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This is What I Call a Close Call // Pics

kuvaton.com — Few more inches would have probably changed his life.

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  • Stupidumb, on 04/10/2008, -30/+344I foresee some chicks trying to recreate this event.
    • teriyakisause, on 04/10/2008, -7/+183This dude would have been a chick if it went up further.
      • Stupidumb, on 04/10/2008, -29/+8I disagree. It would have made him a pissed of, crying dude.
        • burnin8r28, on 04/10/2008, -14/+6with 2 aholes
        • arcooke, on 04/10/2008, -8/+42Your nickname is absolutely perfect for you.
          • Stupidumb, on 04/10/2008, -8/+3Oh ho ho. That is SO funny. That is also SOOO clever. is it because I misspelled "off"? Dude, your insult is AWESOME. How did you come up with it?! Are you a genius level genius with mega genius-level abilities?! You are so super cool. HAHAHAH, oh man, it's funny cause my name on digg is "Stupidumb", but I didn't realize it until you insulted me with your quick wit and keen observation. So super cool...
          • Trykt, on 04/10/2008, -2/+2Cry more.
          • Stupidumb, on 04/10/2008, -5/+3OH MAN MORE CLEVER PEOPLE!! HAHAHAHA. Oh, and I thought I was being sarcastic! SILLY ME. My name is Stupidumb. I must be stupid AND dumb. But it took someone as smart as "Trykt" to show me that I was "crying" and not being sarcastic. Silly me. I should not be surprised by all he smart people on the internet, BUT I AM!!! LOLOLHAHAHAHAHAA, I'M CRYING LOL!!!!
          • burnin8r28, on 04/11/2008, -1/+2someone needs a hug
      • vornan19, on 04/10/2008, -3/+18I noted the broken end of the branch so I'm betting on his having balls of steel. Or perhaps he tensed and raised up a little, then had to break it off to get out!
      • twigboy, on 04/10/2008, -1/+7chicks love the woody
      • potofgravy, on 04/10/2008, -2/+3He got wood.
      • Stupidumb, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1Why is "pis sed" considered a swear word?
    • sanman, on 04/10/2008, -1/+18Now that's one safety commercial that BMW's marketing dept should have tried.
    • affanjam, on 04/10/2008, -3/+30This guy need the "Luckiest Man in the World Award"
      • AncientNewborn, on 04/10/2008, -5/+1well i'd say he'd b more "Most unlucky man in the world" if he had gotten impaled..u know where..so its more of an unlucky thing than a lucky thing
    • Slagtits, on 04/10/2008, -0/+26You would need a very, very close friend to remove the splinters
      • megagram, on 04/10/2008, -0/+11Why would you need someone else to do it?
      • jer2eydevil88, on 04/10/2008, -1/+11In the case of a non-digger this person is usually refered to as a "Girlfriend".
        • Intamin, on 04/11/2008, -0/+2In the case of a digger this person is usually refered to as your hand.
      • jazgold, on 04/10/2008, -3/+3at age 11 i remember having to go to my friend's mom to remove a tick from my hairless ballsack.

        incredibly memorable experience.
        • Slagtits, on 04/10/2008, -1/+11Do you still "use" that memory?
        • DLuckyE, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Makes one wonder how that tick go there
    • Spuy767, on 04/10/2008, -9/+2I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that if he had impaled his crotch, it would be darwin's sweet revenge.
      • redneckblues, on 04/10/2008, -1/+34Lol, he almost went out on a limb.
    • fearlessfx, on 04/10/2008, -1/+21Rule 34, anyone?
    • Eucolastic, on 04/10/2008, -12/+0WAHT THE *****

      HAHA

      l
    • brianjlowry, on 04/10/2008, -1/+3"Here, hold my beer. I'm going to show you something cool."
    • theone3, on 04/10/2008, -0/+22Injury pics http://jeepforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=503664

      VERY lucky.. oww...
      • theone3, on 04/10/2008, -0/+11QUOTE: As you can see in the pics, i have some damage to my torso ( my " boys " also took a hard shot and are swollen to 3 times normal size and are dark purple ). There was internal bleeding that stopped on it's own without surgery, and i have damage to my kidney and bowel that require another visit to the trauma Doctor. In the meantime i have some time off work to heal, I am very swollen/ bruised/ stiff and sore but everything seems to be working OK.
        • potofgravy, on 04/10/2008, -0/+6That looks incredibly painful.

          *high five*
      • jaydoj, on 04/10/2008, -2/+1Purple nuts are purple
    • Asianwaste, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Haha, I bet his new year resolution was to not to drive jeeps in forests anymore.
    • shondell, on 04/10/2008, -0/+7that would be some major wood for that chick to take

      im a ***** idiot
      • jaydoj, on 04/10/2008, -7/+2you um, workin on a joke there? Makin some comedy? Got a great builder up to a climax? Maybe a funny punch line? Hopin to maybe brighten someones day by making them laugh? Hmm? You makin a play on words there? You messin around with puns? Yeah you deserve a vacation.
        • magoblygoo, on 04/11/2008, -0/+1you um, ever had your foot in your mouth? dick drip..
    • VgRasta, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3With a cup
    • hellathatguy, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3this is like what happened to that chick in the first evil dead!!!! right up the....
      • WarMachineWCLH, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1That's the first thing that poped into my head when I read stupiddumb's comment. Apparently it was just me and you though.
      • moliver000, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1and me too
    • iPood, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Happy New Year indeed.
  • HIFIsamurai, on 04/10/2008, -32/+5stick up the what?!
    • sockpuppets, on 04/10/2008, -1/+49What what in my butt?

      Ok.
      • jackieshmackie, on 04/10/2008, -2/+6Just be gentle, I'm delicate like a flower
  • Bukowsky, on 04/10/2008, -12/+114holy *****! that would've really, really sucked!
  • Kondakarian, on 04/10/2008, -78/+6ouch. Almost worthy of a Darwin award.
    • Lane, on 04/10/2008, -4/+43How so? What is so dangerously stupid of driving down the road?
      • Spuy767, on 04/10/2008, -15/+2Umm, you have to be pretty ***** oblivious not to see a tree in the road.
        • neuens07, on 04/10/2008, -1/+13Have you ever driven a jeep? You run over ***** like that all the time
    • Celeron, on 04/10/2008, -5/+24You're the one that deserves the Darin award for being a total idiot.
      • wc3452, on 04/10/2008, -1/+17and you should get one too for best supporting "Darin"
        • timusca, on 04/10/2008, -3/+1You both should be given one for not knowing that one has to DIE to receive an award... and your stupidity has made me want to kill you both, so you're right one track.
        • pastaq, on 04/10/2008, -0/+4@timusca: No, just removing yourself from the gene pool is sufficient to get an award. That is why the dude who had his penis bitten off by a horse has one.
    • fef560, on 04/10/2008, -1/+17Darwin awards are almost as overused as rick rolls
    • forgiste, on 04/10/2008, -9/+3A darwin award is only given if the person dies in a really stupid way, this probably wouldn't have caused death, right? Unless of course it punctured the person all the way to their spine.
      • sephiroth965, on 04/10/2008, -0/+18Actually, no; if the person is unable to reproduce because of the stupid accident they can get a Darwin Award. They don't necessarily have to die just eliminate their genes from the gene pool.
      • skratchnerd, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1If my man meat were ever damaged, please proceed w/ the euthanasia
  • ruz322, on 04/10/2008, -2/+105The mere realization of what he almost lost should change his life anyway.
    • nvisn, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1I would go ***** everything in sight.... Wait I would do it anyway if I could.
    • TVarmy, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1I'd go to the sperm bank and preserve a bit of myself for Mrs. Right or future generations.
    • Phuzion, on 05/07/2008, -0/+0Believe me, I'm sure this dude has a brand new dash-mount for his iPod Nano right now
  • blinker265, on 04/10/2008, -17/+2DAYUMMM!!!
  • prabjot, on 04/10/2008, -17/+4I hope the bark missed his....ohh well ,if it were her....
  • DrummerAndrew, on 04/10/2008, -19/+265That would have hit my dick. It's huge! I own a Jeep!

    /sarcasm
    • danlbuckley, on 04/10/2008, -2/+22Are you sure you didn't mean it would have hit the back of your head? :)
    • Kerath, on 04/10/2008, -2/+8Hmm, that's obviously an unpaved, snow-covered road. You're right, he should've gotten a Honda Civic like you have.
    • J0415, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1Are you referring to the branch that's huge? or your dick?
  • DarkerMaster, on 04/10/2008, -15/+8NOT THE NADDS!!!
  • weister42, on 04/10/2008, -6/+25He got wooded.
  • dustinjr1993, on 04/10/2008, -32/+1rofl is it was any closer...consider him to lose his man-hood
  • mheisel, on 04/10/2008, -3/+286Forget about the penis jokes. I am more interested in the story of how the tree got into the car.
    • pintomp3, on 04/10/2008, -3/+303it used a rootkit.
    • Sp0rAdiC, on 04/10/2008, -0/+140Looks like it hit its weak spot for massive damage.
    • youri, on 04/10/2008, -3/+16He was offroading and a fallen tree got stuck under the tire and got pulled through the firewall as the tire spinned. He says he wasn't going fast or anything. I have a wrangler JK too and after I saw that I wanted to reinforce my firewall with some steel.
      You can see pictures of what happened to the guy afterwards here :http://www.jeepforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50 ...
      He had a whole lot of bruises but was alive and okay.
      • jcaino, on 04/10/2008, -2/+1after market skid plates FTW.
        and it looks like the link is b0rked.
      • sinembarg0, on 04/10/2008, -0/+4http://www.jeepforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50 ...
        ( t=503664 )
      • nskinn, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1"What was originally planned to be a nice easy New Years Day Run got sideways on me very quickly.

        I believe what happened was that my drivers front tire caught the tip of a fallen tree that was laying paralell to the trail and it kicked it up or turned it in such a way as to jump up a bit and i was travelling at just the right speed and and at just the right angle ( i think the tree missed everthing but the brake line before it hit the firewall ) to drive it through the firewall upwards between the clutch and brake pedal grazing my groin and hitting me in the left side of my stomach pinning me to the seat. It happened really fast and very violently and i think the driver behind me had a better view of what happened but that's the best i can describe it. i've driven over logs and branches before and never even considered the idea of one coming up through the floor. i guess like any time i get hurt i always think that i could have been more careful, but it still seems like a one in a million type thing ( everyone who witnessed the accident seems to agree ).

        Thankfully I was wheeling with a group and they were able to transport me out to get medical attention. They also took care of my Jeep and have made it so much easier for me to concentrate on healing. I am forever grateful for there help. Thanks again Ian, Tom, Blair, Martin and the rest of the guys.

        I wasn't being careless, but in the future I will certainly be more careful. I've heard of other incidents similar to mine since it happened, but never before. Please be safe on the trails.

        As you can see in the pics, i have some damage to my torso ( my " boys " also took a hard shot and are swollen to 3 times normal size and are dark purple ). There was internal bleeding that stopped on it's own without surgery, and i have damage to my kidney and bowel that require another visit to the trauma Doctor. In the meantime i have some time off work to heal, I am very swollen/ bruised/ stiff and sore but everything seems to be working OK."
      • j3ffr0, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1He's a moron!
    • speedygonzalez, on 04/10/2008, -7/+6through the floor... (i had to)
    • travbrack, on 04/10/2008, -8/+1Not sure if this is real..it would take a lot of force to get a tree branch through the firewall
    • Paranoidmarvin, on 04/10/2008, -1/+6Jeeps have firewalls?
      No more bittorrent in the car then...
    • Viriatus2, on 04/10/2008, -2/+1the tree tried to have sex with the car, or the driver?
    • Pritchard, on 04/10/2008, -2/+2You mean how his penis broke off? That's right. That's his penis.
  • MikeonTV, on 04/10/2008, -9/+2Thank god he was too tired to drive. A nice girlfriend too btw.
  • Enron1985, on 04/10/2008, -10/+2Are you in good hands?
  • anonm, on 04/10/2008, -20/+2*****... When you see it, you'll ***** bricks.
    • subterfuge, on 04/10/2008, -1/+6stfu. you were just waiting for an opportunity, not matter how tenuous, to use that phrase.
    • Hoogs, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1Go back to 4chan.
  • Biznaka, on 04/10/2008, -15/+1Who knows it could have been a girl who intentionally drove it into there...... :o
    • Biznaka, on 04/10/2008, -0/+12Wait a second, what's a girl???
    • akinnee, on 04/10/2008, -0/+7I'm pretty damn sure that would hurt just as bad.
    • Xorsist, on 04/10/2008, -2/+17its a stick shift, like a woman could drive that...
      • sporad1c, on 04/10/2008, -0/+5Good point, a guy was definitely driving.
      • subterfuge, on 04/10/2008, -1/+4well, that WOULD explain why the jeep was so far away from the road . . .
      • AsSubtleAsABrik, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3Man, that reminds me of when I was at Denny's (don't ask me why) and they had this old advertisement for an automatic transmission on the wall. There was a woman driving the car and it said, "Now you can drive as well as your husband can!!"
        • skratchnerd, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1gotta love how women knew their place back in the day

          /sarcasm
      • Spuy767, on 04/10/2008, -0/+2Is that you masterson?
  • temporaryescape, on 04/10/2008, -4/+57we need to start putting steel plates underneath cars... sort of like the bulletproof plates used on hillary's chopper cockpit into bosnia.
    • aussieNickuss, on 04/10/2008, -1/+10My car, a standard large mitsubishi sedan has a steel firewall between the engine and the driver. I would have thought a Jeep designed for off-road driving would have some at least some solid protection under the car.
      • nitrojunky24, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3it does but the branch slipped into the whole where the holes for the clutch pedal and brake pedal are in the firewall its really a one in million shot kind of thing
      • bethehammer, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1yeah, any off-roading truck/jeep would have lots of steel on the bottom so the underbelly stuff isn't ripped off or destroyed by huge rocks/trees but this went inside the wheel well through the firewall and almost right in his ass
    • subterfuge, on 04/10/2008, -0/+12unfortunately, the terrorists' railguns penetrated the plates and punctured the control panel. luckily, hillary was able to reroute the wiring and regain control of the helicopter, landing it safely and avoiding a crash into a bosnian orphanage.
    • mali1, on 04/10/2008, -1/+3GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      • skratchnerd, on 04/10/2008, -0/+2COME ON!!! DO IT ALREADY, KILL ME NOW!!!!
    • atmospherePUNCH, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1they do, they're called skid plates, and you can get them put on your vehicle if you plan on going off road.

  • hektur, on 04/10/2008, -8/+2I wish we had a picture section for this.
    • hektur, on 04/10/2008, -5/+2And now I realise that I was under Upcoming/All not Upcoming/News.

      Digg me down god damnit.
  • bobbybebob, on 04/10/2008, -7/+2ouch thats close...
    Mirror http://uploadingit.com/view/527512_oo0rw if needed
    • cherwilco, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1do you own uploadingit or do you just suck the site admins hairy balls?
  • Poweroft, on 04/10/2008, -5/+35That's what I call a sticky situation.
  • stevenwalters, on 04/10/2008, -73/+320 … … … … … … … … … „„–~-„„… … … … … … ..„–„„
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  • IpwnZnoobs, on 04/10/2008, -6/+1he would have died... on the inside... if that would of got him...
    • Swallowell, on 04/10/2008, -0/+9You mean if that wood of got him...
      • redneckblues, on 04/10/2008, -3/+1In Soviet Russia, wood gets you!
        • Namaha, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3Even as far as Soviet Russia jokes go, this didn't make sense.
      • skratchnerd, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1baa-dum bum
    • AzraelDenver, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1He lived actually. Got banged up, though.
    • willynilly, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3"Would of"? WTF is that supposed to mean?
    • lukeyd2006, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Opposed to dying...on the outside...?
  • jodofashodo, on 04/10/2008, -0/+21The ipod matches the color of the jeep, how cute!
    • spiderman222, on 04/10/2008, -1/+0His gloves match the color too!
  • azAZ09, on 04/10/2008, -3/+99I am a leaf on the wind, whatch how I ...
    --WHAT THE ***** ?!
  • bossm4n, on 04/10/2008, -1/+14Missed it by THAT much. ~ Maxwell Smart
    • BNash577, on 04/10/2008, -3/+2Already quoting the trailer, this is great...
      • johnandlandry, on 04/10/2008, -0/+8That was one of the catch phrases from the old show, not just a line in the movie.
      • Balloondoggies, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3....or the TV show that has been around forever....
      • bossm4n, on 04/10/2008, -0/+4I can only hear that phrase coming from the lips of Don Adams. I grew up watching the original (yes, I'm old). I do have hopes for the upcoming movie, but I'm not holding my breath.
      • BNash577, on 04/13/2008, -0/+1Apparently...I'm too young to appreciate these jokes. I'm sorry about the trailer thing...
    • passedoutghost, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1Sorry 'bout that ~ Tree.
  • cl2yp71c, on 04/10/2008, -1/+2Phew!
    Good thing he isn't ***** splinters now.
  • Me0wmix, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1Mother nature prevails!
  • polishdude06, on 04/10/2008, -2/+4Gives a whole new meaning to "a stick up your ass".
    • antiorblkflag9, on 04/10/2008, -0/+10Or up your urethra....that's a saying right?
  • Hobobob10, on 04/10/2008, -7/+1He's a lucky guy to be able to come out of that one with his balls attached. But still, that's a pretty new looking truck. It's a shame it's already wrecked like that especially when it looks like that happened because of distracted driving.
  • KeithA45, on 04/10/2008, -2/+2It looks like the log might have even hit the brake for him... talk about lucky!
  • chrisinsocalif, on 04/10/2008, -1/+9First time he had something hard between his legs in years!
  • TheWeez, on 04/10/2008, -1/+36Here are all the pictures and the story.
    http://postworthy.com/Worthy/ex/Jeep_Vs_Tree/60.as ...
    If that doesn't work, there are some more pictures here:
    http://jalopnik.com/342722/jeep-wrangler-skewered- ...
    And this story has been submitted before. Months old.
    • gyrfalcon, on 04/10/2008, -0/+21, Ripoff photos from jeepforum.com
      2. Post photos to ***** website with adds.
      3. PROFIT!
  • callinthelaw69, on 04/10/2008, -7/+52Buried as inaccurate. A woman must have been driving.
    • mali1, on 04/10/2008, -3/+16Buried as inaccurate. Women can't drive.
    • hackysackwizard, on 04/11/2008, -0/+1Dugg as accurate, the jeep is clearly impaled on a tree.
  • sporad1c, on 04/10/2008, -1/+5If the driver isn't hospitalized he should be out buying lottery tickets, because he is the luckiest mother ***** alive.
    • juveduke, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1If only I could be lucky enough to have a tree punch a hole in my car.
      • sporad1c, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Ok, so the tree in the car bit isn't that lucky, but the part about not getting your dick torn off and mangled by said tree, now thats lucky.
    • BuckyDent, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1This was divine intervention. Do you know what divine intervention is?
      • arjie, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1if a tree falls in a forest and no one gets hurt...
  • renemartini, on 04/10/2008, -1/+5What really freaks me out that Jeep looks new and easily got punctured, damm cars are now made out of plastic.
    • justinside, on 04/10/2008, -0/+2Not all vehicles are made of plastic - Jeeps are much more cheaply made then what they used to be. - This is a result.
  • Snake777, on 04/10/2008, -3/+0That's quite a woody!
  • lilricky, on 04/10/2008, -1/+12A log penetrated the firewall? Guess they don't make Jeeps like they used to.
  • stephapple, on 04/10/2008, -3/+8Jeepers! ... get it? :D
  • TipsyMcDoodle, on 04/10/2008, -2/+3WORST TIME FOR ROAD HEAD
  • CloseYetFar, on 04/10/2008, -1/+3It probably still runs fine, the jeep that is....
  • c1rcasurv1ve, on 04/10/2008, -1/+4Looks like if he were driving an automatic instead, the breakpedal would've cockblocked the tree.
    • Samohtneas, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Chances are it would've just been broken and pushed aside, so why bother giving up one more MPG?
    • willynilly, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1"Breakpedal"?
      • ChromaVita, on 04/10/2008, -0/+4When the tree smashed through it would have been a brokepedal.
  • mecharabbit, on 04/10/2008, -9/+4Nature was trying to stop that guy from breeding for some reason. He must be a Republican.
  • Awspire, on 04/10/2008, -6/+1That last picture was scarier than 2 girls one cup.
  • Shaman760, on 04/10/2008, -0/+9Real life version of "Ow My Balls!!"
  • Bassoondiva, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1Ok... That just would have been just plain mean!.
  • SifuMoKung, on 04/10/2008, -2/+6Trees are terrorists. Burn them all.
  • MrSchler, on 04/10/2008, -11/+1fake fake fake
  • BossKey, on 04/10/2008, -2/+20Rule 34 means someone, somewhere is saying "OMG that's hot"
    • ChromaVita, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1No, Rule 34 means somewhere there is a porn of a tree bursting into a jeep, and into a woman's snatch. She then tries to back up, forcing the tree in and out. If it hasn't been made, may Rule 35 be enacted.
  • c4m320n, on 04/10/2008, -0/+0EEEK! That made my balls hurt!
  • powrslave, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3Wow this didn't do so hot the first time around...
    http://digg.com/autos/Man_gets_stabbed_by_a_tree_o ...
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