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Never Try to Steal a Law Student's Laptop

switched.com — The student was willing to let the intruder take his wallet and guitars. Then the robber made the mistake that ultimately landed him in the hospital -- he went for the laptop.

Who dugg this? Made popular Nov 16, 2008

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574 Comments

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  • jaypooner, on 11/16/2008, -6/+1508at least he wasnt trying to steal weed from a philosophy student
  • Shiftyeyedgoat, on 11/16/2008, -20/+849And in a fit of intense irony, the law student then represents the alleged criminal during his upcoming trial.

  • jvincent08, on 11/16/2008, -1/+601Any geek in computer science would have several offsite backup servers for situations such as these, silly.
  • galeninjapan, on 11/16/2008, -21/+548We should ban bats. It's obvious that bat crimes are out of control.
  • chicaneuk, on 11/16/2008, -4/+511I AM THE LAW!!!

    *punch punch punch*
  • inactive, on 11/16/2008, -10/+398Could you imagine if that had been a Computer Science student?
  • Hinducow28, on 11/16/2008, -7/+361"Give me back my laptop!"
    "No."
    "Sudo give me back my laptop"
    "...goddamnit."
  • marv0, on 11/16/2008, -36/+319I can haz laptop?

    NO. NO YOU CAN NOT
  • Chairboy, on 11/16/2008, -0/+246Based on that picture, perhaps they could add on a secondary charge of Misdemeanor Looking Like A Douchebag.
  • Thinkerofthings, on 11/16/2008, -6/+246The robber would get away while the philosophy student pondered...

    Hey where's my peyote
  • vsujohn2, on 11/16/2008, -1/+229You'd become Canadian?
  • inactive, on 11/16/2008, -5/+179Hear that? That's the sound of a thousand lonely male Diggers checking your profile.
  • mescad, on 11/16/2008, -2/+168Yep, my first thought was that the student should have had that much work backed up.

    My second thought was that I need to backup my own work...
  • iJessicaRabbit, on 11/16/2008, -38/+195I'd do the same; I pride myself on my little modded out Linux laptop, if anyone tried to steal it they'd have to deal with one pissed off female on an adrenaline rush. That robber would go down.
  • CJankeLOLv2, on 11/16/2008, -25/+173a female on digg!?
  • Teku, on 11/16/2008, -3/+150Humm rather foolish of the guy not to backup his work... However I would probably do the same, or try to anyway.
  • jvincent08, on 11/16/2008, -2/+148Perhaps he didn't feel like killing the guy.
  • JonHs, on 11/16/2008, -5/+150"Dude, no -- please, no! I have all my case notes...that's four months of work!" means "Dude, no -- please, no! I have all my porn...that's four months of downloads!"
  • jon31rm, on 11/16/2008, -1/+137Sure, some people use bats for playing baseball. But a bat in the home is 92.8% more likely to be used against a person's head.
  • TotalHalibut, on 11/16/2008, -19/+154Linux user? I'm surprised you can move under your own power.
  • mrmayor92, on 11/16/2008, -25/+159no you wouldn't
  • borez, on 11/16/2008, -5/+129I steal, therefore I am.
  • Tobey, on 11/16/2008, -0/+120Pfft, text books? In my day I had to use an abacus to get my legal info.

    ...then someone explained to me what an abacus was and handed me the laptop I was supposed to be using. Boy, was my face red.
  • ncapone, on 11/16/2008, -4/+122I'm a third year student, and if someone tried to do that to me…eh…
  • Kronos6948, on 11/16/2008, -1/+113because that's when self defense becomes assault with a deadly weapon.
  • inactive, on 11/16/2008, -0/+112You sat in a room by yourself and actually reached up and /facepalmed for a comment you found on Digg?
  • V1ncent, on 11/16/2008, -1/+108That's where the first year stashed his porn. NEVER EVER try to take a dude's porn, man!
  • marv0, on 11/16/2008, -6/+112I just /facepalmed

    You sat in your room by yourself(or even worse with people around) and clapped aloud for a story you found on digg?
  • BossKey, on 11/16/2008, -0/+102Not only would the CompSci student have backups, they would have avoided confrontation by letting the laptop go and instead activating the webcam recording and geolocation tracking system they pre-installed.
  • TotalHalibut, on 11/16/2008, -3/+92Pfft, laptops? In my day we had all of our legal info in text books. Good luck stealing those things, they weighed a ton.
  • chrissku, on 11/16/2008, -4/+87Never touch a mans weed or his laptop. Ever.
  • KingBabi, on 11/16/2008, -12/+93Tough-guy on the internet, but it's a woman referencing her Linux laptop. I think there's a contradiction of terms here.
  • zspade, on 11/16/2008, -0/+81Because it's more satisfying to pound in someones face with your fists.
  • dignation, on 11/16/2008, -3/+83He wouldn't have cared so much. He'd be smart enough to back it all up.
  • inactive, on 11/16/2008, -5/+81I just clapped.

    More people need to do this.
  • Archer007, on 11/17/2008, -3/+79Can you imagine anything more terrifying?
  • kashk5, on 11/16/2008, -0/+75I'm a first year law student, and I can just imagine the kid was thinking through the tort defenses of self-defense and defense of property as he was beating the guy to a bloody pulp
  • cheaptricks, on 11/17/2008, -2/+74The first year student, peacefully sleeping, awoke suddenly. Someone was in his room. What the *****, I'm trying to sleep!, thought the student. Oh he's trying to rob me...

    "Go ahead and take my wallet and guitars..." the student mumbled, turning over in bed, trying to fall asleep again.

    Through eyes half-closed, the student saw the robber reach for his laptop.

    "No..."

    Before the robber knew what was happening, his clumsily-held bat was deftly pulled from his fingertips and thrown to the side. The student slapped the wide-eyed thief to the floor in one strike.

    After beating the would-be robber to a bloody pulp with only his fists, the student looks directly into the man's shell-shocked face and said, "Don't ever ***** with my laptop again. I will ***** kill you."

    The student then forced the man to make him a bowl of Cap'n Crunch while waiting for the police to arrive.
  • quomen, on 11/16/2008, -1/+73Be cautious! I've seen men with pink hello kitty avatars.
  • RubberBinder, on 11/16/2008, -0/+70Pfft, homing pigeons? In my day I just made up all of my legal info.
  • kingofnexus, on 11/16/2008, -1/+60Who doesn't call their laptop their baby?
  • randylm, on 11/16/2008, -1/+59Thanks. We were all wondering what you would do.
  • marv0, on 11/16/2008, -0/+58Babe Ruth at a Buffet?
  • PrintScrn12, on 11/16/2008, -2/+59Pfft, abacus? In my day I had to use an homing pidgeons to get my legal info.
  • GhettoHmbrglr, on 11/16/2008, -20/+75would you scratch him with your fingernails?
  • stephenamp, on 11/16/2008, -1/+54Pfft, imagination? In my day God used to just tell me to my face all my legal info.
  • funkify33, on 11/16/2008, -6/+56Who in their right mind tries to rob somebody, armed only with a baseball bat?
  • JKAL, on 11/16/2008, -5/+54there goes my coffee all over my keyboard...
  • Ismith988, on 11/16/2008, -1/+48Pfft, homing pidgeons? In my day I had to use rocks to carve to get my legal info.
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