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The 10 Creepiest TV Roommates
cracked.com — Zany living situations are a staple of TV comedies, with wacky live-in friends, family members and super-sexy animals having thrilled pre-recorded laugh tracks for years. Of course, you're (probably) not a pre-recorded laugh track, meaning things might get a little weird if you had to actually move in with any of the following 10 characters.
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- Anrkist, on 10/10/2007, -1/+20Hey, I didn't have to click twice to see all of them... niceee. Joey is defiantly a creepy room mate. Alf, sadly, did not make the list. He eats cats!
Oh and also that stupid robot girl from... Out of This World? Who's The Boss (Tony Danza)... and every one of the Golden Girls.- sepultura, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13Yup, looks like Cracked.com may have read the comments on Digg for their last few posts and realized that people don't want an article to be spread out on many different pages.
- richmessenger, on 10/10/2007, -2/+0I'd way rather live with Alf than uncle Joey! What about Harry (Harry and the Hendersons)
- LacY, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8Wasn't the robot girl on Small wonder? I think Out of this World had a girl who'd dad was an alien...
- davewashere, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Yeah, it was Small Wonder. Her name was Vicki, and she was played by the worst child actor of all time.
- brockdjwest, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8yeah, Tony Danza needs to be on this list. Not his character from Who's The Boss, just himself. And Jon Arbuckle would've surely gone ***** insane after all the years of female denial. Dugg.
- funsutton, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Ok, first of all, Tim "the toolman" Taylor wasn't a roommate.
And you can't describe Mork as creepy. I'd live with mork anyday...
- funsutton, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Ok, first of all, Tim "the toolman" Taylor wasn't a roommate.
- 007ami, on 10/10/2007, -3/+10How could they forget Jack Tripper of Three's Company?! Good old Jack pretended to be gay so that he could continue living with the hotties, Janet and Chrissy. Now if that is not a creepy roommate, I don't know what is!
http://www.tvland.com/shows/threescompany/character1.jhtml - pseudostatik, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Erm, Jon's got a girlfriend in Liz. Still freaky with all that polka dancing though.
- SirBriggs, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2He finally got her after the comic has been around for 25 years, yeah.
I mean, I don't read Garfield.
- SirBriggs, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2He finally got her after the comic has been around for 25 years, yeah.
- jmpeagle, on 10/13/2007, -1/+42holy *****!!! All on ONE page. DUGG
- LegendarySock, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I was surprised too!
- benitojuarez, on 10/10/2007, -8/+7When will people stop submitting every single new article from cracked.com
- elnerdo, on 10/10/2007, -2/+5To the article's credit: It was pretty damn funny.
- consonance, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1It's one of the few Cracked articles I've actually laughed at.
- elnerdo, on 10/10/2007, -2/+5To the article's credit: It was pretty damn funny.
- mathchemist, on 10/10/2007, -1/+7What about Charlie Murphy's character from The Mad Real World?
- burntice, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Night night, keep your butthole tight!
- lordtyros, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4"You should never let anyone put you in the sleeper hold. Because the next morning, your anus will really hurt."
- burntice, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Night night, keep your butthole tight!
- profOblivion, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4I nominate Cal from Undergrads. "I won't let you do it, best-pal-guy! I won't let you throw away your life for sex!"
- Bakkster, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Cal: "Oh phew, guy. Good thing I never sleep with any of my lady friends! We just play a little game I like to call 'unprotected sex'."
- berfmurret, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3i swear to gawd i always thought balki hailed from meatballs... O_____o
- josegutz, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2What about Kip and Henry on Bosom Buddies? I mean here is two guys who dress up like women just to get a "good deal" for apartment rent the can afford...If living in an apartment building with that many babes around isn't a good deal enough...
- kehvin, on 10/10/2007, -11/+3Zany living situations are a staple of TV comedies, with wacky live-in friends, family members and super-sexy animals having thrilled pre-recorded laugh tracks for years. Of course, you're (probably) not a pre-recorded laugh track, meaning things might get a little weird if you had to actually move in with any of the following 10 characters. And by “weird,” we mean that you'd (probably) get molested.
#10.LYNN BELVEDERE (Mr. Belvedere)
An elderly chap who immigrated to America specifically to make bitchy comments to elementary and high school students, Lynn Belvedere gets dressed up in a coat and tie to wash eight-year-old Wesley's underwear, and ends each day with a detailed diary entry about the children.
If You Moved In
“Hey, what are you doing in your room with the door locked. Mr. Belvedere?”
“Oh, nothing, just writing a lengthy journal entry about you youngsters.”
“It sounds like you're weeping in there, Mr. Belvedere.”
“Oh, Wesley… Wesley, Wesley, Wesley…”
#9.LARRY APPLETON (Perfect Strangers)
Live-in cousins Balki and Larry are socially awkward Chicago residents who struggle to interact with the opposite sex. Balki, at least, has a decent excuse: he's a recent immigrant from the fictional island nation of Mypos (i.e. Greece). Larry, on the other hand, was born and raised right there in Chicago, so your guess is as good as ours on that one.
If You Moved In
“Larry, I think it's hilarious how you and Balki are both interpersonal cripples who have no idea how to relate to people here in the States. Things must be pretty different over in Mypos.”
“Um, I grew up five minutes from here.”
“Say, how ‘bout those Cubs?”
#8.JOEY GLADSTONE (Full House)
A grown man who has wagered his entire stand-up comedy career on his ability to accurately mimic the voice of a cartoon character that was on TV from 1959-1964, Gladstone is virtually unemployed and shows an inappropriate amount of interest in under-18 girls. All of Joey's roommates dread the strictly enforced twice-daily two-hour story time on his lap.
If You Moved In
“Hey Joey, did you ever think about moving out? You know, getting your own place?”
“If I move out, who'll help the girls shower?”
“Joey, your erection is clearly visible, and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop talking like Bullwinkle while we have this discussion.”
“'Hey, Rocky! Wanna see me pull a…'”
“No. No, I don't want to see you pull anything out of anything else.”
#7.NORM PETERSON (Cheers)
This marginally employed alcoholic keeps his wife a captive in her own home, very rarely allowing her to see the light of day and/or partake in any human contact other than his sporadic, drunken visits. He insults her ruthlessly, making her fearful of the outside world, and she is therefore never seen outside of her dark psychological prison.
If You Moved In
“Hey, Norm, maybe you should take it easy on Vera. She's trembling and I think she's gone blind.”
“Hell no, friend! If she ever finishes chewing through that chain there'll be hell to pay. Plus, she's fat and ugly and stupid, aren't you, Vera?”
#6.MICHELANGELO (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Ignoring the fact that Michelangelo is a giant radioactive turtle who refuses to wear pants, his unorthodox pizza-only diet deprives him of many nutrients essential to physical and mental health. Which might go a long way towards explaining why he has a seven-word vocabulary and lives in a sewer.
If You Moved In
“Pizza, dude! I want some pizza! Cowabunga!”
“Listen, we've had pizza every night for the last month. Maybe we could just try a salad or something.”
“Cowabunga! Pizza, dude!”
“Ow, ow, ow! Jesus! Alright, we'll get some ***** pizza! Just put the nunchucks down.”
“Cowabunga, dude!”
“You don't look so good, man—say, are you sure that kid under your bed was already dead when we moved in?”
#5.CODY LAMBERT (Step By Step)
An attractive, relatively capable man in his mid-20s, Cody has willfully chosen to take up residence in an old RV in his aunt and uncle's driveway. Despite his family's repeated pleas to come inside the house, Cody remains oddly stuck in his ways.
If You Moved In
“Hey, Cody, it's 20 below zero outside and there's a perfectly good guest bedroom in here that you could move into.”
“Nah, I think I'll just stay with the RV if that's cool.”
“I don't know—how about you come inside just for the night? You look cold, man.”
“I SAID I NEED TO STAY IN MY RV I NEED TO STAY IN MY RV JUST LEAVE ME ALONE *****!”
#4.MORK (Mork & Mindy)
There are two possible scenarios that explain why Mork is a creepy roommate. Under the first, he's an alien from outer space and the authorities should be contacted immediately. Or, alternatively, he is a middle-aged record store employee who believes that he's an alien from outer space and the authorities should be contacted immediately.
But other than the alien thing, and if you can ignore the fact that he dresses like a gay circus clown, and behaves like a less funny version of the guy who does voices from Police Academy if that guy were white, hairy and on fistfuls of cocaine, Mork's really a chill guy.
If You Moved In
“Where'd you say you were from again, Mork?”
“Why, the planet Ork, of course! Mork from Ork!”
“Well, that's funny, because I just went onto Classmates.com, and it says here that your name is Steve and you're from Missouri.”
“Mork from Ork! Mork from Ork! Who on Ork are all these men in white jackets? Are they friends of yours? Let go of me, Earthlings!”
#3.TIM TAYLOR (Home Improvement)
It's one thing to share your home with someone who's always going through your belongings—maybe he's just concerned about you. But it's another for him to go through your ***** and inexplicably try to add high-horsepower motors to it whenever possible.
If You Moved In
“Um, Tim, it's just a sock drawer—it opens fine just like it is. See?”
“MORE POWER!”
“Tim, Tim, Tim—wait. [Grabs drill] Listen, it's three in the morning, and I have work tomorrow. Why don't you just try to get some sleep?”
“[Weeping loudly] It needs more power, don't you see? You ALL need more power! [Runs downstairs to talk to Wilson]”
#2.THE SKIPPER (Gilligan's Island)
The only reason that Gilligan and co. were stranded on that island is because the sadistic Skipper kept them there. What kind of captain worth his salt couldn't repair a boat with a staff of six able-bodied adults and an unlimited supply of lumber? Especially considering that they couldn't have blown off course by more than a couple of miles? If he hadn't enjoyed shacking up with Gilligan and watching the other castaways wallow in stranded misery, those poor castaways could've been home by dinner.
If You Moved In
“Skipper, what do you think about trying to build a new boat today? We have all these trees and one of us is a super-intelligent professor.”
“Uh, not today, son. No, today's no good. I'll just have to sleep in my little bungalow with Gilligan for another night, and watch you all cling to life for another day.”
#1.JON ARBUCKLE (Garfield and Friends)
Jon Arbuckle is a vaguely employed virgin in his 30s who spends his work week hanging around his house talking an orange housecat. Additionally, with each passing day, his desperate failures with the opposite sex make Garfield, Odie and any other roommate more and more likely to become the victim of a frustrated sexual assault.
If You Moved In
“Jon, you're talking to the cat again.”
“Yes, I know. You just don't understand—I can hear his thoughts.”
“I see… So can you hear the dog's thoughts, too?”
“What are you, crazy? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! A talking dog—what'll they think of next, Garfield? What's that, Garfield? Yes, you're so right, Garfield. You always are. If only I could find a woman like you. [Pets Garfield inappropriately hard]” - xwildoutxx, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3No George Costanza?
- nthitz, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Yea I would've said Kramer was more of a roommate. He's certainly more creepy than GLC.
- postalblowfish7, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1they both lived alone in their own apartments.
- lindseylu, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8Where's Master Shake on this list?
- Unclekoolaid, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3I shall not walk so a child may live! That's what it does!
- postalblowfish7, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2agreed
- MrSketch, on 10/10/2007, -3/+1No Lazlo, no digg.
- MrSketch, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Oops, TV roommates, not movie roommates, digg me down...
- habbofresh, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1***** .i was about to mention Dupree.
- fuzzynyanko, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Actually Garfield has taken a new turn because the guy is actually dating. He's still a dork though. However, after reading this and after a set of "Garfield jealousy"...
- invisiblehat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Dugg because they finally heeded the comments of Diggers and put an article on one freakin' page. They should've included the Fonz though...
- Zidul, on 10/10/2007, -4/+1Wow, i recognize...2 of all those people from TV. how about something more current.
- zachshmack, on 10/10/2007, -1/+6Perhaps because TV has been around for more than 14 years?
- SpaceMonkeyZero, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Don't worry, I'm sure Cracked has at least ONE Pokemon reference to satisfy you non-Gen-Xers.
- 5xSTUN, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4What, no YOUNG ONES?
Come ON!- chihsuanmen, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0FACISTS!
- pixelbasic, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1"What we need is a large consignment of very hard drugs."
- UndeadZmobie, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1How about the guy from the Stride gum commercials in that upcoming "Big Bang Theory"?
Maybe the flavor does last too long... - givinupthefight, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0being that the comments on digg are coming up with a better (and funnier) list then the article itself, I'm gonna go ahead and say no digg. profOblivion nailed it with Cal from undergrads, and lindseylu also with Master Shake. Both much creepier than anything on the list, digg up to both of you. (and apologies to all for not replying directly but no way to do it to both w/o comment abuse)
- postalblowfish7, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2i wish there was a way to simply block all stories with 'www.cracked.com' as a source. trashy site, lame articles, and all the comments are "what, no _____?!! come on!"
- morrislevy, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4Not even one laugh. Buried for not being funny.
- drmobutu, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3No more "Ten Most" lists, please.
- smolakian, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Yeah, the Cracked spam is getting old.
- TheMidnight, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3What about Meatwad, Master Shake or Frylock? I'd say if those were my roommates, life would be much weirder than with any of those guys--random kidnapping rainbows, Mooninites, and bomb scares in Boston, and all...
- fhernand, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1did michelangelo really say "*****"? but that's not pg-13, WHAT THE *****?
edit: never mind.. if i moved in... damn, read all of it, ALL OF IT - jstem1994, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Tim Taylor was the DAD! Roommate??
- DangerMouse9, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Dugg down for not including the people from digg, talk about not wanting to leave your two year old daughter alone with someone...
- MiltonWaddams, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1No Scott Baio in "Charles in Charge"......really?
- gigamyke, on 05/08/2008, -0/+0I can't believe they included Joey on that list. Now he may have only been in a few episodes, but I say Eddie, Chandler's temporary roommate from friends. Watching you sleep at night and clearly psychopathic.
- StarbucksCrazee, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Hahahaha oh man I thought I was the only one who remembered Perfect Strangers!!
- comineeyeaha, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1call me crazy, but I love the lists from cracked. They're so damned witty
- ApartmentDiggs, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I can't believe that Herman Munster didn't make it on the list. Of all of those, I'd definitely have to say that Mr. Belvedere would be the creepiest. Yeah, he would clean up after you being a butler and all, but he always had a suit and just new too much about peoples business. Although....switch it up to Nell Carter from Gimme A Break and things would be very different. Nell was the bomb. I'd have to throw a vote out there for Tatu from Love Boat being a pretty weird one too.
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