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Naked Woman Bike Proves to World You Have Mommy Issues

gizmodo.com — Once in a while we come across an invention that's so ludicrously chauvinist, even our testosterone-fueled rants sputter to speechlessness.

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  • Mardi, on 03/12/2008, -14/+114I'd ride that.
    • jun2san, on 03/12/2008, -0/+17I hear she gets around
      • asauterChicago, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1I hear the back seat is a little loose, though.
    • Estaris, on 03/13/2008, -1/+1I bet when him and his girlfriend go bike riding around town she knows she is with the man of her dreams. *subtlecoughforthosewhoareslow*
      . ---- OR (to give him WAY too much credit but I'm having fun) ---
      This is a "Hi I don't want to date you any more so look at this a get offended and go away" device. NINJA Break Up with Girlfriend TRICKS! Yup that has to be it.
    • loveandrockets, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1If you rode that bike in San Francisco's Critical Mass bike ride, I really don't know what would happen. The lesbians would like it...or hate it...the gays would think it's gross/funny....the feminists would kill you...the cops would buy you a beer or tazer you. I'm not sure which. Everybody's head would explode in a PC/liberal confusion feedback loop.
  • Sucka27, on 03/12/2008, -16/+103Dugg for the comment "kick her in the clam and wear her like a snowshoe."
  • rhesuspieces00, on 03/12/2008, -5/+241its already pretty pathetic to be riding a naked plastic woman down the street, but she seems to be bored by the whole ordeal.
    • ROFLance, on 03/12/2008, -4/+11The female version of this bike: Butchcruiser Dyke Bike
    • isunktheship, on 03/12/2008, -8/+2already? who did this before?!
    • diggingaround, on 03/12/2008, -2/+17I guess technically you can say "I'd hit it.... with a car"..
  • Ytse, on 03/12/2008, -25/+10Yeah, that's pretty bad...
    Also, it should be noted that this is kind of NSFW (or around your wife/girlfriend).
    • jcm267, on 03/12/2008, -0/+37Well the "naked woman" part in the title should give that away.
    • kissit, on 03/12/2008, -0/+5the wife/girlfriend reads digg, guy...
    • flash84x, on 03/12/2008, -5/+14you can't look at this around your wife/gf? i wouldn't survive 4 hours in your relationship, also to note, ive been in a relationship for 4.5 years
    • Dunge, on 03/12/2008, -4/+1Yeah what the hell, yes it say naked woman, and it's not even a naked woman so !?! What kind of girl you have if you can't even read an article about a inflatable doll? Must not have sex very often...
      • eatkitten, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1yes what the hell i have ver beauty woman she nice like bike we ride ok...
        English.
    • diggzoid, on 03/12/2008, -1/+3Why, does no one have a sense of humor anymore?
  • stephenpjc, on 03/12/2008, -87/+12This is just tasteless, people who dug this story should be shot with an EMP cannon.

    buried.
    • xTRUMANx, on 03/12/2008, -1/+93Shot with an Electromagnetic pulse cannon? Unless you think everyone is secretly a robot or wear pacemakers I don't see the purpose of doing so.
    • vervalsing, on 03/12/2008, -5/+26There is no way you actually have male genitalia.
    • Gonthim, on 03/12/2008, -4/+13Maybe he meant we should shoot EMP cannons at them? How big is an EMP cannon? Would this be an effective deterrent?
      • Gonthim, on 03/12/2008, -6/+2Damn ambiguity and the edit timer. This was intended to imply using EMP Cannons as ammo.
        • blahtastic, on 03/12/2008, -0/+11Yeah, gotcha. Should have let it go as it was.
      • glinsvad, on 03/12/2008, -0/+3Shot with an EMP cannon shooting cannon... I hate when that happens
    • lukas88, on 03/12/2008, -2/+19I'd rather be tasteless than have a limited understanding of EMPs
    • caponumen, on 03/12/2008, -12/+210-4, that's still a BIG DIGG, their good buddy, breaker break 19.........
    • Rikushix, on 03/12/2008, -1/+18An EMP cannon? Are you serious? Is this some kind of joke?
    • doctorfungi, on 03/12/2008, -1/+29Someone played too many video games and thinks an EMP canon is OMG WIN PLASMA RAAY!!!
    • banmaster, on 03/12/2008, -1/+8Being shot with a bicicle gun would be much more painful.
    • Trax91, on 03/12/2008, -0/+8EMP is nerds' biggest nightmare! NO IPOD! NO MAC! NO PC! NO iPHONE! NO LAPTOP! NO NOTHING!
    • isunktheship, on 03/12/2008, -1/+4I know it's already been said to death at this point, but come on... What game did you reference that from where it killed people??
      • Kalakov, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1Tank: Main power offline. EMP armed...
        [Tank opens the cover to the EMP switch]
        Tank: and ready.
        Neo: EMP?
        Trinity: Electro-Magnetic Pulse, disables any electrical system within the blast radius, only weapon we have against the machines.
        Morpheus: Quiet.
    • spacewhale, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1Twiki: Beedeebeedeebeedee...uh oh!
  • caponumen, on 03/12/2008, -15/+10What a brilliant work of art and so wonderfully offensive as well!
    Trust me, this will be hanging in the National Gallery someday, I can just see it now..........
    • caponumen, on 03/12/2008, -16/+3I bet you girls like digging me down, don't you.
      If you where here I could turn your mad to glad, just saying......
  • AriaStar, on 03/12/2008, -5/+69When even a plastic woman is bored by your tricks, you've got problems.
  • legoalert33, on 03/12/2008, -5/+43A bumpy ride will guarantee a happy ending.
    /Kills Self
    • Enasni1212, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2Don't be too hard on yourself; I thought it was clever, and it's better to let your creativity out than let a thought like that bounce around inside your head.
  • PeTeRZz, on 03/12/2008, -5/+114I bet the guys who buy this are the same ones with their trucks lifted 6 feet off the ground..
    • wtfunkymonkey, on 03/12/2008, -1/+34and don't forget the giant rubber scrotum hanging off the trailer hitch.
      • mahdaeng, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1And the crouching, naked, chrome women on the mud flaps.
      • MrKeeboard, on 05/17/2008, -0/+1Not everyone has the balls to install one.
    • tuntcickle, on 03/12/2008, -1/+5obviously not bike commuters
    • mGARANDEUR1, on 03/12/2008, -1/+10Except rednecks don't ride bikes.
    • Jaliyl, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1True. But still, props to the man who has the balls to ride that in public.
    • RhodesSkolar, on 03/12/2008, -0/+0Big truck = little weenie. It's often referred to as a "compensation complex".
    • Estaris, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1Obviously the person that owns this bike is a chick magnet. He must have to fight them off in droves.
  • matym, on 03/12/2008, -5/+49She should really have a helmet on, ya know, for protection.
  • DiggMasterJ, on 03/12/2008, -12/+7This would be awesome for a naked bike ride. For breast cancer awareness or something. But after-words it must be burnt.
    • banmaster, on 03/12/2008, -3/+8afterwards
    • ModernMindofM, on 03/12/2008, -0/+13MasterJ; If you rode this in a Breast Cancer Awareness marathon, I'd sponsor you. Just don't expect me to pay your emergency room bill when you get beat with her limbs, after they're torn off of your ride, for being a dick...
    • Dundasbro, on 03/12/2008, -2/+10After-words? You mean after everyone calls you a ***** for being such a ***** idiot?
  • tpawloski, on 03/12/2008, -16/+5It is actually very cool. Great work.
  • tomwoo2, on 03/12/2008, -9/+3Why this not in environmental section, is about green transportation
  • Cyberbladewolf, on 03/12/2008, -5/+12Any chance of a bicycle made for two? Oh wait...
  • hiPpymIck, on 03/12/2008, -9/+2clicked the link..

    hahaha
  • ryan83189, on 03/12/2008, -2/+34Classy.
  • foolawrence, on 03/12/2008, -5/+140Gay version is same but no seat on bicycle
  • daizaru, on 03/12/2008, -15/+14Wow. it's one thing to show a picture of that in your garage but to bring it to some sort of bike event where there's probably kids is kinda rude.
  • Wronghead, on 03/12/2008, -12/+47If you find this sort of thing offensive, you should probably reconsider your decision to use the internet.
    And join a support group for the clinically uptight.
    • Defuser, on 03/12/2008, -2/+3Oh, go ***** yourself, scumbag. The guy MADE the bike to be offensive.
    • Nudar, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1Your comment is off topic. The discussion wasn't whether it's offensive but whether the guy has issues with his mom.
    • Sporky023, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2Amen Wronghead! Made me think of Burning Man, actually. News flash to the majority: sex does not send you to hell. Stop eating beef and then I'll listen to your complaints about a plastic nude.
    • Dulcinea80, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1I think it's more tacky than offensive. But I guess for the guy who will never get to be with a real woman this might seem cool...
  • itsradBrad, on 03/12/2008, -4/+31"Wouldn't it have been better if the front forks were coming out of her mouth and not her neck. And by "better" I mean in a totally NSFW, porn, and treating women as objects way instead of the through the neck in a homicidal serial killer way."

    My thoughts exactly.
    • Joshuarr, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2Funny - that's the first thing I thought. Then I wondered if it was anatomically correct. God I suck.
    • Christ0s, on 03/12/2008, -1/+6Yea and instead of handlebars just have the arms pulled back behind the head.
  • Flashman, on 03/12/2008, -3/+3Holy *****, another Gawker front-page article linking directly to the original material?
  • Search153, on 03/12/2008, -4/+43Wow, that bitch really IS the neighborhood bicycle.
    • Hobbes24, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2hey-ooo!
    • JohnnyThunders, on 03/12/2008, -11/+7Was bitch really necessary? I mean, what about Broad? Chick? I assume you watch alot of "stupid whore bitch gets her ***** ***** by three huge *****" porn.

      Still pretty witty... just classless.
      • Search153, on 03/12/2008, -3/+8When a woman is positioned in eternal doggystyle for one to ride, what better word could be used? ;) Anyhow, please excuse me, I was just getting to the tail end of "Stupid Whore Bitch Gets Her ***** ***** by Three Huge ***** 4"
      • TheRunes, on 03/12/2008, -1/+6Well the guy calls it the Bitchcruiser.
      • DavidGX, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2....he just made a joke about a naked-woman-bicycle being like the neighbourhood whore.. and BITCH makes it classless? What the *****?
        • silvernymph, on 03/15/2008, -0/+0indeed-this joke was so perfect don't you ruin it with your ultra PC noise
    • houndeyex, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1Zing
  • cl2yp71c, on 03/12/2008, -2/+4DIY
  • Makaveli604, on 03/12/2008, -8/+11Uh, how does this prove I have mommy issues?
    • banmaster, on 03/12/2008, -3/+3I guess if you were Freud who believed that everyone's psychosis were because they wanted to kill their fathers and have sex with their mothers.
    • pauleric, on 03/12/2008, -2/+16I don't get where that comment came from either. I can only guess it's just the story submitter who sees a naked woman (or mannequin) and thinks of his mommy. If that's what popped into my mind, it would make sex pretty much impossible for me.
      • screensnot, on 03/12/2008, -3/+2I think about your mommy when I have sex. It works for me.
        • pauleric, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1So, what you're saying is that my Mom is better looking than Mr. Hand. That's not much of a compliment, but I guess it's not actually an insult either.
  • dusty122, on 03/12/2008, -4/+46woulda been epic if the handle bars where her pig tails
    • dizturbd2, on 03/12/2008, -2/+2True story.
    • RedHairedMan, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2Pigtails should be handlebars, the front fork shaft could come out her mouth, not her neck (unless she has some sort of throat cancer?), and her hands should be the actual fork, her arms holding the front wheel.
      Then we'll have taken chauvinism to it's pinnacle. :)
  • sasathi, on 03/12/2008, -7/+4Perfect for Diggers

    (sorry somebody had to say it)
  • vodkataime, on 03/12/2008, -2/+16Dugg for "Bitchcruiser"
  • social101, on 03/12/2008, -3/+0!!weird!!
  • kleash, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2And i thought my bike was hot..
  • nastronomical, on 03/12/2008, -11/+11Nothing wrong with it. Of course the feminize myn of Digg will whine and bitch like they have a menstural cycle.
  • silvernymph, on 03/12/2008, -0/+7this is just ugly tho...the front of the bike looks so awkward.
    if woman's bodies are going to be ridden around the least they could do is make it look good|!
    • damnitdaniel, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1There is a lot of wisdom in that statement...
  • Joshuarr, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2How hard would it be to make something like this that articulates? I mean, it could be made to move in all sorts of ways as you rode it (her).
    Maybe I will go to burning man this year afterall...
    • Sporky023, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1Brilliant idea! Put joints in the arms and legs. The best thing would be to get the whole torso to move forward and back - maybe a sort of wheeled track like inside a dish washer or drawer. That would be difficult to install inside her torso and keep her looking complete at all angles, though. Ideally no motors, just the action of you riding the bike making her move around and buck. Perfect for the Playa. Maybe to be less offensive to the female sex you could put a sheep on there or something.
      • Joshuarr, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1It was going so well until that last sentence. We'll pretend you didn't say that.

        I think the thing would really need a skeleton for the mechanics and a rubber exterior. We could use one of those expensive sex dolls as a starting point - that would provide the added advantage (?) of it being "complete".

        IMO, her arms should be the fork / shocks, and her hands should grasp the front axle. Her knees could have could have petals, but it would be better if we could get her to propel via spanking. Wait a second, maybe the seat is on a slider that instigates the movement -- that way grabbing her hips and sliding the seat forward and backward would provide the power.

        If only I had an extra four months and a sex doll laying around...
  • Nerfdude, on 03/12/2008, -1/+9more great journalism from the guys who ruined CES.
  • db0255, on 03/12/2008, -1/+3was there any point in making a bike like that, except for your buddies to chuckle and comment on it for 2 minutes and then forget about it?
    • Sporky023, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2Excuse me, but I hope you realize that thousands if not millions of people around the world will chuckle at that bike. Maybe you're one of those types that only cares about his buddies though ...
  • Premier, on 03/12/2008, -0/+3What happens when your inner pervert comes out
  • irisblaze, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2I hope it has a hole there, you know in case you got a boner or something.
  • diggingaround, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1What's up with that DP frame bar?
  • nicolexue, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1People at STDromance.com may like it
  • kahrytan, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2Some 'unlucky' Digg user should buy this ... it is the only action they will see.
  • pharekyz, on 03/12/2008, -1/+4Wow... they finally made the Village Bicycle!
  • dshey, on 03/12/2008, -2/+2When and where can I get my custom bitchcruiser?
  • zaferk, on 03/12/2008, -1/+4i came
  • Pleased2CU, on 03/12/2008, -3/+1I could not figure out how the guy in the story below managed to accomplish having sex with his bicycle. Now I understand. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_we ...
  • simplechris, on 03/12/2008, -4/+31talk about a menstural cycle.
    • natchiketa, on 03/12/2008, -3/+2buried for ruining a totally diggable comment by misspelling 'menstrual'. damn you!
  • Amadeus2490, on 03/12/2008, -2/+2Someone should try to build a fleshlight into this; it could sell millions!
  • tamih87, on 03/12/2008, -2/+4:/ ...get a girlfriend?
  • sammydeath, on 03/12/2008, -2/+2perhaps his mum never let him play with dolls as a kid. what a loser
  • Ansem, on 03/12/2008, -2/+4Worst bike ever.
  • Uzael, on 03/12/2008, -6/+3Why do men hate women so much that they stoop so low? The sad thing is that most people seem to find this funny. Why is it ok to make statements about women like this? Shame...
    • Defuser, on 03/12/2008, -2/+3Welcome to Digg, home to sociopathic virgins.
    • arbiterusa, on 03/12/2008, -2/+2It's OK, because women aren't human beings, just objects for my usage.
      • Garbagio, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2Whether you're joking or not, I dugg you up to show that I appreciate you bringing this concept to light. Not because I agree.
  • WafflesID, on 03/12/2008, -6/+10BAH. People are way too uptight.
    This is funny. Humor is supposed to push buttons.
    If someone made a bike for women where you sit on his lap it would be equally funny. You think you would see a single comment about how it would objectify men? Hell no.
    Lighten up people.
    • Defuser, on 03/12/2008, -4/+2So if we're to understand your ***** "logic", this bike is supposed to "push buttons", but we need to "lighten up" if it actually DOES push our buttons. Does that about sum up what you're trying to tell us, moron?
    • aprestia, on 03/12/2008, -1/+3No, that would STILL objectify women, because it would be made by a man who thinks it would be funny to make women "ride a man-bike."

      But yes, it is just humor, and I wouldn't really care one way or another having read that original article - but some of the comments on HERE are making me start to care.
    • Garbagio, on 03/12/2008, -3/+3Waffles, considering how there is very little duality when it comes to sexism, (which you prove that you understand in your post) you should understand how this is easily offensive. People who don't understand the difference between spreading and solidifying a potentially hateful misnomer with joking about light hearted fun won't understand without a personal example. I can only help you understand through this example, and if you consider my words as words of a friend:

      Sure the idea of sitting in a plastic man's lap on a bike would be funny. Would it still tickle the funny bone if: The man were to be ridiculed in the context of a male's perceived weakness? How about in the same context of this bike? Maybe a suited man, half-naked from the waist down with a simian skull, and has "Cash Cow" or "ATM" written across the leg ridden by a lady who happily has herself done up as a gold digger? You misunderstand that this is dangerous to our psychological growth as a society of people playing on offensive stereotypes; I like to treat everyone whom I don't understand as a human being with a common, similar kindness I expect until proven otherwise. When this becomes a societal trait, then I'll accept this as good humor.

      To understand where any outrage is born; humor that is based upon the hotly debatable subject of human rights (which this does) begins with perception of humans. During wartimes, the enemy is 'dehumanized' by manufacturing a despicable outlook through repeating negative discussion often at the expense of any rational discourse. When your words and actions translate to such a degree as this rideable art piece; It can easily be a statement regarding the personality and thoughts of the artist behind its creation. I would have laughed my ass off if the hot body had a smiling gray-haired granny head at the end. Obviously, not because I see a granny as a sex symbol. Rather because to see two ideas combined into something that makes sense yet has a twist is the sign of a good joke. I'm sure the people that find the bike in the post funny would be put off by my idea. Anyone who finds themselves feeling that knot of "ewww" at the mental image need only ask themselves about themselves.

      This is discriminatory and falls within a small circle of acceptance. That's all.
    • TrystTempleton, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2Even if you looked from the point of having a bicycle with a woman riding a man bike, there'd probably be comments about the woman being a slut or some other comment about how she 'gets around' etc. where as a man riding a female bike would be accepted and by reading the comments here, it is.
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