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The 11 Most Badass Last Words Ever Uttered

cracked.com — You want to think these up ahead of time.

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  • JFallon126, on 06/09/2008, -20/+382Voltaire's is easily the best.
    • IglooBurner, on 06/09/2008, -16/+84"I only regret that I have but one life to give my country."
      -Nathan Hale
      what happened to that one?
      • thcobbs, on 06/09/2008, -1/+65He was too nationalistic for today's diggers.
      • cynicalcheeto, on 06/09/2008, -8/+5That's pretty badass, but decidedly unfunny and most of us have heard it.
      • Jimmerz, on 06/09/2008, -1/+53Too much nobility, not enough nyuck-nyuck.
      • obelisky, on 06/10/2008, -3/+1his country sold him out
      • alkaline3217, on 06/10/2008, -9/+3Patriotism is stupid. What did Nathan Hale's "country" ever do for him? Aside from the fact that, when you actually think about it, that quote probably has just as much truth to it as the old stories of George Washington. Its just weepy-eyed nonsense from the "God Bless America" crowd.
      • giveer, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Oh that's easy...
        "We went from 'I have but one life to give my country' to '***** you'?"
    • RoloTomasie, on 06/09/2008, -5/+21Hale's words were too overtly self-sacrificing or sanctimonious. Voltaire's were uttered, as I'm guessing, to assuage those around him, not for attention and later quotability.
    • theuber1337, on 06/09/2008, -0/+2I love Bankhead's quote. I relate so well to it.
    • MSstar, on 06/09/2008, -9/+151what about : "LEEEEEEEROYYYYYYYY JENKIIIIIIIIIINS"?
      • diggystardust, on 06/09/2008, -3/+14or also:

        "At least I've got chicken"
      • NinjaJoey, on 06/10/2008, -2/+5I don't even like WoW, but Leeroy gives Voltaire a run for his money.
    • yohnstoppable, on 06/09/2008, -6/+10I still like Marv's from Sin City after the first unsuccessful execution

      "Is that the best you can do, you pansies?"

      • Bilabrin, on 06/09/2008, -2/+8Yeah and before that he blurts out this classic:

        "Hurry up! I 'aint got all day!"
    • diggystardust, on 06/09/2008, -9/+1"I'm on Drugs!"

      ~Almost Famous
    • burnin8r28, on 06/09/2008, -13/+3i like che's the best. it's got more meaning.
      • Rich711, on 06/10/2008, -1/+8Accept Che's actual last words were "Don't shoot, I am worth money."
        • 4d669, on 06/10/2008, -0/+11That's what he said when the CIA found him, then he was held for a few days and then killed. And it's "don't shoot, I am worth more alive than dead".
    • atticus8, on 06/09/2008, -0/+40"This wallpaper is dreadful. Either it goes, or I go" - Oscar Wilde
      Dying with humor is awesome.
      • kitsua, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2I was gonna post that. Good work - Wilde nearly always wins in quote-lore.
    • Rich711, on 06/10/2008, -3/+19Accept those were the last words Che wrote in his journal when actually facing death his reply was, "Don't shoot, I am Che Guevara and I am worth more to you alive than dead." ...not quite so bad-ass. But then again the little coward wasn't shy about rewriting his own history like after he accidentally, or in a suicide attempt, shot himself in the face but later claimed it was at the hand of a mysterious CIA agent that was never found or killed or even seen by any of his fellow soldiers that day.

      When you read his writings on the best methods for torture or about not making exceptions when executing women for speaking treason, using political prisoners for slave labor or the need to arrest jazz musicians because jazz music will only harm the state, he's doesn't seem quite so noble or romantic.
      • vilator, on 06/10/2008, -2/+14its except dammit
      • Rich711, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1Pointing out my typo doesnt make Che any less of a cowardly a-hole or you any less of a douche for using the weakest of strawman tactics to defend him.
      • althanis, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Actually saying that your typing Accept when you mean except isn't a typo at all. It shows that you misunderstand the language and you suck at accepting criticism.

        And pdxuser is also right, you obviously don't know what strawman tactics are.
    • tenmast, on 06/10/2008, -1/+7The best one is Gold Rodger's. "My fortune is your's for the taking, but you'll have to find it first. I left everything I own in One Piece."
      • weirddave, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3psst... That's not what he really says in the original Japanese.
    • vilator, on 06/10/2008, -3/+4FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!
    • Archer007, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1I didn't get it at first. He was a smartass...
    • Thunderpussy, on 06/10/2008, -1/+2I liked Vigo whoever from Ghostbusters 2 - "Death is but a door, time is but a window. I'll be back!"
    • poiuytrewq44, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1THIS ONE SHALL HAVE BALLS MADE FROM ***** GRANITE!
    • OniLynx, on 06/10/2008, -2/+1I think it's pretty sad when I read his quote "Now, my good man" and expected "what do you like to play?" to follow.
    • TheConman, on 06/10/2008, -8/+3. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _________
      . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./ It’s a trap!
      . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _,,,--~~~~~~~~--,_ . . . . ._________/
      . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,-‘ : : : :::: :::: :: : : : : :º ‘-, . . /. . . . . . . . . .
      . . . . . . . . . . . . .,-‘ :: : : :::: :::: :::: :::: : : :o : ‘-, . . . . . . . . . .
      . . . . . . . . . . . ,-‘ :: ::: :: : : :: :::: :::: :: : : : : :O ‘-, . . . . . . . . .
      . . . . . . . . . .,-‘ : :: :: :: :: :: : : : : : , : : :º :::: :::: ::’; . . . . . . . .
      . . . . . . . . .,-‘ / / : :: :: :: :: : : :::: :::-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ; . . . . . . . .
      . . . . . . . . /,-‘,’ :: : : : : : : : : :: :: :: : ‘-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;;| . . . . . . .
      . . . . . . . /,’,-‘ :: :: :: :: :: :: :: : ::_,-~~,_’-, ;; ;; ;; ;; | . . . . . . .
      . . . . . _/ :,’ :/ :: :: :: : : :: :: _,-‘/ : ,-‘;’-‘’’’’~-, ;; ;; ;;,’ . . . . . . . .
      . . . ,-‘ / : : : : : : ,-‘’’ : : :,--‘’ :|| /,-‘-‘--‘’’__,’’’ ;; ;,-‘ . . . . . . . .
      . . . :/,, : : : _,-‘ --,,_ : : : ||/ /,-‘-‘x### :: ;;/ . . . . . . . . . .
      . . . . / /---‘’’’ : # : : : : : | | : (O##º : :/ /-‘’ . . . . . . . . . . .
      . . . . /,’____ : : ‘-# : , : : : : ‘-,___,-‘,-`-,, . . . . . . . . . . .
      . . . . ‘ ) : : : :’’’’--,,--,,,,,,¯ :: ::--,,_’’-,,’’’¯ :’- :’-, . . . . . . . . .
      . . . . .) : : : : : : ,, : ‘’’’~~~~’ :: :: :: :’’’’’¯ :: ,-‘ :,/ . . . . . . . . .
      . . . . .,/ /|| | :/ / : : : : : : : ,’-, :: :: :: :: ::,--‘’ :,-‘ . . . . . . . .
      . . . . .’| |/ ‘/ / :: :_--,, : , | )’; :: :: :: :,-‘’ : ,-‘ : : : , . . . . . . .
      . . . ./¯ :| | : |/ :: ::----, :/ :|/ :: :: ,-‘’ : :,-‘ : : : : : : ‘’-,,_ . . . .
      . . ..| : : :/ ‘’-(, :: :: :: ‘’’’’~,,,,,’’ :: ,-‘’ : :,-‘ : : : : : : : : :,-‘’’ . . . .
      . ,-‘ : : : | : : ‘’) : : :¯’’’’~-,: : ,--‘’’ : :,-‘’ : : : : : : : : : ,-‘ :¯’’’’’-,_ .
      ./ : : : : :’-, :: | :: :: :: _,,-‘’’’¯ : ,--‘’ : : : : : : : : : : : / : : : : : : :’’-,
      / : : : : : -, :¯’’’’’’’’’’’¯ : : _,,-~’’ : : : : : : : : : : : : : :| : : : : : : : : :
      : : : : : : :¯’’~~~~~~’’’ : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : | : : : : : : : : :

      I'd say this beats em all.
  • mrpleco, on 06/09/2008, -14/+331"Hey fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? 'French Fries'"

    Badass.
    • dagnabbit, on 06/09/2008, -1/+21I've heard another one like that, with a serial killer whose last name was Apple. He said something like "Now you'll all get to smell baked Apple". Can't find a link to the quote though.
    • megamod, on 06/09/2008, -12/+1a dummy like him probably took a long time to come up with that one. wouldn't be very funny if you didn't know his last name though.
    • 471776, on 06/09/2008, -0/+66I heard a story about a death row inmate getting executed -

      Inmate: Has the Governor granted a stay in my execution?
      Warden: I'm afraid not.
      Inmate: Well, then tell that sonofabitch he's lost my vote.

      Then they executed him.
      • jc7012, on 06/10/2008, -3/+6Then they executed him? Thanks for that.

        I thought after a hearty chuckle they'd let him go for being so witty..
    • burnin8r28, on 06/09/2008, -2/+3that quote sounds really fimiliar...
  • Hobbes24, on 06/09/2008, -6/+235"There is ample debate as to whether these were his true final words. Luckily we here at Cracked have many internet-renowned historians who have scoured both articles on Wikipedia in working to confirm it."

    lmao.
    • synthoid, on 06/09/2008, -77/+2You Sir, are an EPIC FAIL/

      EVeryone know Wikipedia can be changed by anyone. Go play your PS3 little kid.
      • CZzyzx41, on 06/09/2008, -0/+14I'm looking at the diggs between the two of you and I only see one epic fail...that of an ignorant slack-jawed old man named synthoid.
      • vexxefx, on 06/09/2008, -0/+25Hahahaha, congrats on the stupidest reply i've read all year!
      • trntman, on 06/09/2008, -1/+5?
        • micflo, on 06/10/2008, -0/+5how does a ps3 get thrown into the conversation?
      • amirman, on 06/10/2008, -0/+4really!? wow! and i thought it was a JOKE!? you're so smart it hurts.
      • thh204, on 06/10/2008, -2/+1I hope synthoid doesn't play own a 360 for my sake.
      • dnields, on 07/24/2008, -0/+1Oh, sweet irony.
    • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -7/+1you sir are an EPIC know some funny ***** wi you see it/

      EVeryone know(s) that the comment that you pointed out from the article is hilaaarious.
      Go do what ever it is you do for fun...
  • redfred18t, on 06/09/2008, -3/+149"Once in a blue moon, God reaches down from his lofty perch, points at an infant boy and proclaims, 'This one shall have balls carved out of ***** granite.' Kit Carson was one such man."

    I wish I could have balls of granite :'(
    • theaceoffire, on 06/09/2008, -1/+53You must be stoned right now, you would only take them for granite.
      • shutaro, on 06/09/2008, -1/+37I don't know that I can second that sediment. I can't say for sure if he'd take them for granite, but it would definitely be a rocky road... You'd be in an entirely different strata from any other human being on earth.
        • richiewrt, on 06/09/2008, -1/+30Just imagine the sex though...

          clickity clack, clickity clack
        • ArielMT, on 06/10/2008, -1/+18How you grind is up to you; you won't find any quarry from me.
    • sfkit, on 06/09/2008, -1/+4my name is Kit - balls of steel
      • mcroyalty, on 06/12/2008, -0/+0balls balls balls balls balls balls
    • centran, on 06/09/2008, -1/+4Well I wish I was so much of a man that I gave birth to Chuck Norris by defecating him out.

      "From fur trapper, to wilderness guide, to frontier warrior, Kit Carson was so much man that he actually defecated Chuck Norris."
      • beargrylls, on 06/09/2008, -3/+9Good article until the Chuck Norris joke.
    • directrix13, on 06/09/2008, -3/+1If you had balls of granite, your nut sack would be dragging on the ground by now.
    • merreborn, on 06/10/2008, -1/+5I doubt any of your hypothetical sexual partners would appreciate the bruises.
    • anath47, on 06/10/2008, -5/+2You can tell you've got pansy balls, you're ever crying in your comment!

      Pansy balls.
  • MrWally, on 06/09/2008, -17/+8French Fries are delicious.
  • mentallyinhell, on 06/09/2008, -3/+42No time to be making enemies? Easily the best of them.
    • daRoach, on 06/09/2008, -2/+43Not badass, but Pancho Villa easily had the best last words, unable to think of anything, utters "It can't end like this. Tell them I said something."
  • papipablo, on 06/09/2008, -12/+4Mmm chili. . . .
  • jakash, on 06/09/2008, -38/+562"***** IT! WE'LL DO IT LIVE!"
  • jakash, on 06/09/2008, -21/+118"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something..." - Pancho Villa
    • gryphon50, on 06/09/2008, -3/+15I was going to mention this one. Very sad that he didn't think up something beforehand.
    • Licurgo, on 06/10/2008, -0/+0ahhhh sorry *****
      he doesnt say that he was brutally murdered on his car he cant say anything
  • jakash, on 06/09/2008, -35/+361"Buried as lame" are going to be MrBabyMan's last words...
    • malex, on 06/09/2008, -3/+64More of a eulogy, really.
    • ohstoopid1, on 06/09/2008, -2/+83Well done sir, I say it would fit better on a tombstone though.
      • jakash, on 06/09/2008, -2/+26Wow, that's harsh, but genius funny
      • AmICoolNow, on 06/09/2008, -1/+9I would so have that on my tombstone.
      • diggrnumber1, on 06/09/2008, -2/+1best tombstone inscription (see top):

        http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/63/Zent ...

        apparently, the formula also was what caused his death by leading him to commit suicide.

        either way, writing a chemistry formula on your tombstone = win.
        • kitsua, on 06/10/2008, -1/+3Sorry, but best tombstone inscription goes to Spike Milligan;

          "I told you I was ill"
      • ligyron, on 06/10/2008, -1/+9And his son's tombstone will read, "Buried as duplicate"?
      • oldcrows40, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1show of hands whose getting it.
    • gaapgod, on 06/09/2008, -5/+20I'm pretty sure that MrBabyMan has risen to a level of immortality through Digg that none of us will soon achieve. I mean, I can't even get on a thread without someone bashing him. Maybe he should run from President!
    • ligyron, on 06/10/2008, -1/+10Everyone hates MrBabyMan because he is so universally liked
      • Marijuana, on 06/10/2008, -5/+2More like everyone hates MrBabyMan because he's so universally hated.
        • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -1/+4yes he gets all his stories to the front page because eeeeveryone hates him... mmhmm... gocha...
    • ithejosh, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1Wow that is the most amazing burn in the history of digg.
  • jakash, on 06/09/2008, -40/+14"I am not the least afraid to die." - Charles Darwin, d. April 19, 1882
  • jakash, on 06/09/2008, -29/+221"Last words are for fools who haven't said enough." - Karl Marx
    • PhoenixAvatar2, on 06/09/2008, -5/+116Did you really feel the need to post five comments in a row?
      • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -1/+2woulda been six if not for Fhwqhgads... damn it Fhwqhgads... coulda been the longest comment streak ever... and you ***** it up
      • jakash, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Sorry, but you know, diggers like me go to desperate measures these days to get popular...
    • CrashProof, on 06/09/2008, -1/+53The full quote:

      "Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough."
      - Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883

      Backstory:
      To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
      • BlackX4Life, on 06/10/2008, -3/+4isnt that a contradiction since it turned out to be his last words?
        • lamiaconfitor, on 06/10/2008, -0/+11no he probably said something when she left the room, just to spite her.
    • drachemorder, on 06/09/2008, -28/+8"Last words are for fools who haven't said enough."

      Appropriate, considering that Marx was a fool who had said far too much.
      • Ramble, on 06/09/2008, -5/+2Why?
      • McRofl, on 06/09/2008, -3/+11Apparently you sir, are a fool, a fool who doesn't get, nor deserve to get what Marx ment by this and many other things he said. GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR.

      • solistus, on 06/09/2008, -2/+6I call *****. Explain one major argument Marx made. The number of people who arrogantly dismiss Marx based on their bizarre and stupid misreadings is astounding.

        Newsflash: Marx did not say the communist revolution was inevitable, and if you haven't read Hegel (or at least his discussion of Hegel) then you probably have absolutely no idea what the dialectic actually means.
      • amirman, on 06/10/2008, -3/+1your an idiot. in other news, this is the coolest mark quote ever. "philosophy is in relation to the real world as masturbation to sex"
      • drachemorder, on 06/10/2008, -3/+1Wow. Judging by the negative diggs on my post, Digg must be fairly infested with Communists!
        That would explain why there are so many Obama supporters here.
        • solistus, on 06/10/2008, -1/+3*gasp* OH EM GEE COMMUNISTS!

          Keep blowing off the entire Marxist school of thought based on your own ignorance. You don't need to read classic works to have scathing opinions of them, right?
    • mchugh22, on 06/10/2008, -9/+5I was thinking that. Long live communism.
  • Fhwqhgads, on 06/09/2008, -10/+2Carl Panzram had the best one.
  • jakash, on 06/09/2008, -26/+159A few of my other favourites are:

    "I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring." - Richard Feynman
    "Last words are for fools who haven't said enough." - Karl Marx
    "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something..." - Pancho Villa
    "I am not the least afraid to die." - Charles Darwin
    "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard." - Sir Donald Wolfit
    • theaceoffire, on 06/09/2008, -2/+102Not that these are bad, but could you please post all of them into one post in the future?
      • jakash, on 06/09/2008, -3/+28Sorry, I did get a bit carried away
        • Nekiruhs, on 06/10/2008, -1/+11I envy your luck. 5 posts in a row, and all of them get Dugg *way* up.
        • Filipp0, on 06/10/2008, -1/+4Yes, now his e-penis has reached the stars.
    • 10scott10, on 06/09/2008, -1/+3I love feynman
    • whorunbartertwn, on 06/10/2008, -1/+2"I've always loved you" - neo nazi from Blues Brothers as car is about to proceed downward at high rate of speed.
  • duggtodeath, on 06/09/2008, -14/+95"I take you bullets -- I still standing!"
    - Tony Montana
    • tenspeedogbb, on 06/09/2008, -4/+49I think this article was more geared toward people who actually existed.
    • MSstar, on 06/09/2008, -3/+23You wanna ***** with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay
      • Khanvalescent, on 06/10/2008, -2/+1Only you got a look in your eye like you haven't been ***** in a year!
    • monkeyangst, on 06/09/2008, -1/+2In terms of fictional last words, I'll take Edward Woodward's in Breaker Morant: "Shoot straight you bastards, don't make a mess of it!" (said, like many of the real-life examples in this list, to his executioners).
      • monkeyangst, on 06/10/2008, -0/+0Oops. Turns out the historical Breaker Morant's last words really were thus. How'd he get left off this list?
    • burnin8r28, on 06/09/2008, -1/+3i was so quick to correct you on "you bullets" and then I was dissapointed when i saw who said it.
  • Oztog, on 06/09/2008, -7/+14Ned Kelly (Infamous Australian outlaw) - "Such is life" ... aka ***** happens
    • Commodore84, on 06/09/2008, -0/+15Thanks for the explanation. I had never heard such a strange saying before.
    • Ryvenn, on 06/09/2008, -0/+4Everyone only ever quotes the last bit. I think the first bit is very important in putting across how he felt his fate had been pushed on him because of a long drawn out feud (the police had wronged him to start with, the police in Glenrowan were very racist towards the Irish).

      "So it has come to this. Such is life."
  • angusm, on 06/09/2008, -1/+141My personal favorite comes from the cockpit voice recorder of an airliner . Reportedly, the co-pilot's last recorded words in the final seconds before impact were: "This one is going to suck big-time."

    I haven't been able to find out which flight it was, but I'm sure the full story is out there somewhere on the Interwebs.
    • JustLoren, on 06/09/2008, -15/+1And you're incapable of providing a link ... why?
      • terracottapai, on 06/10/2008, -1/+11Got a short attention span, do we?
        "I haven't been able to find out which flight it was, but I'm sure the full story is out there somewhere on the Interwebs."
      • scyform, on 06/10/2008, -1/+9***** you, that's why.
    • jlungu, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3I think it was the flight out of Reagan that crashed into the Potomac.
      • terracottapai, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Nope.

        16:01:00 CAM-2 Larry, we're going down, Larry....

        16:01:01 CAM-1 I know it.

        16:01:01 [SOUND OF IMPACT]
  • SmooveO, on 06/09/2008, -15/+302My most famous last words: "I do."
    • curlyxcracker, on 06/09/2008, -15/+3Oh So True, my man!
    • Zipko, on 06/09/2008, -4/+50"I am" is the shortest sentence in the English language. Is it possible "I do" is the longest?

      /Carlin
      • slicedoranges, on 06/10/2008, -1/+7I'd probably find that funnier if the shortest sentence in the English language weren't actually "Go."
  • BoonTobias, on 06/09/2008, -15/+2Al Bundy: Blah!
  • dildoolielly, on 06/09/2008, -54/+7► Dying Marine's last words:

    "Damn you, GEORGE AWOL ***** CHICKENHAWK COWARD BUSH!"
  • Hetman, on 06/09/2008, -7/+31I will not say it is the most bad ass of quotes before dying. But a guitar player from the band chicago was messing around with his gun. His last words were "Do not worry its not loaded." He was wrong.
    • PabloMac, on 06/09/2008, -0/+42That's not badass, that's dumbass.
  • ScottRTL, on 06/09/2008, -7/+4I better start thinking of something right now...So I can go on v2 of this post...
    • eyepatch100, on 06/09/2008, -0/+18"Tell your wife I love her..."
    • smpx, on 06/09/2008, -0/+3I think you also have to have accomplished something newsworthy...and have someone there to record it.
      • ScottRTL, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2Well...yeah. But I might as well get half of it done now...
  • whiterice0, on 06/09/2008, -64/+128"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

    "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

    "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."

    "It is done."
    • matt4836, on 06/09/2008, -101/+114Fiction doesn't count.
      • Harabeck, on 06/09/2008, -25/+58The New Testament is largely a historical account. Any historian, regardless of religious affiliation will tell you Jesus existed, preached and traveled as described in the Bible and was executed by crucifiction. Several different accounts put these words in Jesus's mouth, and as such are probably true quotes.
        • matt4836, on 06/09/2008, -15/+4You are right, see you Sunday.

          http://zeitgeistmovie.com/
        • burkay, on 06/09/2008, -11/+20How can you claim that "any" historian will confirm the execution by crucifixion, when the only existing supporting document is the new testament itself? Accepting the authenticity and correctness of the new testament is a pre-requisite for assuming the crucifixion.
        • Petrushka72, on 06/09/2008, -10/+11"The New Testament is largely a historical account"
          You've mixed up "Old" and "New".
          * The "old testament" is a mixed bag of flying-high-as-a-kite-prophecy, poems, and historical texts spliced with bits of myth.
          * The "new testament" is a mixed bag of completely flying-high-as-a-kite-prophecy (Revelation), pastoral letters with lots of moral guidance but no historical information (all the letters), wholly mythologised versions of one person's biography (the gospels), and Acts, which is the only text that comes within a stone's throw of having historical content.
        • SpencerMc, on 06/09/2008, -11/+6Um. You are either a liar or mistaken.
          There are no period documents that mention Jesus, the closest being over 100 years after in the Testimonium Flavianum by Josephus and the Annals by Tacitus, both of which are of dubious authenticity with the former generally being regarded as an outright forgery.
        • SpencerMc, on 06/10/2008, -2/+7Ha, digg me down to oblivion if you like, it doesn't change that there are no reliable secular accounts that mention the existence of Jesus. The only writings that mention him are those by Christians. And while people can throw around what scholars agree on (which is not true in itself, there are a significant number of dissenters) it's all ad verecundiam and ad populum. What it comes down to is whether you believe a person who allegedly caused such a stir that people lined the streets to wave palms at him upon his entrance to Jerusalem would totally escape any sort of recorded history until 40 years after his death, and even then only by people that had the intent of forming a religion around him.
          I have nothing against Christians or Christianity. I think the majority of the teachings attributed to Jesus are great lessons we should all take to heart. And if he did exist, he was a pretty cool guy. But claiming that there is undisputed proof of his existence is incorrect and intellectually dishonest.
      • McRofl, on 06/09/2008, -16/+3well in that manner you can claim that there is some sort of historical relevance in Harry Potter, because in 2000 years they may not believe that we drove in cars, or that people had phones and other devices that were talked about in the book, so by this logic you should worship Harry.

        and p.s. if this were the case u would've already have an avada kedavra coming towards you when i read your post.
    • mayhemchaos, on 06/09/2008, -29/+56that _should have_ made the top spot...but *most* digger and people in general hate religion, jesus, god...
      • arrrapirate, on 06/09/2008, -8/+18why "should" it have made top spot?
        • mayhemchaos, on 06/09/2008, -18/+5self explanatory.
        • Raptor007, on 06/09/2008, -4/+18No, it isn't.
        • drachemorder, on 06/09/2008, -4/+27Because regardless of your religious affiliation, forgiving the people who just tortued you to death by one of the most painful means ever devised takes some massive character.
        • Nidy1, on 06/10/2008, -1/+4But it probably isn't accurate.
        • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2yes... i don't like him... so I'm going to claim he didn't exist... or say the things he said... you sir... are dumb as rocks... non-christians around the world agree that he existed... they don't agree that he was God (in human form)...

          you can either claim he was a complete and utter fool for thinking he was God... or you can believe him... but claiming he didn't exist... or that he existed as a great teacher but wasn't God are out of the question...lest you too want to be thought of as a fool
        • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2Jesus was a badass... well... in a good sort of way... try forgiving someone while they torture you to death... oh... and lets not forget that the murderer next to him totally reemed out his buddy on the other side for even thinking of making fun of him. Thats your best pall who you have been going around as a revolutionary with, killing lots of Romans... and you are taking sides with the stranger... damn... Jesus was a badass
      • Zipko, on 06/09/2008, -9/+5I only hate them because it pisses you off. Otherwise I'd just be apathetic.
      • JustFender, on 06/09/2008, -3/+6i don't hate religion, jesus or god, i embrace religion i just don't believe in jesus or god. And when did love and forgiveness become badass?
        • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1try it... you'll find it near impossible to forgive someone that is crucifing you! Its not like getting hanged or shot! He forgave them while hanging from the cross... have you ever thought how much pain you are in while haning from the cross... you can't breath untill you push yourself up... on a nail thats going right through your ancle/feet.

          Heck most of those quotes from the article i bet the guys were scared as hell... were killers or revolutionaries in complete control... now backed up against a wall and about to die... ANYONE would try and say something cool or witty just to spite the people that are about to kill them...
      • amirman, on 06/10/2008, -6/+2how is it bad ass to basically say "WAHH WAhHH!!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS To ME!!!????/" YOU ***** ME OVER DAD!!! WAHH WAHH' oh yeah that's badass.
      • catbeller, on 06/10/2008, -2/+2Saying that something isn't true isn't "hate". You're reaching into the hate bucket mostly because there are laws about hate speech in many places. Scientology started that crap.

        Excuse me, I must go hate the guy down the hall. He told me that Conan O'Brien was on at midnight tonight instead of 11:30. I will pile my loathing upon him as I mention he was not correct. God. How I hate him and all he represents.
    • Hetman, on 06/09/2008, -9/+30There is a big difference between hating Jesus/religion and hating God. One can believe that religion is has a negative aspect on society, but they still believe that there is a God.
      • lioneljaffry, on 06/09/2008, -3/+7Fine by me, but unless we're wasted down the pub past closing time, I don't want to hear about it.
      • catbeller, on 06/10/2008, -6/+1Belief in a god is religion, even if you made it up yourself.
        • Zephik, on 06/10/2008, -1/+2Really? Well I believe in a god. What religion am I?

          Belief in a god is a belief.

          "A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader." - Definition of "Religion".

          I see no "or" in there, do you?
      • webwulf, on 06/10/2008, -3/+1If you look at what god did, he did worse than all of those people that are pretty much universally hated. Good thing god is just pretend.
    • jezsik, on 06/09/2008, -8/+16So, uh, which one of these four was it?
      • parkskier, on 06/09/2008, -0/+3Jesus said all of those while on the cross, just before His death. However, the last words, before dying on the cross were: "It is finished" or "It is done" depend on which Bible translation you use.
      • thh204, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2I don't know if you were serious but i lol'd
    • malex, on 06/09/2008, -10/+27Didn't he come back? That's hardly last words, much less badass.

      And Jezsik is right... which Gospel has the _actual_ last words?
    • LeRenard, on 06/09/2008, -3/+4I thought it was "Eloi Eloi lama sabacthani?"
      • gaapgod, on 06/09/2008, -0/+4That's Aramaic for "'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me".

        http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/aud ...

        Christians believe that God the Father had to turn from Jesus in spirit during the time he took all the sins of past, present and future upon himself and die as a mortal man.
        • gaapgod, on 06/09/2008, -0/+1Link above also answers the question of which Gospel records the quasi-"last words" of Jesus: Luke.
        • zeebo, on 06/10/2008, -4/+4Why? The guy is all powerful, and in whose book is sin a damning crime? His own. If he was going to forgive everyones sins, couldn't he have just gone ahead and done it? Who was he trying to impress anyway?
        • webwulf, on 06/10/2008, -2/+2The whole thing sounds kind of silly, doesn't it?
        • GaidinTS, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3Think about it, if you're an all powerful omnipotent god, how do you get the creatures you created that have completely free will to love and respect you.

          You become them, and go through the worst imaginable torment to show them you love them, and you'd do anything for them.

          It's makes sense to me, but I suppose to have to believe in an omnipotent god first.
    • KillerBears, on 06/09/2008, -11/+6because those totally qualify as "badass"
    • pigducksheep, on 06/09/2008, -4/+3"Woman here is your son. Son here is your mother"
    • makis, on 06/10/2008, -6/+1he knew he was going to resurrect 3 days later... far too easy

      for every religious radical out there
      this is called irony
  • Pallwaan, on 06/09/2008, -10/+3Some humorous quotes here, however how much of them are actually true, most of them seem like pure myth to me. Nonetheless, a great collection.
  • matt4836, on 06/09/2008, -19/+8"Let's ask that basketball team for directions"
  • mwaleed86, on 06/09/2008, -15/+1"***** YOU" - unknown
  • sfrench, on 06/09/2008, -1/+250"hey guys, watch this" - many darwin award candidates
    • arrrapirate, on 06/09/2008, -1/+61"hey, hold my beer while i try something"
    • TheMidnight, on 06/09/2008, -2/+6"Hold my sign, I don't wanna lose it."
  • freqhz, on 06/09/2008, -8/+2 "screw you and your shotgun ! "
  • dracostimpy, on 06/09/2008, -2/+291"My favorite color is blue. No! YELLOW!"
    • lukemandese, on 06/09/2008, -8/+5hah where is that from, it sounds really familiar.
      • JCDenton513, on 06/09/2008, -0/+11Monty Python and the Holy Grail
      • CraigKostelecky, on 06/09/2008, -0/+13I'll give you a hint.

        Is that an African or European swallow?
      • TheMidnight, on 06/09/2008, -3/+24It's from Sex and the City.
        • WallnutBoy, on 06/10/2008, -1/+2Man that film rocks, and I urge any digger to go and see it.. You won't be disappointed.

          Edit: No sarcasm whatsoevah!
      • ncapone, on 06/10/2008, -0/+4More like "Yell-ooooooooooooooooooo"
    • jstearns, on 06/09/2008, -1/+11The bridge scene in the Holy Grail, where they have to answer three questions.
    • aguynamedjoe36, on 06/09/2008, -1/+4Monty Python and the holy Grail. the scene where they are asked 3 questions to cross a bridge. the same scene as the African swallow bit..
  • Jrepass, on 06/09/2008, -12/+4No way is this Digg wor-AAHHHH!
  • BuRa, on 06/09/2008, -7/+81Et tu Brute? - Caesar
    • ModestMoby, on 06/09/2008, -6/+8Actually, the Roman upper class were snooty bastards that liked to use Greek at dramatic moments. He probably said "kai su teknon;"
      • Harabeck, on 06/09/2008, -0/+34Ya except drama was the last thing on his mind, he was a little more concerned with his best friend about to stab him.
      • Linake, on 06/09/2008, -2/+12You're not really all that modest, are you Moby?
      • pigducksheep, on 06/09/2008, -1/+18you're THAT guy.
      • siandt, on 06/10/2008, -0/+0Teknon? Ancient Greek fail.
    • mcomfort, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2Not at all badass, if you ask me. A little sad, maybe, but not badass.
    • ClockworksNine, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1I thought he said: "They too will come for you!"
  • BryanG412, on 06/09/2008, -9/+36"That's what she said" - Michael from the office
    • bravo1995, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2Oh, is he the guy who says that? Thanks for the clarification.
  • Peck3277, on 06/09/2008, -11/+69FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!! - Mel Gibson ;)
    • TheShom, on 06/10/2008, -1/+6You mean Braveheart, right?
      Last time i checked, Mel Gibson's still alive
      • amirman, on 06/10/2008, -0/+10Braveheart? you mean William Wallace, right?
        Last time i checked, Braveheart was the name of the movie.
      • TheShom, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2Touche amirman, touche.
    • WilliamDecker, on 06/10/2008, -0/+7"What do you think you're looking at, sugar *****?" - Mel Gibson
  • HyperJack, on 06/09/2008, -14/+14Karl Marx - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
    Best last words ever
    • amirman, on 06/10/2008, -3/+1"I am not a Marxist" - Karl Marx
      • amirman, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2he really said this and the context is awesome. he was referring to the fact that his ideas were being manipulated and perverted to begin to form the soviet union which he was actually very against. he is also known for saying that "democracy is the road to socialism", does that sound like the authoritarian soviet union? hell no and so his response to this whole fiasco was "i am not a Marxist" as Marxism had come to mean something other than the social and economic ideas he wrote about.
  • Technohamster, on 06/09/2008, -15/+6"Tell my wife...I'm gay..."
  • Honeyblade, on 06/09/2008, -0/+21Dugg for Tallulah Bankhead, I'm kind of in love with her too.
    • mayra1201, on 06/09/2008, -4/+5if we could have signatures under our comments, mine would be "codeine... bourbon"
  • clemsontigers, on 06/09/2008, -0/+13For those with lame office filters like mine...(only first half)

    http://duggmirror.com/odd_stuff/The_11_Most_Badass ...
  • Acglaphotis, on 06/09/2008, -1/+8"Send me out... with a bang" -Sergeant Major Avery Johnson
  • s4g4n, on 06/09/2008, -4/+8French Fries, Genius.
  • BoonTobias, on 06/09/2008, -3/+4Diana: hawomph!
  • GoatmealCrisp, on 06/09/2008, -0/+8What, no "Crito, we owe a ***** to Aesculapius"?
    • eosp, on 06/09/2008, -1/+3That's not badass enough. Although I'm more surprised that other diggers exist who are well-read enough to hit Plato.
    • Petrushka72, on 06/09/2008, -0/+2I agree, that's at least as good as Voltaire's. Only less cynical, which I suppose could be a criterion. Voltaire: "I'm completely amoral and don't give a toss about you or your religion"; Socrates: "Death is a blessing, so thank the gods when it comes". I dunno, they're both pretty good.
    • philberttheduck, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Truly badass. (thanks philosophy 1)
  • yacks, on 06/09/2008, -1/+17Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well--let 'em wait.
    ~ Ethan Allen, American Revolutionary general, d. 1789

    That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.
    ~ Lou Costello, comedian, d. March 3, 1959
  • benzzene, on 06/09/2008, -0/+56"Shoot straight, you bastards! Don't make a mess of it!" - Breaker Morant to his firing squad. He refused to wear a blindfold.
    • mhummel, on 06/10/2008, -0/+0"Well Peter, this is what comes of empire building"
    • Akaricloud, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1The Aussie who got executed during the Boar war? (sorry, thats probably not how "Boar" is actually spelled)
  • lolcatzz, on 06/09/2008, -7/+10I think we all know the most badass words of all time:

    "I don't want no part of your tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch!"

    Oh, Franklin...
    • sanderscm2, on 06/09/2008, -0/+5the turtle?
      • zman1117, on 06/09/2008, -0/+5franklin bluth
        • pigducksheep, on 06/09/2008, -0/+1not the turtle
        • ltchimpo, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1It ain't eaasaay being white. It ain't eeeasssay being white
        • lolcatzz, on 06/10/2008, -0/+0it ain't easy being white, it ain't easy being brown,
          all this pressure to be bright, I GOT KIDS ALL OVER TOWN

          ...hey, where'd he go?
    • bravo1995, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2Benjamin Franklin?
    • CurlyFoot, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2GOB's puppet?? Hells yes!!
  • Ragzouken, on 06/09/2008, -0/+51"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!"
  • plethorex, on 06/09/2008, -1/+11I'd love to see a list of all the people who have died, and as their last words, said, "What's this button do?"
  • MatthewDuke, on 06/09/2008, -11/+9How about "Hey man, watch this...hold my beer..." - every hillbilly who has won a Darwin award
  • danielrh9, on 06/09/2008, -4/+93I hope this isn't seen as disrespectful or anything, but...

    Around a year and a half ago, one of my old high school buddies was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was the sort of guy who was a friend to anyone he ever met, but unfortunately was also the sort who would try any sort of stupid stunt without an ounce of fear. He had ridden his bike to a BBQ at a friends house, and was about to leave that night. He attempted to do a wheelie but lost control and was thrown head first into a large oak tree, basically turning his entire spinal cord into a slinky.

    And before this happened, his last words were actually "Hey 'yall, watch this". He was already known as a likable guy and a risk taker, but his early demise at the age of 20 left him (for better or worse) as an immortal badass.
    • fuze44, on 06/09/2008, -0/+39Sorry about your friend. I have a feeling that he joins a multitude whose last words were "Watch this!"

    • Haoie, on 06/09/2008, -0/+24Well, sorry for your loss.

      But at least his memory lives on. On Digg, no less.
    • TheMidnight, on 06/09/2008, -0/+32Now he rides around in black leather with a flaming skull and a gigantic chain staring into the eyes of the evil.
    • samscomputer2, on 06/10/2008, -3/+6RIP
    • ltchimpo, on 06/10/2008, -4/+2musta done a lot of bad ass things... before hitting 20.
      • djcreamy, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1or before hitting the oak tree. LOL.
    • djcreamy, on 06/10/2008, -15/+5Pics or it didn't happen.
  • Jsmuli2, on 06/09/2008, -2/+77"If I don't survive this, tell my wife I said 'Hello'."
  • provost, on 06/09/2008, -0/+114my only regret ... is that I have... bone-itis!
    • ajchavar, on 06/09/2008, -0/+30"with my last breath, i curse ZOIDBERG!"
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