11While watching gymnastics the other day, the announcers said "now these gymnasts have to compete in several (up to 4) events to even have a chance at one medal and all Phelps does is swim one race." While I have nothing against Phelps, it does seem that swimming allows for way more gold medals than any other Olympic sports (except maybe running?). Look at May/Walsh. They need to compete in no fewer than 6 volleyball matches over the course of a week to have a chance at one gold! Granted Phelps is very diversified; many swimmers focus on one good event whereas Phelps has the talent/drive/BALLS to compete in many.
greerso, on 08/14/2008, -1/+9I took your advice and imagined it. Yup, it was awesome!
freakstyle571, on 08/14/2008, -2/+10all the more reason why Phelps is an amazing athlete.
bokep, on 08/14/2008, -0/+8you cannot compare gold medals between fish and humans.
Sumtin2Say, on 08/14/2008, -3/+10In the overall count, if we went by medals per capita for the countries represented, China and the US would not be 1 & 2.
scoottie, on 08/14/2008, -1/+8the ears give him better hydrodynamics
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