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371 Comments
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -6/+202"Pick up children without bending" in readiness to throw child at cat.
"If attacked fight back" I'm not going to lie there and take a beating like a pussy! - cindylauper, on 10/10/2007, -7/+160I prefer the indoors, more porn...less large man eating beasts
- diggface5000, on 10/10/2007, -3/+154Squirt it with water. That works on house cats also and rosie odonnel
- ramong, on 10/10/2007, -4/+116I guess "run like a scared bitch" is NOT an option.
- MasterThief117, on 10/10/2007, -7/+113You must shout:
"JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!" - MrFisty, on 10/10/2007, -0/+94Why'd you kick it? Everyone knows the best way to get rid of coyotes is a combination of TNT, a trampoline and a cliff edge.
- picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -1/+84If you've ever encountered one of these it's some scary *****. I was on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere late at night and came across one that was up in a tree and it followed me for about 100 yards of terrifying *****-in-the-pants fun.
- whiteninja, on 10/10/2007, -5/+87Don't walk on trails that are labeled "Mountain Lion Habitat"
- derek20cali, on 10/10/2007, -2/+75You've never met my ex-girlfriend
- smurfsahoy, on 10/10/2007, -4/+67Mountain lions are only like 100 pounds or so usually, people. When people fight back, they actually win most of the time.
Scary, yes. But these are very useful and serious instructions. - dawgma, on 10/10/2007, -2/+52http://i1.tinypic.com/4uavltx.jpg
- rawrzzz, on 10/10/2007, -1/+45The stickman is using the child as a shield. Genius!
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -17/+60Be Large, Shout or I guess just shoot it. A snub nosed .357 makes a great fix for a mountain lion that decides to wander to far up the food chain.
- polarbear66, on 10/10/2007, -1/+43i live in northern california, and we've had mountain lions in the area for as long as i can remember. Being large, shouting, fighting back? All good things. Not only are they what you're supposed to do - they work - it's not as "silly" as some might think...
- V1ncent, on 10/10/2007, -6/+47If you encounter a mountain lion:
1. Face mountain lion. This is so you can back away slowly, otherwise you might walk into lion; which is stupid and ill-advised.
2. Think erotic thoughts so you get big. Shout "Damn I'm big. Look lion at how freaking big I am. (if a woman you're sh-t out of luck unless you're experiencing bloat)
3. Keep children close. Mountain lions hate children. So does everyone else. They're whiny, cry too easy about everything and scream all shrill and chalkboardy-like.
(Oh and when you pick up children, don't bend them or they're cry all shrill and chalkboardy-like)
4. If attacked by children fight back, you can take them! If attacked by a mountain lion, cry like a child - they hate that and will run away. - Digitel, on 10/10/2007, -0/+37Remember you don't have to out run the mountain lion, just the people you are with
=) - TeamoSupremo, on 10/10/2007, -11/+45Bend over and kiss your ass good bye
- MasterThief117, on 10/10/2007, -2/+36Shouldn't be too hard for most Americans.
- Splitt3rxx, on 10/10/2007, -3/+36beats getting killed by a wild animal
- nymphetamine, on 10/10/2007, -0/+28Stay indoors and never leave. The internet is your friend.
- Diggresser, on 10/10/2007, -0/+27What I do when confronted by Mountain Lions is I push my head into my shoulders causing my neck to disappear and two chins to present themselves. This is absolutely confusing for the jugular-vein approach of the typical mountain lion. It is also recommended to carry a fake neck in your backpack. As the lion approaches and surveys the chins, toss the fake neck at it and scream "Here's your bloody neck" in an english or australian accent.
- cbabraham, on 10/10/2007, -1/+27This is exactly what you do.....so laugh all you want until you encounter a Mountain Lion, then you might consider being large and shouting.
- da_bradler, on 10/10/2007, -1/+27That only works if your actually with Jesus Christ... who as we all know is an excellent lion fighter
- Daddaluma, on 10/10/2007, -3/+28If you had said "from" instead of "like" you would've had my digg.
- dannyboy3020, on 10/10/2007, -2/+27Alright, Ted Nugent.
- ClaudiuUSA, on 10/10/2007, -7/+31Dude, cats don't have that good reaction times.
The neighbor's cat can't even dodge kicks or large rocks. - dsimp, on 10/10/2007, -2/+26The directions on the warning sign are correct. Those are the things you're supposed to do when confronted/attacked by a mountain lion. How does stuff like this get dugg?
- Moriya, on 10/10/2007, -4/+26"There ain't nothin' more goddamn frightening than driving with a live cougar in the car."
- shaelen, on 10/10/2007, -0/+22But what if I forgot to bring my donkey on the walk with me, that day?
- gbro, on 10/10/2007, -3/+22Diggers can just use their shovels.
- mtrip, on 10/10/2007, -1/+20I came across some wild boars once in the woods, and yeah, you really have no idea how scary it is to see a wild animal in real life, with no cage, no handler, just you and it in the middle of nowhere.
- shaelen, on 10/10/2007, -2/+20Why should it be only an American response? Anybody could be carrying a gun, not just an American. Also, what's so wrong with defending one's self with a gun? You don't have to shoot the the mountain lion, I'm sure one shot by its side will send it running. But if not, at least you'll be the one walking away. Heck a mountain lion has sharper teeth and claws than I do, so that gives it the advantage. Nature has given me a bigger advantage, "opposable thumbs."
- tizz66, on 10/10/2007, -0/+18WHY are YOU typing like THIS? It makes my INNER VOICE go up and DOWN in VOLUME.
- Poco, on 10/10/2007, -0/+17"If you fail in convincing him that you are not food, just relax, and speak to him, lovingly, as he approaches you and eats you. "
lmao - BlkGuyAtThePrty, on 10/10/2007, -3/+20you my friend, you win the thread.
- Woolmonkey, on 10/10/2007, -1/+17You are right they might only be 100 pounds, but they are also stronger then use ***** a 6 month old orangutan is about as strong as a grown human. We might be the top of the food chain but it isn't because of our muscles.
- aten, on 10/10/2007, -1/+17This is easier to read...
http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=1352974594&size=o - kmcknight, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16so you hike with a rock in your hand just in case you run into a mountain lion? why don't you just put in your fanny pack?
- kindrobot, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15Coyotes used to stalk me when I walked home from work early in the morning. Scary. I'd switch sides of the 4 lane road and they would cross the divider after me. They usually traveled in groups, which freaked me out so much I finally started carrying mace. But they never got close enough to attack. Beautiful animals.
- MrNastyOne, on 10/10/2007, -2/+17LEAVE MOUNTAIN LION ALOOOOOOONE!
- bscene, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16mee meep!
- TCFrancis, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16No, you have to lead them off a cliff. Be sure to make them realize there is no ground under them, they won't fall until they do.
- Wrog, on 10/10/2007, -4/+18I'd actually like to see you shove your fist down it's throat.
'In and out and in it goes, will it get bit off? Nobody knows!' - Ajajadude, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15I hope we learned a lesson from that.
- Gir53457, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15I was attacked by a coyote in the streets once, it bit my leg and then I kicked it's face. Good thing I didn't get rabies.
- Gir53457, on 10/10/2007, -3/+16No, our area has air conditioning.
- saifatlast, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13People who've never been outside marvel at the fact that there's stuff alive out there.
- andrewcsayer, on 10/10/2007, -7/+19Say "Here kitty, kitty, kitty"
- pault107, on 10/10/2007, -0/+12"It's something like the noise you might expect if a large female opera singer had her abdomen slit open and guts removed by winding them around a red-hot poker."
Wow, that's quite some imagination you have there. - Ninjapope, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11Now lets all join hands and do some swaying, people.
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