What is Digg?73 Comments
- mrgreenjeans, on 11/26/2007, -0/+93Whenever anyone shares an anecdote, share an even better one even if you have to make something up.
"One time, we were driving and we almost hit a deer. It really got my heart pumping."
"Oh yeah, one time me and my buddies were driving in a Jeep and this deer started running along with us. Well, my buddy jumped out of the Jeep and onto the back of the deer and wrestled it to the ground."
I kid you not, my old boss actually said this. What a dick. - interg12, on 11/26/2007, -3/+66i do all of these and more.
#8 im always pointing at someone, i don't need a reason. i just have my finger in someones face at all times.
#9 i have a huge wad of cash that i slap people who openly disagree with me
i am effective - MJDub, on 11/26/2007, -1/+57Don't tase me, doe!
- duggtodeath, on 11/26/2007, -0/+44#5 Call everyone you meet by the nickname "Chief."
(Always roll your eyes when you say it.)
You can also substitute Chief with Buddy, Pal or Bro. Just don't use the last one around black people who are physically larger than you. - Beatmiser, on 11/26/2007, -1/+358) Put your article on a site that crashes after 97 diggs.
- sockpuppets, on 11/26/2007, -0/+29I cannot stand women that use the word "Hun." It drives me ***** bonkers, to the point of wanting to super glue their lower lip to their nose.
- krets, on 11/26/2007, -0/+25Also: Boss.
- dserfaty, on 11/26/2007, -1/+23The Seven Habits of Highly Effective *****
Gathered together for the first time ever, our tips on how you can be a more effective *****:
1. Never respect anyone unless you're sure they could physically beat you up. This includes your own mother, police officers, teachers, the president, your boss and the Pope.
2. Criticize everything, no matter how mundane or pointless it may be.
Example:
"These fries aren't very ***** crispy!"
3. Always cut people off, whether you’re talking, driving, or having sex.
4. Flick cigarette butts at everything—all the time. Even if you don't smoke.
5. Call everyone you meet by the nickname "Chief." (Always roll your eyes when you say it.)
Example:
"Yeah, right, whatever you say Chief!" (ROLLS EYES)
For extra emphasis, roll your eyes, say "Chief" and flick a cigarette butt at the same time.
6. Always precede the word "man" with either "little," "Mr.," or "old."
Examples:
"I don’t think you needed that skateboard Little Man,
and that’s why I backed over it with my Camaro."
"So, Old Man, why don’t you get up out of that wheelchair and MAKE ME!?"
"No, I don’t have my license and registration, Mr. Man."
(Notice: This is especially useful when speaking to someone you know can not beat you up.)
7. Noogie every small child you meet until they cry--including newborn babies. - andrewcsayer, on 11/26/2007, -0/+21Big Tuna!
- Feep, on 11/26/2007, -2/+23"Huh? Sorry, I'm not really into Pokemon."
- XKCD - inactive, on 11/26/2007, -0/+18I prefer "Big Cheese". It makes my managers wonder if I'm making fun of them.
- LopsidedZebra, on 11/26/2007, -1/+19Whatever you say, Chief. (Rolls eyes)
- Antha, on 11/26/2007, -0/+16My sister actually did manage to superglue her lower lip to her nose once.
I laughed. - tehroflmaoer, on 11/26/2007, -2/+16http://duggmirror.com/offbeat_news/The_7_Habits_of ... Mirror
- dillyhoo, on 11/26/2007, -2/+13I know, it's the kind of thing an ***** would write.
- houndeyex, on 11/26/2007, -0/+10Big tuna?
- thomtomw, on 11/26/2007, -0/+9#8 friendly punching
my god its so annoying - ExGhost, on 11/27/2007, -0/+9#49 Always tell stories about people that you know they don't want public.
"Did I ever tell you about that time Bill had really bad diarrhea?" - sockpuppets, on 11/26/2007, -3/+11I make deer tasers.
- ernasty10050, on 11/27/2007, -0/+7That's nothing, this one time my sister superglued her foot to her eyeball
- grimward, on 11/27/2007, -0/+7Buried article to show how a real ***** behaves! (and in other notes: ***** the comment system!)
- agjimenez, on 11/27/2007, -0/+6Grande queso. They won't know what hit them.
- Scully1981, on 11/26/2007, -0/+6The Australian equivalent: Champ.
No worries, Champ. - sgtpppr, on 11/27/2007, -0/+6Unfortunately, the vast majority of ***** who do the 'one up anecdote' are totally oblivious to the fact that it makes them look like a total *****. The worst is when they start it with 'that's nothing, there was this one time I '. It's one thing to try and always one up someone, but its a higher level of ***** to start off by belittling the previous anecdote.
- rufusdog, on 11/26/2007, -0/+57 habits of highly effective web-hosting...
- tobster85, on 11/27/2007, -0/+4Sounds like a Dane Cook joke.
- darkfate, on 11/26/2007, -0/+4Sheesh, you're such an *****! I'm surrounded by *****!
- RSS14, on 11/27/2007, -0/+4Hey you *****' small *****, no! SHHH! lemme talk! *flicks cigarette*, little man, you better not crash this ***** server, alright CHIEF? Now I am gonna noogie your 5 year old BITCH!
PS. This comment system sucks ASS! - gravis86, on 11/26/2007, -0/+3Coral Cache:
http://www.lostbrain.com.nyud.net/features/travis/ ... - Trublmakr, on 11/27/2007, -0/+3That's a pretty ***** article now isnt it Mr. Man?
- dmpapwor, on 11/26/2007, -1/+3Big Haircut!
- scoottie, on 11/26/2007, -1/+3http://www.kegz.net/archives/2003/12/18/the_7_habi ...
seems to be an old list - colto, on 11/27/2007, -0/+2*****.
- inactive, on 11/27/2007, -1/+3Hey, *****, I do all of these things. For the first time in my life, I succeed at something.
- inactive, on 11/27/2007, -0/+2I actually thought this was an article on how to be more "regular"
- qpn6ph9q, on 11/27/2007, -1/+3For the benefit of those wannabe ***** who cant be ***** going to the mirror...
1. Never respect anyone unless you're sure they could physically beat you up. This includes your own mother, police officers, teachers, the president, your boss and the Pope.
2. Criticize everything, no matter how mundane or pointless it may be. Example: "These fries aren't very ***** crispy!"
3. Always cut people off, whether you’re talking, driving, or having sex.
4. Flick cigarette butts at everything—all the time. Even if you don't smoke.
5. Call everyone you meet by the nickname "Chief." (Always roll your eyes when you say it.) Example: "Yeah, right, whatever you say Chief!" (ROLLS EYES) For extra emphasis, roll your eyes, say "Chief" and flick a cigarette butt at the same time.
6. Always precede the word "man" with either "little," "Mr.," or "old." Examples: "I don’t think you needed that skateboard Little Man, and that’s why I backed over it with my Camaro." "So, Old Man, why don’t you get up out of that wheelchair and MAKE ME!?" "No, I don’t have my license and registration, Mr. Man." (Notice: This is especially useful when speaking to someone you know can not beat you up.)
7. Noogie every small child you meet until they cry--including newborn babies. - IllBeBack, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1Good job in substituting your own experience for everyone else's and then berating them for it. *****. Looks like you're following the list well. Where's your "chief" at?
- MonkCanatella, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1Bra.
- inactive, on 11/26/2007, -2/+3Okay, little man.
*Flicks cigarette butt* - CaptainCyanide, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1Call people "kid", rather than actually learn their name.
- AbeVigoda, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1# 5 can also be substituted with "Chiefy" and "Chiefton." Or, you can take a different route, altogether, and just use the term "guy" or "boss."
- bunji, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1Can't forget "Dude" -- especially if it's bellowed down the block at one's equally drunk friend outside my damn window at two in the morning.
- Wesside, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1tried it for 30 mins before i tried dugg mirror, imho that makes the site dead on all accounts.
- sgtpppr, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1That seems to be a big southern california thing too. I know a ton of people who say it just out of habit...sort of like saying 'man'. I haven't lived in socal that long, but it always sounds arrogant to me. They generally use 'bud', which always sounds like some vague insult to me.
- ndteja, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1Dugg! Just for the title.
- skabyss, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1I call big black fellows 'Bro' all the time, haven't had my face collapsed in yet either.
- Matt2k, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1My buddy always used "Ace"
- AdverseE, on 12/02/2007, -0/+1Ummm, it looks like this site hasn't been updated since 2005. So that solves the 'why did it go down so fast' mystery.
- grimward, on 11/27/2007, -1/+2"So, Old Man, why don’t you get up out of that wheelchair and MAKE ME!?"
- pennvneff, on 11/27/2007, -0/+1You all forget the best one of them all, "Shooter" and you have to make a little pistol with your hand when you say call him it.
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