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Teen Plots to Kill Jesus

cnn.com — Federal authorities say a South Carolina teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus.

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  • DeathWish808, on 04/30/2008, -9/+523WTF?! LOL. If you believe in God and Jesus then how in the infinity of all things do you think you could accomplish that?!
    • roodammy44, on 04/30/2008, -16/+228Exactly, everyone knows Jesus held off the Roman army with an AK47 - this kid would be toast
      • peterapokotos, on 04/30/2008, -8/+45Damn communist Jesus!
      • flintmecha, on 04/30/2008, -16/+6I ***** laughed my ass off. +9001 diggs.
      • unique172, on 04/30/2008, -0/+23In Paradise Lost, Milton has Jesus riding a flaming chariot and throwing thunderbolts. That's the old-school AK-47.
      • BoneheadFarker, on 04/30/2008, -0/+7Don't forget that he had Moses' help too...
      • humperdeath, on 04/30/2008, -1/+29What a maroon! Even if he was able to kill Jesus, He'd only rise up again and be more powerful than before. Jesus the White!
        • Daveecee, on 04/30/2008, -12/+5Racist.
        • jgtg32a, on 04/30/2008, -2/+2eh What's up doc
        • craigydbuzzbitt, on 04/30/2008, -0/+7But i thought Jesus was a white man from Oxford? :P
        • sovietninja, on 04/30/2008, -0/+9Daveecee:

          WHOOOOOOSH!

          It was a reference to the Lord of the Rings, when Gandalf the Grey "dies" and comes back more powerful as Gandalf the White!
          • Laxaloot, on 05/01/2008, -0/+3The way he phrased it reminds me of star wars and obi wan as well. so kind of a two for one geek masterpiece of a comment lol
          • humperdeath, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Correct - a- mundo! LOTR reference is the correct answer!
        • bstew22, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1does he actually "die?" (gandalf is the one in question... not jesus)
          • sovietninja, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1No, hence the quotes,aka, "dies". If he really died and came back he would be a zombie OM NOM NOM NOM hobbit brainz.
      • championchap, on 04/30/2008, -11/+3***** RAPTOR JESUS!!
      • bstew22, on 05/01/2008, -0/+4I like lil baby jesus the best.
      • dieskiddy, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2You are a legend.
    • EarlOfLade, on 04/30/2008, -58/+24Well, considering that all religion is made up *****, we can clearly see how dangerous religion is.

      I bet none of you can even tell me what a god is, only what attributes you put on it.
      • badenglishihave, on 04/30/2008, -11/+49A god is something/somebody you worship. There, was that so hard?

        BTW you can't describe anything without listing its attributes.
        • Murdats, on 04/30/2008, -2/+20so if I could find someone to worship me would that make me a god?
          • badenglishihave, on 04/30/2008, -1/+16Yes, it would actually. Being a 'god,' in its strictest definition, doesn't necessarily mean you need to be supernatural. People just need to BELIEVE you are. Even in the bible, ridiculous 'gods' are mentioned. There were several people who invented gods for themselves and worshiped them.
          • Murdats, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2that means I would be percieved as a god, whether that would make me a god depends on the definition of the word.
            "any supernatural being worshipped as controlling some part of the world or some aspect of life or who is the personification of a force"
            so no, it would not make me a god, I would just be percieved and worshipped as such.
          • EarlOfLade, on 04/30/2008, -17/+2That was not an answer to what a god is.
            Is it made of flesh and blood> Bones? Does it have a brain? Does it talk? two legs Four? Six? What does it eat? Does it burp? Can it fly?
            Does it have eyes?

            See, you have no idea what a god is..
          • Rhendal, on 04/30/2008, -1/+9Gods have to look like something? I didn't realize that definition only related to physical appearance. What if the God they're talking about does not have a physical appearance and is ethereal?

            Oh, there's a good answer for your questions there. God is ethereal, so that would be a no to all of those questions. There I defined it.

            People define God by his actions, not his looks. Try taking your mind outside of the box every now and then. It'll enjoy the fresh air and the view.
          • EarlOfLade, on 04/30/2008, -13/+2@Rhendal:
            *****.
            This is what you imagine it to e, you have no idea what is, do you?

            If ther eis a god, no multiple man made definitions should be necessary. Besides, how can this etheral (whatever that is) walk on the Earth as the bible states?

            Just admit it, you have no clue what a god really is.
            All you have, is a fantasy.
          • BoneheadFarker, on 04/30/2008, -1/+3@EarlOfLade

            You believe the events in the bible really happened the way it's written and say we're the ones with the fantasy?
          • MikeEric, on 04/30/2008, -1/+10@EarlOfLade

            What is a digg user? Is it male/female, white/black/asian/latino/etc., Christian, Jewish, agnostic, annoying tool (referring to you of course)...

            Just admit it, you have no life, and maybe you should go back into your troll cave.
            Or better yet, take a page out of Ryan Schallenberger's book and let us know what god is when you get there.
        • logan074, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2To that person.
      • luckyguy2000, on 04/30/2008, -5/+15a funny thing is that certain christian religions say that the bible predicts the complete ban on all religions by the governments in the future which marks the first phase of the great tribulation.
        • sodade, on 04/30/2008, -10/+7Sounds to me like it would be the beginning of a much belated evolutionary spurt.
        • directrix13, on 04/30/2008, -2/+3@sodade:
          If by evolutionary you mean how you would all be killed in a holy war thereby allowing religion to live on. Then yes.
        • AckTheCat, on 04/30/2008, -0/+5That's not entirely accurate. *Some* interpretations of end time events describe a forced conversion to a single, state-sanctioned religion with the current world ruler as its focus of worship. All those who refuse to worship the new self-styled 'god' are put to death, atheists included.
      • clockdist, on 04/30/2008, -0/+6If he didn't have religion, the crazy nut would find another reason to blow up his HS.
        "He's just plain crazy."
        • Murdats, on 04/30/2008, -6/+1actually they have found that those who feel what they do is morally justified are more likely to do something 'bad'
          so if religion didnt provide the moral justification for people to commit bad acts, some would still commit them (they do atm for non religious purposes) but you wouldnt have that happening on a large scale (eg. the crusades)
          • Infidelephant, on 04/30/2008, -2/+4"Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion."

            Steven Weinberg
            Nobel Laureate in physics
          • eosp, on 04/30/2008, -4/+5"When it comes to the origin of life on this earth, there are only two possibilities: creation or spontaneous generation (DME). There is no third way. Spontaneous generation was disproved 100 years ago, but that leads us only to one other conclusion: that of supernatural creation. We cannot accept that on philosophical grounds; therefore, we choose to believe the impossible: that life arose spontaneously by chance."

            George Wald
            Nobel Laureate in medicine
            Harvard professor
          • BoneheadFarker, on 04/30/2008, -0/+0@eosp

            That still doesn't justify religion.
          • Murdats, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1@eosp
            so you're saying that a jewish man who is a professor in medicine is an expert in abiogenisis?
            I have no doubt he is intelligent, but I would postulate that his position is one of opinion and not of evidence, especially if a now dead scientist based this opinion on something 100 years before his time ie. very out of date.

            also abiogenisis has nothing to do with the moral values religion places upon people.
      • griz, on 04/30/2008, -1/+9When you say "made up" I presume you mean defined by individuals to be within the scope of reality. So define reality. Otherwise my friend, your existence might be called into question as well.
      • lodeswrath, on 05/01/2008, -1/+0god is a powerful being, made up of flesh and bones (no blood. why? not known), who looks like man (we are made in his image). How did he come to be? not known. why is he the shape he is? not known. how does he weild what we percieve to be "supernatural" powers? not known. all i know is that He exists and looks like us. why are we here then? well, go look it up. this is all LDS (mormon) theology. go to wikipedia or mormon.org to answer those questions.
    • glock22ownr, on 04/30/2008, -8/+38"Federal authorities say a South Carolina teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus."

      Well you can't knock him for goal setting... he's got hiiiiigggghhhh hopes ! Only problem I see with his plan is that if he kills a bunch of people he's not going to heaven... well that and the mass murder ...
      • dmsean, on 04/30/2008, -19/+15since when has mass murder been against the bible? God is *all about* the mass murder.
        • lastoftheidiots, on 05/01/2008, -1/+3Hey, this man's got a point. Ever hear of Sodom? How about Gomorrah? If not, they were cities. God destroyed them. With meteors. Oh, and how about that guy Elijah. That SOB killed over 300 Baalites after proving his god was better. Some of that Old Testament stuff is pretty sweet.
        • woody56292, on 05/01/2008, -2/+1Not to mention he had them mauled.... with bears!!!!
        • lodeswrath, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1Murder, in the bible, is a mortal killing another mortal when not in the case of war or execution, or without God's sanction. Sodom was destroyed by God. He is not mortal. Elijah killed on God's command. Thus, both are justified in the eyes of the Bible as not being murder (as the Bible defines murder)
          • Loonacy, on 05/01/2008, -0/+3Because we all know that the commandment REALLY says "Thou shalt not murder, unless I tell you to."
          • lodeswrath, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0That is a direct contradiction of the Bible's use of the term "murder". You are using YOUR definition of the term, not the one I stated to be the Bible's representation. According to what I had said, "unless I tell you to" is implicit. Please read your comments more carefully next time.
      • cawpin, on 04/30/2008, -2/+16"Only problem I see with his plan is that if he kills a bunch of people he's not going to heaven... well that and the mass murder ..."

        Being a murderer doesn't keep you out of heaven.
        • superkendall, on 04/30/2008, -6/+6Buddy, whatever religion you are in - you need to get out before they start strapping the orange vest on you.
          • Ramble, on 04/30/2008, -2/+14Seriously, as long as you accept Jesus as your saviour then you're going to heaven. Crazy stuff.
          • lodeswrath, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0@ Ramble--Not according to all Christians. Seriously, why do people lump all Christians together? There are many variations of Christian belief. We are not all the same.
      • chall85, on 04/30/2008, -1/+3but if he killed Jesus, he'd be killing God, and then he'd be God, don't you see?
        • Laxaloot, on 05/01/2008, -0/+3are you implying that God's immortality works in the same way as santa from the movie The Santa Clause?
    • vdgmr1213, on 04/30/2008, -6/+38It would only top it off if he was Jewish. Dear god, I think I would fall over laughing until i cried. Maybe thats the South Park fan in me though...
      • British0zzy, on 04/30/2008, -0/+7only mormons go to heaven
      • bennyb123, on 04/30/2008, -1/+6dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
      • CurlyMike139125, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Everyone knows Japanese people don't have souls!
    • tillerman00, on 04/30/2008, -12/+5Reckon dat boy gon' be tanglin' wit Ol' Scratch 'fore anythin' else. My, my.

      ?
      • modex, on 04/30/2008, -0/+4dugg for Preacher
      • tillerman00, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Wooeee bahs! They's a-diggin' me down now! Yessir, they's jes a-waitin fer more o' that downhome dialect yuz all love.
    • SharkyTech, on 04/30/2008, -11/+6Well, obviously: FAITH CONQUERS ALL.
      • bosssmiley, on 04/30/2008, -2/+16Except gravity, or cancer, or...
        • lamiaconfitor, on 04/30/2008, -1/+9I think he was being sarcastic. but I plan on going to heaven so I can kill God, forget killing Jesus, I want the big guy...
        • Clearmedium, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2(anti-theist myself) but you should know that because of the whole Christianity/Catholic mythology god/jesus/holy spirit are one entity so killing one would effectively kill the others as well.
        • ICSU, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Those are all just theories, not facts.

          /
        • mrbrownie, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3@Clearmedium:
          No no no you got it all wrong. You first fight Jesus in his corporeal form, then you get to fight Jesus in a huge pidgeon-like monster form after Jesus fusioned with the Holy Ghost, then you get to fight God himself, at the end you fight the Holy Trinity. So as you see, if you kill one, as long as one of the three is "living", they can rise again due to the fact that they're the same entity, you must kill them all at the same time.
          • Clearmedium, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Well yes... but you forgot all that time lvling up and getting into random battles. (thx btw i lol'd at work because of this)
        • lodeswrath, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1@Clearmedium:
          Again, lumping all Christians together. We are not all the same. Many demoninations have very different beliefs. Many, in fact, do not believe in the trinity at all. As in, 3 separate beings.
          • Clearmedium, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1That is true. I was really just going from the mainstream beliefs of the Christian/Catholic denominations. There are so many off-shoots of these thats it would be almost impossible to take into consideration all of them. Unfortunately to hold any kind of conversation on the subject of religion we have to use the mainstream beliefs that are most relevant in our society. btw Even though I may be an anti-theist I don't feel that in any way anyone has the right to restrict others beliefs. However I do feel that the subject of religion should be open to discussion as much as political beliefs ect ect.
    • ScottyQuest, on 04/30/2008, -1/+33He may be in posession of the Subtle Knife.
      • iticu, on 04/30/2008, -0/+5But then he wouldn't have to kill himself, he'd just walk into Death like a badass.
        • Lutremi, on 04/30/2008, -0/+4Won't he have to take the boat first?
      • Stevo592, on 04/30/2008, -1/+4Dugg for the Phillip Pullman reference!
      • Kingmichael, on 04/30/2008, -1/+3His Dark Materials is godly.
    • zero21xxx, on 04/30/2008, -1/+16Maybe he spent a little too much time reading His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman...
    • monoa, on 04/30/2008, -15/+20If you believe one absurdity without evidence (gods exist), it's a small step to believe other absurdities (you can kill them).
      • beldenge, on 04/30/2008, -14/+6So it's also absurd to believe that God doesn't exist without evidence, right? After all, it is the non-believer who has the burden of proof, not the believer. For the consequences of a non-believer that is wrong is eternity in hell, but for a believer there is no consequence.

        • airquotes, on 04/30/2008, -5/+14No. Burden of proof falls on the claimant or believer.. If I made a ridiculous claim what makes more sense, you going on a hunt to prove me wrong, or me just backing up my statement with some evidence?
          • ravage86, on 04/30/2008, -2/+3I think the idea that the universe always existed is absurd. I think the idea that rules like gravity created themselves is absurd. I understand you don't believe in God, that's fine, but at least propose a viable alternative theory.
          • airquotes, on 04/30/2008, -2/+2Ravage86 So you are suggesting perhaps god created gravity, I suppose to conveniently prevent his other inventions from floating away like so many helium filled balloons? Well, then god must have created the colors that all objects have and the smell that is inherent in many things as well as their weight mass etc.. all the things that make a piece of matter distinguishable, right? And I guess when something is naturally misshapen or off in some way, since god is perfect then all he creates should be perfectly made, so what is to be said about a deformed person or malformed tree even? The bible has times where a man must correct god or at least remind god that he is good and gentle (read: kiss gods ass a little so that he doesnt smite everyone in the place) for an example see Lot and God at sodom and gomorrah. If god is perfect like christians seem to claim how can he forget to not punish the innocent? Also the bible was transcribed by men but many seem so quick to see the bible as infallible. If god is perfect and his plan is perfect then why would he create the dinosaurs et al only to wipe them from the earth and start again? That seems more like the work of a giant prodigal child who enjoys his creation for a time then grows tired and begins again. Every "attribute" god possesses was attributed to him by man. It is downright silly. If you want an alternate theory, I could postulate something as arbitrary as god, only using my creativity to give him the attributes that I believe he should possess.. I'm sure over time gods identity was shaped by popular opinion. I prefer the theory that there was a nothingness, like a dark fertile dirt, and some seed of some sort wed with this nothingness to eventually become something, eventually over time this propagated indefinitely to form all that we know.. its the best I can come up with now, I am about to leave work.. I think really anything is as valid as the christian concept of god, it would be as silly to turn your nose up to my hypothesis as it is for one religion to criticize another.
          • spacedog800, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Attempting to solve the problem of the complexity of our universe not exsisting on its own by saying an even more complex being must have created it only makes this problem of regress even worse. You aren't solving the problem of our world being to complex to have always been, you are making it worse saying there is something even more incredibly complex and improbable out there that created it. So where does it end becuase somehow that being (god) had to be created somehow some way and exist somewhere...

            God isn't the answer to the improbability that our universe came to its known complexity all on its own.

        • postama, on 04/30/2008, -1/+4This is Pascal's wager, why not believe in God when the possible alternative is going to hell? Pascal said it is easier not to risk it and to believe in God. I personally believe that a God wont let you in if your only motivation in being faithful is not going to hell, so this puts the burden of proof on the believer like airquotes said.
          • etherreal, on 04/30/2008, -2/+3It is also known as "Fire Insurance". Might as well spin the wheel of religion and hope you pick the right one.
          • 15charmaxwtf, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2South Park sorted that one. The right answer is to become a Mormon.
          • airquotes, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3to pascals wager I say god will know since he is omnicious, that you are merely wagering as to not suffer hell and not truley devoting your faith to him, perhaps he will punish you for this trickery with a fate worse than hell. Better to be true to yourself and be natural then to toy with an ideology that doesnt really suit you.
          • Loxias, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2If God exists, and he would kick people out of Heaven because they didn't follow some absurdly specific religion despite the fact that they were some of the most kindhearted people ever, I wouldn't mind not going to heaven 'cause God kinda sounds like a dick.
        • felidaeus, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3Actually, burden of proof is a bit more complicated than that.

          If a person said: "You cannot prove that God does not exist, so He does."

          Then the burden of proof lays with him to prove that statement. You can't use a "cannot disprove" as a proof.

          If however, the statement was: "looking at the mathematical impossibility of the universe as we know it, an outside influence, such as God, but be shaping it."

          There he has a statement of claim that does not appeal to ignorance. That places the burden on you to prosecute his statement by proving that the universe as we know it is mathematically possible. This works because he could give as much proof as he wants but you would never necessarily believe it. The only way you would believe it is by constant testing of his statement. That is the entire premise of the scientific method, if simply providing lots of proof that the world consists of 4 elements was all that was required, we wouldn't get very far.
        • smartass007, on 04/30/2008, -3/+4any thing that can be asserted without evidence (that god exists) can be dismissed without evidence (that he doesn't).

          also, you aptly describe the real pull of religion: fear. worship god...or else...well, i would say to you that any god who would place you in hell for not believing in their existence is not worthy of being worshiped. of course, since you're a coward, you'll keep your 'faith' in the hope of saving your own worthless skin.

          nevertheless, you say there is 'no consequence' for the believer, but you may be surprised if you die and find out you had worshiped the wrong god all along and are going to hell anyway...in that case, i would be very happy in the existence of a god, just to see one more smarmy godfag getting his due.
        • Elliuotatar, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3So if I told you I was Jesus, you'd be forced to believe me because you could not prove me wrong, right?

          PS:
          If you ask me to perform any miracles, I will not, just as God doesn't perform miracles on command. This proves even moreso my divinity!
    • scarysnow, on 04/30/2008, -5/+5clearly not one of those godless, amoral "evolutionists" :)
    • MixMastaKooz, on 04/30/2008, -1/+9Saddam Hussein, according to an animated documentary I once watched, went to heaven and had constructed a innocuous looking "factory" in order to take over the Earth and Heaven. Anything is possible, I guess.
      • blindhammer, on 04/30/2008, -7/+1If you beleived that "documentary" then I really have no hope for humanity.
      • stopbrorape, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1i believe he said it was a chocolate bar factory.
    • sploozo, on 04/30/2008, -4/+2Actually a major difference in Christianity than other religions is that one gets into heaven not by works but by faith.

      This implies that one could commit any mulititude on sins and as long as he or she asks for forgiveness and accepts Jesus as their savior before they die they will still get into heaven.

      So in this way getting into heaven and then murdering Jesus would still be possible.
      • greenlikematt, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3true, saved by grace, not works....

        but I would argue that it would be impossible to have real faith and a plan to kill jesus as the same.
        but this whole idea is so ridiculous that I can hardly even discuss it, ha
        • tacroy, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Why don't you have a 360. Unacceptable.
        • Gutterpunk, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1"but I would argue that it would be impossible to have real faith and a plan to kill Jesus as the same"... why?

          He surely believe more than a vast majority of people here. You don't want to kill something/someone you aren't sure exists.

          /Unless you are Mr Jonathan Teatime
      • TheFinaleofSeem, on 04/30/2008, -1/+3Wrong. Different Christian denominations will interpret things differently. Some say grace, some say works, some say both. There is a passage in James that states "Faith without works is dead, being nothing..." Saying that Christianity on the whole believes this is flat-out false.
      • felidaeus, on 04/30/2008, -1/+7The statement saved by grace not works is stated once, and it needs to be taken with a grain of salt.
        Yes, all the works in the world will not really get you to heaven.

        But on the other hand, there is an entire book dedicated to the fact that faith without works is not faith at all.

        But nobody likes to think about the fact that they actually needs to obey all that be nice to your neighbor junk, so they tend to skip it.
      • superkendall, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2If you believe in God then you also believe in his omniscience, therefore they/He would know what you were up to - no matter how repentant you seemed to be at killing off a bunch of innocent kids, no way would you be going to a meet & greet with the big J after you kick the bucket.

        Basically you can summarize the situation thusly - crazy people is crazy, don't try to make sense of the logic they employ.

        • sploozo, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2"If you believe in God then you also believe in his omniscience, therefore they/He would know what you were up to"

          Which brings us to another lovely paradox.... If God were omniscient up to than why the ***** would he create millions of people that he knew were going to be damned? Why not just bring everybody to heaven from the get go and spare millions of souls from eternal torment?
          • TheFinaleofSeem, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Because you wouldn't learn anything. God would let millions be damned because of free will and our ability to make choices. A common thread in religions is that we're here for a purpose, and that purpose is to choose and learn.
        • lodeswrath, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0to let them have their own choices, thats why. Would you rather get thrust in hell through no doing of your own, but what you 'could' have done, or go to hell based on things you actually did do? Choices, is what it is all about.
      • BoneheadFarker, on 04/30/2008, -1/+0Not according to Jack Chick: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0037/0037_01.a ...
      • jamusallen, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1There are also a number of Eastern religions, like Pure Land Buddhism, that focus on faith rather works to get you a preferred seat in the next world.
    • yunus, on 04/30/2008, -1/+53↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Start
      It would give you 30 tries.
    • dmunky, on 04/30/2008, -3/+3This isn't entirely absurd. I'm sure Batman must would also have a backup plan and a file on Jesus. Just in case he gets out of control and becomes a god or something.
    • LeeSoong, on 04/30/2008, -0/+9In related news, the young man is now being interviewed by an U.S. Army Recruiter . . .
    • Filipp0, on 04/30/2008, -2/+5THE TERRORIST ARE ATTACKING OUR IMAGINATION!

      NUKE IMAGINATIONLAND!!
      • bennyb123, on 04/30/2008, -0/+0HAHA those little critters were evil! Butters has a sick imagination.
    • Etchii, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Many believe they could be holy enough to fight off satan and his minions.. (Exorcisms, rituals, etc..)
      Is it too hard to believe that one could be evil enough to fight off God/God's Son?

      Score for Christianity for implanting this idea into this kid's head.

      • Gamer2k4, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1> Is it too hard to believe that one could be evil enough to fight off God/God's Son?

        Kinda, yeah. According to Christianity, Jesus resurrected by going to hell and defeating Satan, who is generally understood to be the ultimate incarnation of evil. If Satan can't stand up to Jesus, why do you think some crazy kid would be able to? That idea actually conflicts with Christianity.

        Christians believe they can defeat Satan and demons through the power of Jesus, not because of their own holiness.
        • lodeswrath, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0um your interpratations on what "christians believe" leave much to be desired. christians come in many different flavors, like a rainbow pop. "Christianity" isnt a religion. Its a genre of religion. kind of like "RPG" is a genre of games.
          • Gamer2k4, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1Alright, let me rephrase that. Christians who read and believe the Bible (instead of creating their own doctrines) believe the things I mentioned above.
    • madeingermany, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3He must be so messed up - if he believes in God and Jesus, he must also believe that he would go to hell for what he planned to do -> No killing Jesus!
      • greenwald, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3This is how you do it according to biblical loop-holes. It's fine to plan to kill Jesus if you ask forgiveness and accept him as the true Saviour right before you die. Then... You get up to heaven and have a change of heart and attempt to kill Jesus who will not be expecting it.
        If the plan fails you go to hell and attempt kill and/or ***** the devil. If you kill him then you either take over hell and solicate all kinds of help killing Jesus. If you can breed with the devil you spawn can fulfill the omen of killing Jesus.
      • ultar6, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0Bad kitty!
    • Elliuotatar, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Don't be so sure that it's crazy! I mean, Jesus was killed once before, wasn't he?
      • ultar6, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0Yes, but what are the ramifications if he succeeded? Would it have pre-empted the Second Coming?
    • BobOki, on 04/30/2008, -1/+3"told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus"
      "that the statements are an indication that 18-year-old Ryan Schallenberger needs a psychological evaluation."

      And there you have it folks. Christianity is a psychological problem.
      See what I did there?
      • Gamer2k4, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1I'm pretty sure this isn't the general view of Christians. Otherwise we could say that Islam is a psychological problem, simply because a few extremists blow stuff up.
    • Kronos6948, on 04/30/2008, -1/+12Nobody ***** with the Jesus.
      • etherreal, on 04/30/2008, -3/+1I ***** with him all the time.
      • IllBeBack, on 04/30/2008, -2/+2Well, they would have you believe that nobody ***** his Mom either, but that's also a load of *****. Mary was gettin' hard ***** in her sweet pussy every day and night.

        /going to hell.
        • Kronos6948, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3I guess neither you nor etherreal ever saw The Big Lebowski.
        • lodeswrath, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0jesus had siblings. mary was not a virgin.
      • jamusallen, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1If that kid pulled any of his crazy ***** with Him, He'd take it away from him, stick it up his ass and pull the ***** trigger till it went click.
        • derram, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2What happened to turn the other cheek?
      • zspade, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Ehhhhhh!
    • Vic333, on 04/30/2008, -4/+5Too bad he got caught. We could have been rid of Jesus once and for all.
    • diggingaround, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Plot possible only in the "Bible Belt" territory...
    • Shuukyoku, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1Wait, so we're indicting a kid for attempted theocide? Is that seriously a crime now? Does it only apply to personified deities (like if I wanted to, say, suicide bomb Allah) or can we get the book thrown at us for screwing with supernatural forces (if, say, I found a way to break Karma). All I know is that if this makes it to the Supreme Court, I'm going to have to go and assassinate the statue of Minerva that sits in the court. Just for the statement.

      Sidenote: Did this kid not think that he'd get frisked by St. Peter at the gate? I mean, its Heaven, but I'm figuring that they've got a set of large pious bouncers-in-life guarding the pearly gates.
      • staffa, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Yes, he was arrested for attempted theocide. The plan to blow up the highscool had nothing to do with it.
    • glasnostic, on 04/30/2008, -2/+2this sure helps confirm my "religious people are stupid" theory.
    • matu4251, on 04/30/2008, -0/+11) blow up school
      2) go to hell
      3) ... profit?
      If his plan was to go to heaven to kill Jesus, blowing up his high school might not be the best way :) The guy really has issues.
    • Dumbledorito, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Maybe he was trying to oust Pope John-Paul II. He was packing heaven with hand-picked saints for a hostile takeover of heaven...
    • JustinCase18, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1A classic example where the lifeguards need to remove this guy from the gene pool.
  • pentupentropy, on 04/30/2008, -7/+97well, maybe he also believed anything was possible... or he's just an insane idiot.
    • peterapokotos, on 04/30/2008, -11/+81Anything is possible when you believe in magic!
      • Sensai, on 04/30/2008, -1/+5In a young girl's heart?
        • badassninja, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2How the music can free her whenever it starts and it's magic!!....
      • julianrod, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1I just had the image of a man saying that phrase, having some LSD and flying away.
      • someidiotinnj, on 04/30/2008, -2/+1 Abracadabra, I sit on his knee.
        Presto, change-o, and now he is me!
        Hocus Pocus, we take her to bed,
        Magic is fun...when you're dead.
      • funk13, on 04/30/2008, -0/+0i can't wait 'til those damn scientists invent magic. good for nothing jerks.
    • SpykerSpeed, on 04/30/2008, -0/+15It's just an insanity defense. Any attorney worth their salt can make up a good story like this for their client.
    • SuperWinner, on 04/30/2008, -2/+3See what the lie is doing to the kids?
    • had3l, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3I just wish his parents would have given him psychological help instead of calling the police. By calling the police, they screwed up any chance he had of actually being a normal person in the future. (After all, he was a straight A student, so he might be insane, but he is not an idiot)
      • takamalak, on 04/30/2008, -1/+10Getting straight As in South Carolina is equivalent to getting straight C-minuses anywhere north of the Mason-Dixon line.
    • NCSUspoon, on 04/30/2008, -2/+3That's right man, don't ***** with the jesus
    • fxu1989, on 04/30/2008, -2/+3"Prosecutors argued in a federal courtroom that the statements are an indication that 18-year-old Ryan Schallenberger needs a psychological evaluation."

      I bet it's because he believed in Jesus.
    • Buzzpatrol, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1HOW is this any stranger than believing in Jesys and Heaven in the first place?
      Nice to see some conviction!
    • spootmonkey, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1If that journal is put into evidence there is no way he can make a insanity defense..shows premeditation
  • jontalisman, on 04/30/2008, -11/+210Somebody's been smoking too much Salvia...
    • peterapokotos, on 04/30/2008, -28/+4Hey that's drool to you!
      • imnojezus, on 04/30/2008, -2/+23Psst... he said salvia, not saliva.
        • peterapokotos, on 04/30/2008, -3/+14I read it too quickly.
        • MellerTime, on 04/30/2008, -8/+4I thought it was just a funny play on words... Now you've ruined it. RUINED!
        • ninerskeet, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1pfffffttt... i just spit out some saliva. LMFAO!!!
    • abuelos84, on 04/30/2008, -4/+35When you smoke salvia, the least important person you're gonna visit is jesus...
    • Doomsan, on 04/30/2008, -6/+4oh man that ***** is strong.
    • greenlikematt, on 04/30/2008, -5/+14he said a buzzword...
      here come the diggs
      • BoneheadFarker, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Salvia is a buzzword? Well...actually, I can understand that...
        • kernel, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Is that legal? I heard salvia was legal in canada...I think....its stronger the marijuana but...somewhat legal...weird...
    • erkokite, on 04/30/2008, -1/+6He's on something way stronger than salvia. My guess is that he spent several hours swimming in a kiddie pool filled with ether.
    • Fallout911, on 04/30/2008, -1/+13I love Salvia.
    • Atex55, on 04/30/2008, -0/+5whoa, come on now. This guy is clearly insane but there is no need to bring drugs into this. Bad things can happen while on drugs but jumping to that conclusion is like the same thing Dr Phil did with video games about the last psycho, which we all freaked out over. Not all drugs are bad, and jumping to conclusions is worse. =)
      • BoneheadFarker, on 04/30/2008, -0/+0Bad things happen when you go off drugs too. Especially the ones in plastic bottles with things like "Ziprasidone" or "Olanzapine" written on it...
        • cj485, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2what's that? oh, just a jug of PCP.
        • pooty2, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1I'm going to pick up the kids right now.
    • exomni, on 04/30/2008, -1/+3Shut the ***** up about salvia, man. Jesus, nothing pisses me off more than seeing Salvia in the news. You know every time you mention it you're bringing it one step quicker to being unnecessarily banned.
      • thatcoolrushguy, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1I've heard it will be illegal at the federal level this July. Hopefully I'm wrong though.
    • compu73rg33k, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2zOMG good thing Illinois made that illegal as of Jan. 2008. I'm safe now!
    • Oea420, on 04/30/2008, -0/+7it's pretty stupid when salvia of all things is legal and weed is not, considering salvia pretty much ruined gravity for me
    • Fallout911, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1As a matter of fact I will probably smoke some foliage today.
      Not as strong as the extract but gives you that feeling anyways.
      (I bought a pound from bouncing bear botanicals)
      • thatcoolrushguy, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2You could always do an extract yourself (check erowid.org).
    • m60dude5, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2First, I thought that said "Saliva" I was like, WTF, then I saw it said salvia.
    • Zlorp, on 05/01/2008, -3/+1salvia is for posers
    • NevaDieENT, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Assuming he has been smoking that much salvia... then he has probably already seen Jesus a few times and thats why he wants to kill him...
  • Skeptica, on 04/30/2008, -26/+54He wanted to kill Jesus? I think he's more than 2000 years too late; and how was he so sure he could go to heaven, if there was such a thing as heaven. People know hell is hot from volcano, but heaven is cold as ice.
    • WarPirate, on 04/30/2008, -20/+14Actually Jesus still lives today. If you do your reading you would know that he was crucified, buried, and resurrected 3 days later.

      so yes this whack job could in fact try.
      • count123, on 04/30/2008, -9/+19More correctly, the Christian mythos believes that Jesus still lives today.
        You say that he lives as a fact, so bring him forward. Else, be prepared to be flamed when you make definitive statements that are based on 'belief'.

        Remember, you and an atheist believe the same thing... only atheists think 1 more religion is full of crap.
        • alan93, on 04/30/2008, -10/+2Not true, an atheist beleives in nothing, which there is no proof of, not even a nothingness bible. Near death experiences have provided evidence against this however.
          • takamalak, on 04/30/2008, -3/+15You're retarded. Either that or a full glass of retarded spilled all over your keyboard.
          • tidu, on 04/30/2008, -1/+4And the complete non-existence of a higher being has provided evidence for it... It's all about faith.
          • JoeKickass, on 04/30/2008, -1/+4takamalak I logged in just to digg you, that was brilliant.
          • coyote1284, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1*whoosh*
        • Clearmedium, on 04/30/2008, -2/+5Correct. They don't believe in anything... fictional or that is most likely un-true. To them the mono-theistic religions (Christianity/Judaism/Islam) are just as probable as fairies. Cannot yet prove that they are not real. But the probability of their existence is slim to none. That said Atheists would be, how do you say, rational?
          • acero47, on 04/30/2008, -4/+4"The probability of existence is slim to none"
            Based on what exactly?

            There is no greater probability that God does exist than that he doesn't. There is no proof for or against his existence, thus no conclusions can be made. As no there are no proven facts about God, a person's beliefs become the most important thing. I personally believe that there is a God, atheists don't. Neither of us are scientifically right, and atheists need to get off their high horse and realize their belief is no more valid than that of anyone else.
          • Smuikas, on 04/30/2008, -2/+4@acero

            There are no written records of his execution, or of the so-called census that required everyone to go back to the town they were born in. There were definitely censuses taken. But none that required you to travel to your hometown. (seriously, why would this even be required? It's stupid.)

            And the Romans were meticulous about records.
          • Clearmedium, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2TO acero47

            1. "The probability of existence is slim to none" is based upon that fact the the most rational explanation of God would be through the Diest idea that if there as a God he started the big bang and left everything else. Also the idea that there is a personal God is a new idea that stemmed from Judaism, which them spawned Christianity and Islam (note that both of these were radical groups that split from Judaism). The 3 current mono-theistic religions which I have just stated are relatively new to the world and have proven to be the most deadly and violent religions thus far in human history. To quote Richard Dawkins "Were are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further"
            2. I don't hate people of religious faith and do not wish that they stop believing if it truly makes them happy (I am an existentialist at heart when it comes to individual philosophy). However as stated above the three dominate religions of this world are and were responsible for enough violence that it would be healthy for mankind to stop having faith in them since their existence simply creates more divisions and irrational or spiritually infused hatred.
          • acero47, on 04/30/2008, -1/+4@Smuikas: I'm not entirely sure what the census information or Jesus (I assume, since you just mention an execution) has to do with God's existence or lack thereof. I assume you are using it as an attempt to disprove the Bible, but I don't think you succeeded. One, the Bible could be used as a "written record" of those things. Two, does anything else specifically say how censuses were taken? I don't see why it is so preposterous that people would need to report to their hometowns (maybe in our time it wouldn't make sense, but things change over thousands of years).

            @Clearmedium:
            1. I'm pretty sure most Christians do not believe in the Big Bang. I'm not sure what the rest of your first point has to do with my question.
            2. People can and will be divided over pretty much anything (see OS wars, console wars, etc). Religion is just one of many things that can divide us. I'm of the mindset that fault lies not with religion, but with the follower of the religion. If I go kill someone and say I did it for Christianity, does that make Christianity to blame? Of course not. Part of free will is that we can interpret things as we wish and do things as we wish. Some people do unthinkable things, but that has nothing to do with their religion.

            Also, on Digg anyway, yes, anyone religious is treated as a moron who couldn't possibly comprehend the supreme intellect that is atheism. Sometimes a pro-Christian (or pro-Religion in general) post will actually be dugg up. More often than not, though, it's down into the negatives. I know a lot of times the comments come off as uninformed or moronic, but that doesn't automatically mean that all religious people follow suit. I thank you for being tolerant and mature in your approach to this issue.
          • Kyan, on 04/30/2008, -0/+4I just want ton add my two cents worth. If God does exist, he sure is one sneaky little devil.
          • alan93, on 04/30/2008, -2/+2Rational , you mean like Richard Dawkins and his belief in Aliens lol. Yea real rational.
          • Fartag, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1@acero47: "There is no greater probability that God does exist than that he doesn't."

            The tooth fairy, big foot, the Loch Ness monster, Santa Claus etc. All of these have eyewitness accounts (though many people seem to lie about some of these conspiratorially!). Are each of these just as probable to exist as not? What about the Kraken? What about fairies, leprechauns, unicorns, Zeus, water spirits, witches, curses, ghosts and psychic powers?

            There's a high burden of evidence required by those making fanciful claims that don't follow from current evidence or understanding. Also, rational people tend not to believe any one baseless thing over any other baseless thing. If they're told it is the truth (whatever "it" is) by their family, friends, pastor or from a book, they ask how did _they_ know it's true?, who told them?, what evidence lies at the basis of this? Evidence is critical! Eyewitness accounts written hundreds of years after the fact, handpicked claims, embellishments, instilling fears of questioning, fears of doubting, all of these are strikes against it because it merely shows why such irrationality has spread so far and become so ingrained despite having absolutely no legitimate evidence to back it up.

            If evidence is absent how should we pick from all of the enormous possibilities to believe in, of gods, spirits, beliefs, rituals? What chain letters should we respond to? The answer is we don't have to worry about any of those things. But bring forth sufficient evidence for whatever "it" is and we'll believe it!
          • Clearmedium, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2@acero47

            Thank you for being mature about the discussion as well. We need more open forum discussions on subjects like these. XD
          • acero47, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1@Fartag:
            I agree that faith is often irrational. Isn't that the point though? To quote Hebrews 11:1, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen". Faith has nothing to do with being rational or not. We have faith we'll live through the day, even though no evidence suggests such a thing. People have faith that their airplane will safely transport them, but there is no evidence this will happen. At some point, you have to be able to move past focusing solely on evidence and understand that some things just require a little faith.
        • mwalker05, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3he never said it was a fact. maybe he just didnt want to come across as the snide, condescending ***** that you appear to be?
        • undershirt, on 04/30/2008, -2/+1***** yes.
      • gyrfalcon, on 04/30/2008, -3/+4Yes he could try if he's able to fool an omnipotent creator of the universe.
      • macweirdo42, on 04/30/2008, -4/+12Came back to life? Well that leaves just two possibilities - either Jesus is a vampire, or he's a zombie. Either way, in light of that fact, honestly, I can't say I blame the kid. He was just trying to save humanity.
        • lamiaconfitor, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2he really shouldn't hurt people trying to do so, however.
        • bonk2k, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Regardless of whether Jesus was God or not, and whether or not he even existed, its not Jesus that's the problem for humanity, its his fan club. All the guy did was preach peace and love, which is certainly very good for humanity.
      • lamiaconfitor, on 04/30/2008, -10/+1sings: "Jesus is dead! Jesus is dead! Jesus is Dead!"
        • alan93, on 04/30/2008, -5/+0Hey look ! A Nietsche wanna be lol
        • coyote1284, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3I liked that song better the first time I heard it, when it was played by Nine Inch Nails.
      • Etchii, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1Jesus is not "alive" today like you say.

        He rose up and took his seat next to God the father up in heaven. He will come back to earth again, which marks the end of time. So please, if you know how to call him forth...don't. I want to finish GTA4 first.
      • OCSmoke, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1So Jesus didn't die for my sins?

        As an atheist, I'm glad he was only temporarily stunned for my sins.
    • optigon, on 04/30/2008, -9/+2Yes, he's hiding in the Forest of Solitude with Superman, waiting for Lex Luther to endanger the world so he can have a triumphant come back!
      • acero47, on 04/30/2008, -1/+4Forest of Solitude? Really?
      • Etchii, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Yea, he sleeps in a hammock under the shade now. Much more comfy than a cave of crystals.
      • julianrod, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1"Lex Luther"... haha... that's called synchretism...
    • mwalker05, on 04/30/2008, -2/+4not to be a jerk but technically it would be less than 2000 years, since the year 0 A.D. would be when jesus was born, unless jesus was crucified when he was 8 years old...
      • jaychuck, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3Jesus was born 3 A.D.
        • SerifTheRobot, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1If at all... which of course, he wasn't.
        • Daniel591992, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1There's no sure year, but it's in that area.
    • Nick519, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1man, that is one pissed off kid!
    • Shuukyoku, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1Of course, with suicide being a cardinal sin, doesn't he drop as soon as he hits the button? I mean, all that would do is condemn him to a life looking up at Jesus mocking him. "Hah, we thought of that when we wrote the book. SUCKA!" For eternity...
    • oojamaflip2006, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1...willing to sacrifice our love.
  • enakra, on 04/30/2008, -39/+125Hoooooraaaaay religion!
    • glock22ownr, on 04/30/2008, -9/+3?
    • bhavinp, on 04/30/2008, -17/+5I would go along with it if it didn't involve killing innocent people being dead. We could all use fewer schools and fewer churches.
    • Shrooms27, on 04/30/2008, -3/+1Whooooo!! LOL
    • kIdFrY, on 04/30/2008, -9/+5what does this article have to do with religion? The problem child wanted to kill Jesus! Jesus is not a religion, period. It's really that simple!
      • tsaweb, on 04/30/2008, -0/+0Really? Because I thought that the largest religion in the world was based on the assumption that Jesus is the messiah sent from God...

        Jesus is not religion?
        • FranksValli, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Well, this is debatable of course, but Jesus the person is different than what is today Christianity the religion. So many policies or beliefs of Christianity are based on an educated guess of what Jesus/God would say, instead of what Jesus actually said. Also, some people have seen Jesus as simply an teacher, and have removed him from his religious message. Again, whether you can separate Jesus from his religious message is again extremely debatable.
    • moofer, on 04/30/2008, -0/+10I think you meant "beer"
    • allemande, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2You didn't read the article, did you...
  • smurfz, on 04/30/2008, -63/+18I have poop in my butt =]
  • lucidguru, on 04/30/2008, -32/+383You can't kill Jesus... He just comes back as a zombie.
    • peterapokotos, on 04/30/2008, -12/+110Dude he already came back as a zombie.... That is what the Easter Bunny is about. The easter bunny sacrifices her eggs to protect us all from zombie Jesus the gardener.
      • lamiaconfitor, on 04/30/2008, -0/+38I want you to write a book on this subject. Im not lying, I will totally buy it.
        • purpl3hazze, on 04/30/2008, -2/+2And then he can start his own religion and make millions, just like Scientology!
      • funkymoose, on 04/30/2008, -0/+4I ***** love it. That's what i'm going to start telling kids from now on.
    • o0joshua0o, on 04/30/2008, -5/+435Jesus has a respawn time of 3 days.
      • Goblin, on 04/30/2008, -1/+62Damn lag
      • lamiaconfitor, on 04/30/2008, -0/+24as long as God keeps paying for the DSL.
        • tidu, on 04/30/2008, -0/+7You'd think the almighty would at least upgrade to cable, jeez
      • LAZZOR, on 04/30/2008, -1/+6That's why you should just spawn camp.
      • moofer, on 04/30/2008, -0/+8That's cause of his TKs
      • felidaeus, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1So mary was camping his respawn point to get the phat immortality buff?
      • Etchii, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3Unless there is a server reset, then he pops early.
      • moofer, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3Actually Jesus uses an aim bot
    • CUNextuesday, on 04/30/2008, -3/+88Except he's kind of a reverse zombie: he rises from the dead, but the living feast on *his* flesh and drink *his* blood.
      • roboticrickshaw, on 04/30/2008, -1/+41Perhaps zombies are reverse Jesus's
        • johnnysaucepn, on 04/30/2008, -0/+12Surely Zombie Antichrist is already a band name?
        • Gutterpunk, on 04/30/2008, -0/+11Zombie Antichrist would become Jesus. I think? I mean, if Zombies are reverse Jesus, and the Antichrist is a reverse Jesus, a Zombie Antichrist would be a reverse-reverse-Jesus, making him Jesus!

          /Jesus!
          • moofer, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Man... that's deep. +1 for your efforts my friend. What can you do with Vampire Agnostics?
    • AndreiOttawa, on 04/30/2008, -1/+57This could be a great South Park episode.
      • ultar6, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0It's too good and there's precedent - Kenny was taken to Heaven to defend against Hell's attack.
    • flukes1, on 04/30/2008, -0/+10Curaga should do the trick then
      • plunderbunny, on 04/30/2008, -0/+5No no. Esuna might work better.
        • zerozidane, on 04/30/2008, -0/+4Full-Life would be your best bet.
    • Viriatus2, on 04/30/2008, -2/+1braiiiiiinnnsss!!!
    • falkonv7l, on 04/30/2008, -2/+2"Zombie Jesus".....................wow!
    • antwan17, on 04/30/2008, -4/+8Jesus is not a zombie. He's a vampire. He comes back but retains his personality and intellect. If you drink his blood you'll live forever. He has long, luscious hair (pre requisite for an anne rice vampire), and considering the vast amount of violence and bloodshed thats gone in his name he's blood thirsty. Also for those who will say "but Jesus is not killed by the sun" I would like to point out that in the grandaddy of vamps Dracula can also walk around during the day quite happily.
    • Landino9, on 04/30/2008, -4/+4"he killed jesus. You basterd"!!!!
    • mojotooth, on 04/30/2008, -0/+8SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS!
    • flossdaily, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2headshot = no zombies. everyone knows that.
    • sassyjack, on 04/30/2008, -1/+7Eat this bread, it is…my…favorite.
      Drink this wine, it is a merlot.
    • Dumbledorito, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1"You have seleced... deicide. If you know the name of the god or goddes being murdered, press one..."
  • rockrodger, on 04/30/2008, -2/+86Where do i get the drugs this guy is on?
    • muffinman1990, on 04/30/2008, -7/+1nice line :)
    • EarlOfLade, on 04/30/2008, -13/+2You wanna die and go kill Jesus? Wow, you ARE sick!
      • abuelos84, on 04/30/2008, -0/+4No, he wants to know (FTP): "Where do i get the drugs this guy is on?".

        You are welcome.
    • ElAssoWipo, on 04/30/2008, -1/+14Psychiatrists. Say you're depressed, can't focus and have nightmares that prevent you from sleeping.
    • CUNextuesday, on 04/30/2008, -6/+18At your local church.
      • badassninja, on 04/30/2008, -8/+2OH YES, because a church had any thing to do with this?! Are you retarded? Yes a church was teaching him to go kill everyone so you can die so you can kill Jesus... *****!
        • coyote1284, on 04/30/2008, -2/+1Why am I not surprised that the comment misattributing the crazy *****'s action to church gets dugg up 'cos it's popular to just say Chistianity is bad, while the truer comment gets dugg down. ***** classic, diggers!
        • IllBeBack, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Well, let's go down our little church path here.

          Church = spreader of religion. This guy = religious crazy loon. This guy probably went to church. Therefore, church had something to do with this. There.
          • badassninja, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Tht's pretty darn weak. The guy also drank milk, so lets blame cows while we are at it.
    • flintmecha, on 04/30/2008, -0/+4The same place he bought the explosives: the Internet.
    • Herostratus, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1From the sounds of it, he was probably on SSRIs. You can get em pretty much anywhere, but these kinds of effects require long term use.
    • lolmax, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2http://salviadragon.com/buysalvia.htm
    • Gemfinder, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Judging from his relationship with his family, probably more testosterone than you could shake a stick at. His mother and sister must be wearying Heaven with thanks that he could get thrown in the pokey forever and ever if he's convicted.
    • JohnnyHotballs, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2http://www.buycheapseeds.com
    • Todamont, on 05/02/2008, -1/+1wow try reading some testimonials from salvia users. It's like bad sci-fi.That ***** CANNOT be good for your brain!
  • exYU, on 04/30/2008, -23/+8How do you kill that which has no life?
    • twiztidsinz, on 04/30/2008, -1/+16Good question...
      How DO you kill the average digg user?
      • muffinman1990, on 04/30/2008, -7/+4use the weapon of mass destruction .... Blue Screen Of Death!!
      • synyster, on 04/30/2008, -4/+3easy! unplug the internet cable
      • chaseywacy, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1Ha! You owned that jerk!
    • coyote1284, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1I see what you did there... artard.
      • slicedoranges, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Holy *****, someone actually spelled it right.
  • wassim2k, on 04/30/2008, -13/+119Suicide probably doesn't get you into heaven.
    • meruru, on 04/30/2008, -0/+64Uh oh, someone better tell that to suicide bombers
      • dartmanx, on 04/30/2008, -3/+9I prefer to laugh at the shock they must experience AFTER the bombing.
        • tidu, on 04/30/2008, -1/+4It's okay if a few people die in the process...
    • porkdanish, on 04/30/2008, -0/+33Really? I'll have to rethink my retirement plans then.
    • GeorgeStone2, on 04/30/2008, -1/+11Mass murder does, right?
    • Thorox, on 04/30/2008, -1/+16You should watch Constantine one more time.
    • synyster, on 04/30/2008, -1/+8depend on what religion you believe
    • lamiaconfitor, on 04/30/2008, -6/+14Nor does dying.
    • chrgrose, on 04/30/2008, -1/+9Planning to kill Jesus probably doesn't either.
      • dieskiddy, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1I agree to disagree, nowhere in the ten comandments does it say thou shalt not crush thy lords son....
    • Mnevis, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1He was probably going to let the cops shoot him.
    • dieskiddy, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Don't crush the kids spirit, he went to all this trouble only to be denied entry due to not being tall enough.
  • Elohir, on 04/30/2008, -11/+383I do like to see a kid with a goal in life.
    • Vengefultacos, on 04/30/2008, -0/+78Heck, not only did he have a goal in life, he had a goal in death, too!
      • macweirdo42, on 04/30/2008, -0/+28He's an inspiration to us all - I mean, how many of us have absolutely no ambitions for the afterlife? You gotta grab afterlife by the horns.
      • ghostoftomjoad, on 04/30/2008, -4/+1Don't ever say heck again. And you don't need the " ! " either
    • CUNextuesday, on 04/30/2008, -0/+6More like a goal in the afterlife.
    • Buzzpatrol, on 04/30/2008, -0/+4Hell yeah, we need to encourage this kind of dedication!
    • whitenerdy92, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1and death.
    • trapilales, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1not to mention an awesome stache...
    • harristotle, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1I see I was too late to come up with the clever reply to this comment, you've won the battle Vengefultacos, but not the war.
  • spikespeigel42, on 04/30/2008, -4/+62That is the most metal thing I have ever heard, and yet it still reminds me of that penny arcade strip.
  • dsotmrw, on 04/30/2008, -1/+37Didn't work the first time, what makes him think it would've worked this time?
    • jojoanderson, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1hahaha good point!
    • alclone, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1It's pretty much like trying to kill a shaman...

      Doesn't work if they can self-res
  • algo, on 04/30/2008, -6/+162at least he has an original reason for wanting to blow up the school.. :/
    • MikeEric, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1Unless he thought jesus was a self centered jock
  • furbyboy, on 04/30/2008, -61/+146That guy is insane........he thinks heaven and jesus ACTUALLY exist!!
    • gyrfalcon, on 04/30/2008, -2/+20That's not insane compared to the other things he believes. I wonder if he's actually smart and just @#$ing with authorites so he can plead insanity.
      • dsotmrw, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Primal Fear, anyone?
      • ghostoftomjoad, on 04/30/2008, -2/+1umm, thats the joke, gyrfalcon
      • mithrasinvictus, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1isn't premeditated murder indicative of insanity?
    • Shrooms27, on 04/30/2008, -11/+2Dude WTF? Jesus is my homedowwg. And heaven is his cool cool digs!
    • ligyron, on 04/30/2008, -24/+8You're a ***** moron. I'd like to see you say something like that out in public
      • ProfessorRiffs, on 04/30/2008, -4/+12I will gladly denounce anything and everything related to any religion in public. In fact I do on a regular basis. So what happens now, tough digg comment box guy?

        Laughable, man!
        • bingobongony, on 04/30/2008, -10/+3Sure you do, internet tough guy.
      • Ranvier, on 04/30/2008, -0/+5Because no one denounces religion already...
      • blindhammer, on 04/30/2008, -0/+11Let me see. Turn a blind cheek. Love thy enemy. Pacifism.

        But noooooo, you respond with "You're a ***** moron."
      • diggrnumber1, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1because blatantly denouncing religion in public will ruin your life - this is the system that the religious authorities have created. you've got to do it only subliminally, because you will otherwise immediately lose all credibility among most people, even though you would be right in criticizing religion.
    • fsfroy, on 04/30/2008, -1/+0FURBYBOY
    • coyote1284, on 04/30/2008, -0/+14NO WAI!
      YAHWEH!
    • thefloss, on 04/30/2008, -0/+0Original humour. I like it.
  • peterapokotos, on 04/30/2008, -17/+7LMAO
    • RSterkenburg, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2Contribute some REAL *****, or gtfo. Nobody wants to see your useless waste of a comment.
  • muffinman1990, on 04/30/2008, -4/+13what a nut job! ..
    Oh No!! .... i can see that this is going to turn into another Religion Debate :S
    • EarlOfLade, on 04/30/2008, -3/+10Ehh well... I don't think any atheist would wanna die in order to kill Jesus which most of us think is just another mythical figure and not real. Esp. since there is ZERO supporting evidence outside the bible for Jesus.
      • XIUgraag, on 04/30/2008, -8/+2You mean that book that has been going around for 2000 years? Ever tried saying 1 sentence to 10 people...
        • greenlikematt, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1In addition to Greek manuscripts, there are over 19,000 copies in the Syriac, Latin, Coptic, and Aramaic languages. The total supporting New Testament manuscript base is over 24,000. The internal consistency of the New Testament documents is about 99.5% textually pure.
      • abuelos84, on 04/30/2008, -1/+4You are going to be sodomized by Randy the Goat Boy in hell for all eternity. Communist!
      • greenlikematt, on 04/30/2008, -2/+5Really? What about the non-christian source named Cornelius Tacitus (55-120 AD), "the greatest historian" of ancient Rome:

        "Consequently, to get rid of the report, Nero fastened the guilt and inflicted the most exquisite tortures on a class hated for their abominations, called Christians by the populace. Christus, from whom the name had its origin, suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus..."
        • Bilabrin, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1I don't think most of what the bible says is in dispute. Just the stuff about god and miracles and visions and supernatural stuff.
      • AckTheCat, on 04/30/2008, -2/+4Meh. There are many academic, scholarly, and (most importantly for you) agnostic resources that confirm the man we commonly know today as 'Jesus' did exist. Anti-theists gave up on that argument damn near 100 years ago. You really need to catch up on the debate pal. You're way outdated.
      • diggrnumber1, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2you're confusing jebus with moses. there are other sources outside the bible that say jebus existed, but there is no proof. so it is not implausible that he existed. moses was only mentioned in the bible.
    • bsmang, on 04/30/2008, -0/+6Religion debate? No way... such a thing could NEVER happen on Digg.
    • Bilabrin, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3At least he's not a ***** scientologist!
    • ChokingVictims, on 04/30/2008, -1/+3the world would be better without religion because there would be no religion debates.
    • SilverStandard, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2You obey the rules of logic, religion ignores them. Where exactly is the debate?
  • neems25, on 04/30/2008, -9/+9AMAZING PLAN.....not
  • shouldnot, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3he can accomplish his will without blowing up the school, maybe its just a make up to his story.. where is sanity gone, world gone wild :)
  • Cyberdactyl, on 04/30/2008, -0/+43-NEWS FLASH-
    Teen plots to become just another seriously disturbed dumbass.
  • MojoJonJon, on 04/30/2008, -4/+30so THIS is where the WMDs were. this kid had them all along. silly us.... sorry iraq!
    • jumico, on 04/30/2008, -0/+0"The straight-A Chesterfield High School senior was arrested April 19 and faces several state and federal charges, including attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction."
      By their definition all countries have wmds.(wiener mobile drivers)
  • KnightMareInc, on 04/30/2008, -4/+36too bad jesus has cloak of invisibility
    • nolemonplease, on 04/30/2008, -0/+5or invincibility?
      • Bilabrin, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1And wouldn't ya know, the one time he popped out the the house without it........
        • coyote1284, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Sure, but he passed his saving rolls against death and convinced the DM to allow him to heal himself. I hear the rolls were all 20's, too.
    • dieskiddy, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2or cloak of nonexistance.
  • lukeduke, on 04/30/2008, -5/+14Why didn't he just wait on Him to come back?
    • shouldnot, on 04/30/2008, -1/+1he doesnt know if his life will be enough for his arrival :)
    • Herostratus, on 04/30/2008, -0/+6Dont tell anyone, but I'm right here.
    • Dystisis, on 04/30/2008, -0/+0HIM is a terrible band.
  • bosssmiley, on 04/30/2008, -1/+11I thought Jonathan Teatime died at the end of "Hogfather". Didn't know he'd been reincarnated in South Carolina.
    "...he often used to lie awake in bed at night and think of ways to kill not only the Hogfather, but also the Tooth Fairy and the Soul Cake Tuesday Duck..." (quoted at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Teatime#Mr_Teatim ... ).
    • blankb, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2damn i got so lost on the wikipedia link
      i got so into it i started reading the discworld page now i wanna read the books thanks dude
  • WorkingDead, on 04/30/2008, -3/+13Wont he just keep resurrecting? Seems kind of futile.....
    • TheInfamousOne, on 04/30/2008, -1/+6damn shammies and their stupid re-pops
    • mhummel, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2He was hoping to catch Him while He's out of range of a resurrection ship.
    • Nidy1, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2You need to kill him with a signature poison. It takes 1d20 years to make, but its completely worth it. If Jesus fails to roll a natural 20 on a d20 after exposed to the poison, he dies. After that, the only thing that can bring him back is a true resurrection cast in combination with a wish or miracle within 24 hours.

      Duh.
  • plizard, on 04/30/2008, -21/+3breaker 1-9, breaker 1-9, we got a dumb ass who thinks he's Jesus. Requesting backup, over.
    • panteradactyl, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1breaker, breaker 1-9 we have an idiot in digg that...... oh forget it, its not worth it.
  • digitalhippie, on 04/30/2008, -0/+21Have to admit, that was one of the funniest things I've heard all morning. Though it really shouldn't be funny.
  • MojoJonJon, on 04/30/2008, -5/+7so this is where the WMDs were all along, with this kid! silly us... sorry Iraq!
  • skuk, on 04/30/2008, -8/+24"Prosecutors argued in a federal courtroom that the statements are an indication that 18-year-old Ryan Schallenberger needs a psychological evaluation"
    Lol, i notice they didn't specify which statements as its likely the prosecutors themselves believe in a magic man in the sky.
    • airquotes, on 04/30/2008, -0/+5good point, its like "he must be crazy cuz he wants to kill jesus and jesus is, as everyone knows, realy really nice!"
    • bonk2k, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Yeah but even if you were a christian, its still pretty ***** up to think that anyone could kill jesus.
  • FriedTurkey, on 04/30/2008, -32/+12I am sure the intolerant Athiest contingent (not to be confused by the majority of Athiests/Agnositics who don't care what other people believe) will use this as an excuse to say if we didn't have religions this wouldn't have happened and the world would be this magical place without wars. I am pretty sure this mentally disturbed kid would have latched on to something else.
    • AuriniDMJ, on 04/30/2008, -3/+18Look guys! Strawman!
      • diggrific, on 04/30/2008, -2/+3Look guys! Reality avoidance!
      • FriedTurkey, on 04/30/2008, -1/+6The strawman is a few comments below:

        "Another religious nut case. I hear a lot of anti-American rhetoric on this web site mostly based on false facts, under education and lack of common sense inducing life experience. This really is a legitimate criticism of the US though. There really are too many people in this country running around carrying the "meme" handed down from their parents and supported by their friends and family that makes them believe that their is an IMAGINARY friend in the sky that is going to fix their problems!!! Its downright embarrassing!!"
        • dood, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2 Let's just agree that they're both strawmen arguments and move on.
        • coyote1284, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1"There really are too many people in this country running around carrying the "meme" handed down from their parents"
          Obviously, the "meme" is not Milhouse.
      • coyote1284, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1BURN IT!
    • kreejo, on 04/30/2008, -11/+3I'm very much in the Theist category, and from what I've seen there's no possible way that God does not exist, but regardless of my evidence there will be arguments. This works both ways, there are things that maybe I can't say against Atheists, but my belief is that Jesus IS real, if anyone doesn't agree with that, fair enough, we're all entitled to our own opinions :)

      God Bless
      • CAPITALLETTERS, on 04/30/2008, -5/+15I'm very much in the Pastafarian category, and from what I've seen there's no possible way that the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not exist, but regardless of my evidence there will be arguments. This works both ways, there are things that maybe I can't say against Christians, but my belief is that the Flying Spaghetti Monster IS real, if anyone doesn't agree with that, fair enough, we're all entitled to our own opinions. :)

        RAmen.
        • acero47, on 04/30/2008, -3/+4I'll digg you up because Ramen at the end was funny, but I'm sick of this argument as an answer. The difference between something made up right now (e.g. Flying Spaghetti Monster) and God is the Bible. I know that it has no scientific credibility (enter faith), but there are extra-Biblical texts that confirm things in the Bible, and there are multiple ancient documents that reinforce the same thing. When you produce a book that is over 2000 years old telling the story of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, then the FSM and God might be on the same page (so to speak).
        • corfe83, on 04/30/2008, -0/+4The age of a document has nothing to do with its validity.

          There are multiple documents that support the FSM, not just the FSM Gospel.

          The point is that both the Bible and the Gospel of the FSM claim to be primary sources of the deity they propose. To debate one or the other's validity, debate the evidence supporting each.
        • coyote1284, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3There are several recently discovered texts, currently being translated by scholars into English, indicating that "God" in fact is a Japanese schoolgirl by the name of Haruhi Suzumiya. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haruhi_Suzumiya_(ligh ...
        • Azerael, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1I believe the native Australian Aboriginals have claim to the oldest surviving religion. Therefore, if we're using age as a measure for accuracy, the Bible's 2000 years doesn't hold a candle to the 40,000 odd years of the aboriginal belief system.
      • ultar6, on 05/01/2008, -2/+0I'd love to see your evidence. Until then, I'm digging into a plate of noodles smothered in a delectable tomato sauce flavored with Italian herbs and savory bits of sausage. There actually is a plate of spaghetti waiting for me (ironic, huh?). I don't think your 'evidence' will be so tangible.
    • gyrfalcon, on 04/30/2008, -2/+5It also looks like they would rather just digg you down than respond to what you said. Go figure :(
      • lamiaconfitor, on 04/30/2008, -7/+4We can't just keep entertaining your stupidity, it's time to evolve or get the ***** off the planet.
    • captric, on 04/30/2008, -8/+5WEll, one thing I am sure of is that this kid was NOT an ATHEIST! He actually believes in this imaginary friend called Jesus to the extent that he THOUGHT that he could die and go to that magical place in the sky where there are no wars and where Jesus lives according to Christians and kill him!
    • CAPITALLETTERS, on 04/30/2008, -4/+4He believes in Jesus, by my definition that makes him a theist.
      • FriedTurkey, on 04/30/2008, -3/+2You missed my point and proved my point in one sentence. Thanks!
    • SharkyTech, on 04/30/2008, -8/+5"I am pretty sure this mentally disturbed kid would have latched on to something else."
      Ah, yes, but would he have been as mentally disturbed if it weren't for the existence of religion.
    • abuelos84, on 04/30/2008, -0/+3"Athiests/Agnositics" -> I can see right thru you man.. Well played.
    • cricket01, on 04/30/2008, -4/+4Why would we ever want to rid the world of religion when it precipitates such entertaining news headlines?
    • spacedog800, on 04/30/2008, -1/+2I've been in Iraq for the last 8 months. I can tell you first hand if we didn't have religions the world would be a better place. There would be instant peace in the middle east.
      • FriedTurkey, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Nah it is human nature to just kill over differences. If everyone was exactly the same except some people had blue eyes and other brown eyes - there would be wars between the different eye color people.
  • captaindoobers, on 04/30/2008, -9/+118Peter Griffin: As you know, we of the Christian faith believe that Jesus is not really dead, but that he must let the world think that he is dead. Until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.

    *holds up a picture of Incredible Hulk*
    • tidu, on 04/30/2008, -1/+30Peter Griffin: As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living! So we all sing Christmas Carols to lull him back to sleep.
  • AuriniDMJ, on 04/30/2008, -3/+14None of you have brought up the worst of it - he was *throwing chairs because he didn't want to walk his little sister to her grandpa's!* Seriously, think about that - what an ungrateful little *****! If you're kid's getting away with destructive behaviour, it's just proof that you don't beat him enough.
  • robthom, on 04/30/2008, -8/+24Fat chance getting through Chuck Norris first.