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95 Comments
- Idealistic, on 10/12/2007, -10/+244Dear Co-Workers,
As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.
Over the past three years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, “mostly satisfactory.” That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.
Very truly yours,
[Name_Withheld] - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -4/+48Eh cute story but I'm calling BS. This story has been floating around blogs for a while... it certainly wasn't an e-mail sent "today" as the story claims.
http://news.hereisthecity.com/news/business_news/6459.cntns
http://blogorrah.com/seriously-dude-next-time-just-send-them-an-anonymous-photocopy-of-your-arse.html - lynkdead, on 10/12/2007, -11/+33"That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch."
The writer is a man, not a woman. - PoserDad, on 10/12/2007, -4/+21copy, paste and send........ perfect!
- NiteMayr, on 10/12/2007, -1/+17Yeah, it's been around for a while: http://www.chriskula.com/2005/08/farewell-email.html
- iCallShotgun, on 10/12/2007, -5/+20Oh my lord, this letter just made me rofl pretty hard.
"Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express." - Movieman, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12the funny part was cut from the original email. It goes like this:
...But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:
To Caulfield: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having clearly labeled it with my name.
To Mairead: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.
To Linda: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these "email forwards." I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.
And finally, to Kat: you were right - I tested positive. We'll talk later.
... - rajulkabir, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11I assume the intention was: Soak up the experience like one soaks up a good woman.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+10wow what a wonderful letter. hate to break it to you though, most jobs are like that so good luck finding another one.
- norris, on 10/12/2007, -12/+19I think we need at least 8 more people to post the text on digg.
- atomicSpatule, on 10/12/2007, -10/+17No need to post it forty times people. Digg the first one, bury the others.
- sdphost, on 10/12/2007, -17/+23when was the last time dugmirror caught something?
- dvddesign, on 10/12/2007, -7/+13It's a cute joke, but it'll come to bite them in the ass later on. Anything positive she did, any good projects she got accomplished, are gone, 'cause anyone that saw that will be called by a future employer of hers asking if she's rehireable, and they'll say no.
If the interviewer asks her why they can't get a posititve reference from that place, I'm sure her new future hiring manager would love to read this letter. New bosses love to hear how you like to burn bridges. - mt066, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6Oh *****, I just quit my job today and sent an email to everyone, and that headline scared the hell out of me for a second. This guy's was better though.
- Tarnum, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5In similar situation, I'd leave a backdoor in the system.
- jpurnell, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5The original is not from Ireland, it is from Chris Kula, an improviser and performer at the UCB Theatre in New York.
http://www.chriskula.com/2005/08/farewell-email.html - cpuenvy, on 10/12/2007, -8/+13I wish I was as eloquent as this writer, when leaving jobs in the past. Great letter!
- computerdave, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4from the sound of the letter, I'm sure he won't be putting them as a reference in the future anyway.
- spunkz, on 10/12/2007, -4/+8Well, that's a good way to keep someone from giving a good reference in the future.
- dyonak, on 10/12/2007, -3/+7@AbstractEgo
Stop Wearing Out Your Shift Key. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6I think they might just be reading one of the 12 copy/paste jobs now on this thread...
- lucid270, on 10/12/2007, -3/+7unless they don't care and are leaving the job for a better one already lined up.
- FearlessFreep, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4Not 'hilarious', maybe a little chuckle. Not over the top enough to be overtly funny but not sarcastically subtle enough to be slyly funny.
and the writer better pray that he/she never needs this job as a reference. - TastyBaconTreat, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5Dear ______
After an appropriate period of deliberation, I have come to the decision to tender my resignation from (company name), effective _________________.
Please know that I still maintain a high level of respect for you as a manager and colleague, and I thank you sincerely for the support and assistance you have offered me in each of those roles. I have been proud to work for (company name) over the past eight years; it has been a journey that has provided me with an unparalleled foundation to move forward to new and exciting opportunities.
As such, I have decided to become a professional pirate. It has always been a dream of mine to live the life of a swashbuckling corsair, beholden to none and master of all I survey. Once my crew of unabashed rogues is assembled, we shall take to the capacious expanse of the high seas to pursue fortune, fame, and hair-raising adventure.
Our path may not be filled with the porcine comforts and technological marvels that (company name) provides, but we shall nonetheless move forward to carve a name for ourselves in the annals of bold insurgency and death-defying derring-do. Once I have a keen blade at my hip and the Jolly Roger is flapping high above me, I believe I will find my true calling.
Please note that I am currently accepting applications for First Officer, if you are at all interested in applying. I will provide a full medical and dental plan, which will offer immediate coverage of all maladies other than scurvy and the occasional bout of rickets.
Sincerely - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5Soak a good woman I could understand ;)
Soak UP a good woman makes a lot less sense - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2As soon as someone uses the words 'trust me', I know that that person cannot be trusted.
ergo... - investr, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3Original and the reason.
http://home.eircom.net/content/unison/national/9796675?view=Eircomnet - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2There's a lot in this article that does not appear within the original text.
I suspect that the guy you link to copied the original from the net and added his own bits to make it more personal.
" He said the text had been pulled off the internet and was meant as a joke." - spunkz, on 10/12/2007, -2/+4-lucid- Good point, though it's always nice to have references in reserve.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -3/+5I think keyboardduder was pointing out this line:
"So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime."
Is there some form of gender confusion going on here?
On topic, I would love to write a leaving email like this, but I doubt I'd ever have the guts :( - fizasist, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2> Digg down repeats! Digg down redundancy that is redundant! Digg down repeats!
Dugg down for repeating yourself. - curtosrules, on 10/12/2007, -2/+3who ***** cares, this is not funny. DUGG DOWN
- sqeakingkev, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1"So long and thanks for all the fish."
- dvddesign, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2Why bother? Half your co-workers are too stoned to care, and the other ones gave up long long ago on life. Do yourself a favor this weekend. Get the 'rents to float you some cash for a week or two and go find yourself a better job. If you're over 18 you've got your pick of the litter. I know when I have kids, I won't let them consider retail for a part/full time job in college. Those jobs are dead end jokes that give you ZERO real world skills. Unless you plan on staying there like your 45 year old night manager/boss.
Honestly, there's not a lot of "glorious" jobs out there for the 15-20 year old set, but guys, Wal-Mart, McD's, and Best Buy look like ass on a resume compared to working in the field of your chosen future profession. And YES there will be SOMETHING out there that's hiring. The hours are going to be difficult but accomodating somewhere... Unless you want to be a tax attorney or a congressional page. Then you're screwed. - darlok, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1it's not real....
- Thuktun, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Some company actually contacts previous employers and asks more than to confirm their previous employment and [possibly] salary? All the HR people I've talked to have said that they don't give out evaluations of previous employees for fear of legal action from said previous employee. Employers I've interviewed with have contacted references I've given them, which are usually previous co-workers, but that's slightly different.
- Jerim, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Worst part of that story is the apology. What does any person have to apologize for? The problem with most modern businesses is that you can't be an open and honest person. You have to just sit there, be quiet, and do as you are told. Perhaps an email is the worst way to do it, but I wouldn't feel sorry if what was said came from the heart.
- daRoach, on 10/12/2007, -3/+3"an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium."
- MrSketch, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2You're right, it hasn't been doing very well lately. I would think that it would be looking at the upcoming stories and see what is about to hit the front page and mirror it _before_ it's made popular. But hey, that's just me I guess.
- musicbear, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2It's a fake letter... it never happened... it was just a good exercise in creative writing... it's also been around for a few years now... though there are people who do a farewell bomb of an e-mail when leaving - I do believe Leo Laporte had a funny story about a techtv employee who letter bombed everyone with a scathing e-mail... that would be a funny clip to dig up for you tube...
- jerbaker, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1Her future hiring manager would be a dick if that letter had any effect on his hiring decision, and that would be a very good sign that he's probably the same as the manager he or she was leaving. What manager cares if someone expresses their displeasure at their former job? More importantly is why would they care? Would you be afraid that they might tell someone if you are a dick manager? The culture of quiet is a large reason most organizations are so dismal to work at ... no honest feedback = no improvement.
- thenativeraver, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1Access forbidden!
You don't have permission to access the requested directory. There is either no index document or the directory is read-protected.
If you think this is a server error, please contact the webmaster.
Error 403
theendofdave.com
Sat Feb 17 00:56:00 2007
Apache/2.0.54 (Debian GNU/Linux) mod_auth_pgsql/2.0.2b1 mod_ssl/2.0.54 OpenSSL/0.9.7e
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
http://www.duggmirror.com/offbeat_news/Someone_From_Work_Left_Today_And_His_Goodbye_E_Mail_Was_Hilarious/ - jeliel, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1Well I had never read it before, but trust me, he did send it to everyone at work. He's that kind of guy, the kind of guy to tell the boss he's a prick to his face. I send you the header info of the e-mail but I cant share that information publicly. Anyway I just thought it was funny as hell. The boss wanted to forward it to the director and the VP.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -3/+1Some bridges are burnt some are blown to hell. I got to leave a company abruptly and that feels good when you can drop them on their head at short notice like they do to you.
- theOster, on 10/12/2007, -5/+3Here's a real one:
Subject:
I think this is my last day
Body:
Hi:
I think this is my last day here as far as I know. I won't be in on Monday.
If there are any questions on the work I've done, please let me know and I will reply promptly, thank you. My number is on the contact list.
- ph1sh55, on 10/12/2007, -4/+1Digg down repeats! Digg down redundancy that is redundant! Digg down repeats!
Or, just realize that people's posts fly in here prettty rapidly and people don't see that the content has already been posted, and ignore it.
Just seems kind of silly to see loads of diggdowns on each one of the repeats. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -5/+1i want a picture of this person so we could all make .gifs and just laugh at the waste.
- omnithought, on 10/12/2007, -6/+2Digg down repeats! Digg down redundancy that is redundant! Digg down repeats!
Or, just realize that people's posts fly in here prettty rapidly and people don't see that the content has already been posted, and ignore it.
Just seems kind of silly to see loads of diggdowns on each one of the repeats. - lucid270, on 10/12/2007, -5/+1parent is on-topic, turn off auto-bury
- modpancake, on 10/12/2007, -6/+1Just in case, here's yet another copy for the comments page:
Dear Co-Workers,
As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.
Over the past three years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, “mostly satisfactory.” That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.
Very truly yours,
[Name_Withheld] -
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