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77 Comments
- vanmeir, on 10/10/2007, -1/+23"Security: Sir, you're clearly the Penguin...."
Jerry Seinfeld has a joke about how we ought to look back fondly on the Penguin, since very few criminals even bother to come up with a theme for their careers anymore. - 10goto10, on 10/10/2007, -1/+18"The man who saw with his fingers!"... Think "shocker".
- nerdism, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15Welcome to every article from Cracked.com, I mean Digg.
- oball, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11Yeah, but anyone can bite someone's nose. A proper supervillain would shoot your nose with an orbital death laser, or slowly lower it into a vat of acid.
- DetectiveX, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10Burying for inaccuracy. Authors obviously haven't opened a comic since 1980.
- lobasuu, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9Oh I don`t know...The penguin was definitely quite scary. The way he bit people`s noses and made them bleed?
- driftin079, on 10/10/2007, -4/+11Right, because we never see cracked.com articles on Digg anymore...
- Shawn4168, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Dugg for the Family Circle comic.
- honeymustardn, on 10/10/2007, -2/+9But cracked articles are good.
- TheCooler72, on 10/10/2007, -2/+9Buried for inaccuracy. This writer clearly watched more of the movies and TV shows than read the comics.
"if you step to Batman, he’s going to ***** end you. None of this dropping Lex Luther off in prison so he can escape for the sequel *****. Batman needed more villains because he killed more of them."
Ever heard of Arkham Asylum? Batman is a bad-ass, but he wasn't about killing villains, not even The Joker. - manicallday, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8I vote for The Monarch and Dr. Girl Friend.
- centran, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Oh come on. The Monarch has a flying cocoon; A Flying freak'n cocoon! How many people can say, "I am a little tired. I think I will go home to my flying cocoon."
- aflaks, on 10/10/2007, -3/+8Cracked blows, anyone can make a *****, inaccurate list, but these guys are the experts.
- heartcoldfusion, on 10/15/2007, -2/+7"First, if you step to Batman, he’s going to ***** end you."
classic. - MasonStormchild, on 10/10/2007, -2/+7What the hell is wrong with you people? You vote articles down just because they're from the same website or on multiple pages? Did it ever occur to you to look at the quality of the article itself?
- neonhomer, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5That's the format for books. Web pages are more like scrolls. That's why most mice now have a scroll wheel on them. I understand that the articles are paginated to get more ads displayed but it's poor usability.
- Laughto, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4You're right, the worst thing about those Cracked articles is their uselessness. When reading comedy sites the first quality I look for is usefulness.
- halcyon77, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Bi-Polar Bear is on my list of worst in general. But he was more a hero than a villain.
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4A real Villan would use a ***** shark with freaking laser beams on their head to shoot your nose off.
- Swanny614, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Oh, see I was under the impression it was a joke, and therefore, shouldn't be taken serioiusly.
Eat a dick - Solkre, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3The guy with eyes on his fingers has to be the worse one! How does he wipe his ass, does he carry a glove for that?
- centran, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3The penguin in the new animated series "The Batman" is pretty scary. However, the penguin is not supposed to be really scary. He is just a criminal mastermind.
It's the same way with the riddler. He is not supposed to be scary. He is a genius that has turned to crime and challenges Batman's intellect. - Laughto, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Yeah who cares about form if the content is good? Despite (or rather, regardless of) the list format I find Cracked articles to be pretty much funny and fresh every time. It's like complaining about sub-headings.
- DoobieWheel, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2You do realize that Cracked is a humour website
- tdelet, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3Good idea to include the disclaimer because with your comedy skills, it is easy to miss the jokes.
- Matri, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Which brings up a question that's been bugging me for years: Who tastes the poison to tell you what they taste like?
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Probably a good time to mention Galactus, devourer of worlds, reduced to a freggin cloud.
Oh no! It's raining everyone! We're doomed! - Elranzer, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2I guess they were pretty much only going by the movies. If so then yeah, the Batman movies always had new villains (and they usually got killed off) while Superman never fought actual super-villains. Just lame ass Lex Luther over and over and over...
- MasonStormchild, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2So...you're sick of us sharing our articles on a site designed specifically for linking articles?
That makes sense. - Swanny614, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2What do you mean if? It obviously was. It came from a comedy website. It's written by a comedy writer. It's obviously a joke. In fact, the same writer wrote something I really think you should read: http://www.juvenilecomedy.com/how_to_article.htm
Also, it was hilarious. - jonathono2000, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2What about the Hypno-Hustler?
http://www.marvel.com/universe/Hypno-Hustler - MasonStormchild, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Keep in mind that my use of the word "us" up there does not imply that I officially speak for cracked. I'm just trying to stick up for them.
- Noelix, on 10/10/2007, -2/+4Terrible list - most of them are either from the old Batman tv series or from the Batman animated series - and all of those are fairly good villains.
- ZenMojo, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1The Penguin and Man-Bat are both fairly dangerous enemies.
Paste-Pot Pete, on the other hand, is not. - MasonStormchild, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3Keep in mind that I'm not actually speaking for cracked here. I'm just making a joke. Don't want any confusion.
- KingGorilla, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I can
- Error601, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1The Deadly Bulb?
- neonhomer, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3Yeah, it'd be nice if people would start submitting the print page view. http://www.cracked.com/print.php?sid=2425
- madpiper6, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1It's subtle humor. It's good for you.
- JamaicaJames, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1i beg to differ on the ventriloquist. there were some stories in the 80's that scared the ***** out of me when I was a kid....
- MasonStormchild, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1How ***** stupid are you?
People like our articles, they digg them. That's all there is to it. Are you really so lazy that you can't muster up the effort to click the next page button? Do you not read books because the information is on multiple pages? - DoobieWheel, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I think it would be hilarious to update the awkward, nerdy Ventriloquist with either a gangsta rapper or a insane coked up Cuban drug lord as a puppet.
- MrBabyMan, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1As long as we're making up lame comic book heroes and villains , here's Cardboard Samurai and his arch-nemesis, The Soaker
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_babyman/195998515/ - tempysmurf, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Ah, my friends and I use to make up useless superheroes when we were younger. My favorites included the guy who could melt butter in his hands and the guy who could randomly teleport some other guy he didn't know.
- bjs3171, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1did you make that up or is he real? you know, in the comic-verse, of course.
- Suricou, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Arsenic is also a very slow poison, taking hours even in high doses. Cyanide, though, its very fast acting - dead in minutes. Under a minute, if enough is used. Thats why its been used for military suicide-pills: Anyone who is important enough to be issued with one needs to know that their death will be quick and not too painful.
As the villain died quickly, and with an almond-tasting poison, its probable cyanide. Perhaps the editors changed the specified poison for some reason known only to themselves. Cyanide is also easier to obtain - any skilled chemistry geek with a small lab can produce it. Arsenic is harder to find. - SteveDeGroof, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Aunt May needs to brush up on her poisons. Arsenic doesn't taste like almonds. Cyanide does.
- jbone1, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2Did no one see the comment about scarface;
"The real tragedy is that this character helps perpetuate the stereotype that those with DID/MPD are vicious serial killers, when in actuality, very few of us actually succeed in our murders, due to poor teamwork between personalities. "
Very few of US actually succeed in our murders. Sounds like the author has multiple personalities or is trying to be sarcastic. - Swanny614, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0It is definitely Cracked.com's fault that their site is blocked at work isn't it? I guess you could just, I don't know, view it at home?
- roebeet, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I totally forgot about this useless character! This guy couldn't outwit a used tea-bag.
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