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Man Pleads No Contest To Having Sex With Car Wash Vacuum

mlive.com — A man has pleaded no contest to indecent exposure after police said he was arrested for performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum.

Who dugg this? Made popular Feb 27, 2009

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170 Comments

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  • Infowarsdotcom, on 02/27/2009, -0/+90I hope he wore a condom...that things sucked more rug than 50 whores combined.
  • funkytommyman, on 02/27/2009, -2/+83"Get your dick out of the car wash vacuum"
  • darlingt, on 02/27/2009, -0/+57Just out of curiosity... what do you, as a police officer, say to a man who's got his dick in a car wash vacuum?
  • inactive, on 02/27/2009, -0/+42Are they going to charge him with paying for sex too since it is a coin-op vacuum?
  • freezerburn666, on 02/27/2009, -0/+40that looks like it really sucks?
  • brinkofjon, on 02/27/2009, -1/+39Im glad he decided to come clean!

    <.<

    >.>
  • j0hn, on 02/27/2009, -0/+35I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISTURB ME WHILE I'M CLEANING MY ROOM!
  • hbyrne, on 02/27/2009, -2/+36Actually it sounds like quite a contest.
  • relaxeder, on 04/17/2009, -0/+30They were big in the nineties.
  • Scottypants, on 02/27/2009, -1/+24Tazer him, then on the way to the station, think of something witty to say.
  • tondezz, on 02/27/2009, -0/+23hope he didnt run out of quarters before he finished.....
  • coltraning, on 02/27/2009, -1/+23Sucks for him.
  • seanstuart, on 02/27/2009, -1/+21"You have the right to remain ... no, no, go ahead and finish."
  • Musphaq, on 02/27/2009, -0/+17"thanks... do you have any change? I ran out of quarters..."
  • seanstuart, on 02/27/2009, -2/+19"Hey, aren't you Larry Craig?"
  • tehdinosaurs, on 02/27/2009, -0/+17Sucks to be him.
  • inactive, on 02/27/2009, -1/+17I think it's best to just shoot first and ask questions later.
  • bhuntsbarger, on 02/27/2009, -0/+16So was he cheating on his vacuum at home? Was this one so much better?
  • anagoge, on 02/27/2009, -0/+14"Reports suggest that the man is now the proud father of two Oreck XLs"
  • floppytaco, on 02/27/2009, -1/+15"I got next!"
  • idavidtang, on 02/27/2009, -0/+14Maybe the vacuum raped him?
  • Zaeboes, on 02/27/2009, -1/+15Sheeps? Really?
  • TBombadil, on 02/27/2009, -1/+14thats right! you caught me ***** yur vacuum
  • adamroach, on 02/27/2009, -0/+13That's what got him into trouble to begin with.
  • DreamVsPs2, on 02/27/2009, -1/+13is the vacuum pregnant?
  • lostngone, on 02/27/2009, -0/+12The Vacuum was asking for it!

    Just look how it dresses and just stands there.
  • DivineLies, on 02/27/2009, -0/+11i couldn't imagine being a cop and asking someone to take his dick out of the vacuum...
  • SaladCactusKing, on 02/27/2009, -1/+12"Savage, 29, of 11615 Swan Creek in Swan Creek Township"

    I hate when journalists do this.
  • carbonfilament, on 02/27/2009, -0/+10it seemed like a good idea at the time...
  • Devrdander, on 02/27/2009, -0/+10I'm getting a flash back from super troopers: "Hey you, vacuum *****! Do you need assistance?!"
  • inactive, on 02/27/2009, -1/+10What the ***** is a jpog?
  • drmangrum, on 02/27/2009, -0/+8OUCH!

    Car wash vacuums aren't known for being weak. Those things suck up everything including loose change and other heavy objects. That would be painful as hell.
  • vicsvenge, on 02/27/2009, -2/+10oh michigan.... my home sweet home.
  • plhofmei, on 02/27/2009, -0/+8We're facing hard times in Michigan, and 3 minutes with the local Turbo-Suck vacuum is cheaper than a whore. We are cutting back!
  • ancalagon73, on 02/27/2009, -0/+7The cop or the perp?
  • BossKey, on 02/27/2009, -0/+7"You...you cheated on me...by paying some skanky hose?"
  • laserdog, on 02/27/2009, -1/+8"If you need me, I'll be downstairs, with the shop vac..."

    http://www.jonathancoulton.com/2005/10/07/thing-a- ...
  • InfodivaMLIS, on 02/27/2009, -0/+7wow now that is hard up!
  • anagoge, on 02/27/2009, -0/+7"Dispatch, requesting a bag, repeat, request a new vacuum bag immediately!"
  • coltraning, on 02/27/2009, -0/+7This is like Pedo-torrent-bear...
  • BushidoReverend, on 02/27/2009, -0/+7I came here to leave this comment.
    You beat me to it.
  • BuckCynnie, on 02/27/2009, -0/+6It's not going to suck itself...
  • shylove, on 02/27/2009, -0/+6it is just plain human nature, when man encounters a vacuum he has to fill it!!
  • BushidoReverend, on 02/27/2009, -0/+6Astute observation.
  • VitriolAndAngst, on 02/27/2009, -0/+6Let's get this straight; It's not $ex if it is one person and an inanimate object. Currently, there are no consenting vacuum cleaners.

    And I've never tried this, sounds like it would suck -- too much.
  • Jade10145, on 02/27/2009, -0/+6It was probably a terrible blow job, I mean the machine is clearly a carpet muncher...

    I also see a lot of chaffage happening.
  • PapaCapone, on 02/27/2009, -0/+6Holster your weapon.
  • KibibyteBrain, on 02/27/2009, -0/+6The real question is, which Sci Fi race will come of this. I have my bet on a lovely Dalek child, but perhaps we will see the start of the Borg Collective instead.
  • leopardhunter, on 02/27/2009, -0/+6Diem.
  • bstock, on 02/27/2009, -1/+7http://www.state.mi.us/mdoc/asp/otis2profile.asp?m ...
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