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Five Things You Shouldn't Be Able To Buy Online, But Can

blogs.westword.com — Coffins? Uranium? Really?

Who dugg this? Made popular 23 days ago

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37 Comments

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  • coreyb, on 11/05/2009, -0/+48From the comments:

    "I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty."

    I lol'd
  • spritom, on 11/04/2009, -0/+25On the Amazon page for buying Uranium Ore:

    Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed
    Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz
    http://www.amazon.com/Uranium-Ore/dp/B000796XXM/re ...
  • Swingdown, on 11/05/2009, -0/+19From the comments on Amazon.com Uranium page:

    "I bought this for my cat and put it with a flask containing poison, in a sealed box. Do you think he likes it ? I've not opened the box yet."
  • Gudeldar, on 11/05/2009, -2/+16We should all be able to buy weed online.
  • Hivetyrant, on 11/05/2009, -0/+14The Amazon link to Uranium has the best review I have ever seen:
    "I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty. "
  • inactive, on 11/05/2009, -0/+13What is wrong with coffins?
  • scooterbaga, on 11/05/2009, -1/+13Comments there are ***** priceless.
  • namslam, on 11/04/2009, -0/+11when I die, I want to be buried IN wal-mart.
  • xbrokennomorex, on 11/05/2009, -0/+7I wanna be buried in a Wal-Mart casket full of uranium. Awesome.
  • TheMadCow, on 11/05/2009, -3/+9It's really scary how absolutely "dumb as a box of rocks", stupid - you people are. Not a single concept of what something is or what it's used for. As long as that blackberry sends texts and your poptarts are hot - just cruise down the highway of life.
     
    I hold out little hope that you're actually going to learn something, but visit United Nuclear (Google, it's a search engine). They use a lot of big words, but the Cliffs notes version for the ADD crowd - they sell science supplies to TEACH chemistry and physics. They're one of the last companies that haven't bowed to the Patriot Act since some things they sell can be "bad". Hard science and chemistry at the High School level is almost non-existant. We used to blow ***** up. Yes, you could get hurt if you didn't follow instructions. Now days, mommie and daddie would be suing the hell out of everyone for exposing their precious little ***** to something called knowledge.
     
    Ah. ***** it. What's the use with you ***** anyway. Bury away. A least I'll probably be dead before any of you are in any positions that can totally ***** everything up.
  • mishabear, on 11/05/2009, -0/+5Exactly...why NOT coffins? It's not like they are dangerous. The owner's already dead!
  • spookyttws, on 11/05/2009, -0/+4Huh, new Uranium only cost's $30 where the seller whose offering it used is charging $2500. Must have something to with it's half life. /s
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B000796XXM/ ...
    "Comments: Found this in some old abandoned village while on vacation. Older, Russian model (PU239)? Please inquire about shipping. Not responsible for damage due to radiation or explosions. Buyer responsible for lead casing. Be the first kid on your block to have a Breeder Reactor"
  • anthropodeus, on 11/06/2009, -0/+3milk? maybe they're making yellow cake?
  • camaroz06, on 11/05/2009, -0/+3I like how the author seems to be disgusted/blown away? that coffins can be bought online.

    I am going to start building a homemade rocket that will be able to lift my ashes into LEO so they can eventually further burn up upon reentry.
  • UV0001, on 11/06/2009, -0/+2It's both alive and dead at the same time.
  • appleseed1234, on 11/05/2009, -0/+2Uranium is a common metal, I don't see how they could ban it.
  • AceTracer, on 11/06/2009, -0/+2Uranium-238 is just a boring metal. Uranium-235 is the good stuff, and no you can't buy that on Amazon.
  • TheMadCow, on 11/06/2009, -0/+2Now Cory, the author is doing back pedals saying, "hey, it's a joke" can't you take a joke? What a tool. That he normally pens for ZombieApocalypse.com might have clued us in to his journalistic credentials.
  • suavek2000, on 11/06/2009, -0/+2They forgot Russian Brides.
  • cogentspirit, on 11/06/2009, -1/+3Wait we can only use coffins for dead people now? I guess I will just have to go with the scorpion trunk as my murder weapon of choice again, and I was so appreciating those low walmart coffin prices. And good slow killing scorpions are so hard to come by theses days.
  • Hivetyrant, on 11/05/2009, -0/+1$29.95 New!

    At that price you might as well buy one for a friend... or enemy...
  • Remmiz, on 11/05/2009, -1/+2You can.
  • nilhilustfreder, on 11/13/2009, -0/+1And Silkworm missiles.
  • soccermatt34, on 11/05/2009, -1/+2People who viewed the uranium on amazon also viewed Tuscan Whole Milk, 1Gal....hmm
  • g0nefishing, on 11/05/2009, -0/+1im buying UFO-02 Detector and Zubaz Pants for sure =)))
  • AmazingSteve, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1We've had a bunch of guys delivering weed to your door in Toronto for like 15 years. No medical required. There's a couple in NYC too,
  • nepidae, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1Why not?
  • sirbeta, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1The Uranium ore that you find online is completely insignificant for anything other than testing equipment or the novelty, so I don't see why it "shouldn't" be available online. I've got a few glass marbles that contain uranium.
  • SuperElvis, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1TL;DR
  • ajkrik, on 11/07/2009, -0/+1And hookers! . . . well buy their services, not them.
  • the699375, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1Just to state the obvious, I'm PRETTY sure that's not actually Uranium. Let's look at the other items available from "Images SI Inc":

    http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&search-type=ss ...

    Trinitite, a Roswell Soil Sample, and of course a Wedding Chapel - 10 x 18 With Wood Roof.
  • inactive, on 11/05/2009, -1/+1I think it's right next to the CP sites...
  • BadBoyFTW, on 11/05/2009, -3/+3Wouldn't the ordering sex part come with sperm included? Surely that's not an extra?
  • shamanking911, on 11/05/2009, -2/+2i hated chemistry back in high school.
  • ModeSeven, on 11/05/2009, -1/+1Is the guy in the coffin actually considered it's owner? If I had a business constructing coffins and someone stole one and buried a relative in it, could I demand it back? THESE QUESTIONS NEED ANSWERS.
  • g0nefishing, on 11/05/2009, -1/+1Uranium??? hahahahah awesome !i wonder how much ?
  • Brak710101, on 11/05/2009, -4/+1Or was it half full?

    Or is it both half empty and half full at the same time until the observer decides?!?

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