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Emergency Zombie Defense Station (PICS)

craftster.org — Behold the ultimate in home safety kits to defend against the legions of the undead! I call it the Emergency Zombie Defense Station. Think of it like one of those fire alarm kits with an axe and an extinguisher or an emergency eye wash station.

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  • ZaNkY, on 10/31/2007, -5/+90"The following information [i]may[/i] increase your chances of survival during the outbreak... cover all brain regions" =D

    The kit doesn't look like it could last more than 2 minutes in a real outbreak IMHO. Better talk with your local mall...

    If you're into "reading" check out the Zombie Survival Guide: http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Survival-Guide-Comple ...
    • leadingzero, on 10/27/2007, -0/+23Best. Book. Ever. One of the only books I'd say you NEED.
      I hope I'm on an offshore oil rig during the outbreak.
      • Fragnarg, on 10/27/2007, -1/+5Yes that is a good place to be, but supplies can run out you must head back to shore.
        • NnyCW, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1Supplies can run out anywhere, but at least you'll most likely be assured safe for quite a while longer on the rig.
        • acwhite, on 10/27/2007, -0/+2I'm looking for a mountain location. Perhaps the Rockies.
    • thcobbs, on 10/26/2007, -1/+14No kidding... The shotgun is all plastic, all the shells have already been fired, and I'm betting that knife will stand up to two swings at most.
      • goldfishey, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1yeah what you want is an old fashioned machette. Nice reach. Long slashing surface, no ammo to run out of....
    • lolage, on 10/29/2007, -0/+34The Zombie Survival Guide is my bible. Wherever I go I always have an escape plan in case of zombie attack, I memorize the locations of resources I'd need and I also live close to water. Maybe this is why I cant be around people.
      • libertinette, on 10/26/2007, -1/+6Y'know, I used to have a zombie contingency plan for everywhere I went, and then I found out I had an anxiety disorder. I've been far less prepared ever since, but a lot happier. At least until the zombies come, then I'm dead meat.
      • coviecarbine, on 10/25/2007, -1/+1I just started reading the Zombie survival guide, I really need to prepare, my .30-30 with 8 rounds just won't cut it. Time to stock up on .22 long rounds.
        • moskaudancer, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1.22 can't be relied on in a pinch; 9mm hollowpoint rounds have more stopping power, and can really ruin a zombie's day.
      • Monkeywithacold, on 10/29/2007, -1/+2Its funny because I read the Zombie Survival Guide during lectures at school.
        The best part: It was Bible school.
    • rudy23, on 10/26/2007, -6/+5zombie kit is in your senses of humourz finding nothing
    • mavranos, on 10/26/2007, -0/+23Also read World War Z
    • tcsucks, on 10/25/2007, -1/+0404: Station not found.
    • izzybomb, on 10/29/2007, -7/+13someone made a movie about the guide
      http://youtube.com/watch?v=RSsJ19sy3JI
    • sotopheavy, on 10/26/2007, -3/+1Honestly why don't the movies use lasers Take a power station, build a fence around it mount remote controlled high powered lasers over the fence. Activate motion sensors while you sleep use remote control during the day so survivors are not accidentally killed. Add solar emergency backup power and high capacity batteries. Bam
    • BinaryMadman, on 10/26/2007, -0/+2I wanted to buy a Shaolin Spade after reading that book, all sorts of awesome.
    • BestJaxx, on 10/26/2007, -1/+1"Removing the head or destroying the brain." Shuan of the Dead qoute.
    • PhantomBantam, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1The author is speaking at Brown Univ. tomorrow for free. And there are going to be a bunch of free zombie movies. Just a heads up for any rhode islanders, its at the cable car.
    • PhantomBantam, on 10/26/2007, -1/+1Odd. Never double posted before.
  • punx777, on 10/29/2007, -3/+10I am putting one of these in my house.
    • vsujohn2, on 10/26/2007, -1/+14Well you're gonna be ***** if you do what he did, he was just making it for fun. Once the real zombies come around I'm gonna want a real god damn shotgun
    • moofer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+7All that trouble to nail down the details, and he just leaves the bare wood. I don't get it. Why not invest the extra 10 bucks on some primer, sand paper (so you can't see the knots through the paint) and some gloss-white paint? Make the thing look like a first aid kit that you'd find hanging on the wall of any public building?
    • yutt, on 10/26/2007, -0/+5This reminds me of The Last Stand flash game:
      http://www.zombiegames.net/The-Last-Stand.html
    • SlipstreamLucas, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1GRRRR i actually thought this thing was for real. *****. I was trying to work out how the hell i could do it in australia with out breaking the million of gun laws related to having your weapons locked up and out of site, and having the ammo in a separate locket compartment etc etc.
  • Senshi, on 10/26/2007, -5/+15Someone made one before and put it on Digg:
    http://digg.com/offbeat_news/Picture_In_Case_of_Zo ...

    But this one is much better. I planned on making one too, but I haven't gotten around to it.
    • Ossuary, on 10/25/2007, -0/+5The Zombie Survival Guide was awesome. The same guy did a Robot survival guide also, but I have not read it.
      • moskaudancer, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1Are you talking about "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"? Because that was written by Daniel H. Wilson, not Max Brooks.
  • meachen, on 10/26/2007, -6/+44take out the Zombie part and that would be good for all houses in Chicago
    • Kbennett, on 10/25/2007, -8/+3Huh?
    • flyingcatcircus, on 10/25/2007, -3/+3Is Chicago immune to zombies? I live in Chicago and I've never seen a zombie. Maybe that's what he meant?
      • SlipstreamLucas, on 10/25/2007, -0/+2actually, Chicago is so full of constantly armed and dangerous people that any zombie outbreak lasts about 5min anyway.
    • hansk, on 10/26/2007, -1/+16i think he means chicago has a high crime rate and you need a gun/knife and shield with you.
    • glc17, on 10/26/2007, -1/+2The crime rate is actually much higher in Washington, D.C. *****
  • chewbacca77, on 10/26/2007, -0/+39I like the colander on the guy's head in the poster.
    • rnwen2750, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1Yeah, it would probably make a pretty good zombie helmet.
    • vornan19, on 10/29/2007, -0/+3He's a Sieve Lord!
  • seopher, on 10/31/2007, -2/+168Get a cornetto, a cricket bat, a cup of tea and wait for it all to blow over.

    Triffic.
    • boomqweeshaa, on 10/26/2007, -2/+23dugg for use of a cricket bat on zombies
      • wendelgee2, on 10/31/2007, -1/+49dugg for 1/2 reference to Shaun of the Dead.
    • bumblefoot, on 10/31/2007, -0/+10how's that for a slice of fried gold?
    • Wendigo6x3, on 10/31/2007, -0/+18yeaaaaaaa boyyyyyyyyyy
    • willjeffery, on 10/26/2007, -1/+15Don't forget to barricade yourself in your local pub!
    • bman784, on 10/31/2007, -0/+4Or...go to the Winchester, grab a pint and let it all blow over.
  • Br0wn, on 10/28/2007, -1/+190You got red on you.
  • JlmAWP, on 10/27/2007, -0/+93You should hold out on purchasing, I hear there is a Kit + Herb bundle about to hit the market.

    Green AND red herbs.
  • keyboardduder, on 10/26/2007, -3/+1610 or so rounds of ammo? Make it count, resident evil-style. Make sure to wait until the zombie gets real close to you. Once hes close enough, shoot the shotgun in the air. His head will blow off.
    • MarkOfTheDead, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1Or wait until they get close and go for you then flail around like a madman. They'll fall back and you can just stomp on their heads and make them pop and save ammo.
    • BevansDesign, on 10/26/2007, -1/+2...or just use it on yourself, because if there was really a zombie outbreak, you'd be totally *****. Better to give yourself a shotgun lobotomy than be ripped to pieces by the hungering undead. Destroys the brain too, so you won't wind up as one of them.

      Why do I feel like I've given this subject way too much thought?
  • markp93, on 11/03/2007, -1/+119The server is dead... or 'undead', mwuhahahaha....
  • Taber38, on 10/26/2007, -11/+8dugg cause zombies are not cool
    • Pixelante, on 10/26/2007, -1/+10They are room temperature.
    • CaptainWookiee, on 10/26/2007, -0/+2If I were a zombie right now I'd eat your brains.
  • Lionhart, on 10/26/2007, -2/+84Somehow I don't think 10 shotgun rounds are going to last very long against the legions of the undead.
    • NeoCortex, on 10/26/2007, -0/+16Just remember to save that last one for yourself.
    • chewbacca77, on 10/31/2007, -0/+55You see, that's the beauty of the kit - it comes with a machete... or maybe its a large butter knife. I can't tell.
      At least you can serve the legions delicious toast.
      • ChuyMatt, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1Er... toast or death?
      • reconbot, on 10/25/2007, -2/+1It's a large cheep butchers knife, which might as well be a butter knife. rtfa
    • KingGorilla, on 10/31/2007, -0/+48That's only starter ammo! Once you kill one or two an instant box of ammo will magically pop up from the corpse and start hovering in place maybe rotating slowly.
      • moskaudancer, on 10/28/2007, -2/+5And emitting a bright red light, don't forget about that part.
    • danger127, on 10/26/2007, -2/+3That and all the primers in the shells are used. So really, with that kit, the only thing of any worth is the chrome machete.
    • neftaly, on 10/26/2007, -1/+6I think you're all kinda missing the point...
    • MetaMars, on 10/26/2007, -3/+1The shotgun is fake to begin with. So the kit is fail.
    • MetaMars, on 10/26/2007, -1/+1Doublepost. :(
  • powerhouse, on 10/26/2007, -0/+39Bird shot won't penetrate the skull, he needs either buckshot or slugs.
    • Pixelante, on 10/26/2007, -2/+1BRI Sabot X. That's the way you do it.
    • seopher, on 10/26/2007, -5/+2So powerhouse, you'd happily fire a shotgun loaded with birdshot into your head would you? Safe under the logic that it wouldn't penetrate the skull?
      • powerhouse, on 10/26/2007, -0/+3I'm not a zombie seopher..... I also don't want a paper cut, so I guess that would be deadly under your logic?
    • IEatHamburgers, on 10/26/2007, -0/+3Not that it matters, the shells are empty anyway.
    • coviecarbine, on 10/26/2007, -2/+2Go for .22 long rifle, they have been known to hit the back of the head and ricochet around the skull. (Zombie survival guide)
      • moskaudancer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+3.22 isn't useful at all unless you hit the zombie in the head before it gets too close; that said, .22 can't be depended on to penetrate the skull every time, anyway. If you want cheap, light ammo, get yourself a 9mm.
    • number5, on 10/26/2007, -1/+3A shotgun is useless with zombies, to much noise not enough stopping power. a rifle or crossbow would be better. well the cross bow would be best no noise, and recoverable ammo
    • themattreid, on 10/25/2007, -1/+0you've clearly never shot a 12gauge slug before, have you?
      You take the crossbow. I'll stick with the 12gauge.
      • moskaudancer, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1I think what he means is that the stopping power isn't worth the extra weight, since any weapon that can destroy a zombie brain (like a crossbow or a rifle) is acceptable. The other disadvantage to the shotgun is the large ammunition; it's harder to carry a hundred shotgun shells than it is to carry a hundred rifle cartridges. And crossbow bolts can be reused.

        Remember that a zombie can only be killed with a shot to the head; even if you dismember it with buckshot, you'll still have to worry about snapping jaws.
        • CabesMojo, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1I think the key to the shotgun is it is that it requires the least need for accuracy, combined with good close range stopping power. Not like we can all be as prepared to perch ourselves in a conveniently located zombie blind like you're deer hunting with a rifle. Zombie always try to corner you indoors where a shotgun would be ideal.
        • moskaudancer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+2The other problem with shotguns is the limited ammo capacity... unless you've got access to a military model, which is still illegal in the US, you're pretty much stuck at 8 rounds. And don't forget you can't simply replace an empty magazine with a full one, you have to load each fresh shell separately. Even at close range, you'll still need the accuracy to hit it in the head; even if you knock it backwards, it'll just get right back up. And it's actually a lot harder to use a shotgun than is depicted in the movies; there is a small button that must be depressed before racking the pump back (not the safety) that differs for different models. "Know your weapon" is always good advice.

          Then again, as a flight weapon-for escaping an area, not hunting/killing-a shotgun and twenty or so spare shells is quite useful. Just don't rely on it for a primary weapon, it doesn't have the same utility as a semi-automatic carbine or even a crowbar or machete.

          As far as training goes: if you live in a somewhat densely populated area when Z Day occurs, and you don't have the know-how already, you're probably screwed if you get confronted, anyway.
          • Scaster513, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1"there is a small button that must be depressed before racking the pump back (not the safety) that differs for different models. "Know your weapon" is always good advice."

            fyi, you don't need to press that button after pulling the trigger, its for unloading.
          • moskaudancer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1I knew that, my point was, don't just assume it's as easy as it looks to use a gun.
      • SlipstreamLucas, on 10/26/2007, -1/+1i'm with themattrieds - nothing says no more zombie like a buck shot, especially sawn off for maximum spread close in. If you've got 5 zimbies closing in on your fast, i guarantee you going to want a pump action shotty (with detachable drum magazine - 30-50 shots people!!! and fast reload, and do the research they do exist) then being stuck with a ***** crossbow. That being said, crossbows would be great for backup/longshots.
        • number5, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1A shotgun puts a wall of metal between you and your target. A target than can feel and care about pain it is great weapon to use in close combat, but with zombies they don't care about the pain from being peppered with lead and up close you have the splatter effect to deal with. now a rifle is your best bet for the stoping power and ease of use. but i still say a crossbow is a more logical choice than a shotgun being once you fire one shot you will pull ever Z in the area to you
  • Eleniatari, on 10/25/2007, -0/+8This one is the best so far.
  • fant0m, on 10/26/2007, -2/+28Bush has one of these kits - he's known about a potential zombie attack/invasion for a while!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoXgRtDysLY
    • NeoCortex, on 10/26/2007, -0/+7He should know about it. Didn't he run with one as his vice president?
    • GREEDOnvrFIRED, on 10/26/2007, -1/+14Bush does NOT need one of these kits. Zombies hunger for brains.
    • signal15, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1FOX news just reported that zombies are lighting the CA fires.
  • misconfig, on 10/26/2007, -2/+3This is so awesome!
  • celestial, on 10/30/2007, -3/+10-footbal shoulderpads: check
    -oven mits : check
    -spaguetti pan :check
    • mstoneburner, on 10/30/2007, -0/+39football
      mitts
      spaghetti
      • chewbacca77, on 10/30/2007, -0/+21How did he get "shoulderpads" but not "mitts?"
        • dogarms, on 10/30/2007, -0/+10Even stranger, he changes the place of his colon every single line! Baffling.
  • yujie, on 10/26/2007, -1/+6This is for only 10 zombies?
    • KingGorilla, on 10/26/2007, -0/+13an entire army if you can work that machete
    • modifiedbears, on 10/26/2007, -0/+320 if you manage to shove the shotgun through the mouth and out the back of the head of a zombie to shoot the one behind it.
      • SlipstreamLucas, on 10/26/2007, -0/+3i see you've encountered the brain munching ***** before.
    • wrzhydr, on 10/26/2007, -0/+2Assuming you have great aim...
  • jcastillo81, on 10/26/2007, -1/+29Knives don't need reloading...
    • toekneebullard, on 10/26/2007, -0/+3Knives also aren't good for shattering skulls. No win for this guy.
      • fhornplayer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+4You don't need to shatter the skull, you can chop the head clear off, or stab them in the eye. As long as their brain organ is destroyed/disconnected, they're dead.
      • ChuyMatt, on 10/26/2007, -0/+6Remember, it is REMOVE THE HEAD or destroy the brain.
        • toekneebullard, on 10/25/2007, -0/+2True, but removing the head with something that is barely more than a large knife isn't going to be easy.
  • BigRobStank, on 10/26/2007, -1/+1...the hell...where is the hatchet?!
    • LeeSoong, on 10/25/2007, -1/+11 word -

      chainsaw.
      • moskaudancer, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1One word: gasoline.
      • Nergal, on 10/26/2007, -0/+0NEVER burn zombies. It won't kill them right away. And they will be burning while shuffling towards you
  • whatthefu, on 10/26/2007, -33/+2Zombie jokes are getting old.
  • seandfeeney, on 10/26/2007, -10/+3This has been posted WAAY too many times...
    • nutzngum, on 10/25/2007, -0/+4nuh-uh...
      *I've* never seen it.
      and i STILL haven't seen it as it's pooched...i'm checking further down for a mirror.
  • sekou, on 10/26/2007, -0/+9Is it wrong to love this with all my heart?
    • wrzhydr, on 10/26/2007, -2/+2it's wrong to love anything that isn't ron paul, iphone or [insert digg phenomena here] with all your heart....
  • jbob2000, on 10/26/2007, -5/+8Too bad the shotgun is fake...
    • beedo34, on 10/26/2007, -2/+2yeah, i picked up on that.
      wtf kind of shotgun is that anyway. a shotgun (even if it was real) of that size with those rounds would make the gun fly out of your hands every time.
      a texan can pick up on these things :)
    • mandarin, on 10/26/2007, -2/+2Too bad there arent any zombies...
  • tdelet, on 10/26/2007, -1/+10The only rational thing to do is join up with the zombies.
    • swanny89, on 10/26/2007, -0/+19Ahhhhhh! He's one of them! Kill him!
      • SlipstreamLucas, on 10/26/2007, -1/+3done.
        dont worry swan, tdelet aint posting no more.
  • tdelet, on 10/26/2007, -2/+6damn buggy crap caused a double post.
  • stympman, on 10/26/2007, -1/+2A true zombie kit would include all this plus: grenades, radio-pda will all stores in the US that sell ammo and weapons(plus other important survival info), more ammo, keys to a reinforced hummer.
    • KingGorilla, on 10/26/2007, -0/+8Hummers have terrible mileage
      • IEatHamburgers, on 10/26/2007, -1/+2What, you can't take over a gas station and kill zombies at the same time?
    • genconkeeper, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1Rain suit for zombie splater and eye protection.
    • gmiley, on 10/26/2007, -0/+8Meh, grenades are next to useless against zombies. They have too great of a chance to do more damage to you or a friend than to stop a zombie. Grenades rely on shrapnel to do damage to internal organs, which wouldn't bother a zombie unless you got lucky and the brain-case was hit. I would prefer dynamite sticks for an explosive if anything.
      • mercano, on 10/26/2007, -1/+4Maltovs are good for thrown splash damage if your zombies are weak to fire.
        • moskaudancer, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1"All that needs to be said is this: FIRE = BAD!!!"
          -Eliot
        • gmiley, on 10/26/2007, -0/+2You don't want to use fire unless you have the zombies contained, it would suck to have wandering flaming zombies burning down your fortifications, or killing yourself with smoke inhalation.
    • lordsteve, on 10/26/2007, -0/+8just the keys? not the actual hummer?
    • kuzotz, on 10/26/2007, -0/+5By the time a zombie holocaust happens.. My airship base would've been completed. It will be as big as a small city, and it can go into space, but its mainly just a floating city that is domed in of course. Only the smartest will be allowed in it.. That means from the poor kids in africa and asia. If they are smart they are in.



      Of course by doing this. Once the whole world is filled with zombies. The cit would've grown and broke off into a another city of course that can float, and by 50 years. There will be an empire. The last of humanity lives from from the infection in the skies... No one goes to the ground, and some of the airships are purely for agriculture. Of course wi thin 200 years. More would've branched off and then there would be more countries that float. Of course war will ensue with awesome battleship scenes, and explosions and when a battle ship "sinks" it hits the ground where the crew members will be eaten away by zombies on the ground. Then they'll start capturing zombies and using them as weapons in order to destroy whole floating cities. Of course when the war ends they will rebuild, and learn to never ***** do that ***** again. By 2500 the surface is still iunlivable but the skies will still be the limit. of course we would've been in space by now, but earth will be a special "case" planet in which it is the only place for zombies to live on the surface, and that humans live in airships. By now the domed floating cities infrastructures would be unsustainable so humanity plans on leaving, and this is when my reincarnation will be born. His name will be Faliek.. Of course I will fall down to the surface during a battle and find out that zombies don't exist and that the domed cities had turned super fascist and had hidden the fact that people can live on the surface again. Of coarse there are some humans but with no way for them to contact the domed cities they are left behind forced to live as hunter gathers.. MY journey starts here, and ends on the planet New Zürich in the Helix star system. In an epic battle in a repaired ship that once crashed on earth with the crew members that were stranded wanting revenge against the fascist gov't.
      • fhornplayer, on 10/26/2007, -1/+10You need to get laid.
        • kuzotz, on 10/25/2007, -1/+2I know still a virgin. Too much energy, and too much time on my hands............ I plan on doing so once I'm sure I want to commit myself to someone. The problem with 1 night stands is "what if the woman gets pregnant." Yea I will avoid that seeing that I'm only 19, but I've done lots of other things with my life. Mostly I travel cross cultures blah blah blah... Currently have a girlfriend but she wants to be celebant (most likely was a slut in highschool)..


          Movies video games wouldn't be good if the protagonist wasn't fighting a fascist regime.
          • lordsteve, on 10/26/2007, -0/+8forget getting laid, you need less caffeine
          • kuzotz, on 10/26/2007, -1/+1I don't drink anything with caffeine...... I just think my friend. I use my time to think. Even when doing other stuff. So ideas such as these come easy to me... Which is why writing comes easy for me.
      • lordsteve, on 10/26/2007, -0/+3sounds like a good plot for a reimagined "The Jetsons" movie.
        • kuzotz, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1it would make a kickass movie. Not the Jetsons though. The one reason why I hate the Jetsons is because there are no black people, no asian people, no hispanic people, no native people. Just white people.

          WTF is that *****?
  • republicker, on 10/26/2007, -1/+5You cant kill zombies w/ bird load. God you think anyone *smart* enough to build that would know.
  • portwojc, on 10/26/2007, -1/+16Needs better shotgun shells than 7 1/2's. You're not hutting wabbits.
  • Zhara, on 10/25/2007, -2/+2useless without a cricket bat
  • ncc74656m, on 10/26/2007, -2/+23I want!

    But I concur with some of the criticisms, but with some caveats.

    Regarding the number of shells available, remember that you need to balance weight, effectiveness, and the availability of resources depending upon the type (and therefore size) of outbreak you're facing. If it's a small outbreak, you just need to ensure your own defense and perhaps consider a small localized offensive to clear out the local infected.

    My primary criticism is with the size of the machete in question, and weight. While I understand that this is, in particular, for demonstration purposes, remember that weight and heft are what you're going to need the most in a hand to hand combat scenario with the undead. Remember that you MUST not fail to remove the head with the first blow, and the human neck, particularly if the undead in question is fresh, is a tough item to cleave through. Ask me how I know.

    That being said, I think this kit should only be used in a small and very sudden surprise attack by the undead, and should only be used to eliminate a small imminent threat, or to make your escape in the event of a larger attack. Also remember that combating the dead by yourself is extremely hazardous, and you should always fight, particularly in close quarters, in pairs. If someone gets attacked, do NOT wait for them to turn before granting them the merciful release they would want. If you wait too long, you may wind up joining the ranks of the undead, and at best, this is bad for you, and at worst, creates at least one more of the undead for your human compatriots to subdue later.

    If you ask me, I think a more fair sized machete, a .22 pistol, and an M1 Garand are by far better weapons.
    • Superflks, on 10/31/2007, -29/+2Zombies aren't real.
      • ncc74656m, on 10/31/2007, -0/+39And it's exactly that kind of attitude that will get you killed.
        • kuzotz, on 10/26/2007, -0/+10Also if some old lady tries to get their dog and breaks the barricade that has you and the survivors protected. You kill that older lady.
      • moskaudancer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+2Your mom isn't real. See? That didn't feel too good, did it? :'(
    • nbcaffeine, on 10/26/2007, -2/+14How do you know?
    • nallelcm, on 10/26/2007, -12/+1NERD
    • moskaudancer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+10A .22 pistol doesn't have the penetrating power to get through a human (zombie) skull every time, go with a 9mm hollowpoint. The problems with the M1 Garand are a small ammunition capacity (8 rounds) and the fact that you can't reload a half-empty magazine. Go with an M14 or an M21, they're the same design as the Garand, but fire removable 20 round mags and use more common .308 ammunition.
      • gmiley, on 10/26/2007, -0/+10Actually a .22 can penetrate a skull at close to medium range. Which you will be if you are firing a pistol. Besides, a .22 is a lot lighter, and easier to aim than a 9mm and up. Not to mention the ammo is lighter and easier to come by.
        • Antha, on 10/25/2007, -1/+1That's true. You don't find very many M1s lying around. On a totally unrelated note, I wish I could get a legal barrel that is that short on my Mossberg. Le sigh.

          An Uzi with a mushroom clip would work too. Has three time the capacity.
          • moskaudancer, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1Automatic fire when you only need 1 headshot each = waste of ammo. Get a 9mm carbine instead, Ruger and Beretta both make excellent ones.
        • moskaudancer, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1.22's nice for revolvers, just don't expect a .22 semiauto (pistol or rifle) to feed as well as a 9mm or other rimless cartridge. The rimmed base makes them more likely to get stuck on a mechanism or another cartridge while being loaded. Another reason to choose 9mm: they're center-fired cartridges, so they can be reloaded, if you know how; not too difficult, with the right training and equipment. The bottom line is that, while they're lightweight and marginally more common than 9mm (in the US, at least), they just don't guarantee the same stopping power a 9mm hollowpoint does. (On a more ominous note tying in to that last one, keep in mind you might also be shooting at human targets, too... they'll be less willing to let you line up for a headshot, and reaction-shooting will be important in that case.)

          Also, 9mm recoil is barely any worse than .22, you won't even be able to tell the difference a week after switching. Of course, I prefer a compensated barrel for a pistol, anyway, like a Glock 19C.
      • fhornplayer, on 10/25/2007, -1/+1But it can enter through the eye and bounce around a bit, turning their brain to mush.
        • SlipstreamLucas, on 10/26/2007, -0/+3head shots are hard enough on a moving target let alone "eye shots" !
    • Pixelante, on 10/26/2007, -4/+0Contrarily to popular myth, you don't turn into a zombie if attacked by one. Those creatures kill to eat, and a zombie bite doesn't "turn" anybody, it just causes a rapid and fatal infection. ANY recently deceased will reanimate in a zombie outbreak, unless the cause of death involves decapitation and/or massive brain trauma.
      • jen328, on 10/25/2007, -1/+0Oh....my....god.....Could I please have back the 3 seconds I just wasted reading your comment?
      • kuzotz, on 10/26/2007, -0/+8T-virus,

        puts what he said to shame.
    • adraft, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1Uhh a Garand costs 1000 minimum these days and they're used, plus they are freaking huge and heavy. For 950 you could pick up any type of AR-15 style rifle, and for much less than that you could find an AK style weapon or (even better) a CETME/G3 for 300-600 dollars. Hell, just buy an SKS and trick it out with some gear from TAPCO for that much money.
      And a .22 pistol is going to kill 100% of the time only at VERY close ranges, like point blank practically. Get a 9mm or a .45, I've always fancied a nice 92 or 90-Two from Beretta myself.
      All of this aside though, pick up a combat shotgun at your local sporting goods store (300$). It's a long story but you can get military grade combat shotguns from stores like Dicks. All of these are better options than a .22 and a Garand.
      • moskaudancer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+3I recommended an m14, but a Ruger mini-14 would be a good bet, too.
        Also, if you're gonna get an Armalite rifle, the AR18 is a better choice than the AR15; more reliable, and cheaper too.
        G3s are great because they can make reasonable sniping weapons with the addition of a bipod and a good scope.
        • adraft, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1I have a mini-14 and would've recommended it if it's 1 in 7 twist didn't mean you have to get like 69 grain ammo if you want to be accurate. I said AR15 instead of the AR18 because it's generally easier to find (at least where I live).
          And on that note, I was in the gun store today and the only high grain .223 ammo they sell is hollow point, what the hell.
        • Djchicken, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1I wouldn't go for the G3 because you wouldn't want to be sniping because at the range where the added weight of a bipod + scope outweighs the accuracy, you should be noticed by the undead, and thus, would not want to attract attention to yourself by sniping them
  • KingBunny, on 10/26/2007, -5/+1Probably more useful than the in-case-of-revolution-break-glass kit.
    http://ft.mirror.waffleimages.com/files/56/56c57ae ...
  • TheKidd, on 10/26/2007, -3/+2..
  • osteo, on 10/25/2007, -2/+1Cool kit. Now if you were to include a glass jar with dog or pig brain (with alcohol/formaldehyde) to aid in zombie distraction techniques....that would be totally awesome.
  • miketherazor, on 10/31/2007, -0/+13You'd better use 00 Buck shot. That 7 1/2 bird shot is just going to piss them off.
    • awtripp, on 10/25/2007, -2/+1Flechette rounds would probably work best on Zombies
      • moskaudancer, on 10/25/2007, -2/+2Nope, narrow little darts will only go straight through without causing much tissue damage. The 8 or 9 tungsten slugs in 00 buck will stop in the zombie, transferring all of their kinetic energy into it and knocking it backwards even if it isn't killed.
        • awtripp, on 10/25/2007, -1/+1That's not quite how they work. They will go straight through some armor, however
          "The behavior of the flechette changes drastically when it passes through the armor into soft media, such as flesh. Here, the flechette destabilizes very rapidly and begins to tumble. In tumbling, the flechette will diverge significantly from the line of flight which generates two forms of wounding effect, an extended crush zone produced by the temporary and permanent cavity formation and induced blood loss caused by the lacerations created by the flechette as it tumbles. Further, the energy of each flechette will be distributed over the much greater area of the flechette's side during tumbling" (patentstorm.us)

          The first of the two "wounding effects" being the one of interest.
        • moskaudancer, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1+1 for info
          I guess that makes sense when I consider the wounding effects of the SS190 ammunition of the Five-seveN... I might want some of this stuff, how much does it cost compared to 00 buck, and do I need a rifled barrel to fire it effectively?
    • gmiley, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1Slugs make zombie brains melt.
  • Fixxxer, on 10/26/2007, -4/+2Awesome! Much better than the one I made a couple of months ago...

    http://toolmonger.com/2007/09/28/glove-winner-in-c ...
  • tehnico, on 10/26/2007, -3/+3For everyone saying that the 7 1/2's aren't strong enough.
    This depends on the age of the zombie. An older zombie will have degrading to a solid mush, while a fresher zombie will still have a resilient skeletal system and tough meaty flesh.
    • moskaudancer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+5The most logical course of action is to assume the worst; don't plan on the zombies all being rotted. This will be used at the beginning of an outbreak, when the zeds are still fresh, anyway.
      • Pixelante, on 10/25/2007, -1/+0You do remember that 1) only the recently deceased reanimate and 2) reanimation dramatically slows the effects of decomposition, don't ya?
  • AW23, on 10/26/2007, -7/+4I, for one, ... ah, ***** it.
  • genconkeeper, on 10/26/2007, -1/+10I'd hit Home Despot and buy a shovel grind the edge nice and sharp and make my own Lobo. Hey I read WWZ.
    • yaddayaddayoda, on 10/26/2007, -0/+0If you want a REAL shovel, buy a Boy Scout shovel or the same model from Cold Steel:
      http://www.coldsteel.com/92sfs.html

      It is modeled on the Soviet Spetznaz fighting shovel. They won't let the Boy Scouts carry pocketknives, but BOY HOWDY they can carry a dangerous shovel. You could hack a zombie's head off with this thing.

      I carry this one in the trunk of my car during winter... maybe I should carry it all the time in case of zombie attacks...
  • adoringava, on 10/25/2007, -3/+1This is great! Obviously it wouldnt do well in a real outbreak-considering the gun is fake and all- but I doubt he meant it for a real emergancy. the riot shield and instructions are the best!
  • lostarchitect, on 10/25/2007, -5/+1...needs some molotov cocktails, DUH.
    • ncc74656m, on 10/31/2007, -1/+11You idiot! You should NEVER EVER set a Z on fire! They just become a walking torch for a couple hours! In an urban or even suburban environment, you can't risk that!

      Gah, next to the Z's, you're the first thing I look to plug.
      • genconkeeper, on 10/25/2007, -2/+1Fire = people that's bad.
      • moskaudancer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+6In the words of Eliot: "All that needs to be said is this: FIRE=BAD!!!"
      • lostarchitect, on 10/25/2007, -2/+1Clearly, you are not a bowler.
  • icegoddess13, on 10/25/2007, -0/+7No way in hell would there only be that little bit of ammo in my kit!!!
  • Chubs879, on 10/26/2007, -0/+11Where's the most valuable zombie killing weapon: the crowbar? Not as fragile as a machete, and easier to handle. I'd have both a crowbar and a machete, and some sort of sheathed knife.

    On top of that food rations are essential, the shotgun almost too much firepower, but I do like how the cover of the kit turns into a shield.

    This has inspired me to make my own...
  • missingnoh4x, on 10/25/2007, -6/+1I'd prefer a chainsaw. Ammo won't be an issue there.
    • genconkeeper, on 10/26/2007, -0/+13Ah .....gas
    • ncc74656m, on 10/26/2007, -0/+11Gas, which will be in desperately short supply by that time.
    • coleki, on 10/26/2007, -5/+2now i totally want to make an electric chainsaw.. maybe a hand crank to charge a battery...hmmmm *plots*
  • HHP2K, on 10/26/2007, -5/+8That's not a machete. That's a kitchen knife. I have one.

    Lame.
    • rnwen2750, on 10/27/2007, -2/+5I don't know why you're being dugg down - the knife is not the same size as most machetes. It is far too short.
  • ptom, on 10/25/2007, -1/+1What? no sade records included in this kit?
  • FoolsRun, on 10/26/2007, -0/+11A machete is not necessarily the best choice here. The goal is to remove the head or destroy the brain, and it's gonna take a lot of hacking to get through the skull of a zombie before they bite you. Give me an aluminum baseball bat over a blade of any kind.

    I realize I'm in disagreement with Max Brooks on this, but I feel strongly about it.
    • moskaudancer, on 10/26/2007, -0/+2That's why I recommend a sharp, long blade like a katana or a claymore. A long weapon, like a full sized sword (or a large crowbar) will allow you to keep your distance from their biting jaws.
      • kuzotz, on 10/26/2007, -0/+4I have a longsword.

        but I prefer a cricket bat.
      • toekneebullard, on 10/26/2007, -0/+6except a long blade like a claymore is useless in a hallway.

        Crowbar for the win. Medium size, heavy, and doubles as a tool.
  • genconkeeper, on 10/26/2007, -0/+27Since Z's are attacked by sound you almost need something like a thumper from "Dune". A "Moaner"(TM) in a tight situation attach the Moaner to any location set the timer and run. After the preset duration the Moaner starts making noise. Babies crying, dog barking, people yelling for help. Z's will go for it while your far away. Brilliant!
    • FoolsRun, on 10/26/2007, -0/+14That, sir, is a spectacular idea.
    • genconkeeper, on 10/26/2007, -0/+11Thanks, I don't know why no one has thought of it before.
    • jamima69z, on 10/25/2007, -0/+2outstanding!
  • mavedatthews85, on 10/25/2007, -4/+1Wow... got a little extra time on your hands, do ya?

    The only thing that would make this dorkier would be if it were Star Wars or Star Trek related.
    • FoolsRun, on 10/25/2007, -0/+4If you're not prepared, you'll part of the problem. It's people like you that the rest of us are going to have to take down with tools like these.
  • genconkeeper, on 10/25/2007, -0/+2Actually in WWZ Max Brooks backs off of the machete and goes for the what he he called the Lobotomizer. Basically a long handle shovel with a razor sharp blade and a balance steel pointed end. With practice one could take off a Z's head with one stroke and then strike strike another with the spear end. And all at a good distance from Mr. Zombie, with a lower chance of zombie brain splatter.
    • FoolsRun, on 10/25/2007, -0/+3A good idea in concept, but when preparing a kit like this, you have to stick to tools that actually exist. When your neighbors are clawing at your windows, you don't want to be sitting there with a survival kit that has a big Lobo shaped hole in it.
      • genconkeeper, on 10/25/2007, -0/+2You just head down to big box store and find the shovel that had the feel and grind the edge nice and sharp. Then hit the Army Surplus store and find the bayonet that would best fit the other end. Alittle wood working and you've got your own DYI MR. Lobo. It might take acouple attempts to work out the bug-gs, but its doable, then its practice time with Mr Watermelon.
        • kuzotz, on 10/26/2007, -1/+2All I need is a swiss army knife. Seeing that I can jsut throw the knife straight through the zombie heads. You see I'm good like that.
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