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More men taking wives' last names

usatoday.com — Only seven states allow a man to change his name as easily as a woman can after marriage. The move is also sure to shock friends and family as the Salingers found out at their wedding reception. Mike Buday even went as far as suing California for gender discrimination for the ridicule he faced as he tried to change his last name to Bijon.

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  • farrell13, on 10/12/2007, -55/+169Unless your last name is Focker, I see no point in doing this.
    • Rooster99, on 10/12/2007, -85/+76Bloody girly men...
    • wild, on 10/12/2007, -63/+53I had a college professor that did it with the hyphen.

      Honestly, I think it aligns to what I think. Its a partnership and a friendship and it shows a line of respect for her.
    • vniow, on 10/12/2007, -41/+130@ farrell13: Is there really a point to wives taking their husband's last name then?
    • FyreGoddess, on 10/12/2007, -64/+105There used to a point to taking the husband's name and some of the fellas in this thread are the product of that line of thinking.

      It was because women were considered property. There was no line of respect, it was a business arrangement, first and foremost. She took his name because she was leaving her (father's) home and, essentially, changing ownership.

      Having the same name still, to a large degree means that you belong to each other. I see absolutely nothing wrong with taking either, both or a combination of the two for both partners to share.
    • futureb, on 10/12/2007, -62/+60it implies subservience on the woman's part. when i was married i just told my wife to keep her last name. there is no reason that she should have to take on my family's identity. we have a partnership...where we respect each other on equal terms.
    • iceperson, on 10/12/2007, -71/+35does anyone else imagine fyregoddess as that fat chick from boondock saints that got all indignant when someone said "rule of thumb"? 10 bucks she uses spellings like herstory and womyn.
    • iceperson, on 10/12/2007, -16/+197"it implies subservience on the woman's part. when i was married i just told my wife to keep her last name."

      you told her to eh? how nice of you.
    • mrwiggles123, on 10/12/2007, -57/+46Grow a spine men
    • raynar, on 10/12/2007, -52/+241This just in: Women's homes raided, jars of testicles found.
    • dbstovall, on 10/12/2007, -12/+33My 9th grade English teacher always told us how sexist it was to expect a woman to change her name and that she didn't take her husbands name. Then we found out the real reason she didn't change her name. Her husbands name was Lecher. I don't blame her one bit. But at least his name wasn't asswipe (pronounces azz-wee-pay).
    • Rosco, on 10/12/2007, -18/+70Time to kick him out of the Mens Club
      http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2007/20070321.jpg
    • W00DR0W, on 10/12/2007, -41/+15Actually it makes a lot of sense when you consider that male lineages can be traced very easily using the Y-chromosome.

      Women don't have the ability to find their direct ancestors as men do, so it's much more fair to the women to let her last name be passed on to her daughter; so as to preserve the identity of her family tree.

      Or you could say screw them and have the Y and the Name, your choice.

    • lieutenantmudd, on 10/12/2007, -6/+83While I probably won't change my last name, I can see why some guys would want to. I knew this guy who hated and was estranged from his own family. He loved and adored his girlfriend's family, so when they got married, he said he wanted to be part of their family not his, so he changed his last name to his wife's.
    • tcquad, on 10/12/2007, -8/+44@W00DR0W

      Wow. You'd be right, except you're exactly wrong. It's much, much easier to track maternal lines using mitochondrial DNA, which comes exclusively from the egg.
    • libertao, on 10/12/2007, -1/+43It makes sense for down the road for all the family to have one name (mailboxes, invitations, identifying which parents are with which child at a school, voicemail greetings etc.) and if you have to choose one, and its meaningless which way, why not just do the traditional one? I'm glad my wife sees that at least.

      That said, having it easy to change one way but not the other on a license is ridiculous. But of course, government involvement in the state of my relationship with my wife is even more freaking ridiculous.
    • lieutenantmudd, on 10/12/2007, -9/+7@wooddrow
      "Actually it makes a lot of sense when you consider that male lineages can be traced very easily using the Y-chromosome."

      That's a stupid reason. By that reasoning it make alot more sense to take your wife's name when you consider that female lineages can be trace much easier through mitrochondrial DNA than male lineages through Y-chromosomes
    • MrUnderbridge, on 10/12/2007, -10/+6"Actually it makes a lot of sense when you consider that male lineages can be traced very easily using the Y-chromosome.

      Women don't have the ability to find their direct ancestors as men do, so it's much more fair to the women to let her last name be passed on to her daughter; so as to preserve the identity of her family tree."

      Mitochondrial DNA, bud. Passed on from mother to her offspring, male or female. It's actually quite trivial to trace maternal ancestry - actually quite easier than tracing paternal ancestry for a girl. As such, I propose we keep our current system of passing down the father's name, so we don't lose that link for the girls. ;)
    • datastorageguy, on 10/12/2007, -42/+20Any man who takes his wife's last name is a pussy ok? Most of you are thinking it, at least I have the balls to say it.
    • satanatnmtedu, on 10/12/2007, -12/+57If I were to get married, I would consider taking my wife's name. Why? I was adopted (and name changed) when I was 12 by a man I despise. I had hoped that a legal relationship might change his attitude towards me, and I was 12. I didn't know that it wouldn't matter at all. I would never be his biological son, and he could only produce daughters to his dismay. So, I do not want to pass on his name to any offspring, who could take their mother's name even if I didn't change my own.

      But, if you think having the woman take your name is a sign of manhood, then you are seriously flawed, IMO.
    • sundancekid503, on 10/12/2007, -11/+3oops.. vote quinby
    • JoeCool1986, on 10/12/2007, -17/+43Does anyone realize how this RUINS future geneology? heh........ good luck great great great great grandkids on figuring out who your ancestors were.
    • rnwen2750, on 10/12/2007, -10/+6W00DR0W, Wrong. The line of descent is carried through the mitochondrial DNA, which is passed on to the next generation via THE MOTHER. Get your facts straight before you start trying to put "women in their place."
    • LocalDocal, on 10/12/2007, -12/+12You know, I have the solution to this whole problem. If the woman you marry doesn't want to change her last name and you're sure as hell not going to either, then why not let everything remain the same? Then all is happy. She gets to keep her independence, you won't have anything to regret, and everything is right with the cosmos.
    • krellor, on 10/12/2007, -12/+7I could understanding doing this if your wife had no brothers to continue on her family's name, but you had brothers who would continue on your family's name. I would never do this as I may be the only one, including cousins, who can continue on my fathers name, which would be a shame since we have traced our lineage back to the original American settlers from Europe, and would essentially end the family tree. But for those who do not have this concern, there is no reason not to. It should be personal choice. And it's a better alternative to all the bloody hyphenated names that keep popping up.

      Also, as to the who it makes women subservient thing, that's lame imo. It is just cultural tradition. If you don't like it don't do it, but it's not like there is some sort of conspiracy to deprive you of your name and rights. Reminds me of all the bra burning because they were seen as a symbol of female oppression. Ridiculous.
    • mikepictor, on 10/12/2007, -9/+36It's about time. There is no reason not to allow a man to change his name to match his wife. I see nothing wrong with a woman changing her name, but equally nothing wrong with it going the other way around. Whatever the couple is comfortable with. We are long past the age of marriage being about the transfer of ownership of the woman, and I'd like to think, reaching a place where it's all about making a couple, and a family, with both patners equally respected.

      Personally, I think there should even be a provision for inventing a whole new last name (beyond the hyphenated thing)
    • iceperson, on 10/12/2007, -13/+4"W00DR0W, Wrong. The line of descent is carried through the mitochondrial DNA, which is passed on to the next generation via THE MOTHER. Get your facts straight before you start trying to put "women in their place.""

      So what you're saying is that a man's last name is all he really has to pass on? Honestly though, I'm not sure why we even have men anymore. Clearly they're obsolete. Everything you need from them can be harvested and stored for later use.
    • krellor, on 10/12/2007, -3/+20@iceperson

      Jars. Men open jars. Can't harvest that.

      Edit: Oh, and on a serious note, in case your not just joking/trolling, the same is true of women. We could (as in some cultures) treat the women as chattle to be bred and locked up. We don't (and other cultures shouldn't) because of basic human rights regardless of gender, etc... and imature pissing contest about which gender is "better".
    • pt4117, on 10/12/2007, -4/+30I'm a little confused about the hyphen thing. What happens when your kids, with hyphenated names, marry someone with a hyphenated name? Do they combine them, and make a four part last name?
    • Nozavroni, on 10/12/2007, -4/+2@datastorageguy

      yea you're the first one to say that. :: rolls eyes ::
    • berwiki, on 10/12/2007, -4/+13@JoeCool

      future genealogy? umm... pretty much everything from this point on will be indexed, categorized and easily searchable for the rest of time. Looking up genealogy will be easier than ever, regardless of last names. Thanks to primary-keys and low-cost massive storage.
    • rnwen2750, on 10/12/2007, -2/+0iceperson, no what I said is that W00-whatever's statement about how geneological studies are complete is wrong.
    • PleaseJustDie, on 10/12/2007, -3/+3@pt4117

      From all the people I know who do that, the children get the male's paternal last name and the wife's paternal last name hyphenated.
    • MentalVasectomy, on 10/12/2007, -18/+5I don't care if my name was Dick Zucker, I'd still be keeping it before I took a woman's name.
    • Dred, on 10/12/2007, -21/+7There are no men left in California are there? I thought all that was left at there was gays. That is why they taking womans last name, because they want to be a woman.
    • michaelkirk, on 10/12/2007, -6/+35If the man wants to change his name -- LET HIM!!! This should be a non-issue people. He wants to change his name, not yours. I would not want to change my name, but I don't care what the other guy does. Don't be so judgmental.
    • iceperson, on 10/12/2007, -4/+2@ kreller

      name a culture that says mothers are unnecessary.
    • bobbydiamondz, on 10/12/2007, -6/+16My mom didn't take my dad's surname, so my last name is Johnson-Smith. My wife's parents are the same way. Her last name is Roberts-Andrews. My son? His last name is Johnson-Smith-Roberts-Andrews. I can't wait for grandkids. I think we'll just start using initials and move them around until they spell something. For instance my son could go by Michael J.A.R.S. It'll be like a game of nomenclature scrabble.


    • tomfoolry, on 10/12/2007, -3/+3bobbydiamondz-

      I also have a hyphenated last name, and that is why I plan on my children taking my wife-to-be's last name. I probably won't change mine when we get married, as I'm fond of my name. But no need to continue the confusion caused by hyphens.
    • agrodable, on 10/12/2007, -13/+4i see no problem with a woman refusing to change her name... that is... so long as she wears a sign that says, "i'm a bull-dyke don't open any doors for me, don't let me go first into an elevator, don't stand up for me when i approach a dinner table, and don't give up your seat on the subway."

    • DopeWeasel, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11I want to do this...

      I was adopted by an abusive step-parent and I am now cursed with his name. Because of this I really would like to take her name when we get married, but living here in Texas I'm pretty sure I would have more troubles than a guy from Cali.
    • superpotential, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9in south india, the women and children traditionally take the father's *first* name as their own surnames. so, there is no such thing as a "family name" going down the line, even from father to son.
    • akzidenzgrotesk, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4as a woman, i just always figured i'd take whichever name i liked better and sounded better with my first name. it also depends on how old i am and how established i am career-wise by the time i get married. in my field, last names don't seem to matter much (i'm not an actress or anybody who relies on name recognition of any sort), so it'll all depend on the dynamics of the relationship, my husband's feelings about it, and, most importantly, whether or not his last name acceptable (if it's really awful, he is, of course, perfectly welcome to take my name).
    • jcarrion1976, on 10/12/2007, -11/+341. Man takes Woman's last name.
      2. Woman takes Mans Testicles
      3. Woman takes half of what Man owns and dumps his ass for a real man that will stand up to her.
      4. Man takes back his last name.
    • galaticsmurf, on 10/12/2007, -8/+5I give the guys some credit for trying to make it easier to change the names....

      in the grand scheme of things, who really cares.

      E.g. My Mother was never married, hence I technically have her name, call it Smith. So I am technically Mr. Smith, now hypothetically if I were to have kids they would be Kid 1 smith, kid 2 smith, etc. So they have my name under the current system... except my lineage is through my mother, my kids would be through me, their father.

      Except, that isn't likely to happen, I'm gay. So that leaves this possibility....

      I get married when it's legal to my boyfriend, his last name is well lets go for Jones..... so then say we hyphenate, because the folks in the article made it easy for us to do so..... So now we are Mr. Jones Smith and Mr. Jones Smith. Say we adopt kids now, so then Kid 1 becomes Kid 1 Smith jones, and Kid 2 likewise becomes Kid 2 Jones Smith. Interesting now your linage is traced through 2 males... except then it his a weird branch, and since you're technically adopted, ooops, before you know it, your family tree looks like one derived from greek Mythology...

      It all comes down to a name doesn't matter * much * and we live in an antiquated society...

    • phike, on 10/12/2007, -9/+3If the guy has a last name such as Tinkle, Butt, *****, Kuntz, Trollope or Crumpacker then I would understand. Otherwise, the guy's last name should be changed to whipped.
    • ray901, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5My wife of 17 years still had her own last name (we were too lazy to do all of the paperwork).
      Mr Buday probably should have changed his name anyway as it sounds like an Ausie trying to say "bidet"
    • deadordying, on 10/12/2007, -2/+4@ bobbydiamondz

      Christ, if my parents did that to me, I'd legally change my name to something short and simple as soon as I turned 18. That's just cruel.
    • KataLieb, on 10/12/2007, -8/+6Nah, America isnt about freedom. Its about the illusion of freedom and democracy. Keeps the sheep happy and obeyant. Youll notice that the moment you dare do something like...lessee...take your beloved womans surname, or be GAY for gods sakes! Then, my friend, out comes the lynching mob of Tradition, God and Patriotism!
    • kutza, on 10/12/2007, -6/+1Actually, this is retarded as it serves a point. A family's name is typically carried on through the male for archaeological purposes, whereas it USED to be carried on through the female. Thus it doesn't matter whether it's the male or female, it just has to be consistent.

      Also, genealogy for his family will now be that much more difficult, and assuming the tradition doesn't change, imagine what the generations following him will think... Plus if his wife had no brothers, it would probably look like 'he' got a sex change. Think about it...
    • csudcy, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3@iceperson

      No, but when women spell words like 'history' and 'women' wrong, that annoys the hell out of me!
    • OwdenBowden, on 10/12/2007, -6/+1There is one and only reason for a man to take his wifes last name and that is because she is loaded!

      Not dugg to "gayness" of any man taking his wifes name.
    • CDHarrisUSF, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4@Rosco

      Gabe's first draft was better... http://www.penny-arcade.com/img/3-21-07c.jpg
    • CornStarch, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4@tcquad

      I don't care for W00DROW's point but you are dead wrong tcquad. The Y chromosome is transfered virtually unchanged from father to son and is the easiest way to identify paternity.

      Now the mitochondria is more useful for tracing linage further back in time, but is not very accurate for paternity.
    • whiterussian, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Barry Lyndon would approve.
    • punx, on 10/12/2007, -2/+3I considered keeping my maiden name when I got married, and even did for a few years. But eventually I realized that once I married my husband and had kids, that we became our own family. My father passed down his name to me, and frankly I preferred my maiden name to my married one. So when I changed my name, I went from being identified as being of Scottish heritage to German with my married name, so I suppose at first I felt like I was losing part of who I was. But here's the thing. My father's name was important to me when I wasn't married. Now that I am, I want my kids to have their father's name, just as I had mine. And when the girls marry, I hope they will take their husband's name. They become part of another family. That's not to say they are no longer part of mine, but they will have kids and pass their husband's name to their kids, and so on. I think a man wanting both his wife and his kids to share his name isn't friggin' sexist, it's a sign of respect, and it's part of becoming a family.
    • codemonkeysteve, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Why should either person take the other's name? If you're starting a new family, why not just pick a new name entirely?

      That's what I did when I got married. Had a horrible 13-letter non-hyphenated hyphenated last name that I was happy to ditch, and my wife wasn't too attached to her last name, so we just picked a new one: 5 letters, easy to spell and pronounce, and since it's more common, provides a certain level of anonymity. It was only $40 and I had to go to court to attest that I wasn't change my name to avoid responsibility for debts or anything, but walked out with a shiny new name.

      While I was at it, I changed my middle name, too. Is "Trouble" too corny?
    • IzeasGT, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1"The Raymond referred to, I understood to be the gentleman present, and him I understood to be Mr Camilla."
      -Great Expectations, chapter 11

      P.S. - My mother uses her maiden name. And I read one story where a couple decided that any sons would get the dad's name, daughters would get the mom's.
    • glock22ownr, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1@vniow:

      Is there a point to marriage?
    • JimV, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Just imagine what would happen if everyone combined last names when they got married.

      Mr. Smith marries Ms. Brown = Mr and Mrs. Smith-Brown

      Mr. Smith-Brown marries Ms. Johnson-Taylor = Mr and Mrs. Smith-Brown-Johnson-Taylor

      Mr. Smith-Brown-Johnson-Taylor marries Ms. Williams-Peddington-Miller-Greene = Mr. and Mrs. Smith-Brown-Johnson-Taylor-Williams-Peddington-Miller-Greene

      And so on...
    • Metasquares, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1The practice is probably a relic of the patrilineal descent system. In other words, there's a tradition of lineage continuing through the father.
    • FoxifiedNutjob, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Marriage is a farce.

      Anyone that would voluntarily involve the state in their personal affairs is a complete moron, period.

  • bmking, on 10/12/2007, -53/+62Headline: "Man has no sack... takes wife's last name."
    • senorcool, on 10/12/2007, -29/+62*whip sound*
    • drlha, on 10/12/2007, -55/+9Whoopah! (sorry obscure Friends reference)
    • antifreeze11, on 10/12/2007, -13/+77friends references are not welcome here. South Park, Futurama, and cult movies only.
    • libertao, on 10/12/2007, -5/+25And be sure to cite Penn & Teller in your political arguments.
    • Gryffydd, on 10/12/2007, -7/+3This must be some new definition of the word "men" that I wasn't previously aware of...

      Is that reference OK? :)
    • frodsteamin2, on 10/12/2007, -9/+3Headline: "Man has no sack... takes wife's last name."

      thanks, i rest my case!
    • cliffzdude, on 10/12/2007, -10/+22The Pussification of American Men grows...

    • badfrog, on 10/12/2007, -15/+12My wife hinted at keeping her name once when we were still engaged. My reply was "There will be no problem keeping your last name if there's no wedding."

      Learn to put a foot down, guys.
    • JackOCat, on 10/12/2007, -7/+10 Misogynist much? I though you Americans were all about freedom ! Or is proving you d*** size by mocking this practice more important?
    • MaynardJK, on 10/12/2007, -7/+6"There will be no problem keeping your last name if there's no wedding."

      Exactly. I am fine with her not doing the traditional last name as long as she is fine with me not wasting the traditional tons of money on an engagement ring and wedding.

      JP FTW
    • prockcore, on 10/12/2007, -7/+9badfrog: lemme guess. she dumped your retarded ass.
    • badfrog, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3No, she took my name, jackass.
  • SeanEtCetera, on 10/12/2007, -25/+17So he took his wife's name? I'm curious why he's getting flak about it. When it comes down to it, men are the rand() of determining if the child is a boy or a girl. They don't even pass on anything special, such as mitochondrial DNA or anything of that nature. Really, you should care who you are related to, not what their name is.
    • profOblivion, on 10/12/2007, -3/+14Whew, I thought for a second I was the only one who just sorta shrugged.

      But the article does mention one of the reasons in the Buday/Bijon case: "to show his affinity for his father-in-law." Are you kidding me? I can totally see doing it just because. Or if the guy really doesn't like his own family or name. Or even something as trivial as getting tired of people misspelling his own last name. But to suck up to an in-law? No way. And I'd be offended if my wife took my name just to suck up to my family.
    • mutatron, on 10/12/2007, -2/+4Yeah, the Y-chromosome is nothing special, it just passes from male to male and only from male to male.
    • lieutenantmudd, on 10/12/2007, -1/+18My friend has a hyphenated last name. She claims it to be the bain of her bureacratic existence. Apparently modern databases have a hell of a time with 17 letter last names with a - in the middle.
    • eyreka, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Yes! -- 'surnames' names are relatively irrelevant, family (relatedness) is what counts.
  • rzucco, on 10/12/2007, -51/+59Misleading title, as a Man would never do that. This guy is a shell of a man beaten down who can stand for nothing.
    • neoneddy, on 10/12/2007, -32/+49Yes, I motion for a revocation of his Man Card!
    • raynar, on 10/12/2007, -31/+13He doesnt deserve a penis.
    • KSUdesigner, on 10/12/2007, -13/+79There are different circumstances with each couple. Honestly I'll probably take my future wife's last name instead of her taking mine. Not because I'm any less of a man as other people here are claiming would be the reason, but because I have issues with my parents (they stole my identity last year) and really don't care to carry on this family name after the ***** they have pulled. Everybody has their reasons for what name they take, but how the hell does changing your name make you any less of a man?
    • ImOscar, on 10/12/2007, -8/+31I don't really see what the big deal is.
    • bitt3n, on 10/12/2007, -6/+46"how the hell does changing your name make you any less of a man?"

      it does if you change it to 'Glenda'.
    • MrUnderbridge, on 10/12/2007, -3/+14"how the hell does changing your name make you any less of a man?"

      A man would know the answer to that.
    • cliffzdude, on 10/12/2007, -7/+5@y ksudesigner,

      While you are at it why not change your first name? I'd vote for Dorothy in your case.

      Yes I'll be Dugg down to hell for that comment, but I mean damn. WHY is it computer geeks are such pussies? It makes me reall, REALLY sad to see how ***** pussified the geek squad is. You CAN be smart and geeky and keep your nuts.
    • amoirae, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1So many on here seem invested in the choices of others and applying their often ignorant value judgements of said choices.

      How do the choices of these couples affect you? You'll still be dragging your knuckles on the floor and we'll all know that your DNA shouldn't be perpetuated. Your lack of evolution, ignorance and immaturity will generally be noticed and you won't have to worry about such trifles as weddings and name change issues. You'll be more concerned about the escalating price of prostitutes and the growing number of them that tell you there isn't enough money in the world for them to ***** you, you pathetic excuses for possessors of an XY chromosome pair.
  • Detritus, on 10/12/2007, -17/+14While this guy admits that he's just being a jackass to stir the pot, I have to say I am amused by it. Women all over are starting to wake up to the fact that they are the majority and they have ultimate power, which is cause for resentment when it comes to traditions that signified the wife as property. Any man who gives up his last name at this point is just ahead of the curve.

    We live in interesting times, where gender roles are no longer rigid and defined, we are freer every day to explore new combinations within our relationships. My neighbors are planning their family right now; since the wife has more education and greater earning potential the husband will be the one staying home with the kids. And these guys aren't West-Coast liberals, we're talking Southern-Midwest folks. I know that will freak out a few fundies, but honestly... are they supposed to stick with tradition just for the sake of tradition or do what is best for their family? That is, in my opinion, a greater freedom than any name ever gave.
  • GrayOne, on 10/12/2007, -23/+51Am I the only one that likes gender roles?
    • rnwen2750, on 10/12/2007, -16/+15Probably because you (a male) are the only one benefitting from it.
    • mikepictor, on 10/12/2007, -12/+13@rnwen

      big digg for you. Gender roles are easy to appreciate for men, as society has built us up to have all the gender related privilege.

      There should be nothing a given gender is "supposed" to do. Try to be an individual instead of letting yourself get defined by whether you have a y chromosome or not.
    • aliengoods, on 10/12/2007, -12/+23Men are the only ones benefitting from gender roles? How so? If we go by gender roles, the man has to find the job and support the family. The women get to watch Oprah. Oh, that's right, they 'manage' the home. Now the last thing I want is to find a 1950's wife, but don't give me this 'only men benefit' *****.
    • mikepictor, on 10/12/2007, -14/+8"the man has to find the job and support the family"

      he does?

      stay at home dads exist you know, by their preference. Your statement shows an incredible gender arrogance. Why can't the wife earn the family bread....or both of them?
    • xtmno3, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9@mike: We are talking traditional gender roles. In the past it was unheard of for men to stay home while women went and worked. The husband was the bread winner and worker. The wife kept the house in order and watched the children while the husband was not around.

      You are trying to talk modern day gender-indiscriminate roles where it is supposedly okay for anyone to do anything (even though society is still biased in certain ways).
    • akzidenzgrotesk, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6personally, if i ever had to be a stay-at-home-wife, i think i would go insane. kids would make it bearable, but i still think i'd rather have to get up and get dressed and go to the office every day than ever be either a kept woman or a soccer mom.
  • gnslngr1919, on 10/12/2007, -3/+16From the article:

    'Turn in your man card'

    Sam Van Hallgren, 32, co-host of the movie-review podcast Filmspotting, had to explain himself not just to his listeners but even to his co-host, Adam Kempenaar. Kempenaar was caught by surprise the first time Van Hallgren introduced himself at the top of their show with his new name. Van Hallgren was formerly Sam Hallgren until he wed Carrie Van Deest in August and they both took on the new, combined names.

    Van Hallgren received a scathing note from a longtime listener with a subject line that read, "Sam, turn in your man card." The listener asked what "sissy juice" the host was drinking.

    The Van Hallgrens, who live in Milwaukee, say they did it for their future children. The idea of merging names, which Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa also did when the former Antonio Villar wed the former Corina Raigosa in 1987, started out for Sam and Carrie as a joke. Then, while talking with a friend who was surprised Carrie would take Sam's name, Sam first uttered the merged version and they both liked it.

    "I feared that people would think I did it to suggest more people should do it," he says. "But I didn't. It just made sense for us."

    Sam the Van makes the big papers. Nice
    • Aokami, on 10/12/2007, -1/+20Because adding Van or Von before any name is awesome... look at Dr. Doom!
    • mutatron, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10This makes no sense. The "Van" isn't the significant part of "Van Deest", the "Deest" is. Van just means "of" or "from".
    • admadan, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Yes, the Van or Von just means 'of' or 'from', but this is what makes the name cool. In the day of old these 3 little letters is what declared a person to be a nobelman. Its roughly the equivalent of Sir in england.
    • drake546, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2except that the title of a knight didn't get passed down automatically. just because your father was a knight didn't mean you would be.
    • gnslngr1919, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Also, since Hallgren is also a place, it does make sense.
  • DrScott, on 10/12/2007, -35/+5Not surprised that this is on the rise. It's probably consistent with the increasing divorce rate in America.
    • HP844182, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7Not that I think there is a direct correlation but I do believe not taking the others name (the woman taking the man's or vise versa) shows that they are trying to keep a certain separation between them rather than becoming one family. Do people just not love each other as much as they used to or is it that people just don't love each other that much...either way I think it's a pretty sad outlook...that people are so dead set on individualism that they won't even share a last name with someone they love.
    • xtmno3, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10People in the United States have been brainwashed into thinking about love in a certain fashion. People seem to want it to be a damned fairy tale where everything is happily ever after once you get married. Because of that, people get married to people they have a zest for, but don't have long-term similarities with. Once they get married and see it is more of the same, they get divorced.

      The divorce rate will go down in the US when people stop hiding their children from reality. If you tell your children that you can love someone, but you have to be willing to constantly work at it and compromise, then those children might look for more of that in a mate.

      Hiding your children from reality does not protect them forever. you may make them happy for the first 15 years of their life, but the last X will be a nightmare by comparison.
  • cooterthekid, on 10/12/2007, -34/+9If my girlfriend told me I have to take her last name....I'd punch her in the face.
    • murraj2, on 10/12/2007, -17/+9What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?


      Nothing, you already told her twice.
    • rnwen2750, on 10/12/2007, -3/+6@ cooter's girlfriend (if she does exist) - RUN.
    • Rikkochet, on 10/12/2007, -4/+11If I told my girlfriend she *had* to do anything she'd probably punch me in the face.
    • cooterthekid, on 10/12/2007, -6/+4OK OK, since no one liked my last comment I changed my mind.

      This is what I'd Do Now:

      "If my girlfriend told me I have to take her last name....I'd tell her kindly to "Go to Hell"."

      Less violent?
  • Aokami, on 10/12/2007, -7/+21My fiance and I are going to combine our last names so we can piss everyone off equally. Plus it will be Gearden, which is hard core. His side is a little miffy about it, but eh.
    • patik, on 10/12/2007, -0/+22I thought the same thing -- why not make a new name entirely, since you're starting a new family?

      My fiancée is taking my name but I have to admit we'll both miss her name, it has a lot of character and mine is just okay.
    • Nozavroni, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8If I combined my last name with my girlfriend, it would be Bootinoni or maybe visiboote... that would be ***** rad.
    • kiwiboyus, on 10/12/2007, -7/+18My wife an did this when we married, it was my idea. She has no brothers to carry on her family name and I have 2 plus cousin's to boot.... also I don't give a toss about tradition. It became a hassle mainly for me because my Passport, Social Security and Greencard didn't reflect my new name and getting all 3 changed was going to be a real pain, plus tax time was a hassle. About a year ago my wife decided she really didn't care about carrying on her family name, her dad's a prick and we have nothing to do with him anyway, plus it's just a name and not what defines who she is so we dropped it. I feel the same way which is why I had no issue combining our names in the first place. As far as I am concerned any "Man" who feels threatened by something like this is just showing how insecure they are, it's just a name boys not your penis.
    • neilschelly, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2That's what my wife and I did and yes, it did piss off some family. I don't regret it, but I wish there was a way to tell those who believe in tradition for the sake of tradition that you're not rejecting them by doing something different. My family felt I was rejecting them.
      -N
    • wyrdness, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2My fiance and I considered combining our names, but the best anagram we could come up with was 'Mooselift'
  • DivisibleByZero, on 10/12/2007, -17/+7Headline could have easily said: "More women taking husbands' dignity"

    Double standards are great: two for the price of one.
  • DeskFlyer, on 10/12/2007, -8/+14The only person who would be justified in taking their wife's last name is this guy:

    http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=579022
  • seandfeeney, on 10/12/2007, -17/+11My girlfriend has suggested this to me because she hates my family but, ***** that this is the only thing a guy has going for them when it comes to marriage!
  • DarkReign16, on 10/12/2007, -12/+12Any opposition to this will ultimately end up as a sexist argument, there is no escape, you must concede or admit your bigotry. That being said, who the ***** still gets married? I mean seriously.
  • simongzster, on 10/12/2007, -11/+18I'm keeping my name, and my fiancee is keeping hers. Yay for individualism!
    • libertao, on 10/12/2007, -7/+34Real individuals don't get married ;-)
    • neuroticus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2I love the idea of keeping your own name after getting married. The next question is, what about the children? I like the Hispanic tradition of having a paternal and maternal last name (no hyphens). Although, I would rather see the child choose the last of of the parent s/he most resembles... although at this point I'm not sure how that would be possible? If I had children, they would have both last names and (of course) have the opportunity to drop one when they are older.
    • Areku, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2@neuroticus

      That's what a friend of mine is doing with her son. Neither she nor her husband took the other's name (Cunningham vs. Wagener) and her son's last name is hyphenated. When he gets older, he'll be allowed to choose which one he wants to keep, since apparently it's easier to drop part of a hyphenated surname than change it to another name completely.
  • catfud, on 10/12/2007, -21/+6Men who take their wives last names are closet fags
  • chromevinyl, on 10/12/2007, -2/+14ugh, just do it whichever way you want.
  • joel2600, on 10/12/2007, -16/+6Hmm, my last name sucks... so would it be worth it to trade my manhood in for a cool last name.

    Nope, can't do it. ...
    • patik, on 10/12/2007, -4/+14Your last name != your manlihood. In fact, if you're worried about being a pussy then I'll call you a pussy for not doing something you really want to do (changing your name).
    • mikepictor, on 10/12/2007, -5/+7I regret to tell you, your manhood is already too fragile to survive if it worries you.
    • amoirae, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1If your "manhood" is tied to your last name, it really isn't much to speak of.
  • aldomatic, on 10/12/2007, -7/+8Well my buddy got married not to long ago, and in order for them to decide on what name to go with they flipped a coin!!! not sure why but he ended up taking her name.
    • Xeniteone, on 10/12/2007, -0/+28I would imagine it's because she picked heads, and it landed on heads. Or something like that. To hear the other possibility, substitute the word heads for tails.
    • dougbell, on 10/12/2007, -15/+7Does she get to carry his balls around in her purse as well?
    • amoirae, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3dougbell is just envious of any man who a woman actually touches without a pimp handling the transaction.
  • sally00, on 10/12/2007, -17/+6Oh please. Being a girl, I should be happy.
    But that's just the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

    Stick with tradition, DAMN. Stop trying to be sooo different and unique.

    Just take the damn last name of the MALE.
    • sally00, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2Well.... looks like there are a lot of freakin' pussies out there according to the digg downs.

      What is the world coming to.....
  • h00paj00, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9What's so great about the chick's last name? If it was an "equal partnership" then they should both change their last name to something different.

    Mr and Mrs Max and Min Powers
    • hyaena, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1agreed, I nominate Mr. and Mrs. Voltron
  • Scorpion1169, on 10/12/2007, -1/+9So does anyone know which states *do* allow it?
    • ajent420, on 10/12/2007, -6/+8I know Washington and Wisconsin allow it...that's where I live and took my wifes name
    • psxman, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5You live in Washington *and* Wisconsin? How's that work?
    • VaporBro, on 10/26/2007, -0/+9complicated underground system of tubes
  • BobMysterioso, on 10/12/2007, -1/+21I'm late to the party, so no one will read this. Wish I'd get to these parties earlier -- in any case.

    My wife kept her last name. Its been a non issue really - except her grandmother is pretty certain our future children will be known as bastards. If they are my kids, that'll probably be pretty obvious anyway -- but still its not nice for granny to say.

    Granny is rich, we are nice, despite her view on things.
    • MrDave2176, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2No children will result from our union - ever. But my wife kept her last name. She had done the same with her previous husband.

      My brother's wife on the other hand changed her name from her previous married name. So she has a maiden name that is unlike her oldest two children's names which is different from her youngest three children's names. And this is better how?

      My feeling is get over it. In the long run, "Naming" is an ownership issue. Naming your wife, naming your children, and naming your house are all ways of exerting ownership over them. I don't OWN my wife, but I DO want to keep her with me. If that is as a partner rather than a possession, then that is what I do. Any man that feels he can bully his woman into taking his name if she doesn't want it isn't going to have a healthy relationship with her anyways. And ladies, you don't need him that bad.

      We talked about it, I considered it, and it's been tricky sometimes to convince people that YES we are married, and NO we don't have the same last name, but ultimately I know who my wife is and she knows her her husband is, and all the people that matter (governments, churches, and family) are aware of the situation and nobody has any way to make it otherwise...nor do they want to. How is this different than if you had a wife from a foreign country who didn't become a naturalized citizen (as my wife won't)? Or how is this different than if you have a wife of a different color than you? It is what it is - different. It isn't agasint the law of man or nature. How we adjust to change is a mark of our sophistication and intelligence and how we resist change is a mark of our ignorance and predjudice.
    • punx, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0I read your comment. Good idea to be nice to the rich old granny. But if she is that nasty, what makes you think she won't leave it all to her cat?
  • xenuxenuts, on 10/12/2007, -3/+9If you're going to do that, how about do something interesting, like combine the names to make a new name, like:
    Washington+Jefferson=Washingson or Jefferton
    White+Black=Whack or Blite
    Murphy+Harder=Hardy or Murder
  • dougbell, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6@ vniow

    Today It's so the males family name can live on.
  • redrighthand, on 10/12/2007, -5/+6I tried to get my wife to go along with this idea but she thought I was nuts and just stuck with the traditional route.
    • crimsonalucard, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2She didn't want other people to think she was domineering and that you were her bitch.
  • civperc, on 10/12/2007, -7/+5Um yeah, no thanks.
  • TheKorn2, on 10/12/2007, -15/+8Two words:

    WHIPPED BITCH.
    • amoirae, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1Isn't that a new non dairy dessert topping for sexist neanderthal pigs?

      Whipped Bitch: "You may never get pussy but here's an approximation of what it tastes like."
  • timmybadshoes, on 10/12/2007, -5/+5Always believed the point of a wife taking the last name was so it would pass on to the children. Usually men wish to leave behind some sort of legacy....gender roles aren't that bad.
  • Corinthos, on 10/12/2007, -3/+16My last name sucks. I don't like it, hard to pronounce it. Actually I don't know how it said correctly, depends on who you ask in my family. I was thinking of just legally changing my name for the hell of it. I'd see no problem taking my wife's last name.
  • InstantABS, on 10/12/2007, -6/+6It is a sign of respect to the woman. If women normally take the names of their husbands, why the opposite still sounds strange? It is simply not very popular practice yet.
  • LivingTribunal, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4I'd take after my wifes name if it was something cooler than mine, like Powers or Steel =P
  • Xeniteone, on 10/12/2007, -4/+16I hate that the two sides of this argument are, 'good idea', or 'Me Kronk, Me drag wife by hair, Me big strong man, Other choice for man not strong as Kronk!' That's a delicate argument, boys, but still not reaching the point. The decision is going to be made by whomever is really involved in the marriage. I think it just levels the playing field for guys who are in the middle to know there's people out there doing the same things. And whether or not they truly believe it (I don't doubt your sincerity, above posters) the guys who said, 'wow, not a bad idea', or at least not 'pick up your testicles' or something to that effect, I would love to hang out with outside of Digg.
  • mattsidesinger, on 10/12/2007, -2/+24Marge: You changed your name without consulting me?

    Homer: That's the way Max Power is, Marge. Decisive. Uncompromising! And rude!

    Abe: Oh, wait a minute. The family name is my legacy to you. I got it from my father, and he got it from his father, and he traded a mule for it! And that mule went on to save Spring Break!
    • mt066, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5"Max Power doesn't cuddle! You strap yourself in and feel the G's!!"
      (thrusting hips at the "feel the G's" part)
  • kolobcreek, on 10/12/2007, -10/+6BITCHES!!!!
  • DarkReign16, on 10/12/2007, -13/+4***** tradition and don't even get married, hello people, DUH, marriage is for prude fools who have no game.

    • Druidictus, on 10/12/2007, -6/+4Having a family is important though for your heritage. Men have children, Boy's Shoot Blanks.
    • captjc, on 10/12/2007, -8/+2Like Tom Leykis says - Pump 'em and Dump 'em. Got to hit it and quit!
    • catfud, on 10/12/2007, -4/+2Lykis is a closet fag
    • deadordying, on 10/12/2007, -3/+3Does your "game" involve spending hours daily on Digg?
  • Druidictus, on 10/12/2007, -13/+8Is this another attack on Western culture?
    • DarkReign16, on 10/12/2007, -9/+4Oh what the ***** ever druidictus, you traditionalist prude *****.
  • EtherGnat, on 10/12/2007, -3/+20There's no reason a woman should feel compelled to take her husband's name after marriage. A man taking his wife's last name is no better, and hyphenated last names are too cumbersome. I always thought it would be cool for new couples to choose a completely new last name for themselves. A symbol of a new beginning and a way to say something about themselves.

    It's a bit cheesy but a couple by the names of Kathy Jo Webster and Jim Rodewald with a shared love of muscle cars decided to combine their last names into Rodester. Last names used to have meanings that told what your profession was or where you were from. I see no reason why they can't have meaning again.
    • Nozavroni, on 10/12/2007, -3/+0Then we'd end up with a million people named Walter Bigweener and John Kitteneater.

      Personally, I'd go with Luke Peeclown
    • wyrdness, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2"Last names used to have meanings that told what your profession was or where you were from."

      In that case, I think that I'll change my name to Mr Software-Engineer
  • m00dy, on 10/12/2007, -12/+7God dammit, where did the real men go?
  • z4nd3r, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5Isnt this somewhat self defeating?I mean its not as if she got her last name from the maternal side??
  • UBomb, on 10/12/2007, -5/+4The horror...
  • BrewBeau, on 10/12/2007, -8/+9Men changing their names to the women's?! I bet those guys don't even BEAT their wives when they disagree or speak out of turn. I bet they don't even mutilate their genitals to keep infidelity at bay. I can't even imagine such a world. I bet they aren't even insecure about their perceived masculinity!
  • lurchy, on 10/12/2007, -9/+7He should sue to get his balls back from hsi wife.
  • galore, on 10/12/2007, -4/+3I think that names should be merged. To be fair.

    Buday + Bijon:

    So here it would be either:
    Bujon
    or
    Biday

    I'd choose Bujon for obvious reasons.
  • westvol, on 10/12/2007, -7/+15A man's dignity is dependent not on his name.
  • aduzik, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7Here's a good one: my friends Leah and Andy got married last year, and Andy took Leah's last name. It's not because they're "good ole granola liberals" -- although they do have their moments, bless 'em -- but because Leah's dad is the last guy in their family with that name. Leah has no brothers or male cousins on her dad's side. That way their children will carry on the family name.
    • mikepictor, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3There are times I wished I had taken my wife's last name for the same reason. She and her sister are the only children of their parents, and her father the only male sibling from his line. Her parent's last name will die with them.

      Of course, we aren't sure we are having children, but if we do, I suspect I would try and incorproate that name, as a middle name or something.
  • jdent08, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2I think that there is a legacy behind our last names, and one that shouldn't be denied. I know every family has their black sheep that give their last names a bad rep, but there's still an important history there and tells a little of who we are as a people. I think creating new last names or combinning them is simply a tragedy.


    On another note, I know many women that are looking forwrd to changing their last names when they get married.
    • mikepictor, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2you raise a good point, but not one that suggests men can't change to match their wife, they would just be keeping the legacy of that name.
  • Ndric, on 10/12/2007, -11/+8What's the chances of these people being liberal atheists?
    • captjc, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8As a liberal member of the Church of the SubGenius, I take offense to that statement.
    • 32bitwonder, on 10/12/2007, -4/+8If they are, that could only be a good thing.
  • luvlyssa, on 10/12/2007, -5/+9It's tradition to take the guys name right?

    But isn't it also "tradition" for the woman to be home cooking, cleaning, barefoot and knocked up? So then why do us women work? If we're following "traditions" then we should all be at home spewing out kids and cooking.

    Oh what? In today's economy that CAN'T be done in most circumstances. Damn the world for changing and getting rid of our traditions.

    I don't think hyphenating or taking her name makes him more or less of a man. In today's world there are a lot of women who have careers and shouldn't change names because of that.

    (lol unless of course now that she has a MAN she can quit her lovely job and stay home knocked up!)

    And yes... I'm female.
    • mutatron, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5My ex took my last name because she thought it sounded better with her first name. After we divorced she kept it for the same reason, but also because she had established herself as a composer while we were married, and didn't want to lose the name recognition. Probably also because she didn't want to have a different last name from our child.
    • RevHelix, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9This is what I see funny here:

      1) Some here are stating that its an attack on western culture, when its really a European thing.
      2) Native men have / used to take the name of their wife.

      Sadly yes, women taking the names of their husbands was a signature of property, bought and sold with dowries.

      Now SUPPOSEDLY we are more enlightened, and at the end of the day why should it matter.

      OH WAIT!! I am supposed to watch for the GAYS!! I must make sure nothing is gay around me... yadda yadda.. sounds like men are looking for only manly action. That's Gay =P

      Now for my personal stance:
      1) For me to take her name it would have to be an awesome name like MegaMonsterRoboKillAllHumans for me to consider
      2) I'll keep mine, and she can keep hers.
      3) And if she wants to take mine on, that is fine also.

    • prockcore, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Seriously. Treating your wife as property couldn't get more eastern.
  • mjh2901, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7My wife was actually excited about taking my last name and dumping hers which was a more common generic last name. My sister however has the oposite problem after marying someone with a very common last name. From an IT stand point. Its much better for us when people get married and change nothing.
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