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- dondara, on 12/13/2007, -21/+370It's a horrible rag full of *****. 10 ways to please your man? WTF? There are only 3. A BJ, a sandwich and STFU.
- whiteknives, on 12/13/2007, -8/+309I'm gonna start a magazine just like Cosmo but for guys that says women bitch all the time because they WANT you to cheat on them.
- basic0, on 12/13/2007, -3/+252How many other guys here have had this conversation with a ladyfriend:
Her: "I was reading in Cosmo about (insert wierd sexual practice that's supposed to appeal to men here) What do you think of that?"
You: "I think I'd throw you out of my bed if you tried that."
Her: "Bah! What do you know?!"
Right. Because Cosmo so accurately knows what men want that it's articles actually override the opinions of actual real-life men. Imagine if it were reversed:
You: "Well, I think I'm gonna put my entire fist in your vagina honey, no lube. I know how you girls like that sort of thing"
Her: "What? No we don't! If you try that I'll never speak to you again!"
You: "Bah, what do you know? I read it in Penthouse, dear, I think they know women a little better than you do..." - thebaron2, on 12/13/2007, -6/+210***** Cosmo - that damn magazine has initiated so many god damn arguments between me and my lady-friends over the years. Pretty much any time I hear "Hey can I ask you something, honey?" I can count on Cosmo being the instigator.
I wish I could digg this more than once... - Spectre74, on 12/13/2007, -7/+199 I spend more time trying to figure out why women spend so much time trying to figure us out than anything else. It's such a waste of time. I spend most of my time not caring what the opposite sex thinks because in 5 mins it will be the opposite thought.
- Makaveli604, on 12/13/2007, -14/+163"Cosmos reasoning: It goes back to caveman-clan mentality, says Fisher. Guys don't want to let anyone they perceive as the enemy into their inner circle. They see all men they don't know (and that includes the geek at Starbucks) as a threat. Help him evolve by pointing out that these days, more girlfriends are stolen by best buds than by strangers.
My reasoning: This question is a perfect example of the ***** that Cosmo slings around. Guys don’t do constant evaluation of other guys, unless we are sizing them up for fighting purposes. This is a feminine trait, and stating that we think in the same manner is false. The only time I see another male as a threat relationship-wise is when another man’s balls are slapping against my girlfriend’s chin. At that point the relationship probably can’t be saved -- well, you could join in but that would be kind of um... gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) "
So true, an utterly female trait.
Bitches. - maxyRO, on 12/13/2007, -5/+154it was high time for some man propaganda
- ike6116, on 12/13/2007, -6/+142Let's not forget their god awful sex tips for women. I would like to personally choke every writer at Cosmo who has written "Try putting your finger in his ass." Thank god my girlfriend was smart enough to ask first.
The only sex tip cosmo needs to be giving is this: "Give blow jobs frequently and pretend like it practically gets you off to do it." - inactive, on 12/13/2007, -1/+126Her: I was reading Cosmo about...
Me: Get the ***** out of my house. - Axeman2063, on 12/13/2007, -1/+124it's the same, steaming load of BS in every issue too..."feel better", "have an orgasm", "understand "him"". I wish I could make money rehashing the same old ***** every 4 weeks.
- thinsoldier, on 12/13/2007, -2/+122I think it has to do with the fact that men don't "make friends" with every other man they come across. Even noticed how back in high school and college some chicks had a new "best friend" every 2 years. And people who you thought they were really really close with turn out to be their arch-enemy a year and a half later. I've never been able to comprehend how they can go from such good "friends" to pure enemies in such a short time. An then there's the sheer volume of people they call "friend" and "have to" associate with an a regular basis. It's just strange to me.
I think most guys keep a small special group of true friends and a larger outer circle of jackasses, ass-clows, *****, class-clowns, jolly-fat-men, plumbers, painters, mechanics, co-workers and muscle-bound backup that are only there because they serve a purpose or by coincidence, circumstance, or friend-of-a-friend. We don't need 200 phone numbers in our cellphone to confirm our self-worth. - mardukvmbc, on 12/13/2007, -5/+118My marriage got a whole lot better when I told my wife to give up trying to figure me out. I asked her to treat me like a 5 year old that likes sex. It's really that simple -- I'm a little boy at heart, the toys just get more expensive.
I don't care how you look in those jeans. I didn't notice your hair cut or your new makeup. Yes I think that girl is pretty. I don't remember what you were wearing on our first date, but I do remember the first time we had sex.
Doesn't mean I don't love you. It just means that I don't think like you. I'm not one of your girlfriends, if you want to gossip or shop call one of them up -- they'd probably enjoy it. But I won't, and I never will. - DjOverEZ, on 12/13/2007, -1/+112So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing! - inactive, on 12/13/2007, -2/+113They already have that. It's called Maxim
- BoneheadFarker, on 12/13/2007, -2/+102I think a beer would be nice too, but I'll take what I can get.
- washburn085, on 12/13/2007, -2/+102I remember hearing about some of the sex tips they gave and thinking, WTF. I dunno where they get their ideas from, but def not from the average guys. I remember one tip was to put plastic wrap on the guy's balls and hum while he teabags her. I dunno about you guys, but i dont think pretending my balls are leftovers does anything for me.
- inactive, on 12/13/2007, -4/+102As oppressive as Cosmo is to men, I would say it is easily 2x as opressive to women.
- mrgreenjeans, on 12/13/2007, -3/+95"Guys don’t do constant evaluation of other guys, unless we are sizing them up for fighting purposes. This is a feminine trait..."
So true. Women think we sit around and worry about the same ***** they do all day. How many fights have you had that are the result of some "what if?" situation your girl fretted over for hours, getting herself in a tizzy, then letting loose on you?
What the ***** did I do?! - anTii, on 12/13/2007, -13/+93cosmo writers are loose
- petebot, on 12/13/2007, -1/+73They already have a Cosmo for men--it's called Maxim. And dude, if your wife actually listens to what Cosmo has to say, then the problem is your wife.
- Ostizzle, on 12/13/2007, -2/+73Stupidity abounds in Cosmo.
I learned in Cosmo that the reason I thrust hard when having sex is because in the caveman days, that's what men did when they suspected their mates of cheating. "Deeper thrusts create a suction action that squeegees out rival sperm."
Hear that guys? All we have to do is thrust really hard to "squeegee" out the sperm if you don't want your woman to get pregnant. - dudetaz2003, on 12/13/2007, -2/+73how would that work exactly?
- bwhite, on 12/13/2007, -4/+72Cosmo Kramer wouldn't lie to anyone!
- batista86, on 12/13/2007, -2/+66Woman magazines killed chivalry. Not men.
- JammoBlammo, on 12/13/2007, -1/+60"Tell your man about your day! It really makes him happy to feel that you're an equal! Have him cook dinner with you to build a lifelong bond! And always remember, when he says he's going out with the guys, it's a passive invitation for you to come along too! Feel free!"
- Zique, on 12/13/2007, -1/+53Wow, did they actually have any men help write those or did they make it all up in their secret no-boys-allowed playhouse?
- xTRUMANx, on 12/13/2007, -1/+51The oddest thing is DV reads Cosmo to know about all these lies.
- Scogras, on 12/13/2007, -0/+50The blind leading the blind!
- inactive, on 12/13/2007, -1/+49"Boobs are not important" -Cosmo
- statikuz, on 12/13/2007, -0/+47? It has glossy pages.
- Chirp08, on 12/13/2007, -7/+52you forgot anal
- thinsoldier, on 12/13/2007, -2/+47Beer and chips come with the sandwich combo
- Coffeedemon, on 12/13/2007, -1/+46You win this thread.
- fkr3, on 12/13/2007, -7/+52I bet it's more accurate than what the internet is teaching guys about women.
Any hot chicks out there want to give me a blowjob while I ***** your sister in the ass? - PopcornDave, on 12/13/2007, -0/+44The one I heard about was the guy holding two glasses full of water and not spill it while she's blowing you. It's supposed to heighten your concentration on what she's doing.
What a load of crap. If she's lousy, you're going to pour the water over her head. If she's good you're going to spill the water. - Gizza, on 12/14/2007, -0/+44"Why do guys always sit with their legs splayed? "
Because we have testicles. - Sornos, on 12/13/2007, -1/+44Propamanda
- PopcornDave, on 12/13/2007, -1/+41No good question has ever come from "Hey can I ask you something, honey".
- inactive, on 12/13/2007, -1/+40Taking advice from cosmo is like asking a blind man to teach you photography.
- pulsifier, on 12/13/2007, -2/+41dugg up for borderline insanity
- psykiv, on 12/13/2007, -1/+40WTF? A blowjob *while* you ***** her sister in the ass? Do you have more than one penis or something?
- mt066, on 12/13/2007, -1/+37I hate to push that "simple-minded men" stereotype, but yeah, most of these do have pretty basic explanations and there is nothing "deep" or symbolic going on there.
- explodingtree, on 12/13/2007, -0/+35Ever visited a bathroom in woman's apartment? A Cosmo's probably there. And you've got a delivery to make, so you've got time, and don't want to get bored.
- finalcloud33, on 12/13/2007, -1/+33You just made my, day!! I was actually laughing out loud at my desk!
- FriskDown, on 12/13/2007, -1/+33"I think I have clearly pointed out the flawed logic that Cosmopolitan uses. Now you know what is corrupting the minds of your girlfriend or wife and making them totally unreasonable. Wait, that could just be the hormones... nah, it's the magazine."
LOL. Don't forget daytime TV! - s1mph0ny, on 12/13/2007, -5/+36So Cosmo is like the Doubleviking for women?
- roflcopterdown, on 12/13/2007, -0/+31They made the list and it sparkled.
- inactive, on 12/13/2007, -0/+30Wow, start a kids magazine! I made the mistake of purchasing my kid a second year of some kids magazine, and the second year they were EXACTLY the same mag's only some pictures changed. All the articles were spot on the exact same thing. I suspect Cosmo does the same thing, they just change the layouts more than the kids magazine. Wish I remembered the title of it so I could bad mouth it by name.
- UwasaWaya, on 12/13/2007, -0/+29That's my sister, her 'best friend' recently tried to rip her off of a ***** ton of money and tried to talk her into getting into a threesome with her and her 'boyfriend' (he's 47, she's 21)...
My best friend I've known since the sixth grade, and I'd take a bullet for him. I know he would do the same. Hell, even my girlfriend just broke up with her best friend, mostly because this supposed friend did nothing but talk about how inferior she was to her. I don't get it. Not at all. I stopped putting up with this highschool social ladder ***** years ago. I wish others could too. - Sagara, on 12/13/2007, -4/+33and if you're dating a guy who takes Double Viking seriously, then you're either dating an inexperienced newb... or an jackass. I hate cosmo.... and on the flip side... I hate double viking. What is it with our culture that demands that we not only fit these ridiculous stereotypes, but worship the people who do??????
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