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Vend Me Over: Bizarre Vending Machines

divinecaroline.com — For most Americans, vending machines are a convenient way to get their afternoon soda fix or to cure the munchies with a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos. In other countries, vending machines are host to the bizarre, the wacky, and sometimes, the perverted. We’ve come a long way from soda.

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  • stignordas, on 05/06/2008, -2/+32The Japanese lobster catcher seems especially twisted, poor little invertebrate tasty friends!
    • mediaspree, on 05/06/2008, -0/+13I saw this in a Florida restraunt. Basically you pay a buck for the gamble of trying to catch the lobster. If you get it, you get the lobster dinner for a buck. If you don't, and noone does, they get to keep your buck and pinchey lives on another day.
    • bryanwheatley, on 05/06/2008, -2/+0There is a lobster claw machine in a Hollywood bar named 'Happy Ending'. I played it with no success. Here's a link: http://www.thehappyendingbar.com/
    • TheUngod, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1I've seen these in New Hampshire or Maine (I forget which). It was 6$ to play. I figure if you're going to drop a live lobster in a pot of boiling water, what's picking it up with a claw first?
    • wanderingsun, on 05/06/2008, -0/+4We have several of these on the Gulf coast of Alabama/Florida Panhandle. They're about 5 bucks and are located in restaurants and bars - who will cook them for you if you catch one.

      The little bastards are hard to get, though. They snap their back and will pop out of the claw. The trick is to grab him by the head and upper body.
  • Bajayjay, on 05/06/2008, -3/+11The Kosher vending machine is pretty random. I wonder if there's a Halal counterpart?
    • TheUngod, on 05/06/2008, -5/+14Kosher vending machines are a horrible idea. Yes, Jews always have change, but it's not like they're going to spend it!
    • robbiemuffin, on 05/06/2008, -3/+4why does the kosher one say "24/6"? God won't let the vending machine work on Saturdays?
      • coyote1284, on 05/06/2008, -0/+7Yes, robbie, that's the gag. It's Jewish, so it doesn't work on the Sabbath.
    • coyote1284, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1Just don't put the 2 machines next to eachother.
  • 1aaaa, on 05/06/2008, -2/+51The pot vending machine seems a natural companion to a doritos vending machine.
    • Scottievm, on 05/06/2008, -1/+17They should kill two birds with one stone, and just sell the Doritos and weed in the same machine.
      • BearFace, on 05/06/2008, -1/+16could get 2 birds stoned at once?
        • coyote1284, on 05/06/2008, -5/+1hehe, stone 2 birds with one "kill"
  • Enochulator, on 05/06/2008, -0/+12Do I want to know how they got so many soiled underwears?
  • WoogieHauser, on 05/06/2008, -1/+39Dugg for anal beads. I find myself saying this at least 2x/day now.
    • Alphateam, on 05/06/2008, -0/+48If you have to dig for anal beads, you are doing it wrong.
  • homedaddy, on 05/06/2008, -1/+17how do you grab a live lobster? seriously, I can't even catch a stupid plush toy, the lobster just seems impossible.
  • Rotzooi, on 05/06/2008, -16/+5This is exactly the kind of stuff BARACK OBAMA loves. Dugg.
    • carterbaldwin, on 05/06/2008, -0/+17Lobsters and ***** rings?
      • SenorCardgage74, on 05/06/2008, -0/+12Thats a platform we can ALL get behind.
        He's got my vote.
    • MattB123, on 05/06/2008, -0/+7Well who doesn't? Only an elitist wouldn't like these things!
    • coyote1284, on 05/06/2008, -1/+1You fail at Trolling, become an hero.
  • saxreturns, on 05/06/2008, -0/+78Hahah, I like the fact that the Kosher vending machine says 24/6 on it.
    • MilitantRabbit, on 05/06/2008, -0/+10You should see the disclaimer
      "Enjoy a hot nosh all day, every day!*

      *If you use this machine on the Sabbath, you're not kosher and you're going to hell."
    • soupnrc, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1Yea dude, I caught that too! Pretty genius.
  • keitarofujiwara, on 05/06/2008, -0/+9Soiled underwear? Soiled?! Some things are just way beyond me.
  • DiggieDarko, on 05/06/2008, -1/+20Soiled is such a strong word.
    • absurdist, on 05/06/2008, -0/+12Indeed. I prefer the term "delicately scented."

      Wait, did I just say that out loud? ;)
    • KingGorilla, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1I've soiled my plants
  • Nomadelle, on 05/06/2008, -3/+2From buying chips from a vending machine to buying lube and sex toys! Love it!
  • gonegoogling, on 05/06/2008, -1/+75and as a bonus, if you use your debit card to buy the panties it automatically registers you as a sex offender.
  • LZeppelinJ0, on 05/06/2008, -1/+7Hm, do they just have a workshop full of pre-pubescent school girls who get paid to soil their underwear all day? Very strange mental image...
    • MattB123, on 05/06/2008, -0/+10Better after school job than a paper route?
    • Zemenar, on 05/06/2008, -1/+9That's kinda creepy.. I was wondering the exact same thing. Maybe they pay school girls for their used underwear? I'm really curious now.. and I can't think of a way for that not to make me sound creepy.
      • coyote1284, on 05/06/2008, -0/+5Yes, there are shops that young women can sell their "gently used" intimate apparel to for quick cash. BTW, the picture on the package probably isn't the girl it came from.
    • carbon916, on 05/06/2008, -1/+2Maybe they're not really from pre-pubescent school girls. *shudders*
  • skags, on 05/06/2008, -1/+57"I wanna make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real ***** big!"
    - Mitch Hedberg
  • Fietek, on 05/06/2008, -0/+7Lets hope no kid gets caught in that claw machine
  • theprogram4, on 05/06/2008, -0/+2Dugg for a live lobster claw machine.
  • removesstains, on 05/06/2008, -0/+31Man i wish i was 1 of those girls. They get to wear brand new underwear every day.
    • Zemenar, on 05/06/2008, -0/+26I couldn't help but smile at that comment coming from someone named "Removesstains"..
    • GaijinTenshi, on 05/06/2008, -0/+13Your statement truly defines your name. Kudos.
    • MysticMist, on 05/07/2008, -0/+0By any chance, do you live in Tokyo? If so, have you ever "removed stains"?
  • iamgreg007, on 05/06/2008, -3/+4How exactly does the 24/7 weed vending machine determine if your perscription is legit? Is there some kind of bar code system? If so, can someone give me the address of the machine and point me to a web site where i can download and print a bar code? Then all I need is a plane ticket to San Fran!
    • dorkino, on 05/06/2008, -0/+10A better question is how do those things sit there without getting broken into constantly
      • Aensland, on 05/06/2008, -0/+4It's got a little turret with a camera and an autocannon.
      • dorkino, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1Vending machine tower defense!
    • Funkly, on 05/06/2008, -0/+6you go to the club during the day and register with your prescription from your Dr. The you get an access card, which like an ATM room you use your card to get in, and then you can access the vending machine the same way, the whole time being watched on a camera, get your stash.. umm prescription and move on about yo BIZness....
      noteworthy... the vending machine in LA has been confiscated by the DEA... theres a story on digg somewhere about that..
    • Funkly, on 05/06/2008, -0/+4not that i would know anything about that...
    • Oea420, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1Actually, there use a magnetic strip to from a card the club issues you..

      Which is very easy to duplicate with the right equipment...

      Not that I would know anything about duplicating a friend's card and having a shiny new metal dealer.

      Fracking toaster never hooks it up tho
  • BojanglesUdon, on 05/06/2008, -0/+19Sales of used panties were banned by the Japanese government a while back. Now I have to resort to kidnapping for my fix. Thanks, Japanese government!
    • gnothiseauton, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1Really? When did that happen?
      • derrikirred, on 05/06/2008, -0/+6A while back.
      • JordanTW90, on 05/06/2008, -0/+32004.
      • yacks, on 05/06/2008, -0/+3I think you are slightly incorrect.. they banned the sale of used panties from those under the age of 18..according to wikipedia which also said clients resorted to sniffing them while the girl is still wearing them as a result.
  • jawagas, on 05/06/2008, -2/+3There should be a hobo accessory vending machine selling cheap boose, ratty sleeping bags, and bags of fleas.
  • djg123, on 05/06/2008, -5/+3iPod vending machine at JFK airport!
    http://www.davidgoodwin.net/myphotos/cali/drawers_ ...
    • BurnTees, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1does it come loaded with songs? if not, what's the point? "man i wish i had an ipod for this flight. sweet! i can buy one here! now i can listen to nothing for the entire flight!"
      • Oea420, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1Now that's an idea..

        an iTunes music store vending machine that you can plug in to directly at the airport and load up for the flight...

        holy crap i think i'm on to something
    • Jektal, on 05/06/2008, -1/+1Saw one of those in (one of) the Houston airports too. Really expected it to be on this list
    • cannabrain, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1One of these things is in my local Albertsons
  • yngtimmy, on 05/06/2008, -4/+4If you notice, the machine says 24/6. On the Sabbath it takes a break.
    • Andyschism, on 05/06/2008, -1/+2I had to go back, missed it but it really does say 24/6. Good observation!
    • ka2err, on 05/06/2008, -1/+1Keying in your order may be considered doing work if you are really orthodox so you may not use the machine on Sabbath.
      However, I'm not an orthodox Jew so I may be completely wrong.
  • Nhmarine, on 05/06/2008, -1/+4You can't forget about the vending machine that serves crack.
    • Oea420, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1that's the 4th hole down in the wall at that one park in oakland.... put money in, crack comes out
      • RobbleRobble, on 05/07/2008, -0/+0Oh *****, I was supposed to put MONEY in the hole?
  • homercles337, on 05/06/2008, -2/+14Why do people immediately cry "PEDO" when something sexual involves young *women?* Pedophilia is attraction to pre-pubescent girls, not young women. This is probably borderline ephebophilia, but these women are NOT pre-pubescent. Ok, now the protestants can digg me down.
    • gnothiseauton, on 05/06/2008, -1/+1I think its good people call this "pedo" when it involves young women. If they dont know that pedophilia means a "fondness" for pre-pubescent girls, then they will probably have trouble with an idea like "the age of consent." It is best to leave the taboo in place so they dont need to think about the legality of it.
    • Oea420, on 05/06/2008, -0/+3I know man......

      It's funny how society is, sixteen is prime child-bearing age.....and it's pedo to find them attractive, lol@nature
  • gnothiseauton, on 05/06/2008, -0/+7In japan, the most common vending machines are drinks then cigarettes followed by beer. The cigarette vending machines require a special ID. The beer ones work with your drivers license or national ID card. The sex related vending machines come next: porn videos, porn mags or full of all you need for a fun night (condoms, lube, handcuffs, dildos, vibrators, etc.) I HAVE in fact seen one for school girl panties. After those, perhaps Panasonic battery vending machines are next. Though, I have never seen a battery vending machine next to a vibrator one. Some people have no business sense I guess ;) The best I have seen was for its placement not its contents. It was a flower bouquet vending machine located in a bar and entertainment district just across from a "massage" parlor. At 6am, after a night out clubbing, it was a bit surreal to see.
  • tfm4th, on 05/06/2008, -1/+1hope they don't get cheap with the soiled panties and start hiring sweaty fat dudes to wear them instead *We wear for less*
  • GiJoeBob, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1http://www.coolest-gadgets.com/20070228/pizza-vend ...

    http://digg.com/design/New_Tech:_French_Fry_Vendin ...
  • PinkFloyd2003, on 05/06/2008, -0/+5I've actually seen that Win-a-Lobster Claw game up in Maine at a restaurant and I couldn't help but think all the exact same things the person who wrote this article was thinking including a "Who the ***** greenlights this idea?"
  • wbeavis, on 05/06/2008, -0/+0They left out the Smart Car Vending Tower. I'd say buying a car from a vending machine would be a touch bizarre. (use google)
  • Kenzan, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1That Lobster Machine looks like fun.
  • bandaidkjk, on 05/06/2008, -0/+4I'm surprised this one for Live Bait didn't make it in. I've seen a few around MN.
    http://www.vcibaitvend.com/
  • ghilliedog, on 05/06/2008, -0/+0Do they really think that these are from the nubile females depicted on the packet
  • hasslinthehoff, on 05/06/2008, -0/+2Oy! Finally, gilfete fish via vending machine. No more schlepping to the Jewish market for me...
  • replaysMike, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1I would have dugg this if there were more listed. There are entire sites dedicated to hundreds of listings and these guys only show a small few.
  • toastbot, on 05/07/2008, -0/+0I've seen a couple of those lobster "vending machines" in Florida. Someone I knew actually won one time. They looked a lot unhealthier than lobsters in a normal non-vending machine. It's not really a "vending machine," it's more like a crane game except with lobsters instead of stuffed animals. Anyone remember that "Simpsons" episode where Otto is playing the crane game and trying to get a LOBSTER harmonica? Wierd.
    • alieneggsac, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1I'm just curious, did you just go visit the pot vending machine about 45 minutes ago?
  • cannabrain, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1That pot vending machine is just waiting to be raped by some duped magnetic strips
  • ChrisConrow, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1They had one of those lobster machines in Panama City. It cost 2 dollars and if you won the club cooked it and served it to you
  • Born4Surf, on 05/14/2008, -0/+1Largest vending machine in the world: http://vendings.blogspot.com/2008/04/largest-vendi ...
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