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The Best Geek Quotes: Top10 over the years

boardofwisdom.com — This is how it goes- 1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. 5.1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d .... Read on for some geeky advice !

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  • loganhid, on 10/10/2007, -58/+11what the hell does this say?

    1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
    • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -1/+102Sadly, I could read that without any difficulty
    • getrealnow, on 10/10/2007, -2/+57I could read that upside down, with beer goggles, in a unknown language.
    • 0ceanic, on 10/10/2007, -7/+12if you can read this you really need to get laid.

      really easy for me to read as well.
      • tech42er, on 10/10/2007, -2/+18r34lly 34sy 4 m3 2 r34d 4s w3ll.
      • tech42er, on 10/10/2007, -10/+4Sorry. I just had to do it.
      • ardalan89, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1I think everyone can read that . basically your brain doesn't read every single letter . but gets the idea of what it is and looks like, and i can go on forever..but all i can say is that u will never get laid surprisingly.
    • altinnovation, on 10/10/2007, -1/+11That one would be a false. Visit any local myspace-whore and you'll notice that their punctuation ain't all that different from l331 speak
    • LesterWallace, on 10/10/2007, -19/+3I think it is absolutely hilarious that loganhid is being dugg down. I guess some geeks are too busy reading leetspeak that they can't get a joke. He's saying he doesn't understand the phrase, therefore he must get laid a lot. Get it?
    • FadieZ, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Btw # 6 is Richard Cook
  • djironx, on 10/10/2007, -1/+129LEELOO DALLAS MULTIPASS
    • bashar129, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4That was on TNT yesterday, I watched it for about the 10th time. Can't beat Luc Besson.
      • djironx, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3YEP, watched it yesterday too, Its my Numero Uno movie of all time
        • bashar129, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2My favorite is Leon: The Professional, but The Fifth Element is definitely up there. Mostly because of Milla Jovovich.
    • Frayed_Knot, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Leeloo Dallas mul-ti-pass.
      Yeah, multipass, she knows it's a multipass. Leeloo Dallas. This is my wife.
      Mul-ti-pass.
      We're newlyweds. Just met. You know how it is. We bumped into each other, sparks happen...
      Mul-ti-pass.
      Yes, she knows it's a multipass. Anyway, we're in love.

      http://leeloodallas.ytmnd.com/
  • twrife, on 10/10/2007, -9/+109C://dos
    C://dos.run
    run.dos.run
    I laughed pretty hard at that one.
    • DigitAl56K, on 10/10/2007, -6/+38As someone who used DOS for years, that "funny" doesn't even make any sense. Perhaps that's the joke? If so, why not just write "C:bananas" ? And the slashes are backwards. And there should be only one of them.
      • doc99, on 10/10/2007, -19/+2KILL IT, DATS it ... U kill it! The only thing Beside Microsoft's Zune which is Funny, and you ruin it! Thanks!
    • Conquerist, on 10/10/2007, -11/+1That's from The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 18. We're currently at season 18, so that's 8 or 9 years old :P.
      • Dreamfiend, on 10/10/2007, -2/+5Actually that was floating around Bulliten Boards around the time Quantium Link and Apple Link where bought up by AOL in the early 90's.
        Simpsons DIDN'T do it first.
    • Archon810, on 10/10/2007, -0/+14I, for one, like the 2nd page much more. The first one is too played out.

      "The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"
    • LtXenodite, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Simpsons already did it.
  • BitwiseMcgee, on 10/10/2007, -18/+3lame. these are all from http://bash.org
  • LiamIsOnFire, on 10/10/2007, -7/+71"1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"

    I'm not sure I want to lose my virginity if I suddenly will be able to stop reading txt spk.
    • altjeringa, on 10/10/2007, -6/+61l33t 5p34k... noob
    • OutThisLife, on 10/10/2007, -1/+18I read that line without having to think about it.
    • stupergenius, on 10/10/2007, -8/+3Yeah me too, kinda scary. Prolly from misspending my youth in irc channels.
    • bethehammer, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Amazing, with all the internet fiends/digg ppl no one has mentioned that u can be a total freak of nature and buy this shirt on the best lil' t-shirt site on the web - tshirthell.com if you think that u have balls then buy their NY/airplane shirt - totally will get your ass beaten/raped within minutes =D
  • kickcows, on 10/10/2007, -1/+19r.i.p. clippy
  • nicksauce, on 10/10/2007, -10/+61Just to be a geek, I'll point out that it should be "The best geek quotations". Quote is a verb, Quotation is a noun.
    • ruley, on 10/10/2007, -3/+7just to be right, quotes is a noun
    • seether166, on 10/10/2007, -0/+22Wrong...it's both: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=quote
    • 0ceanic, on 10/10/2007, -4/+20language changes over time. geeks know that and accept it just fine.

      you're a *****.
    • byrdgang, on 10/10/2007, -7/+2No, you'd be a nerd for correcting someone else's English. Nerds are familiar with general knowledge, while geeks specifically are very familiar with technology and computers. A nerd would tell you who Einstein is, or calculate something. A geek will tell you how to do things on a computer.
    • sinn98, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9whale biologist!
  • AdmiralJimbob, on 10/10/2007, -1/+66"The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be."

    That's not a geek quote, it's a smartass quotation.
    • kcpwnsgman, on 10/10/2007, -2/+4unless you are a programmer, then its a geek quote
      • shinynew, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8Engineer.

        "The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty; its still loading," or something to that degree to make it a programmer joke.
        • Terr01, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1The glass is neither half-ful nor half-empty, it's simply very very close to when we need to grow the array.
  • DudeRoks, on 10/10/2007, -3/+53"If YOUTUBE MYSPACE i'll GOOGLE your YAHOO!"
  • f4nt0m4s, on 10/10/2007, -8/+33lllleeeeeeeeroooooooyyyyyyyy jeeeennnkiins
  • FluxHarmonic, on 10/10/2007, -1/+162My fave:

    Roses are #FF0000
    Violets are #0000FF
    All my base
    Are belong to you
  • smurf22, on 10/10/2007, -4/+9I am root!
  • sdschwendener, on 10/10/2007, -8/+42While this list is funny.. it is hardly the best 10 geek quotes. If anything it should be "10 funny geek quotes" I could find a list of 10 more relevant quotes than these that are quotes from credible people. like this one should be number 1.


    "640K of memory should be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981.
    • smurf22, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15Bill new quote - 14 gigs of memory is minimum to run Windows 7
    • D4r7h3v1l, on 10/10/2007, -3/+25Yea, that would have been good...

      had he actually said it.
    • sislar, on 10/10/2007, -3/+17Unfortunately this is not a quote, Gates claims he never said it and there is no evidence that he ever did. Its
      just become folklore at this point.
    • Jeffler, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Also, its the "top 10" cause its user voted...
    • Sparkster185, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7http://bash.org
  • ewsherm, on 10/10/2007, -4/+40Hey look at me!!1! I can put 10 random bash.org quotes on a page and call it a top 10 list!
    • gooddoggytreat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Just because they can be found on bash.org, doesn't mean that they were originally placed there.
    • glasgowm, on 10/10/2007, -7/+6 HEY EURAKARTE
      INSULT
      RETORT
      COUNTER-RETORT
      QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
      SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE ***** UP
      NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
      RIPOSTE
      ADDON RIPOSTE
      COUNTER-RIPOSTE
      COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
      NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
      RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
      WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
      ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS
      • Nok1, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2It would be funny but you killed the formatting.. and didn't link back to bash.org
    • glasgowm, on 10/10/2007, -10/+1 HEY EURAKARTE
      INSULT
      RETORT
      COUNTER-RETORT
      QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
      SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE ***** UP
      NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
      RIPOSTE
      ADDON RIPOSTE
      COUNTER-RIPOSTE
      COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
      NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
      RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
      WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
      ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS
    • linoth, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1No no no, you missed the most important part. They can put 10 random bash.org quotes... on a page with three Adsense text ads, a picture ad, a yahoo ad, and another text ad all the way at the bottom.
      There's a fine distinction. One is amusing. One is profiting from the people that click the link, expecting funny.
    • paradigm1220, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0I think it's more like 41 quotes
  • S4MF1SHER, on 10/10/2007, -0/+41"Back off man, I'm a scientist."
    -Pete Venkman
  • olddirtycr, on 10/10/2007, -0/+19Being a fellow geek, I feel embarrassed this is the best we could come up with.
    • shinynew, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4if by 'we' you mean some random guy then yes, I completely agree with you.
  • eyefone, on 10/10/2007, -1/+72Leet speak isn't for geeks anymore, 13 year old myspace users killed it
    • tech42er, on 10/10/2007, -0/+12Actually, script kiddies killed it. However, 13 year-old Myspace users merged it with txt speak Now it's just used sarcastically.
      • cquilliam, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7I've been on the internet since around 95/96, and I never remember a time when "leet speak" was ever cool.
        • doctechnical, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8'leet speak was lame in the 80s. Been there, despised that, at 2400 baud.
  • sontakey, on 10/10/2007, -3/+361. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
    2. My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.
    3. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
    4. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
    5. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
    6. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
    7. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
    8. I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
    9. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
    10. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
    • resplence, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3"If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"

      This one is terribly outdated. It should go "If at first you don't succeed; call it BETA "
  • Renton, on 10/10/2007, -6/+74Genesis Take Two

    1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from
    those he created the Word.

    2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed.
    And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was
    good.

    3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened.
    And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places.
    And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.

    4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place
    to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.
    Thus God created computers and called them hardware.

    5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small
    and big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill
    all the Memory.

    6. And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer
    will make new programs and govern over the computers and
    programs and Data.

    7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center;
    And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said
    You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE
    Windows.

    8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone.
    He took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a
    creature that would look up at the Programmer; and admire
    the Programmer; and love the things the Programmer does;
    And God called the creature: the User.

    9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS
    and it was Good.

    10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God.
    And Bill said to the User - Did God really tell you not to
    run any programs ?

    11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use every
    program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows
    or we will die.

    12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something
    you did not even try. The moment you run Windows you will
    become equal to God. You will be able to create anything you
    like by a simple click of your mouse.

    13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and
    easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless
    - since Windows could replace it.

    14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to
    the Programmers that it was good.

    15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers.
    And God asked him - What are you looking for? And the
    Programmer answered - I am looking for new drivers because I
    can not find them in the DOS. And God said - Who told you need
    drivers? Did you run Windows?
    And the Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to !

    16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated
    by all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you.
    And you will always sell Windows.

    17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows
    will disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will
    have to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the
    Programmers help.

    18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the
    User you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors
    and you will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.

    19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door
    and secured it with a password.

    20. GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT

    - Unknown
    • LordSlashstab55, on 10/10/2007, -1/+5shouldn't it be Genesis ver 2.0
    • SSCrow, on 10/10/2007, -8/+1Thank God I don't Believe in......God......
  • splitriff, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3http://duggmirror.com/offbeat_news/The_Best_Geek_Quotes_Top10_over_the_years/
  • iman79, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2My Pokemon bring all the Nerds to the Yard
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=frJ5quhBeG4
  • mb3581, on 10/10/2007, -3/+80haha, this is great.
    ------Jocks vs Nerds----
    Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.
    If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
    If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
    If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
    He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.
    He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
    If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
    If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
    He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
    Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.
    If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
    He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.
    While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.
    This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?
    However...
    If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.
    $$$ Game over. Nerd wins.
  • bdubya, on 10/10/2007, -5/+2 #1 ...and the geeks shall inherit the Earth!
  • Nerfdude, on 10/10/2007, -10/+5buried as lame, and an embarrassment to true geeks worldwide. the binary quote again? shut the hell up.
  • Battleloser, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.

    Thats pretty zenny.
  • ElwoodHerring, on 10/10/2007, -3/+0Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes

    (Google it)
    • snurfle, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Dugg up for the quote,
      Dugg down for not bothering to add the translation.
      • JoshuaH, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1How can you Digg up and Digg down...? So you did neither, is that what you're saying?
        • darthmdh, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Multiple accounts. It's been how the sole left-wing conspiracy theorist has been looking like half the digg population for the past couple of years.
    • stormgren, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4"Quid quid latine dictum sit, altum videtur."

      Everything said in Latin sounds profound.
    • D3koy, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I've got that on a Sweatshirt....but that's what a few years in the Junior Classical League will do to you...
  • sontakey, on 10/10/2007, -0/+19"17. You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation."
  • celerityfm, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4WTF no "All your base are belong to us" ? - for great justice :(
  • airtran, on 10/10/2007, -3/+1Seen this on Digg before, but still worth my Digg.

    Dugg for the ...
    Roses are #FF0000
    Violets are #0000FF
    All my base
    Are belong to you
  • graemee, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7How about,

    "She won't take much more of this." -- Scotty,

    As in the website dugg.
    • darthmoonman, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1lame but i gotta digg it as a trekke
  • Clawg, on 10/10/2007, -3/+0There are 10 types of people in the world, those who don't understand it, those who think they understand it and those who understand it.
  • miriclaire, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Hard to pick a favorite out of these. A good "submit" , Monain!
  • carl25, on 10/10/2007, -6/+1maybe i'm thinking too hard but i don't understand the first one.

    I know what binary is, so when they say 10 kinds of people, are they speaking in binary or just normal form ?
  • doctechnical, on 10/10/2007, -1/+5Massive yawn - whoever submitted this wouldn't know a decent geek quote if it asserted a non-maskable interrupt on their sphincter.

    Good geek quote: "My favorite programming language? Solder."
  • DivisibleByZero, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2The problem with popularity contests "over the years" is that the second one on the list parodies a song that's what, like 2 years old?
  • bastian89, on 10/10/2007, -2/+18Dear Tech Support:
    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

    Thanks ...Troubled User
    -------
    REPLY:

    Dear Troubled User:
    This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 installed and work on improving the configuration. I suggest installing the background application YesDear 99.0 to alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to do this before the system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and DoBills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0, but beware because sometimes these applications can be expensive.

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    WARNING!!! Attempting to install NewGirlFriend 8.8 along with Wife 1.0 will crash the system.

    (see Wife 1.0 manual, Apologize, High Maintenance & Secretary with Short Skirt)
  • TroubleInMind, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2#1 gay command line geekism
    C colon enter
    • nextse7en, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Holmes, I'm sorry to correct you.
      But its
      C colon
      Enter colon
      # # #
  • shinynew, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Make me a sandwich.
  • rezivor, on 10/10/2007, -5/+0All those were completely unoriginal and not funny.
    Apparently Nerds are also not very clever.
    • PeteLP, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Everything was original at one time. When those were they created by nerds and were very funny. JMHO
  • TBNK, on 10/10/2007, -3/+6yawn - yet another classic example of wat digg is becoming today. This article is as old as the hills and yet some poor n00b finds it and submits it to digg where all the other n00bs who have no memories of yesterday digg it and it makes it to the front page.
    sad world we digg in today....
  • Aisha417, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2These are absolutely awesome.
  • CaviMike, on 10/10/2007, -7/+2Obviously the guy who made the first quote doesn't know binary because 10 = ONE. 01 = two. I see this everywhere and it aggravates me so much. I don't care if it sounds better the other way, it's WRONG.
  • newyawker, on 10/10/2007, -0/+17I put on my robe and wizard hat.
  • alexkorova, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about Rock-n-Roll.

    - Shigeru Miyamoto
  • rumblpak, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7I did it for the lulz
    -anonymous
  • badfish0116, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2@!_!_ Y()L||2 8/$3 /-r3 8e|_0n6 +0 (_)s!!!!!!!!!!!one
  • badfish0116, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1.
  • RUSSEL760, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15.1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d this is actually used alot on myspace so i wouldnt say this is geek
  • pwnies, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6The bash.org top 100 is better.
  • holyskeleton, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1#26: Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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