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Insane Weapons Of War

thecontaminated.com — Those are really weird. I choose the exploding rat.

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  • mfgp, on 02/09/2008, -75/+9didnt like it one bit. i think this article sucks sorry.
  • charliejane, on 02/09/2008, -7/+100I actually liked this article, especially the anti-tank dogs.
    • weeeezzll, on 02/09/2008, -4/+17Even better than the cat bombs!? ZOMG!
    • oxdeltaxo, on 02/09/2008, -1/+70So it was the dolphins who cut the underwater cables.....
      • RpgActioN, on 02/09/2008, -7/+6Iran was behind this! Those clever bastards with their killer dolphins! We must bomb them!
    • kanuk20, on 02/09/2008, -10/+6This is disgusting.
    • MasterPlayer, on 02/09/2008, -2/+13Anti-tank dogs: The best use of classical conditioning ever.
      • DarkNemesis618, on 02/10/2008, -0/+3Until they ran back and destroyed Soviet Tanks
    • rentmitchum, on 02/09/2008, -0/+7I have an idea. Why not use LSD-25 as a biological weapon. It would be non-lethal, easily sprayed over a battlefield, the government wouldn't have problems manufacturing huge quantities of it, and it'd be much more feasable than a gay-bomb. If the soldiers were all tripping their nuts off, most of them would lay down arms and either surrender or run away. Some might even see the folly of their ways. Plus it's active in micrograms and can absorb through the skin. Hell, they could drop it mixed with this stuff that aids skin absorption. This seems like a good idea, too good to have not been thought of. Now I gotta do some searching.

      One can dream.
      • Alexandru25, on 02/09/2008, -0/+3I think that was the initial concept of LSD when the CIA was experimenting with it.
      • UNL1M1T3D, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1If only they would bomb the US.
    • AriaGloris, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Poor dogs :(
    • scimitar91, on 02/10/2008, -0/+3I'm afraid Weapon #1has been detonated on parts of the california
      Bush was right. lets ***** those iraqis up.
  • Cooperfan, on 02/09/2008, -7/+102Yes, it seems that the anti-tank dogs were pretty effective. Never knew this.
    • houndeyex, on 02/09/2008, -1/+19I think the Wikipedia article says that they weren't very effective. The loud tanks generally made them skiddish and they'd flake out on their jobs, or run under a friendly tank. Sometimes they'd actually run back towards the people that sent them, with a backpack full of explosives. Bad for business!
      • Vodka2389, on 02/09/2008, -0/+3I'm not so sure... it says that the dogs were starved for days. I don't think some scary noises would stop a dog from his meal on.
      • gwolf, on 02/10/2008, -1/+1Serves them right, that's karma for ya.
    • Yukos, on 02/09/2008, -0/+15Soviet sources claimed everything done in Russia was successful, which explains why there is no longer a USSR.
    • Ferago, on 02/09/2008, -0/+1I'm not sure they were that successful. I remember reading that the program was cancelled (in Afghanistan I think) because the dogs couldn't tell friend from foe, and kept blowing up Soviet tanks.
      • arizonabay, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Um. Wouldn't be Afghanistan. I mean, Charlie Wilson and co gave the afghans a lot of weapons, but tanks were not one of them.

    • funkywood, on 02/09/2008, -0/+1I heard they were rewarded for nipping under tanks but in the field they went for the Russian tanks they were used to rather than the enemy ones that they didn't recognise.
  • Tippis, on 02/09/2008, -8/+24Flaming pigs > all.
    • tehpwnerofn00bs, on 02/09/2008, -0/+15Sharks with lasers > flaming pigs
      • psg188, on 02/09/2008, -0/+18Flaming pigs were actually used though. Against elephants in Roman times, they covered the pigs in oil and set them ablaze, it terrified the elephants.
      • kibbled, on 02/09/2008, -1/+6Ninjas with lasers > Sharks with lasers
      • stalzdiggity, on 02/09/2008, -0/+10ill tempered sea bass < sharks with lasers
      • Archeologist, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Sharks with fricking lasers attached to their heads > all
      • fliguy84, on 02/10/2008, -0/+0Spiderpig > all
  • CasinoJack, on 02/09/2008, -1/+198The logic behind the 'cat-guided bomb' somehow reminds me of the 'buttered toast strapped to the back of a cat' anti-gravity device.

    For those that aren't familiar, the theory goes that cats always land feet first and buttered toast always lands butter-side down - put the two together and they will hover in mid air, rotating at a steady pace. Trust me, I have one as a conversation piece in my study.
    • IEatHamburgers, on 02/09/2008, -1/+31Wouldn't the cosmic forces involved split the cat in half so as the half with the feet would fall down and the half with the toast would flip over and fall down? I wouldn't try that on my cat if I had one.
      • wipis, on 02/09/2008, -2/+23No... You use crazy glue stupid. The hard part is harnessing its rotational energy.
    • jerryterhorst, on 02/09/2008, -0/+31i believe the correct phrasing is "quantum indecision".
      • xxnanoxx, on 02/09/2008, -2/+6I believe the correct phrasing is "smart ass"
      • jerryterhorst, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1i wasnt being a smartass. thats just the way ive already heard it phrased. and, you have to admit, it sounds much better than "hover in mid air" for a joke whose entire punchline is predicated on sounding overly scientific.
    • blueishraptor, on 02/09/2008, -1/+2here you go
      http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Murphy's_law_applicat ...
    • Ploosheeta, on 02/09/2008, -0/+5http://youtube.com/watch?v=wvRzWYCZ2e0
      • spancho, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1this is not perpetual motion. the only energy that could be extracked from the spinning cats circular motion would be equal to the energy that you had to spend to lift the cat inorder to drop it. Penergy=(mass)(gravity of planet your on)(height from surface). yes the cat would spin forever, but it would only work in a vacuum due to air resistance from the cats legs.
    • MaTT2011, on 02/09/2008, -0/+1I can haz xplozions?
    • S1ngular1ty1, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1DO NOT TRY THIS. IT WILL DOOM US ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    • starrychloe, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Anti-gravity: http://content.ytmnd.com/content/6/3/3/633c881f633 ...
  • brentinkc, on 02/09/2008, -19/+38At least they finally found something useful for cats to do.
  • paintpro, on 02/09/2008, -2/+174what about sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads
    • captoftheworld, on 02/09/2008, -0/+3All we have is Sea Bass.
      • BeyondDGrave, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Sea Bass? I payed all this money, and they best we have..... is "Sea Bass".... Please...remind me what I pay you people for again, honestly..
    • Diggpick, on 02/09/2008, -1/+2Dugg for Digg-Front-Page addiction :)
    • straff2002, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Excellent you made me laugh in the cinema reading this, and yes it had to be explained to the wife!
    • ElBeh, on 02/10/2008, -1/+0Lazer beams with frickin' sharks attached to their heads!
    • stackered, on 02/10/2008, -0/+2What about using mentally disabled people as bombs - this is what many middle eastern countries have employed... its sick and ridiculous.
    • pennvneff, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Bastard that's the first thing I thought of when I saw this article.
  • Dunnix, on 02/09/2008, -18/+4Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have.
    • Fizban140, on 02/09/2008, -3/+14If you actually read the article almost all the weapons were WW2 era, and "mankind" is finding ways to get more use out of the weapons we already have. Ever heard of a B-52? JDAMs?
    • zephyr42, on 02/09/2008, -4/+2You know all the nukes that the world has, a lot of them are being dis-assembled and used as fuel for the nuclear power plants. You can talk to just about anyone in the military, all their equipment is freakin old and out dated.
      • Fizban140, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1I don't know why you were dugg down, you are exactly right.
  • ORBAT, on 02/09/2008, -3/+37The Japanese balloons were especially ingenious, I saw a documentary about them once. Apparently they were the cause of the only war-related US mainland deaths during WW II.
  • goerg, on 02/09/2008, -1/+23one cant say humanity does not develop. in every war we invent new techniques to kill each other
    • duccodude, on 02/09/2008, -4/+13This reminds me of my veteran attempts in Call of duty
  • Khast, on 02/09/2008, -2/+56I was almost expecting a Banana Bomb, or the Concrete Donkey.
  • HydrogenOxide, on 02/09/2008, -13/+1We need to be allowed to delete our comments leik naow
  • borez, on 02/09/2008, -3/+71Headline: Gay bombs wipe out Navy
    • hellosaysme, on 02/09/2008, -1/+105"Sir, we dropped the gay bomb on they navy...it didn't make a difference"
    • borez, on 02/09/2008, -0/+31Alt headline: Gay bombs put Army and Navy on level playing field
    • funkywood, on 02/09/2008, -1/+1That would be the best weapon. It would certainly help with overpopulation.
  • myfilthyheart, on 02/09/2008, -6/+26they forgot 'operation: get behind the darkies'
    • tdogg241, on 02/09/2008, -0/+6That's not a weapon, just a good strategy.
  • dudefather, on 02/09/2008, -19/+3"Cooperating with the desires of the government, the press did not publish any balloon bomb incidents."

    OH NOEZ FREEDOM OF SPEECH LOL
  • Fizban140, on 02/09/2008, -1/+25The bat bomb is the amazing, I remember seeing a show on the History channel about it. The bombs were tested and worked.
    • h4mx0r, on 02/09/2008, -0/+4Were they actually used in the field? I never heard about them but the concept seems ingenious.
      • Atomic05, on 02/09/2008, -0/+9I think they set up a mock urban area as a test to see if the dispensers and bombs worked properly. They pretty much burnt the whole place to the ground, which was the idea.

        The bat-bombs were never actually used though because bombs of a more atomic variety beat them to it.
        • Fizban140, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Ya they were tested in a mock town, the bats went straight to the rafters of barns and other similar places, according the guy is worked exactly as they expected it to.
  • neocr0n, on 02/09/2008, -2/+13I'm sure I heard somewhere or read that the Anti-Tank dogs were a nuisance for the Russians as much as the Germans. Since they were trained to look for food under Russian tanks they often went for Russian tanks instead of the Germans. Maybe they learned their lesson and started training them on German tanks.
    • razorsedge555, on 02/09/2008, -1/+6They were trained under diesel engined Russian vehicles, whilst most German tanks were gasoline powered ( Tiger being the notable exception ). The dogs associated diesel fumes with their targets. Oddly enough this training continued after WW2 was over; one source states the program ended in 1962.
  • etnuts, on 02/09/2008, -10/+3I like killer dolphins

    but why dolphins not hammerhead sharks or great white sharks??
    • Dreamfiend, on 02/09/2008, -0/+20train a giant fish to do underwater espionage OR train a large mammal that actually has a brain to do underwater espionage. hmm, I dont know what would be easier.
  • borez, on 02/09/2008, -0/+10Also...what about that German subsonic gun that made soldiers ( literally ) ***** themselves?
    • JonyMill, on 02/09/2008, -3/+20I think that was the infamous 'Brown Note' right?
      It was on a Mythbusters episode and they dubbed it Busted.
      What a sad day in age when we refer any science questions to those two lunatics and take their word for it.
    • wipis, on 02/09/2008, -1/+7Yeah the brown note is very hard to reproduce. But supposedly there are some other notes that make you queasy, angry and thirsty that are easier to reproduce. There are companies working on sonic weapons that cause pain.
    • catalysis, on 02/10/2008, -0/+2The French experimented with it in WW2
  • exodii, on 02/09/2008, -0/+32'Operation Acoustic Kitty'
    Hmm. What a subtle project name. I bet no one could have guessed what it was *really* about.
    • TheRealToma, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Sounds like a good band name
    • RockStrongo1, on 02/10/2008, -0/+0Operation Acoustic Pussy would be better.
  • secrity, on 02/09/2008, -0/+6The bugged kitties project sounded interesting, although I don't see how the technology at the time would make it practical.
  • JonyMill, on 02/09/2008, -2/+12Poor dogs, trained to find food underneath an approaching German tank...
    Imagine the confusion of that poor pooch when the tank crew started to fire on him.
    "My masters kept me without food for three flippin' days, tell me it is under this thing, and now you are trying to stop me from getting it?"
  • HaSatan, on 02/09/2008, -8/+0What about sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads?
  • ZephyrNinety, on 02/09/2008, -0/+80I think we need a Lesbian Bomb.
  • Erowid, on 02/09/2008, -4/+2This is a much better list: http://www.uncyclopedia.org/wiki/List_of_weapons_t ...
  • Ruger11mcrdpi, on 02/09/2008, -6/+2Thye dogs were just as big of a problem for the Russians themselves, according to what I've read. The balloon bombs actually worked, but like so many "secret weapons" from Japan and Germany, one has to think that the resources used to make 9,000 balloon bombs could have been better spent on actual weapons that were proven. Kinda like the huge submarines that carried two small planes that were attempted to damage the panama canal... or Germany's giant rail gun that needed a crew of almost 600 soldiers... What a waste of resources. No wonder we beat them.
    • Peko, on 02/09/2008, -2/+5When you say "we won" you mean the "we the allies" right? And by the allies you mean "we the allies but really now firstmost the russians who turned around the eastern front by themselves when the german supply lines were over extended and the russians who fought really hard and lost 25 million in the process" Just checking.
      • Wartz, on 02/10/2008, -0/+2US deliveries to USSR
        Aircraft 14,795
        Tanks 7,056
        Jeeps 51,503
        Trucks 375,883
        Motorcycles 35,170
        Tractors 8,071
        Guns 8,218
        Machine guns 131,633
        Explosives 345,735 tons
        Building equipment valued $10,910,000
        Railroad freight cars 11,155
        Locomotives 1,981
        Cargo ships 90
        Submarine hunters 105
        Torpedo boats 197
        Ship engines 7,784
        Food supplies 4,478,000 tons
        Machines and equipment $1,078,965,000
        Non-ferrous metals 802,000 tons
        Petroleum products 2,670,000 tons
        Chemicals 842,000 tons
        Cotton 106,893,000 tons
        Leather 49,860 tons
        Tires 3,786,000
        Army boots 15,417,001 pairs
      • Wartz, on 02/10/2008, -0/+2yeah I copy-pasted from wikipedia. There's a lot more information there though. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lend-Lease

        This bit is especially interesting.
        "by 1945 nearly two-thirds of the truck strength of the Red Army was US-built."
  • kkDonut, on 02/09/2008, -1/+50In talking about the WWII Hydrogen balloons that Japan sent over via the pacific jet stream, Japan DID NOT stop after 6 months because they learned that the balloons were only making it to Wyoming. The balloons were rigged with 16 or so bags of sand as ballast, which were released by an altimeter when the atmospheric pressure got to a certain point (the balloon sinks lower in the cooler night, pressure rises, the altimeters triggers two bags to be released, and the balloon climbs higher again, when only 2 ballast sandbags remain, the altimeter triggers the small bomb to be released with them). When US officials found the balloons, usually several sandbags were not far off. They had no idea where the balloons were coming from, or how far they had traveled, so they took samples of the sand used as ballast, and began comparing it to sand taken from Japanese geological surveys years before the war. After several weeks of comparing samples under microscopes, it was deemed that the balloon ballast was coming from a remote beach in northern Japan. The navy was ordered to fly a recon mission over the suspected area, and reported what looked like small hydrogen generating plants. A small bomb strike was ordered, destroying the plants, and as soon as the plants were destroyed, the balloons stopped coming.
  • Brick86, on 02/09/2008, -3/+9And the lolcats with the cat-guided bomb picture in 3... 2... 1...
  • appleseed1234, on 02/09/2008, -8/+2I'm from Holland, isn't that weird?
  • eyefork, on 02/09/2008, -7/+6Cat-guided bomb = best idea evar.
  • Tibin05, on 02/09/2008, -4/+1Who thinks of this stuff?....."gay bomb" that's funny!
    • razorsedge555, on 02/09/2008, -3/+4The whole concept that gay men would have no will to fight is misinformed, to say the least.
      • xxA7XxaDdiCtxx, on 02/09/2008, -0/+3Actually the affect of the bomb was meant to make the victim sexually attracted to anyone near them and then they will have no will to fight. It was dubbed the gay bomb since mostly men fight in wars.
      • zspeed78, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Yes, besides turning you gay it had an aphrodisiac that made you want to act on it..
  • sparced, on 02/09/2008, -1/+5Bomb Dogs exist, http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=B2OMnQVpYMY
  • thedinomeister, on 02/09/2008, -2/+5wow, Operation Acoustic Kitty is GENIUS!!!!!
  • MadOgre, on 02/09/2008, -1/+7Winston Churchill said that the Royal Navy ran on the three things... Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash. Or in other words, being in the Royal Navy is just like a weekend in San Francisco.

    The thing about the bat bombs... that idea actually worked in all the testing but they never actually put it to use because we developed the Nuke.
    • glockops, on 02/09/2008, -2/+1Everyone knows Winston Churchill doesn't exists. Gosh, thought you read that article by now. ;)
  • scabbers, on 02/09/2008, -0/+3Ancient Egyptians didn't revere ALL cats, so that story about the persians using lolcats against them is bull.
  • al13n, on 02/09/2008, -3/+7"The project took five years and $15 million dollars before the first field test hit a slight snag when the bugged kitty was released near a Russian compound in Washington and was immediately hit by a car while crossing the street." LMAO
  • ThatsNotPudding, on 02/09/2008, -0/+13"... I choose the exploding rat."
    No; the exploding rat chooses you.
  • LastSight, on 02/09/2008, -7/+2lolz 7. Killer Dolphins
    as if sharks had enough problems....
    "I just was some sharks with Frick'n lasers on their heads!"
  • petebert, on 02/09/2008, -0/+14Bear Cavalry
    • daliminator, on 02/09/2008, -0/+11Yeah, you'd pretty much be *****.
    • Peko, on 02/09/2008, -0/+2Great. Now Stephen Colbert is having nightmares.
  • minnymoo, on 02/09/2008, -0/+2you chose a rat with a bomb up its anus?
  • adooga, on 02/09/2008, -0/+6Dolphins!?!
    *****, I'm already paranoid enough about humans, now I can't trust animals either? Even dolphins?
  • flashdrivecoup, on 02/09/2008, -0/+7Dugg solely for the look on the U.S. observer's faces when their $15 million dollar kitty got smushed by a $500 anti-acoustic-kitty device...also known as a car
    • zspeed78, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1Please buy a more expensive car someday.
  • pigtown, on 02/09/2008, -1/+2Um. This should be called "Animals with Bombs strapped to them" because the whole thing was a variation on that. except the Japanese. that was actually interesting.
  • murdocx, on 02/09/2008, -5/+1Bat bombs lol...
    Cat bombs lol...
    • saisumimen, on 02/10/2008, -0/+1The cat bomb pic is known fake, BTW.
  • parkermt, on 02/09/2008, -9/+2this is the stupidest article I have ever seen...when you make outlandish claims you should be able to cite your sources...buried
    • hawkspur, on 02/09/2008, -0/+4Pretty much all of the weapons listed are matters of public record...moron.
  • thoand, on 02/09/2008, -4/+1I have heard that the cat met another cat of the opposite sex and felt madly in love.
    It forgot the mission and instead ran away with the new found love.
  • JAK2112, on 02/09/2008, -0/+10Operation acoustic Kitty was by far the best

    "The project took five years and $15 million dollars before the first field test hit a slight snag when the bugged kitty was released near a Russian compound in Washington and was immediately hit by a car while crossing the street."
  • americangoy, on 02/09/2008, -10/+3If you like the article, feel free to comment on that guy's blog. This is really sh***y that this is dug 700+ times, has 87 comments on DIGG, and yet no one deigns to comment on the actual blog.

    If the author does not have DIGG but just tracking, all he will see are 700+ hits for some unknown reason and no comments.
  • MrCobaltBlue, on 02/09/2008, -5/+1The flams go 20 feet!

    http://flams.ytmnd.com/
  • income4dummies, on 02/09/2008, -0/+1Great stuff!!!
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