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Strangest eBay Feedback

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  • MikeonTV, on 05/12/2008, -4/+911I'd hate to hear what he would have done if shipping was late!
    • jemka, on 05/12/2008, -2/+90Ask if you prefer jelly or syrup.
    • megamod, on 05/12/2008, -10/+4give you the extra slippery soap bar in prison? you know...the one that you're always afraid of dropping even at the comfort at your own home.
    • superal1394, on 05/12/2008, -1/+110Instead of office chair package contained bobcat... would not buy again.
    • blackjack75, on 05/12/2008, -1/+16If the item was late he'd have written the complete sentence:
      "I'd protect you, coz you'd be MY bitch".
    • mCanada, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2The thing is his profile is over 10 years old. '97 , and 5000 positives. You could get a pretty penny for the account. So he must be getting sick of the business or something? Why chance bad publicity?
      • wwnexc, on 05/12/2008, -0/+7There is no such thing as bad publicity. All publicity is good.
        • unionaire, on 05/12/2008, -2/+2bad publicity is better than no publicity.
        • rabidbob, on 05/12/2008, -3/+2I'm not sure scientology would agree with you right now ... :-)
          • molochi, on 05/13/2008, -0/+1You'd be wrong 'bout that. Cults thrive on notoriety.
      • ZoolTool, on 05/12/2008, -0/+0He has been leaving that comment on and off since November of 2003.
    • dungar, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4can you pick up the soap plz?
    • Archer007, on 05/12/2008, -2/+14My favorite ebay feedback: http://digg.com/odd_stuff/hilarious_eBay_feedback_ ...
      • junglejay, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4lol funny stuff
      • rrbest, on 05/12/2008, -0/+5You should have just copied and pasted. I would have believed you, I promise.
      • Fijster, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4Holy crap that guy's feedbacks are hilarious.
        "great seller—believes ANYTHING you tell him—accepts Monopoly money"
      • molochi, on 05/13/2008, -0/+1"$$ recieved via PAYPAL this A.M.—Told Johnny the hit IS ON—Will provide photos."

        LOL. What a great cover.
    • tama00, on 05/12/2008, -3/+1I bet he will be in the showers like, "leave soberirshman21 ALONE! IM SERIOUS!! "

      and they will both get done up the bum.
    • teaBagger, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2If shipping was late he would have to "Toss the Salad"
    • wild, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1I've seen it. It was the longest night of my life...
    • mrASSMAN, on 05/12/2008, -0/+5Heh.. I sent him a message and got a response:

      me: "Lmao, I love your feedback comments."

      him: "Until someone sent me a link to the "Strangest Feedback" site, I had no idea why I was getting so many e-mails.

      I've been slacking on the comments lately, so you and your bretheren have inspired me to come up with some new ones.

      Thanks again. That site and the user comments gave me a huge belly laugh. Moreover, I had forgotten about many of the comments I left over the years!

      - kingcutie"

    • vmeeno, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1I would spank you in the shower?
  • AlexBellisBrown, on 05/12/2008, -3/+501In prison, you need all the friends you can get.
    • OmEGa8943, on 05/12/2008, -3/+9so say we all..
      • laronde20, on 05/12/2008, -10/+5On the internet, we need all the friends we can get :)
    • TheNinjaJesus, on 05/12/2008, -1/+13lol, reminds me of Squirrel Master and Kenny from Half-Baked...
    • JakeyG14, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1As opposed to "husbands"?
    • expo1001, on 05/12/2008, -0/+5Anything can happen when two people share a cell, cuz.
      • DeadlyAlpaca, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2The happiest moment of George Michael's life.

        (Side note: odd, Firefox thinks Michael's should be Mikael's)
      • InsanePenguin08, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2HAHA, oh how I miss you Arrested Development....
    • kelliw, on 05/12/2008, -2/+0Friends, yes. But that is sort of weird.
    • tillerman00, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4"Anybody come at you yet?"
      "Excuse me?"
      "Anybody get to you? We all need friends in here."
      *walks out of shower*
      "Hard to get. I like that."
    • busybenj, on 05/12/2008, -1/+1In prison, friends get you.
  • nizzy1115, on 05/12/2008, -3/+454I wonder what the item sold was.
    • Aharoni, on 05/12/2008, -3/+415Soap.
    • BTraina, on 05/12/2008, -4/+83prison protection service
    • donkeyshow, on 05/12/2008, -2/+57one handcrafted shank.
    • threemagic, on 05/12/2008, -7/+11a tossed salad?
    • murdocsvan, on 05/12/2008, -15/+10A book titled "How to protect people in the Shower. In Prison"
    • GodsDragon, on 05/12/2008, -2/+70I looked it up.... It was a Blendtec Blender lol
      • PunkRampant, on 05/12/2008, -2/+58Totally irrelevant... but I just wondered if they ever tried blending one of their own blenders, and whether the fabric of space would rip apart.
        • fireproofsoul25, on 05/12/2008, -4/+5I think you are on to something there.... *Calls up Black Mesa* Hey guys I know how to make a portal that could ultimately end our world but before that would place its fate in the hands of one of your theoretical physicists!
        • oscenester, on 05/12/2008, -3/+1The cake is a lie
      • 3toe, on 05/12/2008, -11/+5Will it blend?
        ...
        Too forced.
      • mrASSMAN, on 05/12/2008, -1/+2I think it can be concluded that it was a digger then..
    • synyster, on 05/12/2008, -2/+3jonhson's baby oil
    • MacSuxWindozSux, on 05/12/2008, -3/+2Butt Plug? BUTT PLUG. BUTT - PLUG.
      http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/385024/
      -Howard Stern
      • filovirus, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1That is Ack Ack you ass, not Hoo Hoo.

        Make my day, Jew
  • GOVATENT, on 05/12/2008, -1/+77If anyone has a link to the item please share.
  • BoonTobias, on 05/12/2008, -10/+2one of the comments has "smacswholesale"
    no luck, someone must find it!
  • coollettuce, on 05/12/2008, -3/+310Found it. http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeed ...
    • beanland, on 05/12/2008, -1/+33My personal favorite is the little dialog he had with sandosan59 on Nov. 22, 2007: "LUZR SELLER WOULD NOT CAPITULATE"
      • koenigje, on 05/12/2008, -8/+3Wow you win the internets for tonight!
    • drall.kj, on 05/12/2008, -1/+108Here is the feed back that he left for everyone he bought from.

      http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeed ...

      • paradox4190, on 05/12/2008, -0/+44We go together like asparagus and pungent urine! A perfect fit. A++++

        Mar-09-05 16:43
      • alienunknown, on 05/12/2008, -0/+20WTF????? lol

        If you were an acorn and I were a squirrel, I would put you in my mouth! A+++++ Feb-23-08 08:06
      • Mechanicat, on 05/12/2008, -0/+14If you were an acorn and I were a squirrel, you would be stuffed in my cheek!!! Who is this genius?
      • RickyHo, on 05/12/2008, -0/+50If I were a mutant, I'd give this buyer THREE THUMBS UP! A+++
        • ZeroNeo, on 05/12/2008, -0/+12well, i'm stealing that one!
        • cvindustries, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1This one might be on digg for a while.
      • mrbradg, on 05/12/2008, -0/+17This guy had some awesome comments I would have to say.
      • Phych, on 05/12/2008, -0/+22If you've got a crack that needs filling, I'll bring the caulk! A+ eBayer!!!

        Just awesome.
      • tidu, on 05/12/2008, -0/+5If you were my child, I'd give you a Shetland Pony!
      • cowsgonemadd3, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1Glad I am not a acorn!
      • nycmac247, on 05/12/2008, -2/+2LOL queen alert
      • JakeyG14, on 05/12/2008, -7/+1If you were a blowup doll then I'd "make love" to you. (He's not wrote that yet, but it's on the cards)
      • Sil369, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1If I were the President, you would definitely be in my cabinet
      • t12ek, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2If I were a dog, your leg would be in danger.
      • Mendeleev135, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1If you were an acorn and I were a squirrel, you would be stuffed in my cheek! A+

        I wish I was this individual xD (either one of them =P)
      • mrASSMAN, on 05/12/2008, -0/+10lol some of his buyers appreciated his feedback..

        "Best Feedback EVER! Makes me proud to be an oxygen breather!"
        "I can finally pick up the soap...thanks King! I'll watch you back in the yard:)"
        "Thanks...I think. But if I go to prison, I'm never bathing!"
        "Well i don't know if that was an indirect pass or not but thanks"
        "What's the catch?"
    • Jrr6415sun, on 05/12/2008, -0/+18Reply by mr_good_buys (Oct-26-04 18:03):
      I think that was a complement
      o
      Follow-up by woodtechnologies (Jan-11-05 03:43):
      Yes it was. Booyakasha!
    • xmizzbojanglesx, on 05/12/2008, -1/+6woodtechnologies..
    • StarExtreme, on 05/12/2008, -0/+9That guy loves A+'s! A+++
    • Locke23, on 05/12/2008, -0/+12If you were an acorn and I were a squirrel, you would be stuffed in my cheek! A+
    • springboks, on 05/12/2008, -2/+3The initial image shows the feedback from a purple star and a longer name seller(blurred out). Same feedback, diffrent user.
      • ichunxo, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2Star color change = more transactions have occurred.
        Also, name changes are allowed on ebay.
    • faizal5k, on 05/12/2008, -0/+8kingcutie...that explains it.
    • dtr18c, on 05/12/2008, -0/+20These feedback comments have got to beat the prison comment:
      http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeed ...
      • clickx, on 05/12/2008, -0/+5rofl wtf.
        "A+ I wept for 27 min—then I laughed for 42—then fell unconscious 'till next day—"
      • PubStomp, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1"No, hairlips DO NOT give great fellatio"!
      • nicktheawesome, on 05/12/2008, -0/+3A+ HUMAN head preserved inside a clear-lucite BOWLING ball—was this a relative?
      • raz98, on 05/12/2008, -0/+7this is the best : "roses are red-violets are blue-i steal stuff from Walmart-and sell it to you."
        lol
      • coldeve, on 05/12/2008, -0/+6I haven't read them all but I reckon this is the best:
        "RANSOM RECIEVED—Timmy in locker#17, Port Authority, NYC—alive when last checked"
      • mrASSMAN, on 05/12/2008, -0/+11"great seller—believes ANYTHING you tell him—accepts Monopoly money."
      • alieneggsac, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2I note that March 10, 2003, is when this ebayer went of the deep end.
    • lukekim91, on 05/12/2008, -2/+0OH MY GOSH: Look at his ebay user id.

      Buyer:
      woodtechnologies ( 976 [Feedback score is 500 to 999] )

    • ohmysac, on 05/12/2008, -0/+7We go together like asparagus and pungent urine! A perfect fit. A++++
      http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeed ...
      lulz

    • Qeveren, on 05/12/2008, -4/+1Bahahaha!

      "We go together like asparagus and pungent urine! A perfect fit. A++++"
    • uhhNo, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1for the woodtechnologies guy, this was the item
      http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item ...
      (a blentec blender)... sweet
    • broeks, on 05/12/2008, -1/+3If I were a mutant, I'd give you three thumbs up!
    • DarkMetalDoll, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1Lol, His negative feedbacks given:
      "Confucius says; Ebay not like bowling, man with most strikes loses game."
      Positive: "If we were fighting for the same girl, I'd take sloppy seconds. A+ Ebayer! :)"

      He is so awesome.
  • YourPal, on 05/12/2008, -1/+71Profile = soberirshman21
    Joker = woodtechnologies

    He leaves the same comment for everyone apparently - edit
    • arjung, on 05/12/2008, -1/+28not always... http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeed ...

      sometimes he says: "If I were the President, you would definitely be in my cabinet. A++++"
    • ModernChem, on 05/12/2008, -0/+22he also says "If you were an acorn and I were a squirrel, I would put you in my mouth! A+++++"
      • thirty6chambers, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4that one is just as awesome or maybe more.
      • Ogopogo, on 05/12/2008, -0/+3he sounds like he writes opening the intro lines for Greg Gutfeld "Red Eye" on Fox News
    • bigfrank06, on 05/12/2008, -0/+23"If I were a mutant, I'd give you three thumbs up! A++++++++"
    • KingGorilla, on 05/12/2008, -0/+11"If you were a bee, I wouldn't wear my safety suit! A+++++" I don't even know
    • Urzeitlich, on 05/12/2008, -0/+8"We go together like asparagus and pungent urine! A perfect fit. A++++"
    • n3demonic, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4If you've got a crack that needs filling, I'll bring the caulk!

      you know... that sounds much dirtier when i say it out loud.
    • Jogga, on 05/12/2008, -1/+0Wood Technology?
      He must be from not-Spain.
    • Psythik, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2"If we were fighting for the same girl, I'd take sloppy seconds. A+ Ebayer! :)"
  • plimpton777, on 05/12/2008, -34/+22By "protect" you "in the shower," does he mean he would wear a condom while he raeps you?
    • ClevelandBrown, on 05/12/2008, -1/+19I thought it was funny.
      • gdehms, on 05/12/2008, -1/+10The "raeps" kinda killed it. Also, his phrasing could have been a tad more clever.
        • anbublackops, on 05/12/2008, -0/+3The "raeps" was what made it so funny. I agree about the phrasing though.
    • q1006662, on 05/12/2008, -0/+8you sound like a lolcat
  • supyonamesjosh, on 05/12/2008, -3/+53A++ they all say.... they looove me on Ebay - Weird Al
  • RawrAtYoo, on 05/12/2008, -1/+4You know he would.
  • macweirdo42, on 05/12/2008, -7/+183http://xkcd.com/325/
  • AZTriGuy, on 05/12/2008, -3/+250GREAT POST!! I'LL DIGG IT AGAIN!! A+A+A+ SUBMITTER!!
  • bicyclethief, on 05/12/2008, -12/+5Was the seller's virginity on auction or what? Buy It Now.
    • onionbagel724, on 05/12/2008, -3/+7You forgot the "r" after the "u" in "Buy It Now"
  • mattes5, on 05/12/2008, -2/+12Squirrel Master is that you?
  • KrazyMon2, on 05/12/2008, -1/+7NICE! I want to do business with that guy.
  • shufan, on 05/12/2008, -0/+40Some variation is always nice. Get tired of A+++++++++ QUICK SHIPPING!
    • jordan314, on 05/12/2008, -0/+6The best feedback I got was "One of the scents mixed in with the peanuts reminded me of a passionate weekend." (Positive.) I appreciated the variety but was like WTF?
  • PHiZ187, on 05/12/2008, -4/+29Hrm, possibly a product of the "Ebay feedback generator?"
    http://thesurrealist.co.uk/feedback
    • UsmanB87, on 05/12/2008, -0/+6Sweet. I didn't know a generator existed. It's just more proof for that Boston writer that we're the dumbest generation; I on the other hand think it's pretty cool.
    • goldenratiophi, on 05/12/2008, -0/+11"Seller is hellish and loathsome."

      win
    • XxXKUL, on 05/12/2008, -0/+15there is seriously a generator to make ebay feedback?
      Jesus we are lazy
    • gdehms, on 05/12/2008, -0/+13A randomly generated feedback:
      "The item was incomparable! Immensely breathtaking delivery. The packaging was remarkably dazzling. Peerless service. A+++"
    • PunkRampant, on 05/12/2008, -0/+3Check out some of these gems:

      Immensely unholy quality. Daunting packaging. Ever so eerie quality. Delivery was mean. Haglike packaging. The item was rotten! Packaging was hellish. Rotten delivery. Rotten quality. Delivery was hairy. Notably plain packaging. Item detestable. Haglike packaging. Ever so abhorrent quality! Packaging was grim. Ungodly quality! Remarkably grim delivery. Hateful quality! Packaging was terrifying. Heinous delivery. The item was abhorrent! Unbeautiful packaging. The item was ghastly! Packaging was vile.
    • linkinpark342, on 05/12/2008, -0/+3That was one of the most fun things i've seen all day
  • camilos007, on 05/12/2008, -0/+15Now THAT, is a recommendation of the highest caliber.
  • anchorman, on 05/12/2008, -0/+10George Takei loves you all.... very, VERY much!
  • System6, on 05/12/2008, -2/+136WOW! Hilarious! Check out the other fun stuff he has said! lol

    http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeed ...
    • Farmer77, on 05/12/2008, -0/+33I like this one:

      "If I were a dog, your leg would be in danger. Perfect Transaction! A++++++"

      The prison one is still the best though.
    • Hoogs, on 05/12/2008, -0/+23"If you were a bee, I wouldn't wear my safety suit!"

      This guy cracks me up.
    • camilos007, on 05/12/2008, -1/+17"If you've got a crack that needs filling, I'll bring the caulk! A+ eBayer!!!"
      This guys is funny. Today's comedians can learn alot from this guy...
      • ronpaulite, on 05/12/2008, -0/+8Yeah, especially that Dane Cook guy...
    • glennjw77, on 05/12/2008, -0/+39Some other feedback comments this guy has posted:
      "If I were a mutant, I'd give this buyer THREE THUMBS UP! A+++"
      "This customer can breakdance on my cardboard anytime! A++ Excellent Transaction."
      "If this customer were my child, I'd buy them a Shetland pony! Recommended. A++"
      "I'll be the spackling on your ceiling and the caulk in your cracks! A++ PRAISE!"
      "If you were an acorn and I were a squirrel, I would put you in my mouth! A+++++"
      "To Paraphrase Air Supply, "You're Every eBayer in the World to Me." A++++++"
      And my personal favorite:
      "We go together like asparagus and pungent urine! A perfect fit. A++++"

      I like this guy! The prison one is pretty creepy, though, so I don't know. :)
    • thelock65, on 05/12/2008, -0/+13he buys ALOT of stuff on ebay
    • nicksauce, on 05/12/2008, -0/+7Ok I've never used EBay before, but I find it hard to believe that every transaction on there is A++++++ perfect.
      • DrLeePhD, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1on my 100+ transactions (mostly buying) it's always been very straightforward. sometimes something might take longer than you hope but in general you get what you bid on.
    • 4UIDigg, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2it was only a matter of time before this guy would get famous on Digg
    • diablo75, on 05/12/2008, -1/+2My favorite:

      "If this customer were my child, I'd buy them a Shetland pony! Recommended. A++"
  • four444, on 05/12/2008, -2/+5That's cute.
  • minnymoo, on 05/12/2008, -2/+9that's deep.
  • czeman, on 05/12/2008, -0/+5I bet he bought something from the adult section.
  • shinderpaljandu, on 05/12/2008, -8/+3With the current eBay feedback rules meant for "transparency" sellers are not allowed to leave negative or even neutral comments
    Was this a backhanded negative feedback ?
  • Jablinsk, on 05/12/2008, -3/+15A++++ would read again!
  • waluum, on 05/12/2008, -13/+3A++++++++++++++
    AAA+++
    A+A++A+A+++AAA+A+A++A+A++A+A+A+A+A++++++
  • ZeroIce, on 05/12/2008, -1/+43Makes me wonder what he leaves for negative feedback....
  • UsmanB87, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4No purpose blurring out the names and dates; the feedback is all public information. Nonetheless, interesting find. Made me silently lol.
    • LostAngeles, on 05/12/2008, -0/+19made you SILENTLY laugh out LOUD? dugg for paradox-defying joke
      • PHiZ187, on 05/12/2008, -0/+6Paradox-defying? Wouldn't defying a paradox mean that you make a plain, non-contradictory statement?
      • UsmanB87, on 05/12/2008, -1/+2I was just trying to be more informative with my lol, since not everyone necessarily laughs out loud when they type lol. Silently laughing out loud would identify just that situation when the joke isn't good enough to cause you to laugh out loud but good enough for you to type lol in an internet comment or message.
      • Calcheesmo, on 05/12/2008, -0/+0There is no paradox...it's called an oxymoron, it's rather simple.
  • mikochu, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2I have a friend that used to leave weird positive feedback on ebay all the time. When he first showed them to me, i was like, "Oh, this guy is funny." Then, I realized it was his feedback... funneh.
  • abox, on 05/12/2008, -1/+45Just got finished looking at this guy's other feedback and apparently he leaves lots of feedback like this. My favorite so far (next to the prison one, that is):

    "If I were a mutant, I'd give you three thumbs up! A++++++++"
    • fahrvergnuugen, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1"We go together like asparagus and pungent urine! A perfect fit. A++++"
      is better...
  • NightVortez, on 05/12/2008, -3/+45This guy is a bloody genius...

    "If you were an acorn and I were a squirrel, you would be stuffed in my cheek! A+"

    "If you were a bee, I wouldn't wear my safety suit!"

    "If I were a mutant, I'd give you three thumbs up! A++++++++"
    http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeed ...
    • L33tmaster, on 05/12/2008, -0/+29If I were to win an Oscar, I would thank this buyer in my speech! A+++++
      Fast, reliable and courteous! A trucker's dream if I ever did see one!
      You're the cream in my coffee. Thanks for a great transaction!!! A+++
      You Bring The Peanut Butter; I'll Bring The Jelly. A Sandwich Is Born. A++++
      Excellent! A+++++ If you were a bum, I would you put a dime in your cup.
      I hope this customer agrees to be my Valentine. Smooth, Fast & Courteous. A+++
      If I were a witch, this sweet customer would adorn my candy house! A+++ GREAT!!
      If This Customer Became My Aquatic Pet, I Would Clean Their Tank Daily! A+++++++
      If I Were a Farmer, This eBayer Could Have All of My Wheat! Fast & Easy. A++++
      This Camper Can Stay in My Forest Anytime! Excellent Transaction. A++++
      his Customer Can Stick Their Straw in My Milkshake Anytime! A++++++ Fantastic
      This customer can breakdance on my cardboard anytime! A++ Excellent Transaction.
      I'd like to revert to my youth and make mud pies with this customer. A+++++
      To Quote Air Supply, "Now There's 2 Less Lonely People in the World"--A+++ Buyer
      If I ever learn that unicorns exist, I'll share my secret with this seller. A+++
      This Transaction Was Better Than Steak-Umms! A Difficult Feat to Achieve. A+++++
      May The Impending Millenial Holocaust Spare This Excellent eBayer! A++++++
      A Fantabulous Buyer! A Person One Could See Themselves Having a Child With! A+++
      If you were bitten by a snake, I'd give you First Aid. A+ Buyer. Ebay's Finest!
      • romistrub, on 05/12/2008, -0/+5"If you were a bum, I would you put a dime in your cup."

        LMAO! I gotta start using that one.
  • HomieG6189, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1Cause we're best friends...
  • espowari, on 05/12/2008, -7/+1If we were in prison, I'd penetrate you in the shower.
  • Andyr3w, on 05/12/2008, -2/+2just wouldn't make this guy TOO "happy" by accident! =þ
  • FearFactory, on 05/12/2008, -2/+2He win some soap on a rope or bath and body wash???
  • nunquam, on 05/12/2008, -7/+2Ha Ha Ha! He also left "If you were an acorn and I were a squirrel, I would put you in my mouth! A+++++" for another item.
  • p0pcorns, on 05/12/2008, -2/+2Just the shower?
  • Jeffrr, on 05/12/2008, -2/+63If you were a bee, I wouldn't wear my safety suit!
    They say that every dog has its day. This dog just had his!! A++++ RECOMMENDED
    f I were a mutant, I'd give you three thumbs up! A++++++++
    If I were a patch of skin and you were a bee, I'd let you sting me! Excellent-A+
    We go together like asparagus and pungent urine! A perfect fit. A++++
    If this customer were my child, I'd buy them a Shetland pony! Recommended. A+
    If you've got a crack that needs filling, I'll bring the caulk! A+ eBayer!!!
    • L33tmaster, on 05/12/2008, -0/+8Here's some more:
      If I were a dog, your leg would be in danger. Perfect Transaction! A++++++
      Fast, Friendly and Reliable! More Solid Than a Pet Rock! A++++
      If I were the President, you would definitely be in my cabinet. A++++
      I'll be the spackling on your ceiling and the caulk in your cracks! A++ PRAISE!
      A Great eBayer! Fast, Courteous & Friendly. Slicker than Steak-Umm Grease! A++
  • judicar, on 05/12/2008, -4/+12He's been doing this for at least 5 years though they tend to have a slightly homoerotic overtone.
    some other classics ...
    "We go together like asparagus and pungent urine! A perfect fit."
    "If you've got a crack that needs filling, I'll bring the caulk! A+ eBayer!!!"
    • gdehms, on 05/12/2008, -0/+5I wonder if the fact that his username is KingCutie has anything to do with it..
  • res8qr6m, on 05/12/2008, -1/+17IMHO, it's still not as weird as the package containing bobcat.
  • socivitus, on 05/12/2008, -0/+0He must have gotten a really, really good deal.
  • numbnuts, on 05/12/2008, -1/+48these are better - http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeed ...

    ha ha ha

    ====
    • tidu, on 05/12/2008, -0/+7"as eBay experiences go—this one left me wheezing—sweaty—and slightly bow-legged."
    • Shootfast, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4If you start from the last page, they gradually get more and more insane :P
    • m0zzie, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4what.. the *****
    • naberator, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4I love the confused responses
    • rkiga, on 05/12/2008, -0/+3'Positive feedback rating that song—"You Say Tomato and I Say Tomato" make no sense when you write it down'
    • rkiga, on 05/12/2008, -0/+8"Tuna arrived safe & lives in my pool. I feed it tuna fish sandwiches for irony."
    • rkiga, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2"A+ this Louis Vuitton colostomy bag has helped to ease the*trauma of it all*"
      "you're right—This Beadazzler has saved me a FORTUNE in body piercing costs ALONE"

      oh god, i can't stop
    • Langolas, on 05/12/2008, -0/+6"Found a driedout gerbil carcass at the bottom of the box—AND it had been shaved. Seller:
      Reply
      Customer states he wrote 'joke' feedback BEFORE he Received the Pipe from me.
      Follow-up by tryork5ifp (Jul-16-07 10:05):
      I don't thing that poor gerbil saw the humor at all."
    • dagnome1984, on 05/12/2008, -0/+5"A+ADVICE—my 8YrOld gave up his MySpace password after only 3min of waterboarding"
      "HEATED toilet is great on those chilly mornings AND it makes a DELICIOUS fondue."
    • alittleroy101, on 05/12/2008, -0/+5That guy's profile is an amazing find. Here's one of my favorites from your link:
      The Panties arrived quickly and, as requested, unwashed. I used them to make tea
    • mattbeetee, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1"If only the whole world were made of rubber, it would be a softer, sweatier place."
  • gozu, on 05/12/2008, -0/+8What's so strange? Clearly it is the best feedback a man could ever give.
  • gl77, on 05/12/2008, -0/+8Boggs: "Hey! Did anyone come at you yet?"
    Andy: "Huh?"
    Boggs: "Did anyone GET to you?"
    Andy: (turns away)
    Boggs: "Hey we all need friends in here, I could be a friend to you."

    • userperson, on 05/12/2008, -1/+1He must've received what was under the volcanic rock which has no business being in a hay field.
      (that was very different in the short story).
      Don't recall any rape in the short-story, but it's been awhile.
  • PosedMagnet, on 05/12/2008, -9/+0What the ***** is with the idiots on eBay?

    AAAAA++++++++++++++++++ WTF WILLBUYAGAIN LOL A++++++++

    Quit that *****. Prime example of herd mentality. Someone sees someone else post "A++++++++" and everyone follows suit.

    Makes no sense.
  • TehUberGeeK, on 05/12/2008, -2/+62My favorites from some seller I don't remember.

    great seller—believes ANYTHING you tell him—accepts Monopoly money
    LOVE the bar of soap—being from France, I may need to buy another in a year or 2
    Dispite the seller's blatant violation of child exploitaion & labor laws—A+++
    Seller sent package via JEHOVA'S WITNESS. Jerk Wouldn't leave till I converted!
    FYI: When using Cheetos as packing—in the future—I DO prefer the crunchy kind.
    the box you sent was stamped 'BELONGS TO PANDORA'—I'm afraid to open it.
    GREAT SELLER! PS-there were nail-clippings in the box; I chewed them. THANX!
    The Panties arrived quickly and, as requested, unwashed. I used them to make tea
    Simply the GREATEST OBJECT I've ever recieved. Will burn all my other possesions
  • dhVyse, on 05/12/2008, -2/+2"We go together like asparagus and pungent urine! A perfect fit. A++++"
    My favorite.
  • trackersNZ, on 05/12/2008, -2/+2That's what you get for selling Soap on EBAY *frown*
  • gummyoverload, on 05/12/2008, -1/+2mirror: http://i29.tinypic.com/x52viv.jpg
  • lordwow, on 05/12/2008, -1/+4If I were a mutant, I'd give you three thumbs up!
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