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- outhouseinput, on 10/12/2007, -6/+213Lesson #7: Popularity can be harmful
A man decides to write a funny and informative collection of stories meant to drive home some interesting life lessons. While he was writing them, his wife came by and asked what he was doing. He explained to her that he wanted to send his friends something interesting to chat about at work the next day. His wife advised him to post it on an internet blog for fun. The husband took her advice, but negligently set up his own server without properly analyzing the potential for an instantaneous burst of Digg traffic. The site, therefore, went down in flames hosting a few paragraphs of text.
Moral of the story:
Don't listen to your wife. - glasgowm, on 10/12/2007, -6/+95http://www.duggmirror.com
Below are 6 very funny and true life lessons to be learned that I’ve received via email. Jokes aside, the insight gained is valuable to everyone and I somehow don’t think you’ll regret reading them. ;)
Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: ***** might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who ***** on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of ***** is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep *****, it’s best to keep your mouth shut! - lansuggs, on 10/12/2007, -0/+50Good job outhouseinput, you got in to the article you were commenting on.
I think you created a rift in digg spacetime. - colty045, on 10/12/2007, -9/+44all those morals are very true and the stories are very funny
- jevb007, on 10/12/2007, -5/+32lesson 7: learn English.
- sauron256, on 10/12/2007, -3/+29Learn that not everyone is American.
- GeneralKickass, on 10/12/2007, -3/+20lesson 8: Never preach your crap on Digg.
- Rekzai, on 10/12/2007, -2/+19*insert poor server joke here*
- err0online, on 10/12/2007, -4/+20Learn to learn English.
- biometricks, on 10/12/2007, -0/+16Here's a video of the first lesson from a Brittish comedy series
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vzhYkR5PmA - lansuggs, on 10/12/2007, -3/+17".com" is universal. ".us" is american. And its also spelled humour in Canada, which makes up a large portion of digg users.
- dcmjzero, on 10/12/2007, -7/+21one important life lesson is to not use wordpress. site down.
- enivid, on 10/12/2007, -9/+20funny life lesson number 7: wordpress sucks.
- cubbieco, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12Since I heard a very similar story like this around 10 years ago it's more likely that Man Stroke Woman got it from somewhere else, or two completely different people made up a very similar story.
Oh and turn off the caps lock you moron. - thefaithful, on 10/12/2007, -0/+11You obviously didn't read the article or even the Digg summary because at the very beginning he said he learned these things via email not that he made them up on his own.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10Ah-ha! But you fail to notice what time it was when he posted the mirror. It is very likely that at that time the site WAS experiencing the 'Digg Effect'. There is a 5-hour difference between his post and yours.
Situational awareness and Attention to detail would have saved you from such embarrassment. Better luck next time. - rpgguy1o1, on 10/12/2007, -2/+10xentrion is right, but it's up for debate
and every other English speaking country spells it humour, most notably English people
"American" is not a language, sorry - LembasBread, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7I liked those. +1 to him for giving a witty response to the digg effect!
- rcomegys, on 10/12/2007, -11/+18This list sounds like one of those God-awful emails my Aunt would forward to me. I gained nothing from this.
- xxNIRVANAxx, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8Somebody didn't get the joke.
- Xentrion, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8Actually, Scheissen, CERN (Organisation européenne pour la recherche nucléaire, or European Nuclear Research Organisation) first came up with the underlying framework. Arpanet took place some time later.
- cartoonboy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5"Jesus Christ. Please don't let Digg become like a 14 year old's inbox."
Too late. - oesj, on 10/12/2007, -4/+8is there any other sort of server joke?
- Epik, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4haha good stuff, DUGG.
- bbhh, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4yeah i thought it might be especially funny because the psalm was about sexual purity and that verse was out of context.. but no, that verse is just made up.
- haloevo, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3wow, um, this is embarassing tamrix ... even if I'm not even the one that said it.
Plain and simply, the reason we as members, at times copy/paste the main story from the dugg site is because, what we call the "Digg Effect" takes place, and encumbers the websites specific servers, making it next to impossible (unless duggmirror catches it) to see what all the fuss is about. - CycloneNimrod, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2I hate AOL Grammar.. ¬_¬
- kaiser44, on 10/12/2007, -3/+5the insight gained is valuable to everyone.
who made you the czar of what is valuable and what is not. - ghst, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3great lessons. funny stories, we really can learn a lot from them...
- Legacy23x, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Everyone of those are great.
- Edrick, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2Actually, rpgguy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_English
- Urusai, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Imagine a Beowulf cluster of poor server jokes?
- MisterSam, on 10/12/2007, -4/+5Mirror:http://duggmirror.com/offbeat_news/HUMOUR_Six_Funny_Life_Lessons/
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Thank you for the obvious lessons.
- TheTombo, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0there funny and o soo soo true thanks for this :)
- haloevo, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1What the ***** Scheissen?
We as Canadians were taught to spell the word humour with a 'u' after the 'o', just like many other words. They are both correct in the english language... Grow up and deal with it. - gregmackay, on 10/12/2007, -6/+5Psalm 129 says no such thing. Look it up.
- M0b1u5, on 10/12/2007, -6/+5So very lovely to see the word humour spelled correctly.
- rejoined, on 10/12/2007, -2/+0I bet this article is written or submitted by a brit.
- whatevermoron, on 10/12/2007, -4/+2*Yawn* I guess these may seem amusing or insightful if you are a slave in a cubicle. Otherwise this is just boring nonsense.
- shaitanx, on 10/12/2007, -6/+4This one's cool: "Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up."
Or just very high - obxjdt, on 10/12/2007, -4/+1Living in North Carolina, some how I can relate to these :-P
- daofma, on 10/12/2007, -7/+2That's an odd reaction. Humor is not an oft misspellt word.
- Lane5slacker, on 10/12/2007, -6/+1Gah! The description guilt trips me into reading it. I had no choice!
- tradwolley, on 10/12/2007, -7/+1So, if they are "set to some of Kenny G.'s best songs" and bother people with "ugly graphics, BAD MUSIC..." (emphasis added) are you saying that even Kenny G at his best still sucks, or that you can't write a cohesive argument? (I would not disagree about the Kenny G comment, although they are not mutually exclusive)
- CycloneNimrod, on 10/12/2007, -9/+2Nevermind, digg me down.
- spudnic, on 10/12/2007, -13/+6FWD: FWD: FWD: Fwd this 2 ten peeple and u will get gud luck!
Jesus Christ. Please don't let Digg become like a 14 year old's inbox. - Alex76, on 10/12/2007, -9/+1Lol. 254 diggs and the site is dead... Oh well.. Big up to glasgown for reposting it...
- jevb007, on 10/12/2007, -8/+0I'd love to.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -11/+2Why are you guys digging up the copy of text from the site.
Besides that being illegal due to copyright laws, if i made something creative and it got posted on dig i would want those to see it to visit my site, not read it on some dudes comment. I think its rude for people to copy content off a site and paste it into the comment. You should respect the authors work and for that at lest visit their site. It half defeats the purpose of Digg if someone just copys the content of the site into their comment.
Blog spam is the exception and thats where people link articles from CNN or other create sites into their blog and then post the blog on digg so that there blog site gets lots of traffic from someone else's work; and in that case i think its appropriate for someone to link to the original article in a comment.
Or in cases that the site is down due to high traffic, i think people should be linked to the mirror site from diggmirror or google mirrors.
In all other cases you should respect the authors work and visit their website to see what they wrote. Dont be so slack Digg. -
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