What is Digg?218 Comments
- drummerbrother, on 10/10/2007, -2/+429Churchill was brilliant. There's a couple of great ones of his that don't appear here. Such as...
Lady Astor to Churchill: "Sir, if you were my husband I would poison your drink".
Churchill in reply: "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it".
And in reply to a woman telling him that he is very drunk... "I may be drunk Miss, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly". - whatthefu, on 10/10/2007, -5/+207"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
Winston Churchill, in response
Hahaha. - postitnote, on 10/10/2007, -17/+218"Trebek, what's the difference between you can a mallard with a cold?"
"I don't know"
"Well one's a sick duck and I forgot the rest, but your mother's a WHORE!" - fasda, on 10/10/2007, -9/+141your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
- Vodka23, on 10/10/2007, -16/+124I blame rap. (no sarcasm)
- schnitzi, on 10/10/2007, -0/+93And let us not forget this classic:
Earl of Sandwich: “Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox.”
John Wilkes: “That will depend, my lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.” - mlwarrior, on 10/10/2007, -0/+81There is no provable point about how insults have gotten worse over time. You are comparing historical quotes from famous people to slang of current idiots. Trust me, there were plenty of idiots then, too. I'm sure.
Those were good quotes, though. - tinfins, on 10/10/2007, -4/+84Digg users don't like references they don't get. It makes them feel stupid.
- kickisaacout, on 10/10/2007, -13/+75The jerk store called, they're running out of YOU!
- addiggt, on 07/06/2009, -4/+61That's pure genius, thanks for adding that one.
- LegOfLamb, on 10/10/2007, -1/+56"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
Forrest Tucker
That has to be the harshest one - tito13kfm, on 10/10/2007, -3/+56Oh yeah? ...Well I had sex with your wife!
- edverb, on 10/28/2007, -1/+50Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course...
Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
Churchill: Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price. - schnitzi, on 10/10/2007, -1/+48Some of Dorothy Parker's:
-- If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
-- This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
-- She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. (on Katherine Hepburn)
-- The professor starts right off with "No matter what may one's nationality, sex, age, philosophy, or religion, everyone wishes either to become or to remain happy." Well, there's no arguing that one. The author has us there. There is the place for getting out the pencil, underscoring the lines, and setting "how true", followed by several carefully executed exclamation points, in the margin. It is regrettable that the book did not come out during the season when white violets were in bloom, for there is the very spot to press one. - D3koy, on 10/10/2007, -3/+47Some of us continue to insult people with class....it just makes the insult hurt that much more when their best comeback is something along the lines of "Hey, ***** you man..."
- Protean1, on 10/10/2007, -0/+43Now there sits a man with an open mind. You can feel the draft from here.
Groucho Marx - mace2, on 10/10/2007, -1/+40It's really not...
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+39"He had delusions of adequacy."
:-) I know LOTS of people like that. - bluebirdgm, on 10/10/2007, -1/+38"Thy mama is so fat, she took a swim in the ocean and a Spaniard climbed atop her and claimed her for King Ferdinand."
- diggdowner, on 10/10/2007, -1/+36His wife is in a coma.
- blackjack75, on 10/10/2007, -2/+37Except that in real life most people will laugh at the guy who said "***** you" and will look at you wondering "huh? what did he say?".
- DeskFlyer, on 10/10/2007, -9/+42"Your virginity, your old virginity is like one of our French wither'd pears: it looks ill, it eats drily."
- Asianwaste, on 10/10/2007, -0/+33"I never forget a face, your's I'll make an exception." --George Burns
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+31Speaking of lame insults... who the ***** actually yells out "pwnt" in public?
- Lingur, on 10/10/2007, -3/+33<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall
http://bash.org/?329292 - z3rgRush, on 10/10/2007, -3/+32They should teach the art of tasteful insults in schools, kids would learn it's much more satisfying to beat someone with wit than with LOL I F'ED UR MOTHER LOL.
- willcoll, on 10/10/2007, -3/+31anyone else read the quoted name in the title as "samuel jackson"
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -4/+31Lucile Bluth :Micheal you are a so ungrateful
Micheal Bluth :I think you have to receive something to be ungrateful in the first place. - Matt23, on 10/10/2007, -1/+26Roger Ebert had co-opted that second quote very well a few years ago:
Roger Ebert called the "The Brown Bunny" "the worst in the history of Cannes" to which Vincent Gallo responded that Ebert was a "fat pig with the physique of a slave trader." Ebert paraphrased a remark of Winston Churchill's and responded that "although I am fat, one day I will be thin, but Mr. Gallo will still have been the director of 'Brown Bunny'." Gallo then put a "hex" on Ebert's colon, to which Ebert responded that "even my colonoscopy was more entertaining than his film." - JCSaint, on 10/10/2007, -1/+25Did they make a movie out of it?.... with a car chase?
- sabach, on 10/10/2007, -1/+24She never complains of having a headache
- michaelinnotts, on 10/10/2007, -4/+26It's not class; it's wit and intelligence.
- darthmoonman, on 10/10/2007, -3/+24I fart in your general direction, english Ka-nigg-ets
- d3lta, on 10/10/2007, -1/+20I am rubber you are glue
- JCSaint, on 10/10/2007, -2/+21I wonder if you understand the irony of the comment "Lame" in response to a post with the title of "When Insults Had Class?"
- echoforever, on 10/10/2007, -1/+19"Tufnell! Can I borrow your brain? I'm building an idiot."
An Aussie fan to Phil Tufnell (English Cricketer) - CeeJayDK, on 10/10/2007, -17/+35You fight like a dairy farmer.
- How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
The Monkey Island games had the best insults.
Here they are (except the boss insults) :
Swordfighting insults from The Secret of Monkey Island :
This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!
- And I´ve got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?
Soon you´ll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!
- First you better stop waiving it like a feather-duster.
My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!
- So you got that job as janitor, after all.
People fall at my feet when they see me coming.
- Even BEFORE they smell your breath?
I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.
- He must have taught you everything you know.
You make me want to puke.
- You make me think somebody already did.
Nobody´s ever drawn blood from me and no body ever will.
- You run THAT fast?
You fight like a dairy farmer.
- How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!
- I hope now you´ve learned to stop picking your nose.
Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?
- Why, did you want to borrow one?
I´ve heard you were a contemptible sneak.
- Too bad no one´s ever heard of YOU at all.
You´re no match for my brains, you poor fool.
- I´d be in real trouble if you ever used them.
You have the manners of a begger.
- I wanted to make sure you´d feel comfortable with me.
I´m not going to take your insolence sitting down!
- Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?
There are no words for how disgusting you are.
- Yes there are. You just never learned them.
I´ve spoken with apes more polite then you.
- I´m glad to hear you attended your family reunion.
Swordfighting insults from The Curse of Monkey Island :
Every enemy I've met I've annihilated!
- With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
- I look THAT much like your fiancée?
Would you like to be buried or cremated?
- With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.
Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died!
- The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
I'll skewer you, like a sow at a buffet.
- When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!
Killing you would be justifiable homicide.
- Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.
En garde! Touché!
- Oh, that is so cliché!
Throughout the Caribbean my great deeds are celebrated!
- Too bad they're all fabricated.
When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified.
- At least mine can be identified.
You can't match my witty repartee.
- I could, if you would use some breath spray.
I can't rest until you've been exterminated!
- Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.
You're the ugliest monster ever created.
- If you don't count all the ones you've dated.
I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated.
- Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!
Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified.
- Is that your face? I thought it was your backside!
I'll hound you night and day!
- Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!
Armwrestling insults from Escape from Monkey Island :
Today, by myself, twelve people I've beaten.
- From the size of your gut I'd guess they were eaten.
I've got muscles in places you've never even heard of.
- It's too bad none of them are in your arms.
Give up now, or I'll crush you like a grape!
- I would if it would stop your WINE-ING.
My 98-year-old grandmother has bigger arms than you do!
- Yeah, but we both got better bladder control than you do.
I'm going to put your arm in a sling!
- Why, ya studying to be a nurse?
My stupefying strength will shatter your ulna into a million pieces!
- I'm surprised you can count that high!
Hey, look over there!
- Yeah, yeah I know: it's a three-headed monkey.
Your knuckles I'll grind to a splintery paste.
- I thought that the been dip had a strange taste.
Your arms are no bigger than fleas that I've met!
- So THAT'S why you're scratching. I'd go see a vet.
People consider my fists lethal weapons!
- Sadly, your breath should be equally reckoned.
Only once have I met such a coward!
- He must have taught you everything you know.
You're the ugliest creature I've ever seen in my life.
- I'm shocked that you've never gazed at your wife.
My forearms have been mistaken for tree trunks!
- An over-the-counter defoliant could help with that problem.
I've out-wrestled octopi with these arms!
- I'm sure that spineless creatures everywhere are humbled by your might.
Do I see quivers of agony dance on your lip?
- It's laughter that's caused by your feathery grip. - JCSaint, on 10/10/2007, -1/+18Um, it's not as if all rock music is full of mind blowing lyrics. I blame most anything on the radio in the last 10 years. And TV.
- gwhardyiv, on 10/10/2007, -0/+16Thanks for adding some Dorothy Parker in here. She spent a great deal of time mastering the art of insults. One of my favorites...
Converging at a doorway with her editor and famous rival Clare Brokaw, Clare stepped aside, held her arm out to the door, saying "Age before beauty." Parker, not missing a beat, walked straight through the door, "And pearls before swine." - MillionsLivio, on 10/10/2007, -5/+21While I concur, that is but one peice to the puzzle of what has raped our culture into the utterly sickening it is in now.
- someguyouknow, on 10/10/2007, -2/+17http://reluctantnomad.blogspot.com/2006/09/insults-they-just-dont-make-them-as.html
Saw those here on digg a long while ago. There are some additional ones at the bottom. - ramiro, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13"The difference between you and a can of feces is the tin."
- wildfire, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13"Not my virginity yet."
Said the Digg users... - whoslacks, on 10/28/2007, -1/+13There are only two types of people I cannot stand. People who are intolerant of other peoples culture... and the Dutch.
- ToadLeg, on 10/10/2007, -1/+12If you think looks are most important. I thought that was one of the least effective. I thought the last one, "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." was the funniest. It's short, direct, ironic, almost sounds like a compliment, and insults someone's taste.
- DeskFlyer, on 10/10/2007, -3/+14C'mon people, you've never read Shakespeare? For shame!
- imomushi8, on 10/10/2007, -1/+12dork.
- smackywentz, on 10/10/2007, -1/+12"It seems in a world wrought with exhaustible resources, irony and stupidity are immune."
It's nothing against you, but you entered the classy insult-off on your own accord and thereby shall suffer the consequences. - JCSaint, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11Churchill was a bit nutty but in a good way. "But Roosevelt and Churchill were men long before they were monuments. FDR once came upon Churchill in the White House as the Englishman, fresh from his bath, was pacing around naked—”completely starkers,” recalled an aide. Roosevelt apologized and began to retreat. Stopping him, Churchill said, “You see, Mr. President, I have nothing to hide from you.”'
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3158221/site/newsweek/ - Snorglorf, on 10/10/2007, -3/+14I blame ignorance. It runs rampant in these parts, often being heartily encouraged by the majority of the Digg population.
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