What is Digg?129 Comments
- tibubill, on 10/12/2007, -9/+100It's possible to have platonic friendships with women? I'm pretty sure this guy wrote another piece entitled: "Guidelines for Dividing by Zero."
- robustyoungsoul, on 10/12/2007, -8/+50Platonic relationships can work. Just not with girls. ;P
- Cyggie, on 10/12/2007, -2/+38"11. No asking for man favors such as furniture moving, yard work, or car trouble help." I think a lot of woman keep a guy friend around only for this reason. Once they see this rule, they'll probably end the friendship... haha... :p
- twinklyJesus, on 10/12/2007, -1/+38Not gonna happen, he's married.
- twinklyJesus, on 10/12/2007, -11/+45If you have a lot of females who are attracted to you and you don't act on it, you are either:
A. Lying
B. A *****
C. An idiot
D. All of the above
Do you want to use a lifeline? - darkdaedra, on 10/12/2007, -8/+29I have to disagree completely with this guy. Having a bunch of female friends that are attracted to you boosts self-confidence and does wonders when it comes to picking up women. His "platonic friendship" sounds like a nightmarish relationship developed by a bitter man and I'd stay away from his "ideal" at any cost.
- StarManta, on 10/12/2007, -4/+24Who cares if you check her out? As long as your interactions are not guided by you trying to get into her pants, it counts.
- Comatose51, on 10/12/2007, -0/+17You guys (or we) are just precious. The original topic is relationship with women and we ended up talking about division by 0, infinity, and l'Hopital. The worse part is that those posts got dugg up. Not that I would be any different but just an observation.
Never try Platonic with an attractive girl. Because then you have the friendship at stake if you ever become attracted to her. That's my rule of thumb that I learned the hard way. - dsol, on 10/12/2007, -3/+20The guys' version is much simpler. Just one rule.
1.Platonic friendships are fine, except in the cases this poor married loser is clearly talking about. If you want a girl, if you have "affection" for her, if you "wanted to date" her, then do your best. If you don't succeed, don't be friends but rather move on. Feel free to be friends with girls that you don't want on your dick (Disney version: that you don't have feelings for). - DOUBLEz, on 10/12/2007, -2/+19"No confiding in me about boys. I am not your girl friend; I am your reluctant man friend who officially hates all men that you date now or in the future." Every single time, with every single girl I try to date, arghhhhh!
People should make shirts with this on them, I'd buy a dozen. - Y0tsuya, on 10/12/2007, -5/+21Don't know about other countries, but in Taiwan they're called "spare tires". It's considered good practice to keep a few of those around handy.
- bennybertow, on 10/12/2007, -0/+16A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
--- bash.org - jonesyhahaha, on 10/12/2007, -2/+17This is great. My best friend is a girl, and I think she is oblivious to how challenging she sometimes makes my life. I might have to link her to this.
- bioskope, on 10/12/2007, -5/+20seriously i just cant, i mean every single woman i come across i end up checking her out, every single day. Yea Platonic relationships will never work for guys like me
- paradoxy, on 10/12/2007, -2/+16division by implies a reverse operation by multiplication is possible. for example, 1 divided by two is a half, and a half times 2 is 1. what would u multiply 0 by to get the number on top?
1/2 = 0.5
0.5 x 2 = 1
5/0 = x
0 * x = 5
x = ?
thats why division by 0 is impossible - TheCommodore6, on 10/12/2007, -2/+14I just *love* how this turned into a discussion of mathematics!
- aguilr, on 10/12/2007, -1/+13 Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Gotta love nature ... - halicon5, on 10/12/2007, -6/+18That author sounds like an embittered emo kid trying to sound macho. Not to mention that he kind of sounds like a manipulative sociopath.
- CaptainEO, on 10/12/2007, -3/+15http://www.duggmirror.com
- erkokite, on 10/12/2007, -4/+16I concur. I don't want to hear about other guys. This should be punishable with instant sex as well.
- nthitz, on 10/12/2007, -2/+13@miznig... Yea that doesn't really work... l'Hopitals rule only works with limits, not ordinary equations. Also you can not use l'Hopitals rule on infinity over zero, only on zero/zero or infinity/infinity.
- RandomSkratch, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10You can't sex math.
(But I know some smug bastard is going to derive a formula to prove me wrong...) - anagoge, on 10/12/2007, -4/+13You are not one of us.
Kill the traitor! - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10he picked the lifeline ! and he is calling his, mother ?
- stalinvlad, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11No waving your ***** an inch from their face and stuff....?
- JimXugle, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8Thank you knowledgeable digg community!
i.e. paradoxy and Bob042. - twinklyJesus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8Research "platonic"
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -7/+15This guy needs to get laid
- Feyr, on 10/12/2007, -6/+14see http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html for a refutation of this guide
- kingfoot, on 10/12/2007, -1/+9"7. No sparing of my feelings. It’s emasculating. Don't worry, you already broke my heart, go ahead and heap more crap on me. I’ll turn all embarrassment and pain into bitterness and anger, and then occasionally let it all out in some meat headed act."
nuff said. - twinklyJesus, on 10/12/2007, -4/+12If she goes out with the "bad-boy" then cries to you about it, but won't sleep with you, get the hell away. She has girlfriends for that ***** and it should be an insult to you if a woman is treating you like a girlfriend.
We don't hear what they say until we sleep with them anyway. If we do pretend to listen, it's because we are trying to sleep with them. It's not politically correct, but it is biologically correct. - alpacaOrange, on 10/12/2007, -5/+13I think I need a handy wallet-sized version of this list for regular social interaction.
- sdub74, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8Help! I'm in the Friend Zone! Nooooooooo!!!!!
This only works when the guy has no interest in dating the girl. Otherwise, it's destined for failure. - brundlefly76, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8is everyone on digg 13?
you cant have a girl sitting on the arm of your chair without spouting a boner?
get control guys. - Silencer7, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8Chris Rock: "Men don't HAVE 'platonic friends.' They just have women they haven't ***** YET"
- Bob042, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9@JimXugle
The problem of 5/0 isn't really how to give your apples to 0 people, it's more like finding how many times you can take away another 0 apples from your 5.
Take away 0, then another 0, then another 0, etc. until all the apples are gone.
While you can kind of justify saying that you just give away 1 group of 0 apples, it doesn't work because you haven't yet used up all the apples, which you must to actually divide them.
I'm sure that's just more confusing though. - Fengpost, on 10/12/2007, -3/+10Indeed, as a man having attraction to woman is natural and sometime you just have to keep it in your pants and get over it. What is the big deal?
- diizy, on 10/12/2007, -5/+12i disagree with most points stated in these comments.
I have been able to maintain intresting relationships with all of my female friends which all included many things he says not to do.
who cares if you are attracted to the girl, you can still be friends, you need to learn to hold yourself back. there is this thing that almost no men can do, its called SELF CONTROL.
and every man should learn it. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -17/+23it's infinity unless it's zero divided by zero or infinity divided by zero then you have to l'Hopital it.
- vvvv, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7For men to have platonic relationships with women will be much easier once someone invents detachable 'nads.
- anagoge, on 10/12/2007, -3/+9Excellent rules. If only these were law.
I have the utmost respect for girls, but these rules just sum up how ***** difficult most of them are. - fortmac, on 10/12/2007, -4/+9thats kinda really pathetic
- toastjam, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7I think his problem is that he really wants to make sexy explosion on all of them...
IE, he doesn't really just want to be friends.
I tried being friends with my ex-girlfriend, but eventually I just had to tell her that it was nothing personal, I just didn't want to see her anymore (since I still had feelings for her). I think this guy needs to dump the "friends" that he doesn't want to just be friends with.
On the otherhand, I do have several female friends that I never have slept with, nor desire to. Those are much less stressful. - gmweezel, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5Dugg for humor, not for quality.
- QueenOfSwords, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5Depends if you're on a Reality show.
- InfamousX241, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5As obvious as his points may seem, it's surprisingly hard to be friends with a girl you have interest in. Generally if you take a girl and make her interesting, you have a girl you're attracted to (in one way or another).
We need a couple thousand Jerry Seinfelds to discuss this issue thoroughly. - rolotomasi, on 10/12/2007, -3/+7diizy: So how did you lose your penis? Was it an accident? An illness?
- N1XUK, on 10/12/2007, -5/+91. No hugging for greetings or salutations. Hugging is only allowed for personal tragedies or blessed events when the emotional significance of the situation blocks out the knowledge that your boobies are pressing against me. We have hands; lets shake them.
2. No sleepovers. I think of all women who sleep in bed with me as potential sex partners. I spend all my free time trying to coax women in, so if you get in there, I can’t help but think you want some. If you or I need a place to crash sometime, then we should employ a couch. The breaking of this rule is punishable by instant sex.
3. No seat sharing. When girls sit on the arm of my chair or in my lap or next to me in a one-person seat, it makes me think that she wants some sexing. A possible exception is fitting an extra person in a car that is filled to capacity. I can’t let my passion hurt the quest to maximize a designated driver, but be warned; it might not be the seat belt poking you.
4. No flirting. So if you laugh at a joke of mine, it better be a funny joke.
5. No judgment making on any girl that I see. Good or bad, it’s the guy friends' job to belittle and pick apart girlfriends, if a woman does this, it means she wants the guy for herself. So you think she is trashy and dumb? Well, you could have dated me but you just wanted to be friends.
6. No judgment making on how I treat any girl I might date, be it for six months, or six hours. You have thrown your log onto the fire of chauvinism in my heart, so you are partially to blame if an innocent girl gets burned.
7. No sparing of my feelings. It’s emasculating. Don't worry, you already broke my heart, go ahead and heap more crap on me. I’ll turn all embarrassment and pain into bitterness and anger, and then occasionally let it all out in some meat headed act.
8. No setting me up on pity dates. If you truly know of a woman who would be very happy with me and I with her, then we will talk.
9. No being attracted to me. Impossible, I know, but you seem to have found a way, so stick with that. I’m going to be as attractive as possible in pursuit of other women, so if you are going to be seeing me in a bathing suit, you might want to make sure you are on the pill as the breaking of this rule is punishable by instant sex. In fact, don’t even tell me I look good as that will torment me for days.
10. No confiding in me about boys. I am not your girl friend; I am your reluctant man friend who officially hates all men that you date now or in the future. Asking for hypothetical guy advice is okay; just don’t slam me with details about particular guys you are sleeping with. If this rule seems contrary to rule 7, just remember that I’m a beautifully complex being.
11. No asking for man favors such as furniture moving, yard work, or car trouble help. I don't like to waste displays of extreme masculinity on women who have decided not to sleep with me. In a pinch you can bribe me to do man chores with beer. Please hand me the case as a gift versus doling them out one at a time from your fridge. That keeps it strictly business.
12. Try to avoid incidental contact. I can't outlaw this since there are times when the brush of a leg or a sleeve is purely accidental, but try to be careful. You can take steps to not put your arm in mine while walking or lay against me on a couch or other things like that. Those things would lead me to think you want me to sex you.
13. No asking for massages or neck rubs, that’s a lot of foreplay to waste on someone who doesn't want the main event. Besides, shouldn’t your boyfriend give you massages? Why aren’t we dating again?
14. No dating any guy who treats you bad or neglects you in any way, that’s just a slap in my face. I ***** adore you.
15. No judgments on any of my behavior. It would lead me to think you care a little too much about my well being. So I don't want to hear any, "Stop smoking", or "Don't drink so much," or "Don't use women." Of course if I am truly being an ***** in some situation, feel free to clue me in, that’s what friends do.
16. You have to let me know immediately if you want to be more than friends. I’m only doing this to respect your wishes. If you ever want more, rest assured that I do too. At any moment we can tear these guidelines up and spend 24 hours doing every imaginable sexy act. - ETurner, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Exactly. Pretending to be friends with someone you don't really want to be friends with is "faking it".
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