What is Digg?517 Comments
- CptBuck, on 12/14/2007, -8/+370I'm under the impression that, if surrounded, the number of five year olds present would reach diminishing returns. Lets say you are completely surrounded by 10 five year olds. There could be 1000 other five year olds beyond them, but they would have no impact on the fight. I think they're underestimating my five year old fighting ability.
- Spamcan, on 12/14/2007, -7/+300I got 28 but I think that's a bit low. It'd be pretty easy to knock a kid out and swing them around your head like a dead cat eventually knocking out like at least 6 kids. Once they're on the ground it's fairly easy to snap their necks, and kids are pretty dumb so I'm willing to bet I could get away with that at least twice before I had to switch tactics and start backing them against a wall and taking them out with carefully timed elbow thrusts and nut kicks. I'm guessing I could take out at least 25 of the little ***** before I even broke a sweat, and probably end up with a total kill count around 40 or so.
- dimmerswitch, on 12/14/2007, -2/+258Apparently I can take on 28 so I no longer have to live in fear of elementary classrooms.
- statiktv, on 12/14/2007, -10/+239http://www.howmanydiggerscanyourserverhandle.com
- filemeaway, on 12/14/2007, -11/+223On a scale of 1 to 10, how old is Michael Jackson's boyfriend?
Oh bash. - Rozenrot, on 12/14/2007, -0/+188Looks like I can take on 502, all in a bad gateway too. Hmmm.
- Oatmeal, on 12/14/2007, -1/+182Here's the original forum post that this idea came from:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat ...
Good drunken debate from a few nights ago.
The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
The specifics:
- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down. - bot001220, on 12/14/2007, -1/+170Those weren't kids. They were Mexican midget wrestlers. Juarez is infested with them.
- Pake, on 12/14/2007, -1/+167By then you can just build a wall using their bodies while you rest up.
- argoff, on 12/14/2007, -2/+161I actually saw this happen in Juarez once. Some huge buff body builder guy I guess got taken by a kid pick pocketer. When I turned around he was chasing after the kid screaming like he was going to break the kids neck and kill him. Then all of a sudden, dozens and dozens of kids came out of nowhere and started throwing rocks, and the guy started running scared. I got out of there quick.
- inactive, on 12/14/2007, -0/+158That domain name rocks.
- intuin, on 12/14/2007, -3/+142You are ***** awesome.
- BryanTravers, on 12/14/2007, -0/+133You are the Leonidas of toddler combat.
- atdigg, on 12/14/2007, -0/+120you get tired at some point...
- skyfire1, on 12/14/2007, -1/+110It doesn't matter how big you are. If someone throws a rock at you, get the ***** out. All those countless bicep curls don't make your skull any thicker.
- pyro789x, on 12/14/2007, -12/+116Buried for that link not actually working. You should have actually registered that domain to set up that joke better.
- Spamcan, on 12/14/2007, -2/+97Thats nothing, when I punch babies their heads explode in slow motion.
- stevedclarke, on 12/14/2007, -0/+77T-Rex, is that you?
- redhotpenguin, on 12/14/2007, -6/+7824. But if I was in a hallway facing off against them in a hallway or constrained space, their numerical advantage would mean nothing, I could easily take on 240 or more. Just like Thermopylae.
Leader of the 5 year olds - "This madness, this is blasphemy!"
Me - "THIS IS RECESS!" - thailand1972, on 12/14/2007, -1/+67When the world is full of 5-year olds except yourself, ***** the rules
- KidOsiris, on 12/14/2007, -3/+68Finish Him
Fatality
Flawless Victory! - AlexMorph, on 12/14/2007, -1/+66Who still clicked on the link?
- Fatcheeseguy, on 12/14/2007, -2/+67Do you have any experience fighting swarms, such as being chased by a bunch of pissed-off bees or playing starcraft against the Zerg?
-Yes I can micro these five-year-olds. - sotopheavy, on 12/14/2007, -0/+62I can take a single 5 year old in a fight. My short stumpy arms and lack of swarm experience have let me down yet again.
- danconia, on 12/14/2007, -2/+63I don't know man, you've heard in the news about how the kids per classroom ratio keeps climbing, right? You might be safe now but the way the public education system is going you should stay alert when picking up your niece from Kindergarten.
- GeonRebirth, on 12/14/2007, -4/+59I love digg!
- 1ns0mn1ac, on 12/14/2007, -1/+55It sounds like you need to move up to 9 year olds. They're tough. I had one take me down a couple years ago.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was at my grandmother's annual Easter egg hunt. You see, I got all excited about finding all that candy, but I was informed that all of the eggs were for my younger cousins. Well, I really wanted that candy and I'm bigger than my cousins, so I just took it from them. What are they gonna do about it?
Well, I soon found out. My nine year old cousin, Danny, kept whining to me to give him his candy back. I told him that if he could get it out of my hand, he could have it back. He spent awhile trying to pry it out of my hand and digging his nails into my wrist, but to no avail. Unfortunately, he was much more resourceful than I expected. "I know!" he exclaimed. Then he wound up and punched me square in the family jewels. I fell to the ground, writhing in pain, and Danny picked up his candy and casually walked away.
So, if you no longer find massacring 5 year olds to be a challenge, move up to 9 year olds. They're stronger and smarter.
As you move up the ranks, heed this piece of advice: do not underestimate your opponents. Hubris lead to my downfall; be sure to learn from my mistake. - JimSartor, on 12/14/2007, -14/+68I am pretty sure if the whole world was full of five year olds I could kill them all before they had time to breed . . . lemme explain. OK, first of all, the survey ignores the fact that I drive. As long as I have a place to fill up for gas, I figure I am safe. Also, assuming the average 5 year old takes about 2 naps a day and sleep 12 hours, I would have ample time to take many of them out at night after my full 8 hours of rest inside of my car. It's science really . . . for example, I would probably try to find a vehicle with large tires, about a 2 foot clearance and plenty of torque so I would get caught up on all the bodies . . . A humvee would do nicely.
- FreeBadAdvice, on 12/14/2007, -0/+52Your nut kicks and elbow thrusts comments almost made me cover my monitor is soda. I got an image of an adult kicking a kid in the daddy sack and the kid rockets upwards to the adult's head level... because he weighs so little... then elbowing the kid in the face for the finisher. I'm terrible, I know. Rest assured, I never had this thought until I read Spamcan's reply.
- elsagacious, on 12/14/2007, -5/+56Why does Michael Jackson love twenty six year olds?
Wait for it....
Because there are twenty of them! - inactive, on 12/14/2007, -0/+50You're thinking 2 dimensionally, they can climb over each other to get you. How many hanging on your legs and ankles would it take to make you off-balance enough to be immobile? Then they swarm you and you're done, Gulliver-style.
- sotopheavy, on 12/14/2007, -0/+49This should be the first truly virtual reality game they make. Kind of like hello world for programmers and the teapot for 3D computer modelers.
- Psythik, on 12/14/2007, -1/+50Dugg for the StarCraft reference.
- Niubai, on 12/14/2007, -0/+45Yeah, *****, so common in south america. I'm here in Brasil writing this comment and there are 28 5 years old waiting to kick my ass outside, and I need to leave for work. I'm screwed, because my test result was 26. I don't know what to do, probably I'm gonna die.
- 15thPD, on 12/14/2007, -0/+44I see a father of the year award in your future!
- amoirae, on 12/14/2007, -5/+47Why punch babies?
Use a straw on their soft spot and you've got a Stem Cell drink box! - Smalldude76, on 12/14/2007, -0/+41We'll see about that, fxspec.
- caustikBT, on 12/14/2007, -2/+42RTFA, the rules state no weapons and in a basketball court sized room.
- Netrilix, on 12/14/2007, -0/+40Hey, it didn't say you COULDN'T snap necks...
- BryanTravers, on 12/14/2007, -0/+40I'm almost positive that if a grown person kicked a child wearing a cup, it wouldn't matter. Let's assume for a minute that a cup would somehow protect a toddler against a thunderous front kick, I still think you'd have enough power that it'd wind up being a punt at the very least.
- inactive, on 12/14/2007, -6/+45While many laugh, this is normal in south america.......those guy will come out of nowhere.
Looks like I can take 30.........not bad. I would not be against using a small child as a weapon. - zanderw00t, on 12/14/2007, -2/+37Apparently the site could only take 148 of them.
- Spamcan, on 12/14/2007, -0/+34Not really an option when they're thrown at you wielding a switchblade.
- themastersb, on 12/14/2007, -0/+33I know for a fact I can take on thousands of infants.
- cnot3, on 12/14/2007, -4/+37http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c178/timjohenez/ ...
- sotopheavy, on 12/14/2007, -0/+32How many can you take out if you grab one by the feet and spin around
- aukxsona, on 12/14/2007, -0/+32Sounds like my job.
- Naughtyme, on 12/14/2007, -4/+35I got in one lil fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air' ? - mojaam, on 12/14/2007, -2/+33How many seconds does it take before an unprepared website gets owned by the digg effect?
- fxspec06, on 12/14/2007, -2/+32.. but you can't make a wall of dead bodies while sitting here on digg
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