What is Digg?191 Comments
- FluxHarmonic, on 10/10/2007, -1/+162My fave:
Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you - djironx, on 10/10/2007, -1/+129LEELOO DALLAS MULTIPASS
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+102Sadly, I could read that without any difficulty
- twrife, on 10/10/2007, -9/+109C://dos
C://dos.run
run.dos.run
I laughed pretty hard at that one. - mb3581, on 10/10/2007, -3/+80haha, this is great.
------Jocks vs Nerds----
Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.
If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.
If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.
While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.
This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?
However...
If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.
$$$ Game over. Nerd wins. - inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+73Leet speak isn't for geeks anymore, 13 year old myspace users killed it
- Renton, on 10/10/2007, -6/+74Genesis Take Two
1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from
those he created the Word.
2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed.
And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was
good.
3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened.
And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places.
And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.
4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place
to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.
Thus God created computers and called them hardware.
5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small
and big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill
all the Memory.
6. And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer
will make new programs and govern over the computers and
programs and Data.
7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center;
And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said
You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE
Windows.
8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone.
He took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a
creature that would look up at the Programmer; and admire
the Programmer; and love the things the Programmer does;
And God called the creature: the User.
9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS
and it was Good.
10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God.
And Bill said to the User - Did God really tell you not to
run any programs ?
11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use every
program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows
or we will die.
12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something
you did not even try. The moment you run Windows you will
become equal to God. You will be able to create anything you
like by a simple click of your mouse.
13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and
easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless
- since Windows could replace it.
14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to
the Programmers that it was good.
15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers.
And God asked him - What are you looking for? And the
Programmer answered - I am looking for new drivers because I
can not find them in the DOS. And God said - Who told you need
drivers? Did you run Windows?
And the Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to !
16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated
by all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you.
And you will always sell Windows.
17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows
will disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will
have to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the
Programmers help.
18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the
User you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors
and you will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.
19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door
and secured it with a password.
20. GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT
- Unknown - AdmiralJimbob, on 10/10/2007, -1/+66"The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be."
That's not a geek quote, it's a smartass quotation. - LiamIsOnFire, on 10/10/2007, -7/+71"1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"
I'm not sure I want to lose my virginity if I suddenly will be able to stop reading txt spk. - altjeringa, on 10/10/2007, -6/+61l33t 5p34k... noob
- getrealnow, on 10/10/2007, -2/+57I could read that upside down, with beer goggles, in a unknown language.
- nicksauce, on 10/10/2007, -10/+62Just to be a geek, I'll point out that it should be "The best geek quotations". Quote is a verb, Quotation is a noun.
- DudeRoks, on 10/10/2007, -3/+53"If YOUTUBE MYSPACE i'll GOOGLE your YAHOO!"
- kylesellers, on 10/10/2007, -0/+46Sorry, it's ***** now.
- S4MF1SHER, on 10/10/2007, -0/+41"Back off man, I'm a scientist."
-Pete Venkman - ewsherm, on 10/10/2007, -4/+40Hey look at me!!1! I can put 10 random bash.org quotes on a page and call it a top 10 list!
- sdschwendener, on 10/10/2007, -8/+42While this list is funny.. it is hardly the best 10 geek quotes. If anything it should be "10 funny geek quotes" I could find a list of 10 more relevant quotes than these that are quotes from credible people. like this one should be number 1.
"640K of memory should be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981. - sontakey, on 10/10/2007, -3/+361. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
2. My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.
3. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
4. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
5. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
6. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
7. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
8. I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
9. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
10. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - DigitAl56K, on 10/10/2007, -6/+38As someone who used DOS for years, that "funny" doesn't even make any sense. Perhaps that's the joke? If so, why not just write "C:bananas" ? And the slashes are backwards. And there should be only one of them.
- MrSketch, on 10/10/2007, -0/+25Linux IS user friendly. It's just picky about who it's friends are.
- f4nt0m4s, on 10/10/2007, -8/+33lllleeeeeeeeroooooooyyyyyyyy jeeeennnkiins
- seether166, on 10/10/2007, -0/+22Wrong...it's both: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=quote
- D4r7h3v1l, on 10/10/2007, -3/+25Yea, that would have been good...
had he actually said it. - sontakey, on 10/10/2007, -0/+20"17. You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation."
- kickcows, on 10/10/2007, -1/+20r.i.p. clippy
- Renton, on 10/10/2007, -3/+22Mirror: http://bash.org
- olddirtycr, on 10/10/2007, -0/+19Being a fellow geek, I feel embarrassed this is the best we could come up with.
- newyawker, on 10/10/2007, -0/+18I put on my robe and wizard hat.
- KiiCK, on 10/10/2007, -0/+18p14l 73ƃ 0ʇ p33u ʎll43ɹ n s1ɥʇ p43ɹ u4ɔ n ɟ1
- OutThisLife, on 10/10/2007, -1/+18I read that line without having to think about it.
- tech42er, on 10/10/2007, -2/+18r34lly 34sy 4 m3 2 r34d 4s w3ll.
- xedd, on 10/10/2007, -0/+16In other words: 69
- 0ceanic, on 10/10/2007, -5/+20language changes over time. geeks know that and accept it just fine.
you're a *****. - bastian89, on 10/10/2007, -3/+18Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks ...Troubled User
-------
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 installed and work on improving the configuration. I suggest installing the background application YesDear 99.0 to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to do this before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and DoBills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0, but beware because sometimes these applications can be expensive.
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
WARNING!!! Attempting to install NewGirlFriend 8.8 along with Wife 1.0 will crash the system.
(see Wife 1.0 manual, Apologize, High Maintenance & Secretary with Short Skirt) - SlappyMc, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16amen brother
- smurf22, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15Bill new quote - 14 gigs of memory is minimum to run Windows 7
- Archon810, on 10/10/2007, -0/+14I, for one, like the 2nd page much more. The first one is too played out.
"The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!" - sislar, on 10/10/2007, -3/+17Unfortunately this is not a quote, Gates claims he never said it and there is no evidence that he ever did. Its
just become folklore at this point. - tech42er, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13Actually, script kiddies killed it. However, 13 year-old Myspace users merged it with txt speak Now it's just used sarcastically.
- sleepwalkers, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13Eet sgeak lloob?
- JoWiGo, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13Yes. We did get it. We thought it was dumb.
- lampiaio, on 10/10/2007, -2/+13There's also:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
in Soviet Russia,
Poem writes you!!! - altinnovation, on 10/10/2007, -1/+11That one would be a false. Visit any local myspace-whore and you'll notice that their punctuation ain't all that different from l331 speak
- graemee, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9At least I got Chicken.
- sinn98, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9whale biologist!
- Battleloser, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
Thats pretty zenny. - doctechnical, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8'leet speak was lame in the 80s. Been there, despised that, at 2400 baud.
- Osmodius, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Not to mention-
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll ***** you with a rake - alexkorova, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about Rock-n-Roll.
- Shigeru Miyamoto - Sparkster185, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7http://bash.org
-
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