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Do you dress like a douchebag? [flowchart]

i258.photobucket.com — Well, do ya?

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  • Accolade1, on 02/19/2008, -244/+45Excessively complex for a two-bit joke. Buried.
    • suzywang3000, on 02/19/2008, -72/+14you're a ***** retard if you didn't laugh at that. you're buried.
    • jamble, on 02/19/2008, -41/+11Agree with Accolade1's comment. This is unfunny ***** that seems to be more popular than ever on digg.

      Buried.
      • abyss478, on 02/20/2008, -2/+16...don't get mad at the fact it told you that you dress like a douche...
      • mickcn, on 02/20/2008, -2/+2Your in prison, aren't you?
    • fhornplayer, on 02/19/2008, -5/+78I miss the days when people would just bury/digg stuff and not feel they have to justify their actions. When comments were engaging, and made me laugh or think about something.
      • itsgotyou, on 02/19/2008, -1/+15dugg!! i share your opinions, however, my brain can not spit out an engaging comment at this time. please try again later.
        • JustFender, on 02/19/2008, -7/+5haha, you did what hes complaining about but your agreeing with him so...i dugg you for that reason
        • Rheic, on 02/19/2008, -2/+9I hate to break it to you JustFender, but he did that on purpose.
      • sleepwalkers, on 02/20/2008, -0/+5Wait, when the hell was that?
        • fhornplayer, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1Before the phrase "dugg for (whatever)" became popular.
      • geoboy, on 02/20/2008, -0/+8I've had a digg account for nearly 3 years, and I don't ever remember a day like you described.
    • NoCt1, on 02/19/2008, -2/+16I love this entire comment post. Everyone bitching about burying *****.. I wasted time reading all the buries
      • skankyBacon, on 02/19/2008, -6/+2And, somewhat hypocritically, added to it.
    • Blazers, on 02/19/2008, -3/+13I dugg him down for being the first person, and having the shot at making the best, most dugg joke, but failing!
    • thatashguy, on 02/20/2008, -0/+18It said you're a douchebag, didn't it?
    • btchsntsht, on 02/20/2008, -0/+3confusing for a retard? yes
      confusing for a person with an IQ of 55 or higher? no
    • cawpin, on 02/20/2008, -3/+2Buried for calling a kilt a skirt.
  • antiorblkflag9, on 02/19/2008, -8/+214Hey, I'm not a douchebag. Or at least I don't dress like one.
    • mhender, on 02/19/2008, -18/+3LOL SO FUNNY.
      • cocokr1sp, on 02/20/2008, -5/+2antiorblkflag9: +124 diggs at the time of reading
        mhender: -8 errr, let me....ahhh -9 diggs
        pwnt
    • NoCt1, on 02/19/2008, -2/+35I do.. The stripes get me
      • toggo, on 02/19/2008, -3/+13"Are they vertical stripes?" > NO >
        "Are they horizontal?" > NO >
        "Yes they are" D'oh!
      • a22e, on 02/20/2008, -0/+36But I am wearing diagonal stripes! What now?
        • macabaret, on 02/20/2008, -0/+11I had that exact same thought. Also, I'm drinking from a plaid flask, which is kinda like vertical and horizontal stripes all at once. I'm a douchebag, aren't I?
        • cor315, on 02/20/2008, -0/+11diagonal stripes? isn't that a higher level of douche
        • bluezinc, on 02/20/2008, -1/+7Diagonal Stripes > You're a douchebag
        • tech42er, on 02/20/2008, -1/+2You broke the cart. Douchebag.
        • jmahnn, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1Double Douche!!
      • jetfuel, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2Are you Jack White?
    • MattB123, on 02/19/2008, -1/+15Whew! Me neither. But apparently I dress like I'm gay. Not sure what's worse...
      • xsquirrel378x, on 02/19/2008, -7/+8gay probably. douchebags at least attract slutty girls, not guys
        • JustFender, on 02/19/2008, -6/+8but for all you know he may indeed be gay
          • JoeDiggsIt, on 02/20/2008, -0/+9Wow, more reverse homophobism. Why would he say, "But apparently I dress like I'm gay. Not sure what's worse," if he was gay.
        • MattB123, on 02/19/2008, -2/+9It might bother me if I was in the market, but since I'm married I can live with it.
          BTW, it was the Ugg snow boots my wife bought me that did it.
          • Furkle, on 02/20/2008, -2/+8they aren't even ***** snow boots, they're supposed to be worn as a post surfing boot. Douche Bag.
          • drewowilson, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1wow. way to defend uggs man... my girlfriend would have said the same thing.
          • tech42er, on 02/20/2008, -0/+9Post-surfing boots? WTF?
          • MattB123, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1Whatever kind of boots they are (they could be "gay boots" for all I care) they are freakin' awesome for wearing in the snow. We had 60" in 60 days where I live and they have come in very handy this year.

            'round these parts we make fun of the people who wear stylish, impractical for the climate clothes or footwear.
        • macabaret, on 02/20/2008, -1/+9Are you kidding me? My gay friends pick up more chicks then anyone else I know. They just... don't know what to do with 'em afterwards.
    • azbmr, on 02/19/2008, -0/+4Apparently, the trick is to just be wearing pants. That gets you through safely (unless I can't read or follow directions).
      • maci01, on 02/19/2008, -1/+2Or pants and a plain white t-shirt.
      • WildTang3nt, on 02/20/2008, -0/+16But just wearing pants would mean you're dressed like an Abercrombie & Fitch model, therefore, you'd be a douchebag.
      • lintmonkey, on 02/20/2008, -0/+4Unless they're jeans. It's not 1983, you know.
    • Scaryclouds, on 02/20/2008, -6/+22So if I wear a vertical stripped button up shirt I'm a douchebag? Sorry I have to call ***** on that.
      • npg6913, on 02/20/2008, -6/+37shutup... douchebag
      • Brasky, on 02/20/2008, -1/+8I have to side with the douchebag here. Striped button ups =/= douchebag.
        What the ***** is with this list? Does this guy just wear jeans and plain t-shirts?
        • Bonzidave, on 02/29/2008, -0/+1I thought I did really well not being a douchebag. I like wearing jeans and a plain t-shirt.
      • jonstafari, on 02/22/2008, -0/+2I agree... basically, the only clothes you can wear are solid colours and jeans? ***** most def....i like variety. so if i wear a solid pink button up with jeans i'm not a douchebag? i think the kid sitting in the office next to me in the pink shirt and jeans qualifies. ***** on this...
    • BestJaxx, on 02/20/2008, -1/+11My shirt only has one stripe, therefore not "stripes." I passed.
    • CobaltBlue, on 02/20/2008, -0/+10Apparently I dress like a turd sandwich.
      • BestJaxx, on 02/20/2008, -0/+4"You're a turd sandwich."
        "No sir, you are in fact a tur..."
        "You're a turd sandwhich."
    • Lutremi, on 02/20/2008, -3/+4Just because I dress like a douchebag...does...NOT...mean...I AM a douchebag.
      • madpie, on 02/20/2008, -0/+6Google Trend search on the word "douche," showing gradual increase: http://www.google.com/trends?q=douche
        • patthew, on 02/20/2008, -0/+4You need to set it to only search for results from the US, France skews the results. Interestingly, usage of the word peaked in 2004, dropped sharply, and has been increasing very slowly ever since.

          Too bad nobody will see your comment because its parent is getting dugg down.
      • awhiteflame, on 02/21/2008, -0/+1The word for a "a shower" is « une douche » in French, hence the massive apparent douchebaggary in France.
        • Jargonaut06, on 02/22/2008, -0/+1When did the French start showering?
    • Matsky, on 02/20/2008, -1/+9Clothes don't make the douchebag, the douche makes the douchebag.
      • jonstafari, on 02/22/2008, -0/+1finally, someone with _some_ sense!!!
    • btchsntsht, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1or so you think....
    • Spider208, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1is it 1983... lol
    • sotopheavy, on 02/20/2008, -4/+1Whoever made this flowchart is a ***** douchefag. Guys always call other guys douchebags and they always will until there is a funnier more degrading word. Trying to change the way you look or who you are to be exempt from someobdy else's persona of a douchebag makes you an actual douchebag. Just be yourself and if somebody calls you a douchebag, give them the ***** finger, you douchebags!
  • thecatcantalk, on 02/19/2008, -95/+15Too long, not funny. Next!
    • suzywang3000, on 02/19/2008, -17/+8are you kidding? you must be a giant douchebag. buried.
    • 2shae, on 02/19/2008, -5/+3Your wrong, was funny. Yes!
    • Rev0lver, on 02/20/2008, -2/+3You must have been dropped on the head several times as an infant.
  • plundstedt, on 02/19/2008, -87/+362I'm wearing horizontal stripes and that automatically makes me a douchebag? I don't think so.
    • AMACTASTIC, on 02/19/2008, -30/+386The title of the flowchart only says that you dress like a douchebag.
      Unfortunately, your comment confirms the flowchart's conclusion that you are, in fact, a douchebag.
      • sotopheavy, on 02/20/2008, -7/+3Whoever made this flowchart is a ***** douchefag. Guys always call other guys douchebags and they always will until there is a funnier more degrading word. Trying to change the way you look or who you are to be exempt from someobdy else's persona of a douchebag makes you an actual douchebag. Just be yourself and if somebody calls you a douchebag, give them the ***** finger, you douchebags!
        • lazyeyesam, on 02/20/2008, -1/+2Sounds like douchebag propaganda to me.
        • piouspeter, on 02/22/2008, -0/+0I believe the new word to use is douchefag. Nice usage... though I don't agree.
      • skadd, on 02/20/2008, -1/+1He states his opinion, wich makes him a douchebag..
        Hah, I think you're the douchebag, douchebag :-)
    • Gryffydd, on 02/19/2008, -10/+17It doesn't make you a douchebag, it just makes you look fat.
      • zanonymous, on 02/20/2008, -2/+060-70% of America should be wearing vertical stripes, 90% of the pacific including New Zealand should to, except Australia, they're alright.
    • Lux7, on 02/19/2008, -2/+115At first when I went through it, I ended up at the "You're gay, right?" answer. But I didn't understand why the hell I'd end up at that. I dress normally and don't do anything gay or douchebaggy. So then I went through the flowchart again and found what I did wrong. At the "Are you wearing a skirt?" question I thought it said "shirt" instead of "skirt". But of course, I need a flowchart to make me feel secure about my sexuality.
      • twistedtrick, on 02/20/2008, -30/+10Maybe you should learn how to read dumbass
        • cor315, on 02/20/2008, -0/+21harsh......douche
        • MadEnvoy, on 02/20/2008, -0/+3A harse douche gives twisteddick a bit of credit. It would be more like "wet sponge... douche".
        • moraldebate, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2That was the most hilarious buried comment I've read in a long time. Some comments really do seem a lot more appealing when they're buried.
        • gettempapa, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1Dugg for being the most out of place comment I've seen all day.
      • awesty, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2I did the same thing :P
    • antiorblkflag9, on 02/19/2008, -16/+4Yes it does asshole
    • monkeestylee, on 02/19/2008, -7/+11i thought horizontal stripes just made you look like a watermellon
    • gothsquirrel, on 02/19/2008, -4/+10You read the flow chart right. You dress like a douchbag. OBEY THE INTERNETS
    • andyeddy, on 02/20/2008, -7/+3...douchebag
    • MyDiggIsBig, on 02/20/2008, -24/+3A couple months ago I got fed up with these striped sweaters and wrote something to express my frustration. it seems sorta relavent so i thought i would share.

      What is going on people? What happened to our clothes? You know exactly what I am talking about you conforming bastards. And you know exactly what article of wearable crap I am talking about. You people aren’t stupid, I know you have noticed this new trend in clothing, this new black and grey striped sweater business. Yes, those Emo looking sweaters with the enormous stripes on them, the ones where one in ten people are wearing at any given moment. Do you know that you idiots who actually wear these look like those tourists who wear the same clothes while out on vacation, or like butt-buddies out on a date, pronouncing to the whole world that you’re together. Guess what, I don’t want to see this crap. Do you think you are being unique? Do you seriously think people look at you and worship your manly yet feminine style of clothing? No, they look at you like they look at a guy with a toupee, talking behind your back, wondering whether or not you think we are stupid enough to buy your crap.
      Now, most people know how ridiculous the Uggs are, and the girls know how they are constantly made fun of for wearing them. But hey, they are warm and comfortable, so they have a reason for wearing those flower pots on their feet. But what the hell is your excuse for wearing a sweater that has the design of geometrically spaced strips of crap plastered all over. Yes, and lets not forget those beautiful trendy colors. You know, the ones that range from black and white, to black and grey, or some combination of black and festive diarrhea. The holiday season brought out a few more colors out as well, such as butt crust brown and bloody stool maroon. Oh, and my favorite type are the ones that sport that cool little flimsy hood. Yah, that delicate thing on the back of the shirt is actually a hood. I could fart from a mile away and that hood will slip off your head, just like the condom your dad used which ended up creating your stupid ass.
      Now, I am sure you have seen many girls wearing this as well. Well guess what, they can pull it off. You know why? Because it is a women’s sweater. Shocked? I wouldn’t be surprised if some of you aren’t, because most of you who wear this probably like cross dressing anyway. But for those guys who didn’t know, well here is the news, this sweater was not made for you. I don’t care if the GAP told you it’s for guys, those stripes still make you look like you belong in prison with a cell mate named Ass Shanker. So please, unless you enjoy these types of activities, I beg you to lay off this penis inverting sweater.
    • blackeagle613, on 02/20/2008, -1/+2gaah my eyes
    • twistedtrick, on 02/20/2008, -3/+8Shutup douchebag...
    • cor315, on 02/20/2008, -2/+0nah, that just makes you a nerd
    • Matsky, on 02/20/2008, -5/+24I think this was written by a douchebag in denial, that's why. Proof:

      "Are you wearing stripes?"
      -> "Yes"
      ...->"Are you me?"
      -> "No"
      -> "You're a douchebag."

      What a wanker.
      • missingnoh4x, on 02/20/2008, -1/+2That's the joke, douchebag.
        • Matsky, on 02/21/2008, -1/+1The joke is that the author is a douchebag? ...?
    • HolyMan28, on 02/20/2008, -5/+5SURE DOES FAG
  • bryano, on 02/19/2008, -12/+485Huge mistake. Crocs = douchebag is a one step process.
    • fancyj, on 02/19/2008, -2/+51or a two step process! zinggggg.
    • bernandoo, on 02/19/2008, -23/+5at least it's a comfortable step!
      • OOTZ, on 02/19/2008, -1/+1*exotic accent* Its better to look good than to feel good.
      • ispeakasian, on 02/20/2008, -0/+3Prepare to be dugg down to hell.
      • funkingmajic, on 02/20/2008, -1/+2Never thought of myself as a douchebag, but I love my crocs, I even wear them in the snow when its 20 degrees out :)
    • DemDude, on 02/19/2008, -9/+2I thought it was a huge success!
      I'm making a note here...
    • JRW5061, on 02/20/2008, -0/+12http://www.thefashionpolice.net/2007/06/george_bus ...

      Point made.
    • mdoerr, on 02/20/2008, -0/+3I have to come home every morning and look at my roommate's crocs laying on the floor at the front of the door.
    • arichard, on 02/20/2008, -0/+10Douchebags hijacked crocs. They are incredibly useful when backbacking or boating.

      However, I will concede that wearing them in any other situation is a bit douchey.
      • ispeakasian, on 02/20/2008, -3/+1Dugg up for "douchey"
      • CeeJayDK, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1My mother wears them , but only when she's gardening , so I think she can be excused.
    • aus33thor, on 02/20/2008, -2/+0I friggin hate crocs! has ne1 seen there crossbreed between a croc and a moccy? it makes my eyes bleed a lot..
      • Daggerfall, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2I work in a hospital and I wear crocs. It's either those or white clogs...which of the two is the least douchiest?
  • 93TILL503, on 02/19/2008, -3/+119How much do clothes cost in The Matrix?
    • Erez, on 02/19/2008, -8/+13what?
    • MrGordonLiu, on 02/19/2008, -0/+19Drive monkey, drive!
    • Drkgodess, on 02/19/2008, -1/+15dugg for Grandma's Boy reference
      • Apoc04, on 02/20/2008, -0/+3lol i feel that, people can get past a dog, but nobody ***** with a lion.
    • TwistyMcFister, on 02/19/2008, -1/+13Adios Terd Nuggets!!! bew bew bew bew bew bew
    • subterfuge, on 02/19/2008, -2/+320 BTU w/o sales tax
    • SwedishNinja, on 02/20/2008, -0/+4...I can't drive to the Devil's house, man.
    • LJRod82, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2Kane: "I don't listen to techno."
      J.P.: "You would if you had robot ears."
  • koach, on 02/19/2008, -10/+434Dugg for "is your collar popped?" How those asshats think that looks good is beyond me.
    • wrestlingnrj, on 02/19/2008, -3/+56I've always told all of my friends that if I ever see them with their collar popped that I reserve the right to punch them in the face.
    • Rendonsmug, on 02/19/2008, -1/+23"I turned my collar to the cold and damp."
      • mhender, on 02/19/2008, -2/+10That's the best reference I've seen on this website. I wish I could digg you through the roof. (In a non-sexual manner...not that there's anything wrong with that)
        • mattwalton56, on 02/19/2008, -0/+7...I'll digg you through the roof. ;)
      • kingcam, on 02/19/2008, -3/+9They missed the "Are you wearing a trench coat" question, collar popping is excusable in a trench coat.
        • swrlyhrly, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1Depends on whether your naked under that trenchcoat or strapped.
      • FordeX, on 02/20/2008, -1/+1We've been Garfunkeld. ***** me.
    • quomen, on 02/19/2008, -31/+9And how are you not being a douchebag right now? I sometimes pop my collar but isn't that my own sense of fashion? I'm not a douchebag nor am I full of myself. It's just like how I don't understand why people like wearing "METALLICA" shirts and if they think it looks good? Whatever, it's our own sense of style and I think we'd all be tools if we wore the same thing. It's also nice to have the neck protection when playing golf you know.. Functionality. Or perhaps you though that a collar that's up is an automatic douche button. While parts of that flow chart were funny, a lot of it seethes the same douchebaggery that it's making fun of. It's like that Vista commercial made by somebody who probably hasn't used vista. Lets stereotype a lot less, k?
      [/blockoftext]
      • mhender, on 02/19/2008, -2/+8Well...at least his collar isn't popped.
      • Daniel591992, on 02/19/2008, -2/+9lol, douchebag.
      • twitchr, on 02/19/2008, -1/+8You, my friend, are a douchebag.
      • mnemy, on 02/19/2008, -1/+36Now you're a whiny douchebag
      • ucg1, on 02/19/2008, -2/+17quomen is the classic example of a douchebag. It didn't help his case that he mentioned playing golf, the ultimate douchebag sport.
        • Yuska, on 02/20/2008, -1/+2And the people in New York to tell the fire to 'go ***** itself, go ***** yourself!' and it does. So instead it burns down Long Island and Connecticut killing all the rich white assholes and completely destroying their evil, faggoty gold courses.
          /George Carlin
          • ccxftw, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1I'm from Long Island, and I'm definitely not rich. Go take your island burning elsewhere. :P
      • CatalystGhost, on 02/19/2008, -0/+12"It's also nice to have the neck protection when playing golf you know.. Functionality."
        And... this is covering the douchebaggery, how? Seriously.
      • StanMort, on 02/19/2008, -1/+4You don't know you're a douchebag and you don't know how to read a flow chart.
      • cpussman, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2epic douche
    • bjs3171, on 02/19/2008, -11/+2it should be:
      Is your collar popped? > Is it 1953 > Do you have a time machine > DOUCHE BAG
      • chiefbandit2200, on 02/19/2008, -1/+7No. Collar popped is automatic grounds for dressing like a douchebag.
    • quomen, on 02/19/2008, -9/+3Oh, and edit: Do you think you looks so great with a mustache and goatee? Your profile picture screams d-baggery to me. You're an asshater.
      • Ipwnyou, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1And how do you not look like an asshater now by being so immature as to come back and call him one? Lol now you're a whiny, douche baggish, asshater.
    • juicebag, on 02/19/2008, -2/+2If that picture is you, you look like a douchebag.
    • bigillz, on 02/19/2008, -6/+6Popping collars on shirts does look retarded and pretty douchebaggy. However, spend some time in Europe and you'll see that collars up for jackets is the norm. When I bought a $2k hand-made/tailored leather coat in Florence, when trying it on I folded the collar down - the tailor slapped my arm, flipped the collar up, and called me a stupid American. Collars up on jackets makes sense - it keeps your neck and ears warm.
      Again though, on shirts - douchebag. On polo shirts - super douchenozzle.
      • Godel, on 02/19/2008, -1/+47you're a douchebag for buying a $2000 dollar coat.
        • sleepwalkers, on 02/20/2008, -1/+14It's bad enough that he openly admits he spent $2000 on a coat, but he also was so proud of it he had to point out that it was a hand-made and tailored leather coat from Florence.
      • MyBacchanalia, on 02/19/2008, -1/+9Lol totally...$2000 keeps me alive, fed and inebriated for a third of a year. But I've got to agree...
        Shirt collar popped? You're probably wearing Lacoste.
        Coat collar popped aka tastefully put up? Totally different story. You'll look like Harrison Ford in Blade Runner...with twice the amount of Replicant action.
        • sotopheavy, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1maybe if you live on maggots in a cardboard box licking toads
      • xyqxyq, on 02/20/2008, -1/+11If you were any sort of a man you would have flipped the collar back down and uppercutted the sonofabitch.
    • loopyloopy, on 02/19/2008, -1/+25should be an extra step after "is your collar popped": are you 'the Fonz'? ---> Heyyyyy
    • Poolshark19, on 02/20/2008, -0/+8i have my collar popped sometimes, but its usually so hot casings dont burn my neck at work....am i still a douchebag
    • GibitStylin, on 02/20/2008, -2/+19yea this collars popped, cause im the ***** man, and everyone should know it... jagerbombs!
    • EvoPsy, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2I think this fits: http://www.digg.com/comedy/The_Financial_Prospects ...
    • merreborn, on 02/20/2008, -0/+5It's a side effect of all the natty ice.
    • michaelmit, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1only looks good on King Cantona
    • katiepadowski, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1Dugg for use of the word asshat.
    • melonade, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2I guess they think it's rebellious... Nature did not intend for collars to be "popped."
    • Syphon8, on 02/20/2008, -0/+3Is your collar popped? -> Are you Tyler Durden? --> Douchebag.
  • ghgh1313, on 02/19/2008, -10/+259are you full of vinegar? ---------> YOU'RE A DOUCHEBAG!
    • moraldebate, on 02/19/2008, -1/+11I pity the fool who diggs you down, that's hilarious.
    • Gudlyf, on 02/20/2008, -0/+3Well you could always mail them one: www.mailadouche.com
  • moxillaq, on 02/19/2008, -19/+11It hurts my eyes. I didn't even try plugging myself in, I need a female version. "Do you dress like a pee-brained slut" or something.
    • soundofmind, on 02/19/2008, -2/+24I was going to politely tell you it was "pea-brained" (referring to the small size of said brain, not a brain filled with urine), but then I remembered this: http://xkcd.com/385/

      Girls suck at language.
      • kingvik, on 02/19/2008, -1/+31/3 x^3
      • darkgreystar, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1Please don't lump all of us into that group. Some of us do have a brain.
        • SpawnLikeRabbit, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1do you all share the same brain?
        • queenstarsha, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1if you're one of them, then you should have understood that that was his/her point.
        • missingnoh4x, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2That's the joke. So thanks for proving that girls are stupid.
      • queenstarsha, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1holy ***** that ***** sums it up.

        girls are foul-mouthed.
    • Malchus89, on 02/19/2008, -1/+4See that would be clever if you were actually a girl,
      But you're just a liar.
      • funkyjunk3, on 02/19/2008, -0/+1Cat fight! Cat fight!!
        Oh, whoops.
    • Fludd777, on 02/20/2008, -3/+3Don't dig her down. It's a real live girl. You never see those on teh interwebz.
      • queenstarsha, on 02/20/2008, -1/+1you make the world stupider every time you make that joke.
    • moxillaq, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1Sensationalism. Woot.
  • DarkSamus, on 02/19/2008, -2/+37almost had me,
    i'm still a douche though
  • Blazers, on 02/19/2008, -37/+209Does your shirt say Hollister? Abercrombie? Old Navy?...Douchebag!
    • num3thod, on 02/19/2008, -27/+5Do you wear blazers? => Douchebag!
      • mhender, on 02/19/2008, -7/+23Uh...so nobody's allowed to look professional? Buried for being a *****.
      • Blazers, on 02/19/2008, -4/+3Portland Trail Blazers...recognize the logo, your a douchebag for not watching sports!
        • Namaha, on 02/20/2008, -1/+1Do you wear the above poster? => Douchebag!
        • gstep, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2You're a douchebag for thinking that people who have interests different than your own are douchebags. (For the record I love watching sports)
    • BigBallistix, on 02/19/2008, -4/+32Ha! My Calvin Klein is safe. Excuse me while I order around the crew of my yacht so I can look like a big man in front of my mistresses =)
      • jimpod14, on 02/19/2008, -1/+33k, so like the only options left are banana republic, CK, and tommy hilfiger? or do u just want ppl to wear walmart brand clothes?
        • CatalystGhost, on 02/19/2008, -3/+7Or... other shirts that aren't really made by people in 3rd world countries...
    • rbdkx, on 02/19/2008, -4/+12haha mine says HCO!
    • PxCxG, on 02/19/2008, -7/+92Wait... old navy? that's not douchie! That's just regular.
      • DarkSamus, on 02/19/2008, -0/+32it's what i can afford
        • Ayrapetov, on 02/19/2008, -1/+10I can afford much, MUCH cheaper, and I don't dress like a douchebag.
        • maci01, on 02/19/2008, -1/+4I was gonna say the same thing. Its incredibly cheap there. However, Gap, which I believe is owned by the same company is pretty damn douchebaggie.
      • cmblechar, on 02/19/2008, -7/+2Perhaps using the word douchie is kinda douchish... don't cha think?
        • Whippets, on 02/19/2008, -0/+3As long as it's not a sweater vest from 1997.
      • queenstarsha, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1brand names are douchie. what're you, a billboard? no? then you're a douchebag.
    • fhornplayer, on 02/19/2008, -7/+52Old Navy isn't douchie.
    • down4twenty, on 02/20/2008, -2/+22whats wrong with old navy?
    • BestJaxx, on 02/20/2008, -11/+1I HATE HOLLISTER!!! Why pay 120 dollars for an uncoftorable shirt that has nothing special on it except Hollister in red letters?
      • 4LeggedtriPod, on 02/20/2008, -1/+3I hate Hollister too, but their shirts are nowhere near $120, Some Ralph Lauren and Lacoste shirts don't even cost that much.
        • BestJaxx, on 02/20/2008, -1/+1I've seen a one hundred dollar shirt from Hollister. I swear.
          • 4LeggedtriPod, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2I used to wear some of their *****, unfortunately, before the 12y/o's started becoming their main clientele, and I've never seen anything, as far as just shirts go, over like $70-80. And if they're shirts were $100 they're jeans would be a bit more. They're jeans are like $30-50 and cheap as *****. The button broke within a week.
      • tikiman453, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2they are nowhere near $120. the most expensive t-shirt i have seen/bought there was $40. which is reasonable for those of us who don't want to look like wal mart dressed us.
    • Rhapsodys, on 02/20/2008, -1/+15What if I found my Abercrombie shirt at Salvation Army?
    • hanyoon, on 02/20/2008, -1/+37Hollister, Abercrombie, and Old Navy is still a hell of a lot better than Ecko and those wannabe "ghetto" stores.
      • 4LeggedtriPod, on 02/20/2008, -0/+6Or even real ghetto stores for that matter.
      • charlestoN1, on 02/20/2008, -0/+4fake ones are worse
      • tikiman453, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1not as bad as south pole.
      • gstep, on 02/20/2008, -1/+1 I think that statement was kind of racist. I don't think I'd say the stores are wannabe. Maybe the 14 year old white-kids from the suburbs who shop at them are wannabes, but not the stores themselves.
    • karel747, on 02/20/2008, -2/+11Hey! Look at me! I paid money to be a walking advertisement!
    • moush, on 02/20/2008, -1/+8I guess we should all get our clothes from Jinx.
      • anewname, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2Yeah... Talk nerdy to me! コンピュータ言語で話そうゼ!
    • F1lo, on 02/20/2008, -3/+5Lacoste FTW
    • psykiv, on 02/20/2008, -0/+3So all of my Nordstrom brand shirts are safe? Sweet!
    • charlestoN1, on 02/20/2008, -7/+5lol i enjoy being a douche with money wearing abercrombie
      • Treason, on 02/20/2008, -1/+3Douchebag
      • GibitStylin, on 02/20/2008, -2/+2doucebag^2
      • tikiman453, on 02/20/2008, -2/+2thank you! all these people are just jealous of us because we decide to spend our money on good looking clothes instead of picking up a pair of pants on our way to the video game section of wal mart.
        • queenstarsha, on 02/20/2008, -1/+1yes. we're just jealous of how hard you rock your expensive douchebaggy style.
    • KyleGoetz, on 02/20/2008, -1/+8ITT people with no fashion sense try to stroke their egos. You need to go to the new /fa/ on 4chan and learn a thing or two. I don't know about Hollister, but Old Navy is clothing for middle class people; that automatically makes you a douche?
      I will agree on A&F, though, but that's because it's a ***** racist-as-***** corporation.
    • airstrike, on 02/20/2008, -3/+4hollister actually has shirts that fit greatly for me. i like them for the variety in colors and how well they fit me, so i really don't think i'm a douchebag for picking comfy/good quality/inexpensive shirts when i'm out shopping.

      i'm sorry, but that's a fail.
      • irresolute, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2Hollister has the only polos that fit a tall, slim guy like me well. I guess that makes me a douchebag.
        • tikiman453, on 02/20/2008, -0/+3not at all sir, the best fitting t-shirt i own is from hollister! pants too! people don't realize that they can spend the same amount of money on good, durable, fashionable clothes as they do on super-deluxe-holy-***** editions of halo 3!
        • airstrike, on 02/25/2008, -0/+1don't bother, they'll just digg you down instead of understanding some people have different priorities in life.
    • gstep, on 02/20/2008, -1/+2It seems to me that a lot of people on Digg dress like the computer science majors at my school. I passed the original douche flow chart but I guess I'm a douche now because I'm wearing a gray zip-up hoodie (no logos anywhere mind you) that cost $10 at Old Navy. Having good hygeine and wearing t-shirts that don't reference some Japanese cartoon and/or video game and jeans that aren't black does not automatically make you a douche.
  • fudged71, on 02/19/2008, -12/+53the chart was ok. Strangely, not as funny as I had hoped
    • RandomSkratch, on 02/20/2008, -0/+3Yeah and he made fun of Michael J.... not cool... seriously not cool..
    • Coded1, on 02/20/2008, -0/+2its ok you can admit it.
    • moush, on 02/20/2008, -2/+2These charts are ways for people w/o senses of humor to express their opinions in a seemingly funny way.
  • snoonoo, on 02/19/2008, -10/+81Are you from New Jersey and is trying to redeem yourself?
  • br0wnstar, on 02/19/2008, -11/+201Do you make flowcharts like a douchebag?

    Enjoy Scrolling? ---> Yes ---> You're a douchebag.
    • wutitang, on 02/19/2008, -14/+4I thought the flow chart was nicely constructed. Douche bag...
      • specialK16, on 02/20/2008, -0/+4Yeah sure, unless you are naked, you are a douche bag.
        • bagboyrebel, on 02/20/2008, -1/+2well in all fairy never really defined "other weird shirt," so I guess that part is open to interpretation.
    • bjs3171, on 02/19/2008, -6/+1uh, scrolling is only one of the best activities of the past decade. how is that even debatable?
  • OnlineAddict, on 02/19/2008, -10/+3I do not! Don't add me to the list, haha, but this is hilarious
  • HypocriteDigg, on 02/19/2008, -30/+7Apprently the only way to NOT be a douchebag on Digg is to be a ***** nerd. Douchebags.
    • JazzFlight, on 02/19/2008, -0/+12Well, I really feel he should have added "Are you wearing a flame/dragon/wolf/Disney/Taz shirt right now?" to weed out the undesirables.
    • DinosWillDie13, on 02/19/2008, -2/+13Does your popped collar make you say that?...

      or was it the skirt that got you?
    • CatalystGhost, on 02/19/2008, -4/+2Well, let's see. Digg. Originally a tech news site. For, you know, technologically-inclined people. A.k.a. nerds. You don't like us? Well, get the ***** off my site, then.
    • OdinMW, on 02/19/2008, -0/+6rolf im a nerd and i still failed like 5 times
    • tikiman453, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1haha!! yes! well said sir! dugg for the diggers, like me and you, that don't have their mother's dress them in the morning!
  • peterjmag, on 02/19/2008, -10/+220Nowhere near as funny as the bacon flowchart: http://www.ghostinthemachine.net/bacon-flowchart.j ...
  • Scottievm, on 02/19/2008, -2/+63Wore horizontal stripes today, I guess I'm a douchebag...
  • wrillo, on 02/19/2008, -22/+15so if you wear clothes, you're a douchebag. yeah okay. buried.
  • seantubridy, on 02/19/2008, -0/+81Are you plastic? Yes. Do you carry a feminine hygiene product? Yes. You're a douchebag.
    • hobbitsareneat, on 02/19/2008, -9/+1LOL.
      • hobbitsareneat, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1PS that wasn't meant to be sarcastic. I literally laughed out loud when I read that comment.
  • ChefEspeff, on 02/19/2008, -15/+8The guy that made this is a douchebag for making comments on what people wear. There's a certain point at to which anyone can comment on someone clothes, like if they're wearing a wife beater or popping their collar. When you start noticing and pointing out the fact that someone is wearing horizontal stripes is where you start being a douchebag.
    • ucg1, on 02/19/2008, -0/+5Spoken like a true doucehbag
    • Whippets, on 02/19/2008, -2/+1You're just made because the chart said that you were a douchebag.
      • meburnette, on 02/20/2008, -1/+1my flowchart of how to spell "mad" points to you being a douchebag
  • legendxx, on 02/19/2008, -9/+4extraordinarily accurate
  • iPood, on 02/19/2008, -5/+80Are you me? -----> Yes -------> Oh.
  • jimbruno, on 02/19/2008, -5/+288It says I'm not a douchebag.

    Dugg down as innaccurate.
    • Ligersinkenya, on 02/19/2008, -2/+6Thank-you. Everyone is a douchebag to someone else at some point or another for what they wear. End of story.
    • Hefelumpman, on 02/19/2008, -0/+16for your hilarious self-deprecation, you deserve more diggs.
    • donutwant, on 02/20/2008, -6/+6The term is buried douchebag
    • BestJaxx, on 02/20/2008, -2/+11It says you don't DRESS like a douchebag. We all know that you are one.
  • divxrippimp, on 02/19/2008, -15/+2Your NOT a douche if your Nude and Hairy and not a hippy???
    Was any thought put in this, it might as well be titled,
    "if you read this flow chart you will feel like what you wear makes your a douche no matter what"
  • Phil1ip123, on 02/19/2008, -2/+114If I was Teen Wolf, and someone called me a douche I'd ***** maul them.
    • PxCxG, on 02/19/2008, -1/+14Agreed, Teen Wolf IS NOT a douche bag!
      • whitenerdy92, on 02/20/2008, -1/+4Not according to the chart
      • cor315, on 02/20/2008, -1/+3Teen Wolf is from the 80s, so he's not a douche
  • fletcherrr, on 02/19/2008, -8/+19I'm a douchebag for stripes?
  • Bajwa123, on 02/19/2008, -4/+7dugg for "are you a hippie?--->No---->Phew." at the end
  • bsl4doc, on 02/19/2008, -10/+31Do you create charts with little discernible logic in a vain attempt at humour?--Yes--> Douchebag
  • ElBeh, on 02/19/2008, -0/+15Did they mention anything about Oompa-Loompa orange?
    • musicmanryan, on 02/19/2008, -3/+1Hah! I have a Polo that is that color, but I do not pop it. LOL!
      • Coolkid11, on 02/20/2008, -1/+2You're a douchebag for typing out lol in all caps after your sentence ended.
    • Elyzaria, on 02/19/2008, -1/+1Just 2 days ago I saw some douche in a restaurant in Hollywood wearing that Oompa-Loompa orange Polo with the collar popped. I wish I had a camera. Or some ninja stars...
      • passedoutghost, on 02/21/2008, -0/+0Should have just punched him.

        And ran like a *****.
    • 76Cents, on 02/20/2008, -1/+3I hate it when bitches and guys get the oompa-loompa orange tan thinking they look good..... if they only knew
  • isunktheship, on 02/19/2008, -0/+31Moral of the story, be Scottish!
    • Disket, on 02/19/2008, -0/+1Just be sure not to wear undies.
      • jon30041, on 02/20/2008, -0/+6I'll be honest with you. Kilts, sans underpants?

        Oh my God. That breeze... it is glorious.
        • crazycracker911, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1If it's not scottish it's CRAP!
  • funkyjunk3, on 02/19/2008, -0/+1pinstripe eh?
  • SuspicionVandit, on 02/19/2008, -9/+4Did they mention anything about Oompa-Loompa orange?
  • hobbitsareneat, on 02/19/2008, -3/+9Apparently I'm not a douchebag. Wearing a white tshirt and pajama bottoms. Lol.
    • PxCxG, on 02/19/2008, -0/+12Do you use the term "LOL" ----> DOUCHEBAG!
    • StanMort, on 02/19/2008, -1/+8Go upstairs and ask your mom if she thinks her son living in her basement wearing a white tshirt and pajama bottoms is a douchebag.
    • OOTZ, on 02/19/2008, -0/+4Oops! Looks like you are a douchbag anyway.
    • Suprfire, on 02/20/2008, -0/+8Yep, definatley still a douchebag.
  • spamcrusher, on 02/19/2008, -12/+7Real douchbags have seen more pussy than most diggers. Being a douchbag must suck, but the brightside is you are around pussy a lot.
  • EvoPsy, on 02/19/2008, -2/+41Farmers get all the breaks.
  • jimrooney, on 02/19/2008, -5/+0Hahaha... sorry... that was funny no matter what your "fashion" taste/opinions
  • leprix, on 02/19/2008, -0/+4dugg for Teen Wolf.
  • PxCxG, on 02/19/2008, -2/+4Generally, I love flow chart jokes, though this one was just too darn complicated.
    • funkingmajic, on 02/20/2008, -0/+4You're not very bright are you?
  • funkyjunk3, on 02/19/2008, -2/+12SKIRTED men,eh?! How dare you call is a skirt!: http://www.utilikilts.com/index.php?page_id=10
    • lolgamoff, on 02/20/2008, -0/+4Dugg for assuming women don't use the internet.
      • passedoutghost, on 02/21/2008, -0/+0I wish digg allowed me to delete comments, so I wouldn't look like a douchebag.
  • darny, on 02/19/2008, -9/+1this doesn't make any sense. Buried as lame.
  • moraldebate, on 02/19/2008, -6/+8Very close to jumping the shark on this one - this could've been WAY more amusing and infinitely better formatted. Just pointing out something that stupid preppy kids wear and calling them a douchebag does not a funny joke make.

    It's not just a stupid preppy kid, it's an asshole stupid preppy kid who thinks they are god's gift to the world and live within a fashion and reason bubble fed by a bunch of other assholes who will always live in the same town for the rest of their lives. Good?
    • Namaha, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1Which is why the flowchart is if you DRESS like a douchebag.
    • melonade, on 02/20/2008, -3/+3Are you upset because the flowchart called you a douchebag
      • moraldebate, on 02/20/2008, -0/+1Well no, I'm actually the world's biggest sucker for douchebag jokes and I didn't laugh and it scared me.
  • johanm, on 02/19/2008, -3/+1turns out im a douchebag
  • Sil3ncer7, on 02/19/2008, -3/+2NICE!!!
  • dylangaine, on 02/19/2008, -2/+10whats wrong with stripes??
    • Olga1311, on 02/19/2008, -3/+1they make person wearing them look wider and bigger. First rule of fashion - No stripes. If u must - at least make them subtle.
      • OOTZ, on 02/19/2008, -1/+2Hmm thats tricky. So if you wear stripes than that guy says you are a douchebag for violating the rules of fashion. BUT, I say that you are a douchebag If you know and subject yourself to the laws of fashion… hmm you are going to have to pick a side, and I say go with him (he has more diggs).
      • tmccool, on 02/20/2008, -0/+5that's stupid logic and i'll tell you why. if a person is in the range of really skinny to slightly under weight, then wearing stripes isn't really a problem, is it? because even if it does make you look wider and bigger, you just look regular sized. although good thing olga"coco chanel"1311 is here to lay down the law on the rules of fashion.
    • rinote, on 02/23/2008, -0/+0Vertical stripes can be very slimming if used properly (pinstripes). Horizontal stripes, you have to be careful though not to have the shirt too tight or else you'll just look bad. But in any case, it doesn't really matter unless you're into that kind of stuff.
  • ToddFFW, on 02/19/2008, -2/+6/me is wearing horizontal stripes
  • Vindicoth, on 02/19/2008, -4/+20Did you make a flowchart about clothes determining if you're a douchebag? -> Yes -> YOU'RE A DOUCHEBAG.
    • poploserdigg, on 02/20/2008, -2/+0Douchebag = trying to steal a funny concept and still not actually being funny
      • NathanielJ, on 02/20/2008, -1/+1Actually, douchebag = a bag for holding water that was used in vaginal or anal cleansing.
  • duffy89, on 02/19/2008, -3/+1haha I'm not one, already knew that like.
  • fancyj, on 02/19/2008, -1/+2Teen Wolf is not a douche bag!
  • Erez, on 02/19/2008, -1/+3YES! not a douchebag!
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